Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
I have a semi-obsessed regular. He sees me once a week for conversation only, he never does dances. I make around $60-80 off of him in tips when the club is dead, which is great for offsetting the bajillion dollars my club has in fees per night. He also tells me that he loves me, he's my number one fan, he had prophetic dreams about me years ago, etc. Yep, pretty creepy!
I wound up not going to work last night, and I got a bunch of angry texts from him about it around midnight. He was like, "I waited for you for FOUR HOURS, where were you?! If you're trying to ditch me just say so. Otherwise I'm assuming you're not interested anymore -- your loss!"
I'm thinking I could tell him that I'm sick and had to stay home or something. I'm just wondering if it's worth the hassle of his overbearing emotions and weirdness. He also goes to my other club and I know he raves about me to other guys all the time, like, "OMG you have to see Kaninchen, she's sooo beautiful and amazing, blah blah blah!" so I don't think it's unlikely that he would turn to talking shit pretty quickly, right?
So what should I do?! Appease him or let him go?
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
I have a disgustingly low tolerance for that lvl of creepy. I would consider getting him banned from your clubs, since it sounds like his behaviour has jumped pretty hard from 'creepy obsessed' to 'aggressive obsessed'.
He makes me think of this unstable kid I dated in high school. I broke up w/ him bc I hadn't been interested in 'more than friends' to begin w/ & figured he would lose interest soon enough, but I was also seeing a bit of how unstable he really was. Things got ugly when I broke it off. He went from ass-over-teakettle-in-love to hellbent-on-Aniela's-total-destruction. Followed me, destroyed my things, talked shit abt me & tried to shit-talk others in my name in order to start fights. I remembered him as soon as you mentioned the stream of angry txts (tho this was b4 mobiles) it was a similar pattern.
This could just be my paranoia talking, but hopefully the number he has is for a burner phone so he can't find you?
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
If I get him banned from the club, that has the potential to just make him really mad though, right? Your post is making me think the best course is to go along with his fantasy and be like, "I need some time apart!" or whatever.
He honestly went from being regular-creepy to being freakazoid-creepy so quickly. Ugh!
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
Well, he may be pissed off but if he can't come to see you at work, he can't fk w/ your $$ or other work relationships i.e. other dancers & staff.
I would be more concerned abt leading him on further by humouring him. That was the main mistake I made in the flustercluck I described above. If you have doubts that he would respond properly to you putting your foot down, I would go straight to banning him.
Do you think he would wait for you to come out after work?
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
You know, I think I will talk to my bouncer friend about it and get him banned. I don't want to deal with this negativity! And you're right about leading him on. It's not worth the $200 a month.
I'm sure it's possible that he could wait for me after work. I would only worry if he brought a gun because he's 70!!! and I know he's not a match for me much less me and a bouncer walking me out. But then if he's going to go full-on psycho there's not much I can do besides maintain situational awareness!
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
With all that BS, and the amount of $ he gives you he's definitely not worth the drama. Free up your time and get some new regulars who hopefully treat, and pay much better :)
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
^ Yeah I told him his negativity made me uncomfortable. I'm way too nice!
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
I'd just be nice to him and say I was sick. If he gets more and more aggressive then get him banned.
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
The fact he's getting angry at you and treating you as if you're his in a way is out of order...if he keeps it up, definitely tell a manager and have him banned. $60-$80 a night is not worth dealing with someone's creepy nonsense.
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
Ewwww stalker much?! Screw that! I will not keep a regular if I don't enjoy his company on some level. I don't care how much he's spending because I can always find another one. It's really helped me not to feel so burnt out and emotionally and mentally depleted after work. Don't put up with anything you don't want to just for $. There will always be more and you don't need that shit in your life! <3
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
I politely told him to kick rocks if he's going to be an aggressive, negative weirdo lol.
I don't know why, but for some reason I always want to hoard regulars, no matter how needy they get! My mentality is always like, "OMG if I let this one go, I'll never ever get another, noooo!" Whereas I don't put up with anything from non-regulars. If they blink funny I'm gone. Is anyone else like this?!
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
I'm sorry but $60-$80?! That is terribly low for someone who is obsessed. And he has your phone number?? Move on.
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
^ Like I said he was only great for my club's cyclical customer flow. Even though he didn't tip "a lot," the time and nature of his tipping allowed me to make an extra $100 or so a night when you factor in house fees/drink commissions etc. Lol... stripper math. It wasn't a bad deal for zero contact, just listening to someone ramble during the absolutely dead time right at the start of night shift!
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
kaninchen
I politely told him to kick rocks if he's going to be an aggressive, negative weirdo lol.
I don't know why, but for some reason I always want to hoard regulars, no matter how needy they get! My mentality is always like, "OMG if I let this one go, I'll never ever get another, noooo!" Whereas I don't put up with anything from non-regulars. If they blink funny I'm gone. Is anyone else like this?!
I know what you mean. I used to be like that when I first started or when I was really desperate for $. I've put up with some super annoying regulars in the past, but I realized that's what always made me want to quit and exhausted me. I also try to not rely on regulars *too* much anymore as I've found it makes me a lazier hustler. I know some girls who won't make ANYTHING if their regular doesn't come in or they decide to spend on a different girl. Like they don't even know what to do with themselves.
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
Ughhh run run far away from this guy. He has more problems (it sounds like) than anyone can fix easily so don't feel guilty about banning him from your life. He probably gets that all the time. lol
Seriously though, avoid him b/c he's already too fascinated with so little contact. He'd probably try to kidnap you if you actually went somewhere with him. Be careful.
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
wednesday86
I also try to not rely on regulars *too* much anymore as I've found it makes me a lazier hustler. I know some girls who won't make ANYTHING if their regular doesn't come in or they decide to spend on a different girl. Like they don't even know what to do with themselves.
I've seen this happen too! So so so true. I think the extreme hit-or-miss nature of some clubs (like mine) can give regulars this like, savior status. When you know money is just a text away if the club is empty, it can be really scary to think of losing that lifeline!
Anyway, I haven't heard so much as a peep from this dude since I told him off. I think he's either busy posting vicious rants on TUSCL or in a different club looking for a new obsession by now, lol.
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
I would move on and hustle others
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
That's one of the things I have always hated about stripping. When regulars get clingy and possessive it sucks and it can be downright scary. Mostly, annoying and pathetic.
If they start getting even remotely weird, like we have a relationship, I mysteriously stop having time for them.
Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the dependable money as much as the next girl, but I cannot with the "I've spent money and now I own you." type of dudes.
Man, bye.....
Look at like this, you made money before you met the creep and you'll continue on.
Cut the ties quick for your own safety and sanity. There is not one customer or any amount of cash worth those two things.
Good luck Lady! :)
Re: Should I hustle this regular or let him go?
I would definitely talk to a bouncer about this. Maybe one you're really close to becaude you don't, and will never know the action of others besides yourself. I would cut him off, too. The stress he gives you over this could be put into another amazing emotion. I would warn the other girls at your club too about this guy. CREEPY!