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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
I think a lot of men have a Madonna whore complex.
They have their soccer mom house wives in the burbs who takes care of the house and kids. She is the mother of their children. She is the care taker to their legacy (actually heard a man say this).
But At some point sex becomes more of a burden than pleasure for both parties.
The whore, who will do anything sexually, has always been a fantasy in the back of his head. They make great girlfriends but horrible mothers (heard a guy say this too). But now that they have their legacy secured by a wife, they start looking for that whore to take care of him.
Its why I have never gotten married. I enjoy my freedom too much to be locked up inside some man's legacy or fantasy. Now if he wants to believe I am different, well that is his problem, not mine.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
The angry strippers are forgetting something, or 2 "somethings"- men hit up stripclubs b/c it's a fast, easy, convenient way to get sexual excitement without real risk. Here's an old mean joke from Playboy Magazine- "How are a washing machine and a woman different? One won't bother you for weeks after you dump a load in it." Truth is, any meaningful cheating comes with real risk.
& Ultimately, men are very sexual & don't understand how talking to a hot girl is so harmful. They get hard-ons all the damn time, sometimes for no reason. They don't attach deep meaning to every hard-on.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Vamp
I think a lot of men have a Madonna whore complex.
They have their soccer mom house wives in the burbs who takes care of the house and kids. She is the mother of their children. She is the care taker to their legacy (actually heard a man say this).
But At some point sex becomes more of a burden than pleasure for both parties.
The whore, who will do anything sexually, has always been a fantasy in the back of his head. They make great girlfriends but horrible mothers (heard a guy say this too). But now that they have their legacy secured by a wife, they start looking for that whore to take care of him.
Its why I have never gotten married. I enjoy my freedom too much to be locked up inside some man's legacy or fantasy. Now if he wants to believe I am different, well that is his problem, not mine.
The double standard complex is a huge issue too. Most men in general are too insecure to have a hot hot wife, let alone deal with their partners being freaky in the sheets.
Truth is, the stripper is a hot ride for the customer. One he can't handle. (I wanna make a joke about the sports car that killed Paul Walker but I think that would be in poor taste.) It's fun for him to visit PlayLand with a stripper but your average PL would be unable to handle a stripper girlfriend.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rickdugan
There is a difference between harboring a grudge against married men and acting on that grudge. Idk. Maybe the loss of money is worth it to these girls and if so then so be it, but it seems silly to me to go through all of the headaches involved in stripping just to let your personal feelings about married guys lighten your wallets.
The OP wasn't talking about stripping for married men. She is talking about extras. Unless there isn't a difference to you ......
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
I have heard/seen a lot of judgemental talk from strippers at work about married customers whether the guy was a jerk or not....To me it never seemed wise to have a total black and white viewpoint about people who were filling my pockets.
& I've noticed married men often end up cheating with convenient women (co-workers, neighbors, friend's wives) ......I have heard some funny stories about this but I'm not going to put them here. Simply put, a cheater is gonna cheat.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aniela
Right -- bc being a (clean) stripper & having any respect for the importance of a marriage vow are so mutually exclusive.
No, because you are in an emotionally toxic environment that is in opposition to your personal beliefs. Your mental health is in jeopardy if you are faced with a moral dilemma between your financial needs and your beliefs. Also, there is no such thing as a "clean" stripper. Our job is to create lustful thoughts in our customers. You are the catalyst of a sinner's sin. Everything else is just semantics.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tourdefranzia
No, because you are in an emotionally toxic environment that is in opposition to your personal beliefs. Your mental health is in jeopardy if you are faced with a moral dilemma between your financial needs and your beliefs. Also, there is no such thing as a "clean" stripper. Our job is to create lustful thoughts in our customers. You are the catalyst of a sinner's sin. Everything else is just semantics.
Seriously? Everyone knows she meant clean dancer as in not a prostitute, not holier than thou BS. No shit strippers create lustful thoughts. Any other gems of wisdom to share? If a girl thinks that married guys don't belong in the club at all, then yes, she probably shouldn't work in one. But that's hardly what Aniela was saying.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Thnx lynn2009 that was exactly my point.
TdF I think you're hardly in a place to tell a girl she's in the wrong line of work as a dancer given your admissions in CConvo.
I've stated my thought from the beginning of this thread that married ppl in the SC aren't the problem, & that I try not to know anything abt their relationship since I don't need that kind of info in order to do my job. The problem is ppl, married or not, who come in asking for extras. My kneejerk reaction to the 'I'm married but looking for sm1 to fk on the side' is less than favourable, but like I said, Idk enough abt their relationship dynamic to judge(maybe they swing or have sm other kind of poly thing & it's mutual) so I let it go. The fact that they are too spineless & self-absorbed to ring an escort & come sniffing ITC to get their itch scratched, is what gets me angry, regardless of their marital status.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tourdefranzia
I think maybe you are in the wrong line of work.
Really? The strip club isn't a whore house. I'm not there for men looking for extras. Sorry they don't sit right with me but I can be a stripper without being ok with men expecting sex acts in the club!
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aniela
Thnx lynn2009 that was exactly my point.
TdF I think you're hardly in a place to tell a girl she's in the wrong line of work as a dancer given your admissions in CConvo.
I escort. I don't fuck in the club, if that is what you are implying. I follow the club's rules.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aniela
I've stated my thought from the beginning of this thread that married ppl in the SC aren't the problem, & that I try not to know anything abt their relationship since I don't need that kind of info in order to do my job. The problem is ppl, married or not, who come in asking for extras. My kneejerk reaction to the 'I'm married but looking for sm1 to fk on the side' is less than favourable, but like I said, Idk enough abt their relationship dynamic to judge(maybe they swing or have sm other kind of poly thing & it's mutual) so I let it go. The fact that they are too spineless & self-absorbed to ring an escort & come sniffing ITC to get their itch scratched, is what gets me angry, regardless of their marital status.
Finding escorts is getting harder and harder since many of the marketplaces have been shut down. Craigslist and backpages are dangerous for customers and sex workers alike. The high quality sex work marketplaces are being shut down at pretty good pace. So men, in an effort to get their needs met in a fairly safe environment will come into the strip clubs seeking extras or escorts. If you want men seeking extras and escorts out of your club, your best bet would be to work toward decriminalizing the sale of sex from one adult to another. Like in Canada.
Otherwise, it is just going to be part of the deal of being a stripper. If being propositioned by married customers bothers a dancer to the degree that the OP indicated, she is in for a very unpleasant career and could even be doing herself mental harm by continuing. My post was out of concern for the OP.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Vamp
The OP wasn't talking about stripping for married men. She is talking about extras. Unless there isn't a difference to you ......
Vamp, IMHO his marital status shouldn't matter, regardless of what he is trying to obtain. As everyone here knows all too well, a solid % of club customers are married and they are often among the best spenders. This makes sense really since they tend to have more disposable income than divorcees or younger, single guys. So it goes to figure that they will also be very well represented in the % of customers who end up looking for something off the menu, either right away or over time.
Now if a girl loses her mind every time that a guy solicits her, then I suppose she might as well just do the same with the married guys. But for girls who find a way to hustle cash from non-married seekers of extras, which unfortunately is a necessary reality in some places, they are hurting themselves by not doing the same with married guys. Now perhaps those of you who have a seemingly endless supply of new blood walking into your clubs have the luxury of having very thin skins, but IME some girls just don't have that luxury and must work with what they've got.
And here's another thought for those of you who are preparing your glitter bombs for the next married guys that you encounter. You do realize, do you not, that a solid % of the guys who tell you that they are single are lying, right? So what you are actually doing is treating the honest ones worse than the ones who are married, seek extras AND lie to you. Just something worth thinking about.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
I very rarely get asked for extras (been told I give off a vibe that there's no way in hell it would happen), so I can't really comment on that.
But as far as experiences with married men, I usually get told they are A) on a limited time frame and have probably told some kind of lie to their wives to buy them the hour between work and dinner, and B) most are very physical touch starved and usually spend at least ⅓ of the dances being cuddly and touching allowable, non-"dirty" places. My guess is their wives are just too busy or have a lower sex drive, and let's be real, who doesn't enjoy looking at a younger, more attractive individual (male or female) sometimes? Many probably love their wives dearly but have a biological need that's not really being fulfilled at home, or just simply not enough attention, so they get it elsewhere. They don't tell them because they don't want to hurt them or cause a fight or what have you.
I try not to judge them, though sometimes I feel bad for the wife when they admit that she is out of town or thinks he's late at work, just because I personally would rather my husband tell the truth than lie to me... but then, I "get" it a little more than "vanilla" women... and if I had no sex drive, I'd probably tell my husband to go have a good time at the club *shrug*
Re: Skripper's post about getting fake tan on them... while it may be rude and judgmental... it's a personal thing to judge different breeds of customer and choose to dance for them or be assholes to them. Every girl I've ever met has a type she just LOATHES talking to. BUT it's probably not smart business to alienate someone who can potentially be worth repeat $$$ even if you don't like their personality. I get where she's coming from; you'll see me dance for a Mexican maybe once a week because I am as fond of them as she is of married men; but the phrase "Their money is as green as the next guys" is also true.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
The stripclub is the last place to go seeking virtuous behavior from anyone, male or female, married or single. Present company excepted, of course...
;D
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tourdefranzia
Finding escorts is getting harder and harder since many of the marketplaces have been shut down. Craigslist and backpages are dangerous for customers and sex workers alike. The high quality sex work marketplaces are being shut down at pretty good pace. So men, in an effort to get their needs met in a fairly safe environment will come into the strip clubs seeking extras or escorts. If you want men seeking extras and escorts out of your club, your best bet would be to work toward decriminalizing the sale of sex from one adult to another. Like in Canada.
And this should be my (or any other clean dancer, for that matter) problem, because ... ? :thinking: Seriously, help me here.
Ppl who choose to pay for sex, or provide sex for payment (regardless of the reasons for it) are taking a risk. That's just what it is. If you're(speaking in general, not to you in particular TdF) enough of a grownup to take that risk, you should be enough of a grownup to not put others at risk w/ you. That's exactly what extras seekers & providers ITC do, whether they want to admit it or not, esp if they are bold(read: dumb) enough to do it to the extent that the club gets a reputation, gets investigated & gets busted & clean dancers/staff get dragged down right along w/ them.
I'm not trying to villify prostitution itself, I could give a shit less if ppl want to make paid arrangements for sex. Assuming both parties are in agreement (no coercion) I say ok, whatever gets you off. But regardless of where any of us stands on the issue, prostitution is illegal. Its execution ITC can put my safety, my freedom, my legal record at risk, so sry that I don't find that acceptable. I fail to see why my choices, as a clean dancer doing smtg totally legal, should be 'Put up & shut up so the poor unhappy sex-starved clients can get their rocks off in peace' or 'Move to Canada'.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tourdefranzia
I escort. I don't fuck in the club, if that is what you are implying. I follow the club's rules.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tourdefranzia
I am an extras girl in my club, and I own my doormen. They know I'm discreet and they rely on the money I give them. The owner or GM may have different feelings about the subject, but no one has ever told me what I'm doing is a problem.
As for everything else in this thread, I do not care if men are single or not. I never ask but sometimes I see the ring or they'll mention their wife in conversation. When I do find out they are married, I take it as a good sign. Usually they are more respectful and yes, have more to spend. As for guys who fool around, that is their business but I find it hard to wrap my head around the idea a person could do something so directly hurtful to someone you supposedly love and respect on a regular basis just because you want to.
Things are definitely worse money and expectations wise than a year ago but I still think there is a place for ACTUAL strippers in strip clubs, not every guy (married or not) needs to fuck a new vagina weekly. Some guys REALLY do just want a night out, talk to a pretty young girl, touch a pretty young girl, whatever.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
I gotta say that I don't condone going out of your way to get glitter on customers after spotting a wedding ring. Everyone is entitled to their personal opinion but deliberately trying to sabotage them is unprofessional. Besides, even if you don't want their "tainted" money some other girl will. So at the very least please knock it off out of respect for your coworkers.
Working in strip clubs has taught me so much about the nuances of long term relationships, as well as divorce. If I ever get married I think I'll be really prepared to make it work. I've seen and heard so much about how marriage can go wrong and the long-term effects of problems that aren't properly addressed by both spouses, that I think I'll be able to recognize potential problems and work on them with my partner. I also wouldn't want to marry a guy with Madonna-whore issues who is going to stop seeing me as a sexual being after I have kids. It just seems like such a sad existence for both parties.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rickdugan
Now if a girl loses her mind every time that a guy solicits her, then I suppose she might as well just do the same with the married guys. But for girls who find a way to hustle cash from non-married seekers of extras, which unfortunately is a necessary reality in some places, they are hurting themselves by not doing the same with married guys. Now perhaps those of you who have a seemingly endless supply of new blood walking into your clubs have the luxury of having very thin skins, but IME some girls just don't have that luxury and must work with what they've got.
And here's another thought for those of you who are preparing your glitter bombs for the next married guys that you encounter. You do realize, do you not, that a solid % of the guys who tell you that they are single are lying, right? So what you are actually doing is treating the honest ones worse than the ones who are married, seek extras AND lie to you. Just something worth thinking about.
First of all no stripper here is loosing their mind. These girls are expressing their frustration about something they noticed in their customers.
They are not hysterical or stupid. They know who their customers are and how to treat them. They do not need you to school them on that fact.
IMHO you have taken this observation very personally because you are a married customer. Since you have felt the need to give us the same advice repeatedly, here is mine for you.
IF you do not want a glitter or perfume on your person; do not go to strip clubs.
IF a stripper treating you less than, because you are married, annoys you; do not go to strip clubs.
IF the thought of a stripper treating you any way other than what you think your money deserves pisses you off, do not go to strip clubs.
Or you could realize that in every profession people voice frustration with the bullshit they see and it isn't about you.
That is why stripper web was created.......... for strippers.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Vamp
I think a lot of men have a Madonna whore complex.
They have their soccer mom house wives in the burbs who takes care of the house and kids. She is the mother of their children. She is the care taker to their legacy (actually heard a man say this).
But At some point sex becomes more of a burden than pleasure for both parties.
The whore, who will do anything sexually, has always been a fantasy in the back of his head. They make great girlfriends but horrible mothers (heard a guy say this too). But now that they have their legacy secured by a wife, they start looking for that whore to take care of him.
Its why I have never gotten married. I enjoy my freedom too much to be locked up inside some man's legacy or fantasy. Now if he wants to believe I am different, well that is his problem, not mine.
Quoted for truth.
When I get married, I will treat my wife like a whore in the bedroom and an angel out of it. Judge me if you must, but I just don't see the point in repressing that side of my sexuality. We grow up with these crazy ideas that put the "one" on a pedestal and ultimately it ends up in an unhappy sexual relationship which is the beginning of the end.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
lurkingtitties
I gotta say that I don't condone going out of your way to get glitter on customers after spotting a wedding ring. Everyone is entitled to their personal opinion but deliberately trying to sabotage them is unprofessional. Besides, even if you don't want their "tainted" money some other girl will. So at the very least please knock it off out of respect for your coworkers.
Working in strip clubs has taught me so much about the nuances of long term relationships, as well as divorce. If I ever get married I think I'll be really prepared to make it work. I've seen and heard so much about how marriage can go wrong and the long-term effects of problems that aren't properly addressed by both spouses, that I think I'll be able to recognize potential problems and work on them with my partner. I also wouldn't want to marry a guy with Madonna-whore issues who is going to stop seeing me as a sexual being after I have kids. It just seems like such a sad existence for both parties.
I agree with this. As I said earlier I never judged my clients or my customers for being married, it's really not my place as their entertainer to play god/marriage counselor, and you never know anyone's situation. The best regular I've ever had was married and his wife was fully aware of what he did and had no issue with it, she actually frequently told him to go to the club if he was annoying her. He didn't disclose this to me until a few months after I had begun dancing for him, and it's just proof you never know what the situation is with a customer when all you've said is "hello" and seen a wedding ring.
Even if there is no agreement, I still don't feel it's my place to say it's right or wrong when my role in this person's life is as a service provider. I don't have to think that my customer has high morals or that he's a really respectful, charming, gentlemen to dance or service him as an escort-- he's not my friend or a potential boyfriend or my best friend or sister's boyfriend, he's a cusotmer/client. I hope that my boyfriend never sees an escort and doesn't begin trolling strip club regularly, but I will admit that if something were to happen where I was unable to satisfy him sexually, it would make me feel a lot better for him to do one or the other rather than go out and have an affair, since after years of sex work I can see how little emotion is involved in the interaction.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tourdefranzia
Finding escorts is getting harder and harder since many of the marketplaces have been shut down. Craigslist and backpages are dangerous for customers and sex workers alike. The high quality sex work marketplaces are being shut down at pretty good pace. So men, in an effort to get their needs met in a fairly safe environment will come into the strip clubs seeking extras or escorts. If you want men seeking extras and escorts out of your club, your best bet would be to work toward decriminalizing the sale of sex from one adult to another. Like in Canada.
I live in a country where sex work is decriminalized, and I can tell you that I still got hit up for extras every night when I was working in London clubs. Guys who go to SCs looking for sex are different to escorting clients, IMHO. Guys will always go into SCs asking for sex because they might be too shy or afraid to outright book an escort, get drunk and out of hand and didn't plan it ahead, or just have an ego and think they're so hot women won't be able to say no, or lastly, think if a woman is a stripper then she must be willing to take money for sex. It being legal or not makes no difference. You can still easily book an escort in the USA.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
They want forbidden fruit.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Vyanka
They want forbidden fruit.
They want their cake & eat it too?
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rickdugan
many of these same guys feel enough shame that they come up with stories to justify what they are doing.
I knew a customer who was engaged and would come to the club for the sole purpose of sex. I asked his friend why he didn't just go out with escorts in that case, and he said the guy doesn't "consider it cheating in the club", but considers seeing escorts as cheating. The mental gymnastics on that one.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Oh just to clarify, the disrespect and leaving makeup on guys I mentioned was for married guys who asked for extras, not just married guys, period. Since I don't provide extras and hate cheaters, I figured it was the only fun I could have with someone I'd get little to no money from, anyway.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
I put lipstick on a customer once, bc he was a grabby fuck at the bar trying to feel on everyone's tits and ass for free(not mine...he tried!)and had NO intention to spend money. Not a loss right there.
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Re: Married men asking for extras-- I'm amazed at how almost all of them do. Whats yo
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Vyanka
I put lipstick on a customer once, bc he was a grabby fuck at the bar trying to feel on everyone's tits and ass for free(not mine...he tried!)and had NO intention to spend money. Not a loss right there.
Yeah no mercy for fucksticks like that.