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Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats your +
experience? Im kind of starting to believe that most married men that come to the club alone genuinely have something lacking in their relationships. Do you ladies notice how some married men who come keep it to just strictly about seeing some new pussy, where as others try to kiss or suck your neck, and seek extras? Im becoming more and more surprised by how many of them do what in my opinion are emotional things in the club and appear to easily lose themselves in the fantasy of it all. Whats your view on married men coming to the club alone?
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
If you're looking for a 'numbers' sort of answer ... married men are as varied in their needs as single, divorced, or any other group of men. Why do you find this so surprising?
My view of them as ppl, however, is ... less than flattering, shall we say. It's more a view of men (or women for that matter) in general who come in looking for extras than of married men in particular, but if there is one thing I don't ask customers abt themselves, it's any question abt their marital/romantic status. I try to 'unsee' wedding rings, not necessarily bc I see the mere presence of a married person ITC w/o their partner as cheating (I don't) but bc I find it too easy to make unnecessary, & possibly erroneous judgments abt the customer if I let myself see that little shiny band on their finger as anything other than either a trick of the light or 'just another piece of jewellery'. Maybe the customer's SO knows they come to the club & they are cool w/ it; maybe the customer is the stereotypical SC creep looking for side attention on the sly; maybe any number of things that I don't know & don't need to know in order to do my job. ETA, this is the attitude I try to maintain towards customers B4 they start asking for extras. Once they start down that road, it ceases to matter to me whether they are married or not, bc I file every single extras-seeking SC customer under '[censored to avoid invoking mod wrath] POS'.
Now, my thoughts of any1 who comes to the club looking for extras, well ... like I said b4, Idc if they are married, single or anything else. But Idk if this is the appropriate place for me to be spouting that particular bit of vitriol so I will just leave it at this.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
I think they're scum. I try to get the most body glitter and fake tan on them as possible and I always judge the fuck out of them and play the total bitch role. I hate married men looking for extras in the strip club.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
I don't do anything for them in the club (I'm a firm believer in being able to charge more for extras via escorting than trying to shortchange myself financially in the club) but I need to point out 1) a lot of people marry for convenience NOT love. Very few people have the total luxury of being able to marry someone they "click" with....So sometimes a marriage isn't some magic castle that no one should mess with....It's just a legal contract.
2) It's immoral to rape one's wife. If a man can keep his wife happy by taking his gross sexual desires elsewhere, great.
3) Some wives are nasty people and not necessarily a whole lot of fun to be married to.....this is why strippers and escorts are the unsung saviors of many marriages. I personally would never keep a spouse I hated, but kids and money always end up in the picture with men.
TL; DR- Life is complicated, don't judge so fast
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
You make it sound like arranged marriages are rampant and no one has any choices. I don't think men are forced to stay in marriages because of money, especially if they're in the club blowing it on scotch and cheap ass....
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
^^^^ I think sm times it's just a matter of taking the easier road. Stay in a marriage you hate for the sake of legal or financial simplicity & just get your kicks elsewhere. I've known ppl in my personal life who did just that, & altho I don't think they saw it as an ideal by any means they were both basically content w/ that kind of arrangement.
Also, we don't really know anything abt our customers beyond what they tell us, & a good 90% of what they do tell us is usually a steaming pile of bs. A guy could be telling a dancer that his wife is a frigid she-demon bc he thinks it'll get him further than 'Eh, we just don't really give a shit abt each other anymore but haven't gotten around to splitting up' I think we sm times learn more abt them based on what they don't say.
Then there are the freaky couples we see ITC that are both doing everything in their power to get a dancer to go home w/ them, short of hogtying her & throwing her in the trunk of their car -- who's to say that none of them would be cool w/ their SO seeking good times w/ another partner w/o them present?
So I agree w/ Snuffle's point, sm what. There's too much in these ppl's lives that we don't know abt to make an accurate judgment abt their reasons for being such supreme POSs.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
These particular type of guys have been married for decades and time has brought along a lot of changes. They are unhappy in their marriages and are just trying to fill in their gaps (at least temporarily). In the majority of the cases, the wife has gained weight, gotten older, changed for the worst and vice versa. For example, one of my customer's wife hasn't had sex with him in over 20 years. Another customer of mine is lucky if his wife puts out once a month; and when she does its like checking off a to do list. Oppositely, I also had a customer who won't give his wife sex because she refuses to go to the gym no matter how much he ask her to. It's gotten so bad he can't even get his dick up in bed with her.
Kinda hard to leave a marriage when there are kids involved, mortgage, fear of alimony, etc.... That goes to show that marriage can be a death trap but we don't think about that in the beginning. These cases are very common and honestly they're only human and just crave intimacy like we all do. These men are lonely in their marriage so they come to a place where women cannot say no (strip club). If their marriages was indeed fulfilling, we'd be out of business. Sad reality.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
I always wondered why men get married and stay married to women they were unhappy with?!? Seems like pure torture to me but eh! whatever works for them...
I do find that over half of the guys I chat with are married and some of them don't dare tell their wives they come to strip clubs.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Then there are men who are married to perfectly normal women who have no idea how much of a scumbag their husbands are. I've met plenty of men who praise their S.O. but just want new side pieces every now and then. It's scary how many are like that. Makes me sometimes not miss being in a relationship.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
skripper
You make it sound like arranged marriages are rampant and no one has any choices. I don't think men are forced to stay in marriages because of money, especially if they're in the club blowing it on scotch and cheap ass....
In some cases the man is actually better off staying married. My first sugardaddy's wife had more money than him due to her family. He just wasn't fucking her anymore.
*I've* personally been in relationships where I would rather spend a night vomiting than a night fucking my partner. Naturally those are exes now. I stayed for reasons that were valid at the time.
A lot of the "dirty dog" married men I've talked to felt like sneaking around was the easiest thing to do. Others had either been cheated on by the wife OR were having some extreme problems with her....but could not divorce yet. Timing is everything in life.
I can't expect many of you to agree with my view. I have witnessed plenty of crap marriages. IMO marriage was developed as a contractual agreement....not for love. Life is not a Disney movie with "Happily Ever After." Sorry. Also IMO you will be happier when you accept the reality that people change over time and maybe you are not better off trying to hitch your wagon to someone who might become detrimental to you in a big way in the future.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
You can't boil it down to one reason, every man is different and as an escort I tried not to judge my customers as it's not my place. My best regular wasn't married but he had been with the same woman for 15 years, and my 2nd and 3rd best regulars were both married. I would say about 80% of my clients were married. I always thought that it would be single, horny guys looking for escorts but it wasn't really the case (for me anyway, could possibly be I just don't attract that market).
I think as men and women get older women's sex drives tend to dim and men's don't. I had a lot of older clients who worshipped their wives but after menopause they had little interest in having sex with them. They had no interest in leaving them for another woman or beginning any kind of affair, so seeing an escort was an easier route for them-- they thought it was a kinder option (safe sex, no emotional connection, financial transaction) than going to a bar and picking someone up. Same goes for women who get turned off from sex after having a baby. What I learned as an escort is that men don't want sex, they NEED it, and if they aren't getting it from you, 95% will go look for it elsewhere.
Other than that... some men just can't settle on one woman and want to keep playing the field and seeing what's out there. They're bored and horny and have an hour to kill before their train leaves. Their wife just cheated on them and they want to get back at her. They want something sexually or have a fetish their wife won't fulfill or is grossed out by. They're drunk and aren't thinking clearly. The list is long.
In the situation of, having an affair, I wonder why you would stay if you really love that person, but we're not talking about love here, we're talking about sex. I think a lot of men are in happy, sexually unsatisfying marriages and are looking to fill the void. I think they tend to be the ones to gravitate towards the sex industry (I have honestly never had a client who is married ever say anything negative about his wife unless he was talking about their sex life) rather than the ones in unhappy, sexually unsatisfying relationships-- they're more likely to look for an affair. But who knows, just my personal theory!
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
as a stripper, don't feel its my place ( or job for that matter) to judge them or try and ascertain whether or not they are married , like i'm judge jury and executioner. it doesn't matter to me, as long as they are being respectful and paying. its my job to entertain them, nothing more.
there are tons of reasons to stay married : kids and money ( even religion or culture) probably being at the forefront. its not like "breaking up" where you just grab your stuff and leave when shit isn't fun anymore. almost all my regs are married..and they love venting, and having me say " oh my, she's a real bitch..she just doesn't see how amazing you really are, she doesn't understand you baby" etc etc bla bla. most of them spend 50% of the time bitching about their wives and wanting their egos stroked. a lot of marriages are cold and sexless, and i'm just a shoulder to cry on and a pair of boobs to oogle without any strings attached or a real "affair" being had.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Before I ever even thought of being in the adult industry, I knew about the kind of things that *REALLY* happen in a marriage. I now realize all the gold-digger type people I knew early on were probably coached into that by their parents & elders, who also understood that marriage wasn't all about handholding and googly eyes at eachother.
The old saying goes, The only people who really know what's going on in a marriage are the couple themselves....
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
My guess is that married men are starved for affection in their relationships, especially in couples where the wife does most of the child care as well as working outside the home. Women have physical contact with people on a regular basis, whereas our homophobic culture prevents men from any more affection than a handshake. Single guys can hook up, guilt free, as well as getting affection from women in a more platonic way through friendly hugs and the like. Married men have very few heteronormative opportunities for touch with another human who isn't his wife or child.
By the time they find themselves at the club, many are starved for affection and sexual attention.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
I hate to insert a negative thought into all of this, but sometimes men do it for no other reason than because they can. They have the means to pay for it and the ability to go through with it without getting caught. Many of these guys truly love their wives and intend to stay with them forever, but simply crave a little excitement and new bodies to explore. In fact, if I had to guess, I would say that a solid % of men who do these things fall into this category.
However, IMHO, when faced with someone who they are paying to help them cheat, many of these same guys feel enough shame that they come up with stories to justify what they are doing. Maybe some of these guys need to believe this stuff themselves in order to assuage their own guilt. Idk, but if I were you ladies, I would take any excuses I hear with a grain of salt.
I for one don't bother coming up with excuses for the ladies that I pay for xyz. If you have serious hangups about providing services to married men in this business, then you may be in the wrong line of work. IME married guys are easily a solid majority of paying customers in any adult entertainment venue and they are often the ones with the most disposable income.
I'm not going to go into my own circumstances as anything at all to do with my wife is off limits, whether it is ITC or even on an anonymous Internet forum, but suffice it to say that my reasons for doing what I do are primarily a result of my own personality flaws and not hers.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
skripper
I think they're scum. I try to get the most body glitter and fake tan on them as possible and I always judge the fuck out of them and play the total bitch role. I hate married men looking for extras in the strip club.
I think maybe you are in the wrong line of work.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Men have very complicated feelings about their wives. I've heard married men tell me that they won't let their wives give them head because it's too perverted (like getting mud on a beautiful car) so they get it done elsewhere. Y'all know I don't do extras but I've had married regulars who (claimed) their wives are sick, old, busy with their jobs, etc to give them enough attention. They paid me a lot of money to fill that void. I think men are actually more emotional than women and don't know how to express themselves. I can say from experience of being "trapped" in an unhappy marriage, I did seek attention from men other than my ex. Although I never cheated on him, I definitely could have...and if there had been a place full of hot guys who would give me undivided attention and sex for a fee, I may have taken advantage of that no-strings-attached quick fix.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tourdefranzia
I think maybe you are in the wrong line of work.
Right -- bc being a (clean) stripper & having any respect for the importance of a marriage vow are so mutually exclusive.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
wednesday86
I've had married regulars who (claimed) their wives are sick, old, busy with their jobs, etc to give them enough attention. They paid me a lot of money to fill that void.
At first I couldn't understand it, but then I saw a documentary to day where a guy said he paid escorts for sexual healing so to speak since his wife was sick and unable...She knew about it and they both agreed....I mean it would be cruel to divorce a sick wife just to get fucked so this is the only reason I could see a married guy stepping out on his wife sexually.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
wednesday86
I can say from experience of being "trapped" in an unhappy marriage, I did seek attention from men other than my ex. Although I never cheated on him, I definitely could have...and if there had been a place full of hot guys who would give me undivided attention and sex for a fee, I may have taken advantage of that no-strings-attached quick fix.
Just curious but what stopped you? well you don't have to answer but Whatever the reason, maybe more married men should think like you and have more will power.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rickdugan
many of these same guys feel enough shame that they come up with stories to justify what they are doing. Maybe some of these guys need to believe this stuff themselves in order to assuage their own guilt. Idk, but if I were you ladies, I would take any excuses I hear with a grain of salt.
Yup. Agree.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
One guy annoyed me. He wanted a BJ and I told him, "I barely enjoy sucking off my hot 24 year old boyfriend, what the fuck makes you think I'd enjoy your grey pubes and shriveled nutsack?!"
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Oh, most guys who asked me for extras were married. It was just sad. I had no problem taking their money in the club, but I always found them pitiful as human beings and hoped their wives signed prenups. Oh, and I tried to get as much make up/glitter/perfume on them as possible.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aniela
Right -- bc being a (clean) stripper & having any respect for the importance of a marriage vow are so mutually exclusive.
There is a difference between harboring a grudge against married men and acting on that grudge. The former is completely understandable. The latter, IMHO, is rather short-sighted given the % of club customers who are married and have disposable income to spend. While a girl may get great satisfaction from doing things like covering a married guy with glitter or perfume (as laid out by two different dancers in this thread), it will be the first and last time she sees any money from him, assuming that he buys anything from her to begin with since many married guys are on the lookout for glitter or strong perfume to begin with.
Idk. Maybe the loss of money is worth it to these girls and if so then so be it, but it seems silly to me to go through all of the headaches involved in stripping just to let your personal feelings about married guys lighten your wallets.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
^I usually agree with you on CC posts, but I can't on here. Cuz while you lose THAT married guy, who you don't respect in the first place, another will come in by the end of your shift. Wash, rinse, repeat. I don't see it as "ruining marriages", I see it as "making the rounds."
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Agreed with all the above comments about it usually being more complicated than men just being "disrespectful dogs" or whatever. Regardless of what is going on in their relationship, or whose fault it is, or if the objective view is that he's "scum" or needs to just leave her instead of doing these things behind her back, whatever whatever, the bottom line is that most married men who use strip clubs and escorts do so because they do love their wives and a stripper or escort is an easy way to relieve the frustrations of a marriage without fucking up the marriage further. Or maybe they don't love their wives and there are issues keeping them together. Either way, it's usually not just about some simple scenario of "men are pigs" - it's usually a lot more emotional and, frankly, understandable than that.
Does that mean I like dealing with married men? Or seeing their wedding rings or hearing them talk about their wives and marriages? No. I'm not a robot. Of course I still think about how I would feel if I was the gf/wife to such a guy and how much that would suck, regardless of his emotions and logic in taking these actions. And even if I understand why people do the somewhat shady things that they do, I may not necessarily agree that it's the right course of action just because it's the easiest course of action. BUT, I'm their entertainment, not their marriage counselor. It's not my place to have that lecture/discussion with them.
Lastly, I think it's important to realize that the married men who go into SCs and ask for extras are a self-selected demographic. Just because every married man you see in the strip club asks for extras, doesn't mean that all married men are cheaters. The ones who aren't, don't even end up in the SC most of the time. It's not that surprising that the ones that you do see, who chose to specifically walk into a very sexualized environment, would be the ones who are also down for more than just watching some naked girls dance around. You're working in a place that specifically attracts married men who are in that place, in that mindset, and are seeking stuff like that. Try not to over-generalize it or you'll just make yourself crazy.