Confused and need to make an important decision....
About eight months ago, I met a great guy. He was exactly what I was looking for in an ideal mate. I have noticed in the past, camming has affected my relationships in a negative way. So when I told him about my camming career; he was less than thrilled. We broke up for a while because of camming. Then I got back together with him because I felt like I had met my soul mate and I didn’t want to miss out on the opportunity of being with my soul mate.
I know many of you are thinking “If someone loves you, they will accept you and every part of your life.” Well I haven’t completely retired. I told him when I’m finished with school (1 year) I cam sporadically. Some weeks I don’t cam because I’m so busy with school and other weeks I will pop on more if it’s a light week. Every time I do go on; I get the cold shoulder from him. My love that was growing for him completely shuts down because of his distaste for my job and his negative energy towards me at that time. When I’m not camming as much out relationship is great. There are times when I am at peace with putting my camming career behind me and then there are other times when I’m really sad about it. I’m on the fence! What should I do ladies?
Re: Confused and need to make an important decision....
He doesn't love ALL of you; he only loves the parts of you he likes. Does that sound like 'soul mate' love to you?
His reasons for disliking your job are kinda beside the point. His actions are what's important bc of the negativity being brought to your relationship.
Camming won't give you the cold shoulder when you do smtg it doesn't like. Camming (like most jobs, & here I mean the job itself, not the ppl you encounter while doing it) tends to be refreshingly non-judgmental abt our life choices. Toss him.
Re: Confused and need to make an important decision....
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aniela
He doesn't love ALL of you; he only loves the parts of you he likes. Does that sound like 'soul mate' love to you?
His reasons for disliking your job are kinda beside the point. His actions are what's important bc of the negativity being brought to your relationship.
Camming won't give you the cold shoulder when you do smtg it doesn't like. Camming (like most jobs, & here I mean the job itself, not the ppl you encounter while doing it) tends to be refreshingly non-judgmental abt our life choices. Toss him.
Thankyou Aniela! Do you think i will ever meet a guy that will be comfortable with my job? Idk, maybe i need to get out of my conservative Midwestern town. You are right about the soul mate stuff.
Re: Confused and need to make an important decision....
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Heidi_M
Thankyou Aniela! Do you think i will ever meet a guy that will be comfortable with my job? Idk, maybe i need to get out of my conservative Midwestern town. You are right about the soul mate stuff.
There are lots of guys out there that are comfortable with all kinds of adult industry jobs. I have friends who escort that have loving partners and great relationships. Lots of dancers are happily married, etc.
I may be a little jaded, but to me the whole "soul mate" thing is total bunk. Love is just a bunch of chemicals- you can "fall in love" with basically anybody who meets your standards for attractiveness, etc. Making a relationship work is a whole different story. When somebody can see past "CAMGIRL" and see "PERSON", you've got yourself a keeper.
Re: Confused and need to make an important decision....
This ^^^^.
You're giving guys in general WAY too much importance in your life, OP. This industry def brings a solid challenge to dating, but it is also an excellent way to weed out the ppl in your life (romantic, platonic, or otherwise) who don't truly accept you.
Re: Confused and need to make an important decision....
to be honest, there would be many many people out there whom really could care less. Hell- the reason I started camming was actually suggested to me by my spouse. It started as a semi joke, then it became a little more serious, next thing I knew she was doing a ton of homework researching every single shred of information she could on the subject, even found this place for me ahead of time, made a massive list and such, we escaped the kids for a few hours and went out to go over everything....aaand here I am. I didnt so much start because it was a last ditch effort for decent income, it wasn't because we thought it would be faster and easier than other options, it was not because of these torrents of over hyped and glamorized " cam girl" documentaries that have attracted so many as of late. She suggested it, because she thought I could really use it to try and become more comfortable with myself and such and to give me an outlet for expressing myself in a way I normally cant. And we've been together over 10 years now.
what was the point of this? largely to illustrate that in a strong relationship with trust, and a decent smattering of mutual empathy and a true partnership " not a her and I - equal but separate " there is really no barriers, and things like camming, stripping etc dont matter at all because they dont define the true you as you truly are. Sure there will be the douche nozzles with control/confidence/trust issues, sure some on a moral high horse ( I still think the control/trust/confidence thing plays a factor there too) however at the same time there are plenty out there whom could give a fuck less about the petty things. just be you, and true to yourself and love yourself as that above everybody else is who is most deserving of that affection. let that worry about finding the perfect person drop to the side, it does not define you, it does not validate you- and with that nice clear mind, I'm sure you'll find it easier to pick up on who is more likely than not to be open and accepting ( though alittle too into the idea of your profession can be just as bad ) Thats my 2 cents at any rate
Re: Confused and need to make an important decision....
You are wasting your time, even if you eventually quit this is something he will always hold against you.
Re: Confused and need to make an important decision....
Give him the cold shoulder and toss him. He doesn't love you unconditionally and anyone especially a soul mate should do that at a minimum!
Re: Confused and need to make an important decision....
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You everyone for all your input. It really helped.