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Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
I was "trained" from day 1 to always, always, always tell customers that you're single..but I just met another married dancer who wears her ring to work and tells custies she's married. She still makes bank. Of course it may also be because she's blonde with big fake boobs. I guess the only way to know for sure is to test it out tonight. Opinions?
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
It depends on the customer.. Some customers will see it as alluring, others would feel bummed. If you decide to wear it, let the customer assume you are married: don't say you are unless they ask. Some customers would love that you are married, others would be very condescending.. If they simply ask about the ring, say it used to be your grandmother's or some other junk.
If you do a lot of pole work, do not wear it and leave it at home.
A bit offtopic: try to say "I'm kinda seeing someone although it's not super serious" in lieu of single.
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
I would go with no.
It can deter customers, plus I personally would not bring a nice ring into the club where thieves could see it.
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
I tell customers the only commitment I've ever had is a civil commitment to a mental institution. They still buy dances. ::)
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
No, always appear available.
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Yeah I tried telling custies that I was married last night (only if asked outright if I was single or not) and it didn't seem to go over too well! I guess I'll stick to the golden rule of SINGLE or "nothing serious."
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
I used to wear my ring at work and openly told customers I was married, but they would say the stupidest shit, usually along the lines of, "If you were MY girl, you'd never be working here!" Ugh. It probably hurt my money a lot, too. If I say I'm single, way too many guys fixate on trying to see me outside the club. I like to do what Jay12 suggested and say you're kind of seeing someone, but it's not serious, maybe just a friends w benefits situation. You'll get guys coming in repeatedly to try to win you over. You want them to fall in love with you and think they have a chance. :)
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
Switch it to your other hand or leave it at home. Always single. It's very strange though, not many men ask me about my marital status.
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
I think there might be a difference between "I'm married" and "I have a boyfriend" in customers' minds. I always used to tell guys I was single. However, there is merit to the argument that telling them you have a 'boyfriend' will increase your worth in their eyes (i.e. "she's a good enough catch that other guys want her too"). It inspires their competitive natures, which can inspire spending. It also makes you a bit of a safer option for guys who are also in committed relationships. I'm undecided on this one.
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
My last shift if it came up at all, I would say "I have a boyfriend" with OLDER guys (who are usually married anyway and don't care.) I also made up an imaginary Filipina girlfriend (my husband is Filipino) and that seemed to be a turn on for the younger guys lol. I keep forgetting to take my ring off but so far not a single customer has asked me about it. *shrugs*
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
I've been debating on buying a ring for myself solely on the fact that I make A TON more money when I say that I'm not single and I have a boyfriend. Especially when I talk about how I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years. The married guys and the guys in relationships eat that shit up! The single guys get jealous saying how lucky my boyfriend is to have me and how they wish they had me all to themselves. I also feel like guys are more likely to respect my boundaries when I talk about being in a long term relationship. I'm curious to know if my money will increase if I take it to the next level and buy a ring.
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
When I worked a jewelry convention last yr., I saw a gorg. silver 'wedding eternity band', w/cubic zirconias or whatever they're called. The reason I even looked there (besides the great prices & huge selection) was I had a cam custy w/wedding ring fetish. I do love it, but I wear it on my right hand, ring finger. I've seen them around in retail stores (I also had a gold plated engagement ring from Nordy's w/a trillion, but sold it).
I personally wouldn't wear a real wedding/engagement ring for the theft possibility, I also know of someone that got drugged & had one stolen. As far as telling custies, well, I'm for saying you attached w/o a lot of details
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
littlelizard
I've been debating on buying a ring for myself solely on the fact that I make A TON more money when I say that I'm not single and I have a boyfriend. Especially when I talk about how I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years. The married guys and the guys in relationships eat that shit up! The single guys get jealous saying how lucky my boyfriend is to have me and how they wish they had me all to themselves. I also feel like guys are more likely to respect my boundaries when I talk about being in a long term relationship. I'm curious to know if my money will increase if I take it to the next level and buy a ring.
Last night I did tell 2 guys I was married (after they told me they were married/engaged first!) I've found that if they're in relationships they don't mind and will still buy dances. However there was one single guy that I blurted it out too and I'm pretty sure I lost a potential sale with him. Now if they ask, I ask them and get their answer first. If they're in a relationship, then I'm in one! If not, then I'm not. I make a lot of sales by preying on young, single guys and selling them the "I could be your gf/wife" fantasy. I walked a guy through what 'our first date' would be like, and he got 2 dances from me, then told me afterwards that he never, ever buys dances. I have a lot of guys tell me that I'm "wife material" so I do play up that fantasy sometimes. We have a very strict rule about not giving out phone numbers with signs posted all over the DR, so that helps deter the phone # thing, thank god.
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
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Originally Posted by
charlie61
I think there might be a difference between "I'm married" and "I have a boyfriend" in customers' minds. I always used to tell guys I was single. However, there is merit to the argument that telling them you have a 'boyfriend' will increase your worth in their eyes (i.e. "she's a good enough catch that other guys want her too"). It inspires their competitive natures, which can inspire spending. It also makes you a bit of a safer option for guys who are also in committed relationships. I'm undecided on this one.
Saying something along the lines of "I have a boyfriend/girlfriend" (eg. I'm kinda seeing someone, I'm with a dude/chick but it's not super serious, etc.) is always the safest bet. I had have the "I'm single" line backfire a few times (eg. guys be like "how the hell can you be single?!" or "I'll take you home right now", "let's go out", etc).
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
Stripper me is single but not ISO dick since I already have a couple guys taking care of those needs.
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
I always tell guys I'm "kinda sorta seeing someone" - usually, I hint that it's an ex-bf that's come back into the picture and we're "trying to make things work." So, you know, there's enough of an element of "taken" to be able to turn down date requests, but enough leeway with not being fully committed for them to fantasize about how it "probably won't work out" and then they'll have their shot - as well as adding in that stereotypical sad stripper with a loser bf/ex-bf element, cuz we all clearly have terrible relationships and taste in men... I feel like it really taps into what customers expect from us and triggers trust (because we're telling them what they think they'd hear from a stripper about relationships and men, so clearly, we must be telling them the truth) as well as heightens the "taking her away from all this when she comes to her senses" fantasy. Makes them keep coming back so they're fresh in your mind and can be that "shoulder to cry on" when things inevitably go south with kinda-sorta-maybe-shitty-ex guy.
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
^Last night I told my customers I was divorced and made it seem very recent ( I did get divorced but it was 4ish year ago!) Kind of goes along with the ex bf thing. Since I'm 'newly divorced' I'm not really ready to jump into another relationship, but I think it also makes me seem more high value and relatable especially to older customers. I'll be using this one again tonight since the Sunday crowed is usually older/wealthier.
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
I'd say my answer to this depends on my patience at the time they ask. If it is a customer who is already pushing into 'truly obnoxious' territory or just giving me a weird feeling, I tell them I am married as it is easier for me to shut down the 'If you were MY woman' shit than to fend off 'Well then lemme take you on a date out of here' Otherwise I just kinda gamble w/ the kinds of responses others have given, depending on what I already picked up from the customer.
I do wear a ring on my left hand when I am not ITC but it is a family piece so I nvr wear while dancing. It won't come off easily but I don't want to risk damaging it on the pole. I have a simpler, cheaper, less valuable ring on my right hand that I don't take off (too small, needs resizing, a PITA to fuss w/ it) & I play up the Polish tradition of wearing the wedding set on the right hand when I'm 'married'
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
When I wear my wedding ring in the club I'd say about 4 out of 10 guys notice. I always tell them it's my grandma's and I can't wear it on my right hand because it'll get scratched from the pole.
If I'm not wearing it and I get the "Do you have a boyfriend" question, I always answer "Yep! I've got a few actually. And a girlfriend!"
They normally either laugh with me or want to know more about the girlfriend. Either way, I've got out of having to answer properly, and they're happy.
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
^Lol right? My first 2 weeks I kept forgetting to take mine off and those silly boys still believed I was single. it's not small either...a big ol' rock. haha. I've started taking it off before work though because a few guys started to notice and comment on it.
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
Honestly, selling anything is mostly about the vibe you put out there. You can wear a ring and tell everyone you are married and do air dances and make $1000 in one night if you've got the right attitude. I personally tell everyone I'm single even though I have a boyfriend because some guys are really rude about dancers who aren't single. They think their chances are higher (lol). Depends on the customer though, I've also told customers that I have 4 baby daddies and another on the way (I don't have kids) and have sold dances, so really wear your ring if you want to, but I'd personally not want it to get stolen or lose a potential big spender because he has some complex.
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
Maybe having a boyfriend could work if you play it like you aren't that into him? "Yeah, I have a boyfriend..." :eyeroll: Then the customer could tell you all about how much better he'd be as your boyfriend...
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
Bear in mind that I work dayshift and target old farts and middle-aged married businessmen... this would probably not be okay on night shift....
But I don't play that game with customers. If they ask, yes, I have a boyfriend. Yes, he lives with me. I have yet to lose a sale (knock on wood) because of it. It can work to my advantage a lot of the time; I've had them be much more respectful and cut the annoying comments/attempts to touch where they shouldn't.
Maybe I'm just getting old and impatient, but if I have to sit there and fend off phone number requests/"if I was your bf"/Captain Save-A-Ho, it's not worth the $30 max those customers are usually worth.
I wouldn't wear my actual engagement ring to the club though, I'd be worried about damaging it or having some cunt try to get hold of it somehow.
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Re: Should I wear my ring/Tell Custies I'm married?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
whirlerz
When I worked a jewelry convention last yr., I saw a gorg. silver 'wedding eternity band', w/cubic zirconias or whatever they're called. The reason I even looked there (besides the great prices & huge selection) was I had a cam custy w/wedding ring fetish. I do love it, but I wear it on my right hand, ring finger. I've seen them around in retail stores (I also had a gold plated engagement ring from Nordy's w/a trillion, but sold it).
I personally wouldn't wear a real wedding/engagement ring for the theft possibility, I also know of someone that got drugged & had one stolen. As far as telling custies, well, I'm for saying you attached w/o a lot of details
Yes wear silver & CZ rings if you choose to work the "ring hustle" - I have been robbed of some prize items over the years as a dancer because some girls are batshit crazy & will either take your nice things to spite you, or to go pawn it for crack.
I feel like some girls can get away with wearing a ring- I bet parts of the Midwest are do-able. (More conservative culture.) However I didn't like doing it- I tended to attracted very dominant, aggressive male customers & wearing a ring was a turn off to them.