Hi everyone :) My story, and a request for advice
It feels like a big deal to come out and introduce myself to you all because I've been an avid reader for months. I am constantly impressed by your intelligence, insightfulness, and helpfulness.
Here's my situation: for a few years I've entertained the idea of stripping to improve my lifestyle and get control of my debt. I am a masters student with a teaching position that pays my tuition and provides a tiny, barely livable stipend (while leaving me no time for anything else.) I don't have enough money to pay for the dental work I need, some bicycle repairs I need (let alone a car...), or to make any progress on my large student loan and cc debt. My debt keeps me up at night with a racing heart, and I wonder if I will be able to get a good paying job when I am done. It's not a guarantee in my field. Ideally I would start my own business after graduation, but I know I won't have the money or stability I need to do that.
I have been fantasizing about scaling my education way back and taking an extra year to finish my masters while stripping full time to start paying off my debt and get my needs taken care of. I just feel this paralyzing pressure from the debt, and not being able to do anything while the interest builds up is driving me crazy. I have been poor so long, and this debt has been haunting me. I feel like I'm going to snap under the pressure.
I don't really feel like there is anyone in my life who will talk to me about the prospect of stripping in a constructive way. My boyfriend doesn't like the idea and only reluctantly acknowledges the potential for a positive change, but it is on my mind all the time. Without anyone to tell me it could be a good move, I am in this limbo where I fervently dream about being free from the stress of my debt and school.
...aaand exhale. Thanks for reading all of this. I'd love to know what you all think. I could really use some advice. Almost in tears here at the library...
Re: Hi everyone :) My story, and a request for advice
Welcome around! You certainly wouldn't be the first student to turn to dancing to help you get through your studies and their associated debt.
I do believe you're over thinking it though -- stripping is just a job, so IMO you don't need to talk about the prospect of stripping in a constructive way. Just find a club and try it out. There's nothing stopping you from turning around and leaving if you don't like it. No amount of reading or talking will help you figure out what your reality of stripping will be anyway. Some girls take to it, some don't. Some girls make lots of money, some don't. You won't know how it'll go for you until you try.
Re: Hi everyone :) My story, and a request for advice
I agree with shanna in that, you really do just need to try it. Just do it! However, I can speak from experience that I wasn't "a good fit" when I first started. There is a learning curve and you will have to grow a thick skin to survive and thrive in this business. It can be learned but it takes time and you may find yourself several nights crying in the bathroom and wanting to quit because a customer stuck his finger in you, or another dancer stole your money and the managers don't care. It *can* be very cut throat. I will say (though I can't speak for every dancer/club) that I have always been able to pay my bills by dancing. I paid my tuition in cash back when I first started and never had to take out a loan. If I still thought college was worth it, I'd be paying my tuition in cash again now. If you can learn quickly and you're a cute girl, there is money to be made.
Re: Hi everyone :) My story, and a request for advice
Quote:
Originally Posted by
shanna dior
Welcome around! You certainly wouldn't be the first student to turn to dancing to help you get through your studies and their associated debt.
I do believe you're over thinking it though -- stripping is just a job, so IMO you don't need to talk about the prospect of stripping in a constructive way. Just find a club and try it out. There's nothing stopping you from turning around and leaving if you don't like it. No amount of reading or talking will help you figure out what your reality of stripping will be anyway. Some girls take to it, some don't. Some girls make lots of money, some don't. You won't know how it'll go for you until you try.
I am a born over thinker. Stripping is just a little scary for me, like any new thing, and I wish I could talk to someone in my life about it. I'm glad you all are here though. Thanks :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
wednesday86
I agree with shanna in that, you really do just need to try it. Just do it! However, I can speak from experience that I wasn't "a good fit" when I first started. There is a learning curve and you will have to grow a thick skin to survive and thrive in this business. It can be learned but it takes time and you may find yourself several nights crying in the bathroom and wanting to quit because a customer stuck his finger in you, or another dancer stole your money and the managers don't care. It *can* be very cut throat. I will say (though I can't speak for every dancer/club) that I have always been able to pay my bills by dancing. I paid my tuition in cash back when I first started and never had to take out a loan. If I still thought college was worth it, I'd be paying my tuition in cash again now. If you can learn quickly and you're a cute girl, there is money to be made.
Thanks for your advice wednesday. I'm cute and real perceptive, but my skin needs some thickening. I am going to order some shoes tonight and put an amateur night on my calendar. Hopefully I can find someone to come with...
Re: Hi everyone :) My story, and a request for advice
Hi and welcome. I feel you on the not being able to sleep because of debt. Stress can be paralyzing. Maybe ask in the dancer specific areas for advice on clubs in your area. If that doesnt work out there is always camming and phone sex. Good Luck.
Re: Hi everyone :) My story, and a request for advice
I am new to dancing (just started in June!) so I don't have the kind of sage advice that others here do, but when I started I was in a position VERY similar to yours. I'm also a master's student with a teaching position that takes up all my time and a barely livable stipend that has me eating a diet of ramen noodles for dinner every day of the week.
At least for me, stripping was DEFINITELY the way to go. I was finally able to trade in my piece of shit car cause I can afford payments on a car that actually runs, now. I am also in the process of moving out of my horrible living situation and into a wonderful apartment all my very own, paid for by stripping. Stripping was a god send because it's allowed me to work around my packed teaching and school schedule, and to double my monthly teaching income only working one day a week (I should be working more, as per the September Challenge everyone's doing, but damn is it hard!).
I agree with what others have said, though. Try not to pysch yourself up so much, just find some clubs in your town, do some research about them (e.g. are they gown or bikini, nude or topless, pole tricks and twerking necessary for success or not, etc.), and go audition. The only way to really know whether you'll be comfortable with and successful at it is if you try.
Re: Hi everyone :) My story, and a request for advice
With how much you are thinking about it, it seems inevitable to me that you'll give it a shot. Just talk it out with your boyfriend and let him know this is something you need to give a shot to see how it goes. From what i've heard though, once you're in the income difference is so high between stripping and a mainstream job or business that it's tough to ever quit. So be sure to consider that (not that it's a bad thing) :)
Good luck out there and I hope you stick around the forums!
Re: Hi everyone :) My story, and a request for advice
The only 'caveat' I would mention is that your reference to a masters degree and a teaching position indicates that, at some point, you may be seeking 'professional' teaching credentials from your state professional licensing agency, as well as a faculty teaching position. In that regard, creating a 'paper trail' of having worked in the 'adult entertainment' industry may limit available opportunities.
Obviously a 'paper trail' of having worked in the 'adult entertainment' industry won't matter if your goal is to start your own business ... well, as long as that business doesn't involve working with other people's money, other people's bodies, other people's children, etc !
Please understand that I'm not trying to dissuade you from trying exotic dancing. I'm just trying to help with 'due diligence' by pointing out that once you do start dancing, the club issued 1099 dancer income reports to the IRS, and the possible pics of you in a stripper setting being posted on the internet by the club or club customers, will likely create such a 'paper trail'.