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I think I met my soulmate
What do you do when you have super intense chemistry with a customer? I mean...I feel like I've met my "soulmate" for lack of a better word, and we do know each other outside of the club, but not very well. I'm just not sure if I want to mix personal life with my work.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
A troll or are you on drugs?
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
You don't usually meet your soul mate in a titty bar.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
ive met some people i connected with really well in the club, i'm not gonna lie. But you're right, dont mix your personal life with work. Sometimes i like to joke with these guys that we must have known each other in a past life. It's pretty fun, makes work shifts kind of interesting.
Either I make a crapload of money off of them, or I write them off as buddies and dont even try at all.
Enjoy it for what it's worth, but if you want to avoid drama/ nightmares, keep the personal life separate.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
The first time i met an ex of mine was in the club. I'd just moved to a new town, we met online on a music forum and he had offered to show me around and give me the low down on the local music scene.
We'd PM'd each other and i told him i worked at the club and he should drop by for a drink early one evening. He said he'd never been to a strip club before but if that was the only chance he had to catch up with me then ok. He dropped by and it was kinda love at first site. This very tall guy with flashing green eyes and a big smile came in just as i popped my head up from behind the bar and boom - that was it. He came out with me and another girl handing out fliers and we talked non-stop. I asked him to come into the club when we got back as it was still early and we could chat for a little while before i had customers. His face when i walked out in my work clothes was a picture - the poor boy. I eventually asked him if he wanted a dance - he said he'd never had a lapdance before and if he had to have one then it may as well be from me. After he asked if he could take me out for dinner the next week and i said yes. And that was the start of a three year relationship. He rarely came into the club - he'd drop me off and then have a dance from me and once he bought a couple of friends in to watch me on stage but that was it - he wasn't really a customer or someone i met in the club, we met online if that makes sense?
My advice is to keep work and your love life separate. Even my relationship often struggled with my dancing and he knew from the very start what i did for a living but i was glad he wasn't a strip club customer because it would just have made it too difficult IMO.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
Convincing a certain kind of customers that you are, in fact, their soulmate will get them to empty their wallets for you, but don't go falling for your own brand of bullshit. Have a look thru Life Support & Ladies Only to see how bad sm of these 'match made in SC' situations can get.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
Many people often confuse actual chemistry with lust. I know I used to and it got me into trouble. Sure it is possible to meet your soul mate in the club (knew several dancers who did)but more likely it's lust. Personally I would tread very lightly because it can cause problems. Since you mention you know each other outside of the club that often makes a difference.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
It's biology, not love. When your body comes in contact with someone who is a good chemical match, the intensity of sexual desire can be so overwhelming as to feel like you are on drugs. Take your heart out of the game and look at it as if you were taking drugs to produce this kind of intense sexual high.
I love it when I meet someone who does this for me (in or out of the club). I love it even more when they pay me! Love takes a long time to develop. It will take you at least 2 years to really get to know someone and several more of trials and tribulations before you are bonded as soul mates.
Have fun with this guy and enjoy the drug-like high the two of you create when you are together. But don't mistake your biological response for finding true love. They are much, much different.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
Definitely keep your personal life personal.
Also, great sexual chemistry doesn't equal soul mate. You can have great sexual chemistry with a few ppl...that means nothing.
A soul mate puts a ring on your finger bc he WANTS to spend the rest of his life with you, & can't imagine life without you.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
I have this terrible lust with a customer (he's my idea of a perfect dom from the sexual fantasies we'd talk about), but I think it'd be a dangerous thing to mix even just personal sex life and work. It'll mess with your head at work, especially if he keeps coming in, and I think it'd be a difficult dynamic outside of work because he met you as a stripper, not as you. Regardless of what you guys talked about, the first time he saw you was half naked and selling sex appeal, and I, personally, don't think that can be a strong start to any relationship.
I'd play safe and keep work and personal separate.
Edit: just reread and saw you know him a bit outside the club. My stripper persona standpoint still stands because it's so early he'd still see a huge part of you as a stripper rather than that as a job.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
i'm confused..if you don't even know him, how do you know he's your " soulmate"? you just have good chemistry, but that's it..you don't know if somebody is your soulmate until you know who they are to the core, and seems like you only have a superficial understanding of him. i don't even like the term "soul mate", that kind of thinking ruins relationships. this is real life, not disney
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
I'm pretty sure this is a troll at this point.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
I'm sorry that you think that, but I'm asking for actual advice on an actual issue that has come into play in my actual life, and I am looking for help, not people being rude and asking me if I'm on drugs. Thanks.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
Well everyone has been giving you actual advice, and the only post you liked was the one asking if you were a troll or on drugs... sooooo...
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
:banghead::banghead:You're how old and you think you met your "soul mate" in a strip club of all places. NO. You met someone who scratches your lusty itch that's about it at this point. I met my current SO at work but I wasn't saying he was my "soul mate" after ONE FUCKING DAY. It took about a year of dating, 2 before we moved in and guess what? We're still together but we're not perfect.
No wonder this industry is going down the shitter. Meeting "soul mates"and trying to "make friends" at work!
:banghead:
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
I met my husband in the sc. and two years later, married my husband. we were together for 8 years total. he died in 2012 from cancer. my story is not the norm. then again, two years later, started dating a man that i met from the club and we've been serious for a year now. seriously in love. again, my story is not the norm and i didnt make a habit of taking men home from the club. theres a certain amount of disrespect that comes with customers who expect things easy and free and to actually find someone that you can love is like finding a diamond in the rough.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
I believe you can meet your "soulmate" anywhere. Soul connections know no boundaries, or places for that matter. The concept of "soulmates" being real, that is another matter. I am like Miranda in SATC, I don't believe that we all have only ONE soulmate, it just sets us up to fail. However, if you believe you have something special with this guy, then why not go for it? Just be cautious, be careful - don't jump the gun. If you feel comfortable dating this guy in real life, then go for it! It might make you not want to go back to work, though.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tempest666
You don't usually meet your soul mate in a titty bar.
Nope, nope you don't. :[ Not even if they have a gazillionaire bank roll, or a "magic penis made of chocolate that ejaculates money!" LMAO...
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
It would be nice if people would acknowledge the fact that I said soulmate "for lack of a better word" in my post.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
Bill Gates is my soulmate. ::)
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
I'm open to being anyone's soul mate, but since Tempest and Bill Gates are soul mates I guess that means neither one can be mine. I wanted to be both of their soul mates. I have to keep looking, maybe that homeless man would be interested in being my soul mate.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Kellydancer
I'm open to being anyone's soul mate, but since Tempest and Bill Gates are soul mates I guess that means neither one can be mine. I wanted to be both of their soul mates. I have to keep looking, maybe that homeless man would be interested in being my soul mate.
Polyamourous soul mates? It's possible, right?
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
Yes, that would work. It doesn't have to be a monogamous soul mate situation.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
I'm in love with the whole world, so as far as I'm concerned, the entire planet is my soulmate.
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Re: I think I met my soulmate
Come back in a few months to tell us how horrible it went.