Lap dances and touching (PLEASE HELP)
I just started dancing. My first night was a Thursday night. I made good money, and I like a lot about it. I am disturbed by how awful most of the costumers are though. I thought that during lap dances the dancer is not allowed to be touched. At my club the customer is allowed to touch your boobs, unless you do not want them too (the managers say it is all about our comfort). I would rather they not touch me at all, but I am afraid of not being able to stack dances because other girls let customers grope them. Why is touching allowed at my club? Is this normal?
Also I keep getting customers who try to touch on top of my thong (it is only topless) on my vulva. They also frequently try to lick my nipples. WHAT THE HECK?? The other girls say this is normal.... I am so irritated. Is this really how the typical strip club customer acts?
I was giving a dance at one point in the night and heard another girl scream because a customer bit her nipple.
This is the only topless club around, because the others are nude. I do not want to do nude. Should I stay at this club, since it was only my first night?
Also all the girls smoke in the dressing room and I have asthma. I do not want them to hate me... How can I make this stop without them knowing it was me. This must be illegal?
Re: Lap dances and touching (PLEASE HELP)
RE: smoking in the dressing rooms. Get ready at home, go in w hair/make up/outfit under your street clothes. Get in and out quickly.
Re: Lap dances and touching (PLEASE HELP)
strip club customers can be assholes, so yes this comes with the territory, sorry. you need to be firm with them, assert your boundaries before the dance, and always watch them. keep your guard up. lots of clubs are full contact, it really depends on the place..look up threads about how to hustle in an extras club in hustle hut. if you aren't comfortable doing nude, then don't do it. but if you feel you may become more comfortable, check out the other club and see how it goes..a lot of times nude clubs are less contact ( but not always)
welcome to stripping
Re: Lap dances and touching (PLEASE HELP)
Dance defensively- if they keep trying to lick your tits, turn around. And same goes for the booty. He will know that you're uncomfortable with him touching if you are constantly dodging his hands. And if he has the slightest bit of a conscience he will cut it out. I like to be playful but stern when I am uncomfortable with the contact- pull his hands up over his hand and hold them while you dance. Say something along the lines of "don't be baaad" in a sing-songy voice while tapping his lips with your finger.. works like a charm. They love it when you tell them what to do. Everyone likes boundaries from time to time. As for the dressing room, just spend as little time as possible in it. The less time in the DR the more money in your pocket. Even if the club is dead it's better to be on the floor as you'll be the first dancer the next customer who walks in sees. Meanwhile everyone else will be chain-smoking in the DR with no money. Hope this helps! Good luck hun!
Re: Lap dances and touching (PLEASE HELP)
I usually can tell if a customer will be overly touchy feely and in these cases I get money upfront so if customer gets out of line I can warn him or end the dance.
Most customers - the smart ones - will ask you before the dance what kind of touching you allow to keep themselves out of trouble.
Plus I stay moving during the dance. Some customers are handsy but moving around makes it harder for them to touch where they shouldn't be touching.
I once had a customer I could feel him reaching for my pussy and I tould him to 'watch out' like warning him and he got the point.
Guys like this know they are wrong but they will try to test boundaries to see what they can get away with.
Just make sure to speak up for yourself and let them know before the dance what you are comfortable with.
Re: Lap dances and touching (PLEASE HELP)
Working in a club with regular contact levels that are significantly more than your personal boundaries is an uphill battle. Customers are used to being able to touch, so you're constantly pushing their hands away, saying no, dancing defensively, etc. It's incredibly draining and the reality is that it does limit your income potential.
May I ask what your aversion is to dancing nude? It's possible the contact levels are significantly lower in the nude clubs in your area, and that might far outweigh whatever benefit topless dancing has for you.
Re: Lap dances and touching (PLEASE HELP)
Don't completely write off the nude clubs yet. Every club is different. I once thought I could nvr handle a nude club, bc I thought there is just too much that can go wrong -- but I have worked sm topless clubs that were better/safer, & sm nude clubs that were better/safer. The dress code is not what determines how safe a particular club is.
Re: 'customers not allowed to touch the dancer' this varies officially by local laws (serious legal matter, so find the laws for your area!!) & will be influenced by club culture. Sm areas are 'air dance / no contact' by law, meaning you don't touch them & they don't touch you. Other areas allow varying amts of contact by dancer or customer. Sm places have really wacky ways of determining what falls under 'prostitution' i.e. heels need to be a certain minimum hgt, no touching your own boobs while dancing, not allowing two girls onstage together even if it's a completely pole-centric set. Again, you need to find this out for your own area.
Even the non-asshole customers are not mind-readers. You need to be upfront w/ the contact lvls you are comfortable w/. For me it was 'no boobs & no box' & I politely state this at the beginning of the dance. It's also good customer service to let them know this at the start so they are generally less likely to get pissy when they go to touch smwhere but you won't allow it.
NVR EVER EVER say you will allow XYZ actions or contact in order to sell a dance, if you are not going to follow thru. This is setting yourself up for trouble. It falls under asserting your own boundaries. You do not OWE any customer a damn thing, & if any coworker/staff/mgr tells you differently, pack your stuff immediately & do not ever go back to that club.
Also, stacking dances: I took that to mean multiple dances w/ the same customer. If you are able to get multiple dances, NVR allow them to stack a bunch w/o paying. Collect every few songs. Check out the thread 'Why do guys get so offended when asked to pay upfront' thread in Strip Club Junkie forum.
Finally, Idk if you are currently in an 'extras' club but look for a thread by Laurisa called 'How to make money as a clen dancer in a club w/ heavy extras'. It is a bit old but it is priceless, one of the most comprehensive threads on the subj. Run a search for her username, she has not been active here for awhile but she has made several other very informative posts that will be of use to you.
Re: Lap dances and touching (PLEASE HELP)
I have similar question!
15 mins dance is ok but how about 30mins and 1hr ? What do we do besides dancing ? Because only 15mins it really tired already
Re: Lap dances and touching (PLEASE HELP)
I am in the exact same place right now. I'm new to stripping and I'm working in a full nude heavy contact club (I am under the impressions girls offer extra services) and I don't like to be touched, only lightly and only when I'm in full control of it and it is very, very draining fighting off the touchy guys. I have only done two nights but I'll be moving clubs very soon, maybe consider a low/no contact nude club if you can? It might be a lot easier? But don't do it if you're not comfortable of course. Maybe just search around for a club more suitable to your needs, I'll be doing exactly that.
Re: Lap dances and touching (PLEASE HELP)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jessica_jacky
I have similar question!
15 mins dance is ok but how about 30mins and 1hr ? What do we do besides dancing ? Because only 15mins it really tired already
Tell jokes, talk dirty, talk about whatever. Tease when you strip, don't just take it off.
If you mean tired as in physically tired and not just bored- dance slower. Also don't think of it as "dancing" so much as "posing". You move fluidly between various sexy positions, run your hands over yourself, draw attention to various areas of your body.
Re: Lap dances and touching (PLEASE HELP)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SuperJa
Tell jokes, talk dirty, talk about whatever. Tease when you strip, don't just take it off.
If you mean tired as in physically tired and not just bored- dance slower. Also don't think of it as "dancing" so much as "posing". You move fluidly between various sexy positions, run your hands over yourself, draw attention to various areas of your body.
This ^^^^. When you're doing a block of time, whether it's 15min, 30min or whatever, you're not expected to spend the ENTIRE block dancing. Look in Hustle Hut for threads of ideas for what else to do in VIP. As said b4 jokes, chat, etc. I often open by giving the customer a back massage, esp if the room had a couch he could stretch out on instead of just a small bench/booth. He removes his jacket&tie if he's wearing one, & I start at the shoulders & slowly work down to lower back & sm times arms/legs. I take my time, work it in deep & whaddyaknow -- there's 10min or more out of the way, he is relaxed & happy, I am in full control & his grubby mitts aren't looking to go where they shouldn't.
When you do dance, dance sloooooooooowwwwww like molasses. Take the initiative, & this goes for individual dances as well -- take his hands in yours & hold them, massage them, squeeze them gently. It is sensual contact that YOU control. If he is wearing a quality jewellery/watch/cufflinks, bring his hand up like you're wanting a closer look & compliment him, ask what the stone is, where he found it, etc. Obviously nvr allude to how much the item might have cost. Compliments are your friend, & if you have an appreciation for jewellery, you can segue from the compliment into a little talk abt stone preferences, etc. & you're back to burning time w/ conversation.
Re: Lap dances and touching (PLEASE HELP)
I appreciate all the advice. I am just going to keep at it, and see how it goes.
How do taxes work? Should I ask my house mom?
Re: Lap dances and touching (PLEASE HELP)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
all_is_well
I appreciate all the advice. I am just going to keep at it, and see how it goes.
How do taxes work? Should I ask my house mom?
Dollar Den is the place to go for tax questions. It will vary based on whether your club issues tax paperwork, for one thing. You can also make an appt w/ an accountant just to get all your questions answered, I know taxes always do me in. My accountant in VA was the shit, super-informative & non-judgy :heartbeat If they give you snark for your job, find another accountant.