And it's okay to hurt their feelings a little bit...They like it. ;)
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And it's okay to hurt their feelings a little bit...They like it. ;)
I don't think it really matters, they're already not spending money on you. Try to focus more on things to say when you want to get them to the back for a dance.
As soon as someone turns me down I say, "well if you change your mind grab me, my name is x. Nice meeting you."
I think maybe you're mindset is off a bit? You don't owe them a reason or excuse to walk away. They should and usually do understand that you're gonna move on. If they don't get that you should move on anyway because those types are clearly time wasters.
The flip side to this question is what do you do to get away from a overly chatty time waster? Sometimes those guys will follow you around the club and attempt to steal your time and energy. This type will dangle the possibility of spending on you, flash his cash around the club, possibly attempt to grope at the dancer while she is trying to close the sale, etc.
I know it's a dick move, but I try to pawn off a newbie dancer on those guys. I'll call that newbie dancer over for an introduction, tell her that the customer has money (if he does) and then make a hasty exit. I also know that I'm not the only veteran dancer who does this. And who knows, maybe the newbie will get him to spend?
I try to excuse myself politely but quickly. Unless the guy is a complete dick I may be disppointed but don't take it personally that he doesn't want to spend on me, maybe I am not his type or whatever. As long as he spends on SM girl I don't hold too much of a grudge, & don't want to completely wreck his experience & thus prevent that other girl from getting $$ from him.
Guys who are overly aggressive or follow me around the club -- last time I had such a 'follower' I tried to ignore him, then he followed me to stage & grabbed me between the legs while I was upside down on the pole. As a result I tend to lump all of these 'followers' together as possible loose cannons & tell them in no uncertain terms to spend on me or I will have them kicked out.
I think this is really fucked. If someone is persistent about following me around without spending I WILL break it down to them: I need you to understand that I am working, when you're ready for a dance or a VIP room where we can chat let me know. Otherwise I need you to stop following me around.
It's quite simple when guys are not gonna buy what to do, WALK. These are grown men, not children who need to be passed around from dancer to dancer like infant who needs constant attention. They get it, they need to spend or they get no play.
It is pretty awful and I couldn't believe it when I read it.
I'm really frustrated with this thread. I just don't get why people are SO concerned on someone who IS NOT GIVING YOU MONEY. As soon as they turn you down for a dance a quick, "well thank you anyway and if you change your mind grab me!" Is perfectly fine. I cannot understand the level of concern there is about hurting someone's feelings for not doing shit for free. Am I missing something here??? Are you all really that fucking stressed about shut at work? How do you make money if you apparently don't leave customers unattended? Wtf is going on?
Why would you waste another dancer's time...especially a poor new girl!
You're shady AF.
Why worry about hurting their feelings if they don't care about hurting your income? You could miss out on hundreds of dollars walking through the door that another girl gets because you're sitting with a time waster. I've literally said nothing and just walked away before, dragging clueless newbies with me. These guys need to be trained like puppies.
PS-Sorry if I sound bitchy, I got zero sleep and it's that time of the month.
Agreed ^^^^. These girls need to grow sm balls & stop worrying abt customers who, if you think abt it, aren't customers since they are not spending anything. This is a customer-service job, true, but it's not like the typical customer-service jobs where you get fired for not kissing cheapskates' asses.
Agree w/ Julia that these guys need to be trained like puppies -- or maybe re-trained, after all the girls who stay w/ them for free out of concern for their cheapness-driven feelings have trained them not to respect that our time is valuable.
Thank you! They need to understand that not spending money=no attention. Oh, and buying drinks doesn't count. Most places I've worked, girls don't get paid for drinks. The ones that did only paid 1-4 dollars per drink. This is why I could never wear necklaces to work, five minutes with a cheapskate or time waster and I'd be tempted to strangle myself-or him-with it.
Customers don't give a shit about our feelings. Pretty sure...
So I've never felt like I've needed to care either.
Once I get to the point in the conversation where I'm pushing for a room or a dance and the answer is no, I simply say "oh, that's too bad, I feel sorry for you you're really missing out! Well, let me know if you change your mind" or something like that. I always try to end things on a positive note because it doesn't always happen but I wouldn't say it's unlikely for them to come and grab me later for a dance or a room. If you end things on a shitty note, they definitely won't come after you. Or, they might just not want dances, but your positive attitude gets you a stage tip.
Occasionally I do get shitty with people when they are rude or have been going back and forth on the room forever and then change their mind, but it's always best to just try and stay in a positive mindset, even when getting rejected. You don't want people to see you interacting negatively with other customers and you CERTAINLY don't want to bring that negativity to your next possible customer.
Every night I work I get a time waster, someone who wants to chit chat me up for free. These guys are the ones who will flat out ignore the question when you ask for a dance and instead ask you a question. They know what they're doing. You're supposed to always be in control of the situation as any good salesperson would be. You're getting them to do what you want them to do while at the same time making them think it's their choosing but in fact all roads lead to VIP. Maybe they'll take a detour to a lap dance or whatever first. There really was never a choice but you've created the illusion that there was. Like when I tell my kid she can do her homework before or after dinner. The point is she's gonna do her damn homework. She just feels like she has options.
How does this apply in the club? Don't want a dance now, huh? Okay well someone else does, when you're good and ready tell our host Joe over there to find me for you. Ciao *blow a kiss* walk away
I swear that when I do this a lot of times they realize the only way they get to talk to me is in the back, so they gather their shit from the bar and go where I want them to. That or they come up to me later and very politely ask for my time (a dance). The rest are the guys who don't spend money anyway. They have fun taking time from each girl dumb enough to sit with them. That's their night.
I've had customers tell me "you're popular around here" "you're very busy" YES BITCH I am. You need to make them realize that we are a luxury and if they can't afford it they don't get free play beyond seeing you on stage.
You just don't entertain people for free. You're an entertainer and if you're good at it you just DONT do it for free!
If somebody is wasting your time, that is a lot more disrespectful than you getting up and walking away.
Sure, there are guys totally new to the strip club scene who don't know how it works, who think that we get paid an hourly wage or make a percentage of any drinks they buy us. If you feel a guy is one of those guys and he's not buying a dance but you feel like he has money, you're definitely okay to ask them if they would like a dance or even explain the system to them a little bit if they don't want to just so they know that you aren't trying to be rude.
That or, "I'm coming up soon on stage so I have to go give the DJ my music!" or "I'm going to go upstairs and put on some lipstick but it was nice chatting!"