Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
I definitely feel ya.
The good thing is that youre building rapport that will help you close a sale but too much put you straight into 'friend/sister zone'
Plus some of These guys are probably used to dealing with women at the far end of the sexuality spectrum - like more openly sensual/sexual, more assertive, even aggressive girls - so when they meet/chat with you it seems like you are a friend, sister, maybe girlfriend to them but not a stripper they'd give money to. Which may be good for your image but not good for your wallet.
If I was you I'd start with your look. Whats the first impression they get? Definitely jazz it up. More stripper-like. Im thinking fishnets, eyelashes to die for, nails, dramatic night makeup, outfits that sparkle or reflect off the lighting. just to name a few ideas....
Also, could be what you are saying to them. If I feel like I'm getting too far into their 'friend zone' I make sure to CONSTANTLY tie the topic into something sensual and flirty.
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
^ All that. I feel you on this; I look really young, they constantly think I'm 18, so I attract quite a few of those guys as well... want to talk for 20 minutes, want to manipulate me into more contact or lower prices, etc etc, because they think I'm naive.
If they start getting too far into personal topics or you feel that you're losing your control over the convo, switch it back to strip clubs or some other mildly sexual question. It reminds them that you are not "friend zone-able". I also tend to tell them at some point that I've been dancing for 5 years; it's hilarious to see their face go "Oh shit" and they immediately stop their game playing.
Don't be afraid to be a little snarky or get up and walk off if they're being time wasters either.
Your look helps a lot too. I have much less trouble with these guys when I'm in fishnet stockings, curled hair, flawless makeup and rhinestone jewelry... when you look like you're a "classic stripper" they objectify you a little more and that's what you want for money purposes.
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
Thanks ladies. I am definitely working on my look. My hair is a weird color right now-not quite blonde enough to show up that well in the club. I'm getting more highlights and lowlights done next week as I continue the hair-journey towards platinum. I am also getting a spray tan this week the day before work. I am really, really pale like porcelain and I think that also makes me look more "innocent." At least that's what my husband always says about my skin.
I bought some new dancer outfits last week; Sparkly bikini and fishnets and already have noticed a slight bump in my income wearing them. I've also started doing more dramatic eye make up but I still can't do fake lashes! I tried putting them on Saturday before work with no success. I'm going to get my friend to help me Thursday.
Anyway I hope all of these changes will help. I actually HATE talking for so long. Even if they buy a dance after they've told me their life story, it feels like so much effort. I just want to get to the point and move on!
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
@Selina, I will definitely start mentioning that I've been dancing for nearly 4 years from now on..Maybe even lie and say it's been longer. The first thing guys ask me is "How long have you been working here?" I say "2 months" (because it's true for this club) and then they think I'm a newb.
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
following this thread, i have the same problem!
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
Quote:
Originally Posted by
wednesday86
Thanks ladies. I am definitely working on my look. My hair is a weird color right now-not quite blonde enough to show up that well in the club. I'm getting more highlights and lowlights done next week as I continue the hair-journey towards platinum.
I'd totally work the platinum blonde. All the platinum blondes bank at the club I work - even the fugly ones. I bet youre hot though so this would work in your favor. Hell, I'd dye my hair platinum blonde, and get in on that blondes have more fun money, but I don't think it would work with my skin tone.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
wednesday86
I actually HATE talking for so long. Even if they buy a dance after they've told me their life story, it feels like so much effort. I just want to get to the point and move on!
I KNOW right! After 3 songs I sometimes I hear that asian lady voice in my head like hurry up and buy cotdamn it http://youtu.be/6Fb9M1e-cNc
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
^OMg hahaha that video is perfect!!! That's like what I'm thinking the whole time! lol!!!!
I definitely can't WAIT to be platinum but it's probably going to take a few weeks/months to get it where I want. There is definitely a lack of blondes at my club and just like yours, even the blondes who aren't that cute make bank.
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
When I went blonde (it took a few months because I was going from black to platinum), started dressing much 'stripper-ish' at work (sparkley bikinis, thigh high fishnets, full face makeup, hair done, fake nails and lashes) my income definitely increased, probably doubled. It cut out the time wasters quite a bit, and it gave me a huge confidence boost which translated into customers wanting to spend more money on me. Also, the change in appearance gave me a little more leeway with my at work persona, so I could adapt the 'giggly, dumb blonde' trope a lot easier. Can't wait to hear about how everything is going for you and the best of luck!
Also, with falsies, just practice practice practice at home, it took me about two weeks to learn how to perfectly apply them but they make a huge difference. I ordered a huge pack for super cheap from China and used those so I didn't feel so bad about ruining them while learning. You can get like ten pairs for two dollars on Amazon.
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
See, I don't think it's your look so much as your persona. If you're constantly hearing the same thing from customers, it's likely more in the way you present yourself and interact with them. What do you talk about? How long do you talk? What's your body language while you're talking?
You want to keep things flirty, brief, and constantly be touching them. If you're sitting there just shooting the shit like friends, it's not surprising that you get stuck in the friend zone. You can't let the customers forget that, while you're fun to talk to, you're also sexy and worth spending money on.
I had this problem before I really started working on my hustle. Now, I don't let the conversation veer too far from flirty topics. If you feel it veering, reel it back in. Getting lost in travel talk? Make up a sexy travel story, or ask if they visited a strip club in x place, or ask where has the hottest women. Bring it back to sexy things. And while you're talking, look into their eyes but sometimes look down at their lips like you want to kiss them. Bite your lip. Giggle. Touch their arm. Touch their thigh. Rub their shoulders. Run your fingers down their neck. Don't let their body relax -- get them excited.
Girl next door is a fantastic look and GFE is a great experience to offer in the back/VIP, but you can't get lost in the nice girl next door who just likes to chat and hang out while you're hustling. Look the part but act like a sexy vixen that can't wait to get some private time!
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
^I do all of the above and while it works for me getting dances with some guys, it also seems to make others think I ACTUALLY like them and that I want to hear about their life. I have a problem with them going on and on without letting me get a word in, and then trying to delay the sale as much as possible. Or they'll chat me up for 10 minutes, tell me they're not ready, and then take the next (usually more strippery looking) girl in the back for dances.
I get told "I can tell you're really down to earth" or "I can tell you're a nice girl" before I even get a chance to talk or reveal anything about my personality...Seriously wtf? How can they tell I'm "a sweet girl" when all I've done is smiled at them and said "Hi." ????
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
Are you following the 3 song theory?
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
^Most of the time, yes. Although I will let them chat a little longer on slow days, I usually try to keep it short and sweet. I just think there's something about my look or the vibe I'm giving out that's screaming "cute/naīve." Maybe I'm letting them see too much of my real personality...Because otc I am down to earth and nice. I don't wear a lot of makeup, I'm frugal, family centered, etc. I may need to make up an entire other stripper persona. I've noticed the girls who make a lot of $ come off as more 'high maintenance' which I am definitely not in real life.
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
I'm in the same boat! And that last thing you said Wednesday is definitely true for me. I think making up a completely new stripper life to tell customers about would help. I have trouble lying and end up just telling them the truth that I'm in school have a dog don't do much but work and go to class so I make myself sound so innocent and boring. The answer to this problem is probably looks and persona. I feel like I have the look down stripper-wise but I have trouble acting really sexy and flirty the whole time and make myself friend zoned. For you maybe you just need highlights and a spray tan and a new stripper life to talk about when customers ask. All we do is naked activities with our lesbian stripper roommates :D lol. I really wish it was more natural for me to be sexy though because that's where I have trouble!!
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
^Yeah I think I have been bringing too much of "the real me" to work, because lately I have been talking about my real hobbies, my son, blah blah blah. I probably come off as boring lol! But I'm wondering if they can even see it in the way I'm walking/presenting myself because I do get comments on how "sweet" I am even before I get a chance to say much! I experimented with acting completely different a while back-a little stuck up, kind of a princess-and I made good $. It's like acting! I just need to try to stay in character the entire shift, but it's hard.
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
This is exactly my problem!! I'm too much of a "girl-next-door". My hair is shoulder length and brown and I wear glasses every day (dancing will soon pay for my lasik). I recently auditioned at a fancier club and I realized at my dive bar home club, I can sell lots of $10 dances... yet at the fancy club nobody seems to want a dance from the girl next door. They want the tan and blonde "stripper" look. I'm doing the same thing as you and I have a hair appointment booked for the first week of November... gotta change my look or at least appear fancier.
I totally agree that when we look more friendly we attract more time wasters. They want a good long chat where we "bond" before they can drop $40.
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
Wow ALL of this is me. There has been a huge hit in my income this week- doing well before that but same shit- took forever to close a sale, 'friendzoned', attracted idiots and timewasters galore. Oh and the *grabbers.* I'm done, somebody stripperfy me!
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
I think every girl, one way or another ends up finding her "niche" ( which can be her work persona) and working it. Men are super visual guys. I work the angle of "almost" available , and to the older crowd. Works well, probably more a slutty look than "Over Glam", but its not for everybody, but fits my look. Many men do deep inside realize that the Glittering Blonde has higher upkeep, naturally, and costs more...and they often tip more.. Every one has a lil Niche. Sometimes it requires getting your body in the same "zone" as your mind when your hustling. Creating that fantasy lay for the guy in his mind. If a guy hasn't mentally figured out how good you are in bed, or even tried to figure that out, your not his Niche !!
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
Using more "stripper-ish" outfits did it for me. I also had a mild goth look when I began dancing, but once I ditched the black for neon colors, my earnings went up to the roof instantly.
Didn't need to go blonde. In fact, I wore a blond wig a few shifts (at a different club), but going blond didn't do anything for me: it was one of those human hair wigs that cost a lot and looked super real.
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
Just an update: Apologies because I know some of this is redundant from my posts in the "Last Shift" threads, etc.
I am now officially blonde, as in, the customers can TELL I'm blonde in the club (after I first had the color lifted out they were still labeling me as a redhead.) I got my highlights done Friday. I bought new stripper shoes, new sparkly, pretty white and silver outfits. Went to work Saturday and banked!
I didn't have to talk/hustle as much to get dances. I got a CR barely trying. I had a lot of customers approaching me for dances. Had one customer pay me $40 during $1 dances. It was insane. I'm not platinum yet but going blonde and getting away from all the black outfits has already doubled my income so far. I made more in the last weekend than I ever have at this club. I made more than my friend who is a consistent top earner.
Going back this Friday for more highlights and getting my hair even lighter. I honestly didn't know if changing my hair and outfits would make a huge difference but so far it seems to.
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
Quote:
Originally Posted by
wednesday86
Just an update: Apologies because I know some of this is redundant from my posts in the "Last Shift" threads, etc.
I am now officially blonde, as in, the customers can TELL I'm blonde in the club (after I first had the color lifted out they were still labeling me as a redhead.) I got my highlights done Friday. I bought new stripper shoes, new sparkly, pretty white and silver outfits. Went to work Saturday and banked!
I didn't have to talk/hustle as much to get dances. I got a CR barely trying. I had a lot of customers approaching me for dances. Had one customer pay me $40 during $1 dances. It was insane. I'm not platinum yet but going blonde and getting away from all the black outfits has already doubled my income so far. I made more in the last weekend than I ever have at this club. I made more than my friend who is a consistent top earner.
Going back this Friday for more highlights and getting my hair even lighter. I honestly didn't know if changing my hair and outfits would make a huge difference but so far it seems to.
Trust me it does. Blondes generally have easier fun. It's like with big boobs. It may not be MORE but it cuts down on bullshit by 100x. I used to be a bleached blonde back in 2012 and it was fun. (until my hair got fucked up, but that's a whole 'nother thread)
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
I've found that to be so true tempest! Now I have boobs I don't need to sit and talk to customers like I used to always do.
And congrats Wednesday!! I also bought a super sparkly silver bikini because everything I have is black or red. I didn't wear the whole thing just the bottoms, I should wear the top too next shift. It's funny how guys like these things. One girl at my club wore this really hot black strappy outfit that probably all girls would think looked really good but the customer I was sitting with made fun of her. Girl hot is not the same as guy hot! Lol.
Oh and since I've gone back to work with new boobs I've done a champagne room every shift I've worked! So ya I would definitely say the more stereotypical stripper you look the easier it may be to make money
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
Yess!!! I have been raven-haired my whole dancing career, and I'm going back to my natural blonde soon. At my new club, there are like 4 other girls who rock the same look at me. It's kind of exciting, having to change up your look and hustle style! I'm glad you are doing well, wednesday!
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
"looks can be deceiving" while giving him the sexiest f*ck me look you have
"good girls know how to have fun/ a good time too" wink
"are you saying nice girls don't know how to be naughty? we're usually the biggest freaks"
this is cheesy but "you know the librarian's got to let her hair down sometime, that's Why I am Here" etc.
you can also insinuate that you compensate for your wholesome looks by 'working harder' in your private dances where you can really wild (even if you don't)
ask him if he tells that to all the girls?
Jokingly ask him if this is a line he uses to get the girls to go home with him? (be careful with your tone of voice not to make him feel too defensive b/c in all likelihood while you may very well look sweet, cute, etc. a guy may be trying to build rapport or running reverse game to lower your own defenses b/c he is showing you he values you as a person and not some 'slutty stripper' and may be priming you to see him as a friend or someone you could see outside the club)
I agree though that guys love the strippery look!!!
May I suggest Googling makeovers done by Vadim Andreev , Melissa Murphy, Alexis Vogel etc. Some are just amazing but I'm sure they have a tone of tutorials for glam makeup on youtube that might be helpful to make your face look more sex-kitten.
But may I also add that IF only one certain look or type made money then everyone would all look the same. I think it really has so much more to do with attitude. Being too nice and polite or spending too much time on him can give the man the impression you are waaaay more into him that just his money. He will begin to feel like he can just have you for free and possibly otc. You give the impression that every man must want you soooo bad they are willing to fork over their paychecks just to have you even for a few hours. It's so hard to find the happy medium of knowing your worth but not being too arrogant. I think girls just find it easier to look slutty b/c most guys assume she gives dirtier dances regardless if that's the case or not.
Re: "Girl Next Door" woes
I noticed I got the dreaded "you're too nice to be a stripper" line after talking to the guy for 10-15 minutes. At this point, he has sentimental feels and the blood is draining out of his dick.
My tactic to re-direct was- touching my breasts or laying my hand in my lap. Subtle visual cues to get the Meat Train back on track (licking lips, blinking slowly, nodding your head slowly.) Get him talking about something sensual he really likes (hot celebrities, nice bottoms, fave porn star) and act FASCINATED........say "uhhhh huh" and "mmmm hmmmm" a lot.