Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
Very long post warning, ladies and gents! Sorry for not making it more succinct, but I really do not have anyone who truly understands in my life to talk to about this. It's something that I really need advice and outside perspective on, because how this plays out in the coming weeks and months could have a major impact on my life.
To say that money is tight lately would be a cruel joke. It seems like the smaller my purse gets, the more I miss my cozy lifestyle a few years ago of working regularly and dipping my toes into the world of what I consider sugar baby lite. I finally decided to vent my frustration about this by posting on a secret sharing app with no real expectation other than getting my feelings off my chest.
Rather than any comments or responses about my feelings, I get five offers within the hour in my inbox. The first two guys were automatically discounted because they basically only wanted a cheap hooker. The third guy was gently turned down because he wanted "a girlfriend to spoil" and I'm not looking for a real relationship. I spent a few hours talking to the fourth but lost interest when his original offer changed because I explained that sex was a possibility rather than automatic, even though he claimed he wanted realistic GFE.
The fifth, though, is the one that I've talked with off and on for several days, over a Kik account I use when I want to be secretive about myself and a handful of times on the phone. He piques both my interest and my guard. We seem to have a lot of common interests and conversation seems to flow well between us. I normally would never automatically agree to sex in a potential arrangement, but he made it clear that he expects more of a traditional escort/arm candy sort of situation. Like going clubbing together or being his date to corporate events in addition to our "sessions."
He seems to like that I fit the typical 18-21 look, but see eye to eye on a lot of relevant values at 24 than the typically younger girls he has these arrangements with. Unfortunately, those values play into part of my bullshit meter: I can't confirm who he is yet because I don't know his real name. I'm not letting it put me off too much yet since we're just in the talking phases now, and the only personal info he knows about me is my "first" (he knows it's not really my first, but it's the one I use) name, my stage name, and my cell number. From this point on, let's assume what he's had to say is legit.
The actual confirmation/initiation phase of the arrangement is a two part deal. I will have to visit a gynecologist, on his dime and with a release agreement, to make sure my plumbing is healthy and free of infections plus make plans for birth control if I'm not currently on it. The second part of the deal is a sexual "pop quiz" to see if we are sexually compatible before moving forward.
I've told him that I understand and am okay with the checkup (because I can specify in the release agreement that the ONLY info I'm okay with releasing are the results of the exam/testing, and not any personal information.) We didn't talk much about his "quiz," just him informing me that he expects it, but I will explain as things seem more serious that I expect to meet him at least a couple of times with some mild compensation for my time before I'll consent to it.
Once I'm initiated and we move into the arrangement, he says I will automatically receive an apartment/condo in the US city of my choosing. He has relocated girls in the past if they wanted to live somewhere in particular, especially if they were okay with moving nearer to one of his business locations, but I've been clear that I have no interest in relocating at this time because I'm enrolled in college here. He's fine with that and is open to relocating me in the future if I graduate or decide to transfer elsewhere. He'll make sure that the place is furnished to my liking, and it's my impression that all my bills will be paid for me. He also intends to give me a car and a CC to handle all transportation related expenses, and a new cellphone (but I'll also be keeping and paying for my own cell from personal earnings, whether he likes it or not.)
Monetary allowance is where mild discomfort regarding sex as a mandatory part of the arrangement and some red flags about control issues start to come up. As part of my "homework" in this talking phase, he wants me to basically come up with an expense report for my allowance. [On this note, can I get some ideas for what I should ask for? The only things I've been able to come up with are tuition, groceries, eating out, and recurring beauty costs. Whatever legit expenses I come up with will be rounded out to a whole number with "miscellaneous shopping."]
The way he expressed it, he is not concerned with a number so much as where his money is going. He won't be put off by little nickle and dime things (like buying snacks on the car dedicated CC while I fill up, or going over my shopping allowance with S&H charges) but he will be upset if I'm spending his money on something other than what it was allotted for.
From this allowance, he says he'll calculate how many "sessions" he wants. I'm a little put off by the level of formality involved making things seem like a transaction, but -- if all goes well and we are as compatible as we currently seem -- I don't imagine it'll be that big of a deal to accept the number or possibly want a little more?
The control issue goes a bit further when it comes to travel/events.
He fully supports his babies having jobs (the maturity of being able to support themselves is a big plus to him, since typical girls he deals with are basically spoiled brats who aren't ready to be adults after mommy and daddy stop taking care of them) and is only concerned about vanilla jobs for scheduling reasons. As I vaguely mentioned before, he knows I'm a dancer and wholeheartedly supports my desire to keep dancing since I enjoy it- and the flexibility of scheduling makes him happy.
He wants me able to hop on a plane in the same day he calls/emails/texts to tell me I have a ticket waiting. Basically, he wants me to hop in the shower, get into a fresh pair of clothes, and board the plane with nothing other than my purse. His reasoning is that he wants it to be a stress and hassle free experience, just ride in first class with the bare necessities without being bothered by hauling luggage. This kinda bothers me, but isn't too big a deal because I'll have all the necessities I need to get out of a bad situation with me and I'll be informing him as things get more serious that I'll have to bring at least one bag because I'm very particular about using my own homemade toiletries.
Once there, I'll be checked into a double room in a nearby hotel. This makes some amount of sense if he's not actually "traveling" himself and I'll be visiting him in one of his places, but I get the impression that it will be this way even when he is staying in a hotel himself. Since he's told me that he keeps more than one SB at a time, I'm going to assume that it's because he'll have at least one other baby in town at the same time. Just because I like to be very open in my relationships, regardless of type, this is something I'll have to discuss with him as things get more serious. I'll be sharing this room with one of his assistants, who will basically be my "big sister." It's her job to make sure that I'm both having a good time and not doing anything he wouldn't like on his dime. If I want to go clubbing, out to eat, to the beach, shopping, etc, she is the one who coordinates and monitors the excursions, while making sure that I am ready to see him when he wants me made ready.
For public events like corporate galas and such, I'm to act like his "flavor of the month." Discretion is the aim of the game between us. When it comes to my personal life, he doesn't care if people know I'm in a mutually beneficial arrangement, as long as I'm not advertising that it's with him. When it comes to his life, I am to look like nothing more than one of his spoiled little girlfriends. Where the control freak in him raises it's head again is apparently in my dressing for these events. He'll make clothes available for me, but hasn't been clear if this is just a "if you like something, wear it" or if it's a "pick something from this approved wardrobe." I'm hoping that it'll be the former, but I might be okay with the latter since we seem to have similar tastes.
More control freak-ery with two big maintenance things:
The first is drug testing. He says it'll probably be a rare thing, that he really doesn't demand it often unless he feels like something is off, but it will be mandatory if he wants me to have one done. He understands that I am a self-professed stoner, even though I rarely smoke these days, so he doesn't care if I pop for THC as long as I mention that I probably will when he tells me to go for the test. From the way it seems thus far, he really doesn't mind if I use certain "happy/party" drugs occasionally, as long as I'm not getting into any trouble with it and am honest with him about using them.
The second is regular STI screening. He's expressed a serious interest in not using condoms while actually in the arrangement, hence the demand that I make arrangements for birth control during the initial OB/GYN visit. Obviously, if one of his babies catches something from outside the paradigm, it causes a lot of problems for all of us and especially him in the sense that he will now be responsible for making sure we all get treated.
This leads me to the issue of what I call "the big bomb." Am I allowed to date outside the arrangement? This is always a huge thing for me, because I've never been in a situation where I wanted a relationship during the time I wanted a SD. I leave myself open for the potential that things could develop romantically, but I don't put all my eggs in one basket by eliminating the potential for things to develop with someone I may be more compatible with if I date around. Better to avoid hurt feelings later by making it clear in the beginning stages. He says he would prefer for that not to be the case for a variety of reasons that I understand 1,000% but he doesn't mind if I hook up with the occasional guy or two. "It's 2014, women have needs too; just use a condom. It's what's best for the arrangement. I wouldn't really be jealous unless he was nutting in you and taking advantage of the birth control I'm paying for."
[Side note: I was particularly rushed to get this question answered early because I do have a current interest. Things are just FWB, but we do seem to care very deeply about each other and it's not beyond the realm of reason that romantic feelings may blossom sometime in the foreseeable future. The interest is aware of my talking with the potential SD and has insisted that he is completely okay with this. The situation between us is a whole other can of worms, though, that I may elaborate on later if it's relevant.]
Sorry again for writing a book. I'm just really stressed about this. On the one hand, if it seems too good to be true then it usually is. On the other, this is not a 100% peachy keen pitch and he has made no indication of changing any part of it based on my uncertainty about some aspects like a lot of bullshitters do. All the banners of "You've Got Whale" are also red flags of "I'm A Catfish." He could be Joe Shmoe with an elaborate fantasy, or he could be a Sam Walton hiding his identity behind overalls. The opportunity is too lucrative to pass up, but I know I'm running a HUGE and clear risk of looking foolish. What could it hurt to keep talking to him and see where it goes?
Am I being a bit too foolhardy in hoping this might be a great chance, even if I remind myself "you're probably not gonna get anything more than exercise for your imagination from this"?
For now, I'm off to work on the second part of my "homework"- taking full body pics in a nice dress. Something hard to peg about this guy is that he doesn't want nudes, at least for a while. He seems perfectly happy just having me describe certain areas of my body. The pics he has asked for are a variety of selfies to make sure I'm not catfishing on my appearance, the dress shots, and a handful in lingerie.
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
Has he spent any money on you yet? Bought you any presents?
Talk is cheap. My experience has been if they want you, they pay up pretty quickly and keep it simple. The clients that go and on and on with details tend to be timewasters.
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
As of yet, he has not but it's still early enough that I'm not raising eyebrows about it just yet. I think with a couple more communications and the completion of my "homework," that's when I'll be ready to say "I've held up my end of the bargain to show legitimate interest, it's time that you start doing the same before I ghost."
I agree, talk is cheap and it's a lesson I've been reminded of in almost all of my life experiences. If these were long conversations and a lot of messages of him laying out this fantasy, I'd have already told him to fuck off. We've had maybe a grand total of 4-5 hours of communication over the course of about a week. These details were efficiently and mutually discussed, and the majority of conversation has been discussing personalities, interests, etc like you would in any other situation where you're trying to decide if you should meet offline.
Right now, I'm at a point where (aside from the expense report style allowance request) I would be ready to insist that we meet ASAP if not for the fact that we're six hours apart. I'm just not prepared for the expense involved with meeting for introductory dates that may not go well before I entice him enough to make him come here.
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
Its not sitting well with me.
I don't get why you haven't gotten any gifts and he has spoken to you for 5 hours. Thats a long time. And he wants you to foot the bill for arranging the introductory dates? I.e. travel costs etc
Its upto you but could you not ask for a small gift now as a sign of good faith? He has already gotten a large chunk of your time. And once you receive it go on to the homework?
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
Ugh. My response would be as long as your OP and I don't have that much time. The TL:DR version would be - check it out because it very well could be real, I've known girls in similar arrangements - BUT - this could very, very easily be some douchebag playing out a 50 Shades fantasy, and even if it IS real, it could go south very quickly. Sounds like you're already proceeding with caution, continue to do so. And let at least one person you trust know who he is and where you'll be at all times. ALWAYS.
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
So, does he also have to get tested to ensure his plumbing is healthy and free of infections? Will he also submit to regular STI screening? It's all well and good for *him* that he doesn't want to use condoms and will be sure of not catching anything from *you* because of all the precaution on your end, but he has openly stated that he will be fucking other people, and god knows if he has anything already.
Personally, I would refuse to do any of his fucked up homework (going to the gynaecologist, taking his pop quiz, making an expense report, or sending him tons of photos, until he proved that *he* was serious. That's a lot of time and energy he's getting of yours for free, and he could just be some on some random secret sharing app. At the very least, don't send him your face until you know who he is… And can confirm it, not just take his word for it.
IMHO this is all too good to be true since, again, he just sent you a random message on a secret sharing app with this "opportunity" and know nothing about you, but is "willing" to give you so much. Based on the secret you shared on it, he could tell you're in a vulnerable situation. So far, he has been able to chat you with online and over the phone *for free* and has gotten you to agree to do all sorts of things for him. What has he done for you? Make vague promises about how he'll take care of your expenses and then personally determine how much sex he gets in return? No no, you should be the one with the power during the negotiations.
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
This sounds like more work than a real job. Or a real relationship.
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
This sounds like a very bad idea, even assuming he is legit. At best, you'd be talking about servitude. At worst, he is looking to create dependence that he could then use for more nefarious purposes. Remember that he came to you after you posted that you were feeling desperate, something that he could be looking to prey upon in any number of ways.
First of all, you need to make him disclose who he is before you go a single step further, along with providing a way for you to verify it (such as calling him on a listed work line). You should also make him send you money as payment for the troubles that he expects you to go through (testing, pics, etc.). If he is not willing to do either of these things, then this is likely a scam.
IMHO you also need to take control of a lot more than just whether you can take a bag on a flight, including the following:
- Your personal budget is none of his business and he needs to know that. You'll light the fucking money on fire if you want - once he hands it to you it is yours to spend as you see fit. Do your budget for your own information, but don't give him anything more than flat number.
- If he wants to check your plumbing and have you go on BC so that he can fuck you without a condom, then you will need his lab results too.
- It is not his business what you do when you are not seeing him and he should not expect you to always be able to hop a plane with no notice. You WILL be in school, right? Sounds like this expectation needs to be managed a bit.
- Tell him he can shove the "big sister" idea up his ass and that you will decide how to spend your time when he is otherwise occupied.
Now if he is does the first steps and agrees to your push-back list, then maybe this could be a legit SB offer that could benefit you. Idk though. This whole thing just stinks, especially under the circumstances in which he found you. I could just imagine a situation where he insisted that you to hop a plane to a foreign country and then a "big sister" asked you for your passport.
In any event, good luck and be careful!
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
Thank you guys so much for your responses! It's situations like these, with all the negotiating and push-backs, that have always kept me in my lite arrangements in the past.
I love the way that you guys automatically pounced on the control/vulnerability aspect. In the original post on the secret sharing app, I didn't say anything that expressed my "needing" a SD right now. It was more of a vague "I miss the perks, conversation, and adventure." I don't know if he's really picked up on it in our communication, even though he seems to since he's commented on the way he likes my headstrong maturity, but I will not put myself in a situation where I am completely dependent on him.
As MissMynxx mentioned, I've always gone a step beyond someone just knowing where I am. During introductory meetings, I always meet people in public places and make sure there is someone nearby that can bail me out if things seem off or don't work out. After that, I have a phase where I make sure someone knows where I am and will have them call me at a certain time so they know something's up if I don't answer or call back in like 5-10 minutes. After that, I relax enough to just say "I'm going to be at XYZ and I'll be back around um o'clock, but I'll call if I'm running late."
I admittedly laughed a little when Rick mentioned having my passport taken in a foreign place. It's not a funny thing at all, and it has happened to more than a few women in the form of trafficking, but it's just not something that I find relevant to myself. I'm super freaking paranoid about something like that, and I made it clear to him when travel came up that foreign travel is not something I'm interested in for quite some time.
Getting back to this particular situation:
- He has said that he is tested regularly and will share his results too.
- I hadn't given the expense report much thought because it just seemed like a peculiarity/eccentricity. I'm one of those people that does like knowing what her money is being spent on, particularly when I'm giving it to others, so I just figured I'd go along with it. Since I've already put my time and thought into it, I don't want that to be time that I wasted. Maybe I should ask for a gift "as a reward?"
- I agree 100%, Rick, that what I do when I'm not with him is not his business. If I want to date around, that's my business and I only bring it up in arrangements because I don't want problems if they find out. If it's not on a CC statement, it should be "out of sight, out of mind." If it doesn't involve him, he shouldn't try to involve himself. If he tries to nose into what I choose to do in my time in when I'm here at home, I'm pigheaded enough to tell him that it's my life to live as I please and his money isn't worth being controlled. I'm signing up for a Daddy, not a Dad.
- As for the travel, do you guys think the assistant really is too far? I kinda like the idea of just being able to say "I want to do this" and letting her make it so. I also have a very vague concept of time, so it seems like it would be nice to have someone watching my schedule for me. And I can't imagine I'd be doing anything that I would have a problem with her looking over my shoulder about, within obvious reason. More thoughts on that would be appreciated, because I'm not seeing a whole lot of cons to it if it is as it was presented.
- Also on the note of travel vs school: I've always been the sort of student that could make things like that work out in the past. I'm friendly enough that I usually have one or two people that I can get to take notes for me/let me copy their notes while I'm out of class. I don't think it's a huge thing as long as it's not often enough to interfere with getting my credits, and he has mentioned that many of his previous babies were college students so I think he gets that. If he doesn't, I won't hesitate to tell him that school comes first.
- I also see what Amberlly is on to with the travel costs of introductory dates. I'm used to my arrangements being primarily local affairs, so I just expected compensation for my time on the date. When I see the different spin on it (see why I need outside opinions?) it makes sense that I should be expecting him to cover the expense of coming to him if he isn't coming to me.
I'll definitely be much more firm about needing to verify who he is and make sure that this IS legit before things go much further or I meet any more requests.
Any other thoughts or suggestions, keep 'em coming! Again, it's the first time I've ever had the potential of a serious MBA, so all advice is helpful.
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
Also, how would I go about safely receiving money/gifts before this becomes an arrangement?
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
Yes there are lots of ways to recieve gifts and money safely.
The cam girls would know the ins and outs. But generally emailed gift vouchers from your store of choice or Amazon seem to be okay!
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
Re; the assistant. You mentioned in your OP that she's not only going to be coordinating but also *monitoring* your excursions/activities. That's a huge level of control for this guy, because in the end this woman isn't *your* assistant but his. You may think right now that you won't have a problem with her looking over your shoulder, but this guy sounds like he really wants to take control of you when you're visiting him, even when you're "off the clock," so to speak, ie. not with him. I personally wouldn't be comfortable with his knowing my whereabouts 24/7 -- down to sharing a room with this random assistant. That's beyond ridiculous.
If you go through with this arrangement, I hope you demand a heck of a lot more than just the expenses he wants you to account for in his ridiculous expense report. This guy basically wants to own you, from keeping tabs on you as much as possible to demanding your presence at his every whim. Make sure you get compensated handsomely for giving him so much control!
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Naida
- He has said that he is tested regularly and will share his results too.
Cool, then he'll have no problem sharing those results when you share yours, except his should have his name firmly marked on them and look quite official.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Naida
- I hadn't given the expense report much thought because it just seemed like a peculiarity/eccentricity. I'm one of those people that does like knowing what her money is being spent on, particularly when I'm giving it to others, so I just figured I'd go along with it. Since I've already put my time and thought into it, I don't want that to be time that I wasted. Maybe I should ask for a gift "as a reward?"
Do you give your household budget to your strip club customers? Do you give it to your vanilla employers? Of course not, because it is none of their business. How is this any different? Any money you get from him would be for your time and effort. It is none of his business what you do with it and it stinks of an attempt to exercise control and create a dependency.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Naida
- I agree 100%, Rick, that what I do when I'm not with him is not his business. If I want to date around, that's my business and I only bring it up in arrangements because I don't want problems if they find out. If it's not on a CC statement, it should be "out of sight, out of mind." If it doesn't involve him, he shouldn't try to involve himself. If he tries to nose into what I choose to do in my time in when I'm here at home, I'm pigheaded enough to tell him that it's my life to live as I please and his money isn't worth being controlled. I'm signing up for a Daddy, not a Dad.
Naida, the dude is trying to tell you what to do for employment, he wants to know precisely what you spend your money on and he even wants to make you share hotel rooms with a chaperon, lol. There is no doubt in my mind that he fully intends to exert as much control as possible, which is troubling and will inevitably cause problems for you. I'm not saying that this isn't manageable, but IMHO you need to push back on all fronts and make sure he understands the limits.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Naida
- As for the travel, do you guys think the assistant really is too far? I kinda like the idea of just being able to say "I want to do this" and letting her make it so. I also have a very vague concept of time, so it seems like it would be nice to have someone watching my schedule for me. And I can't imagine I'd be doing anything that I would have a problem with her looking over my shoulder about, within obvious reason. More thoughts on that would be appreciated, because I'm not seeing a whole lot of cons to it if it is as it was presented.
You mean babysitter and, yes, this is a problem. You should have your own room to be in when he is not around. And who exactly do you think this "chaperon" would be? He can't use a regular employee as this would never fly in the modern corporate world, so it would have to be another SB or some other chick from his personal life, even assuming that it was not the big sister looking to keep your passport (lol, I hated to sound like that, but this really does stink that badly).
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Naida
- Also on the note of travel vs school: I've always been the sort of student that could make things like that work out in the past. I'm friendly enough that I usually have one or two people that I can get to take notes for me/let me copy their notes while I'm out of class. I don't think it's a huge thing as long as it's not often enough to interfere with getting my credits, and he has mentioned that many of his previous babies were college students so I think he gets that. If he doesn't, I won't hesitate to tell him that school comes first.
You say that now, but if you develop a dependence on his money, and you let him give you just enough to cover your expenses rather than just insisting on a flat number that includes a cushion, then you are going to be hard pressed to say no.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Naida
- I also see what Amberlly is on to with the travel costs of introductory dates. I'm used to my arrangements being primarily local affairs, so I just expected compensation for my time on the date. When I see the different spin on it (see why I need outside opinions?) it makes sense that I should be expecting him to cover the expense of coming to him if he isn't coming to me.
A SD always covers the cost of travel, regardless of who is traveling to who.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Naida
I'll definitely be much more firm about needing to verify who he is and make sure that this IS legit before things go much further or I meet any more requests.
Please. I still think that this is a scam and I hate to see you waste a lot of time, or worse, on something that will not pan out. I hope I am wrong, but this whole thing is just too weird.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Naida
Any other thoughts or suggestions, keep 'em coming! Again, it's the first time I've ever had the potential of a serious MBA, so all advice is helpful.
MBAs are all over the place and most don't make near the money needed to do support 1 or multiple SBs in addition to covering their own expenses.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Naida
d I go about safely receiving money/gifts before this becomes an arrangement?
A prepaid debit card might be a nice first step, but the ladies here no doubt have a variety of thoughts on this.
Good luck!
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
I've never had a sugar daddy but I'm hearing a lot of complaining over little freedoms here.
If he's telling the truth about all of this, he's loaded and loaded men love control. That's why they opt for sugar babies over wives in the first place. They want to control the aspect of this. I've seen a couple sugar babies in the past decide to screw around on the side with another man behind the sugar daddies back and it didn't end well for them. If you don't want to be controlled, tell the guy that you're not interested. If you're cool with being pampered, then go for it. Simple as that.
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ash_kali
I've never had a sugar daddy but I'm hearing a lot of complaining over little freedoms here.
If he's telling the truth about all of this, he's loaded and loaded men love control. That's why they opt for sugar babies over wives in the first place. They want to control the aspect of this. I've seen a couple sugar babies in the past decide to screw around on the side with another man behind the sugar daddies back and it didn't end well for them. If you don't want to be controlled, tell the guy that you're not interested. If you're cool with being pampered, then go for it. Simple as that.
He wants a precise accounting for her expenses so that he knows how little he can get away with giving her. He wants to calculate the number of "sessions" he has with her based upon that accounting. He wants to double her up with another girl in hotel rooms during her travel. He wants to control (1) how she earns; (2) what she does and does not spend her money on; and (3) what she can do when she is traveling and he is otherwise occupied with work.
Not exactly what I would call a "pampered" existence, lol. ;)
If he wanted to pamper her, he could simply give her an amount that he was sure would cover her needs and then some. He would also have the right to set some basic ground rules (come to me as needed or agreed upon, let me know if you are considering another partner, get tested regularly for STDs and drugs, etc.), but that level of micromanagement is absurd.
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ash_kali
I've never had a sugar daddy but I'm hearing a lot of complaining over little freedoms here.
I'm seeing a lot of demands before he's given her a cent.
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
oh god no girl, please RUN!! far away from this pscyho, some serious alarm bells are going off. the amount of control he is proposing SCREAMS predator, this is scary
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
Who the fuck does this guy think he is? Homework? Get on a plane when he says so? A babysitter? Ask yourself this, if he's so wealthy and well off, why doesn't he have you verify who you are-and in turn,he do the same-via webcam? Cuz it would take five minutes. He'd rather have you jump through hoops-for free-and take pictures. If you've spent five hours communicating with him, you need to be compensated for it. It seems like he wants to control every hour of your day, if that's not an adult work living hell, I don't know what is. How is it your problem that his wrinkled dick doesn't work and he can't feel anything with condoms? I have to get to work, but to sum it up: He wants to control what you do, say, and spend. He sounds like a control freak who's just getting his rocks off making you do stuff in hopes of getting his money "eventually". Perhaps we're very different, but I'd rather put in X amount of hours, make x amount of dollars, and not give a second thought to those supplying those dollars until they're lucky enough to be in my paid company again on cam. It sounds like this motherfucker wants you two to be joined at the hip, you've gotta consider how this will affect your quality of life, freedom, and sense of independence, cuz no amount of money is worth losing those.
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
SCAM! This honestly sounds like some guy just writing our his fantasy of what his relationship with an SB would be. I get tons of escorting emails like that... block and delete. He sounds like a classic fantasist.
You've spent 5 hours talking to him and haven't gotten anything? I'm sorry but that's ridiculous. If my escort clients don't book within 5 minutes I'm off the phone, I'd be surprised if I even talked to them that long. I get that the SB/SD situation is different, but he should be offering you something up front. My flatemate has had a lot of sugar daddys but they've never gone more than talking or a few dates because she refuses to quite escorting-- EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM HAS GIVEN HER A SMALL GIFT. And I've never heard of her speaking to them for 5 hours either. It's my experience that guys who are serious are serious, they want it down in writing ASAP, they want what they're trying to buy and they aren't going to fuck around. My escorting clients who book send me a message with the information I ask for and a booking time, I respond and say yes, and they say great see you then. The ones who don't show up or play games about being round the corner or break their back/their mother dies on the day of a booking? Lots of emails back and forth. Lots of talking. Lots of texts.
However, let's pretend that he is for real for a moment here-- no amount of money in the world is worth having unprotected sex with a stranger. If he has money it would be INCREDIBLY easy for him to fake a test. You'll definitely need his money when he gives you HIV/Hep C and you need to pay for expensive medications.... And if you really think you're going to finish school with this type of arrangement, come on girl. What are you gonna do when you're completely 100% dependent on him, gonna be thrown out on your ass with nowhere to go, and he says get on a plane now and come to see me when you have a midterm worth 40% of your grade? Say no? Do you really think someone THIS controlling is going to be understanding of that?
I think you are smarter than this but you're struggling financially right now and you're hoping that this is your way out. It isn't. If you really need money you need to step up your dancing, considering moonlighting as an escort, camming, whatever, while searching for a legit SD.
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
I'd have to say run from this one. He sounds really controlling, which controlling for an SD is fine to a certain extent but he is trying to take over every aspect of your life. This seems like a 24/7 thing, which no SD/SB relationship should be. Also, from the expense reports like somebody else pointed out, he does seem to be looking to find out the least amount of money he could pay you.. and has he mentioned how much each one of the "sessions" would be worth out of your expenses? Does he seriously have the time to manage multiple SB's in this way? It's likely somebody could have the funds to pay for literally en entire life including a car for multiple people, but do you think somebody that had that kind of money would be hanging out on a secret sharing app? Probably not. This really does just reek of somebody typing out their ultimate fantasy and nothing more.
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SweetJulia
Who the fuck does this guy think he is? Homework? Get on a plane when he says so? A babysitter? r it. It seems like he wants to control every hour of your day, if that's not an adult work living hell, I don't know what is. How is it your problem that his wrinkled dick doesn't work and he can't feel anything with condoms? I It sounds like this motherfucker wants you two to be joined at the hip, you've gotta consider how this will affect your quality of life, freedom, and sense of independence, cuz no amount of money is worth losing those.
LMAO! ^
Yea, sketchy.
Re: Unsure about potential Sugar Daddy.
OP, my original reply sounded bitchy cuz I was PMS-ing. Please be clear on the fact I was criticizing HIM, not you, your potential decisions, or your situation. I'd like to offer you some alternatives to make him seem less appealing:
1-Cam! You can apply and be broadcasting within 24 hours and you can get paid daily.
2-Strip. Even if it's a dive where you're the only girl with a full set of chompers. Work a lot, it'll be instant money.
3-Get a loan, assuming you meet the criteria for one.
3 1/2-I won't even give this one it's own number and made it the last choice because it's absolutely the last resort if I were you:escorting. If you've not done it before, please go with a reputable agency. I've never escorted and only briefly worked as a booker for a rob agency, so this is the option I can give you the least insight on. If you decide to go this route, there are amazing escorts who regularly post on this forum who you should ask for some guidance.
***Please keep us updated, we're worried about you :grouphug: