Re: I can't stand pet names! Why must other women use them on me?
A pet name can be used with affection or malice. I think you have to look at the intent and base your reaction off that. Peronally I lke the times I've been called "hun."
Re: I can't stand pet names! Why must other women use them on me?
I never like pet names if I feel the person is condescending.
I never like it when someone calls me 'Dear'. I'm not really sure why. It just seems like they're talking down to me for some reason.
I get called 'baby, bb, or some derivative of that on cam everyday, even though I have my name right in their faces.
Re: I can't stand pet names! Why must other women use them on me?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
lestat1
A pet name can be used with affection or malice. I think you have to look at the intent and base your reaction off that. Peronally I lke the times I've been called "hun."
I agree with this. I can definitely see when they are being used in a condescending manner-- usually put at the beginning or the end of a passive aggressive, or just insulting comment, 'sweetie' being the most commonly used. But I think they can be used in a positive manner as well. Whenever I write a message to a girl friend, I begin with "hey girl" "hey babe" "hey girlie" and it's just a sweet way for me to begin the message, or say hello in person, and these are my close friends so I'm definitely not being condescending. And like it has been mentioned, it's a cultural thing. I've been addressed as "sugar" "honey" by a lot of African American or Southern women and they definitely weren't being condescending, and 'babe' gets thrown around constantly in England.
With my boyfriend, if I hear my name or he hears his name, it's a sign that the other is fucking pissed. We always use pet names with each other and it's just us being affectionate. Same with my mum.
I don't think you can put them in one category, it just depends what the tone one and the words following them, or preceding them, were.
Re: I can't stand pet names! Why must other women use them on me?
[QUOTE=KikiGem;2697995] When women call each other that, it is not a term of endearment; it is a way to try and express dominance while belittling the other woman. QUOTE]
^I disagree, but any word can be affectionate or rude-it just depends on the delivery and the interpretation.
Re: I can't stand pet names! Why must other women use them on me?
I agree that it depends on interpretation and tone behind it.
If I was in the south, I would not get offended at being called "honey" or "darling" because that's a cultural thing that's totally normal there.
Here in AZ, however, it is not normal, and I have only ever heard women use it towards other women with condescending tones. For example... there's a tack store I will no longer patronize because one of the employees called me hon/sweetie... as she was questioning my judgement on something. She plainly didn't think I knew what I was doing and the use of pet names only reinforced that. Girls at work do it to new girls to express condescension and superiority as well... you're not on equal footing with them until they start using your name instead of "Hey honey".
Soooo, I get where you're coming from, Kiki. All you can do unfortunately is just politely say "Could you not call me sweetie, please?" and move along.
Re: I can't stand pet names! Why must other women use them on me?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KikiGem
The author of this article summed it up best:
http://www.xojane.com/issues/pet-names-condescending
My fellow dancers refer to me as either 'honey' or 'baby' so much and I find it very condescending. I am your co-worker, not a child. When women call each other that, it is not a term of endearment; it is a way to try and express dominance while belittling the other woman.
I'm a young woman. I pay my bills, take care of my shit and work just the same as any other woman. The only time I use pet names is when referring to a very young (under 10) child.
So what's the deal here? Why do people call me childish pet names so much, even OTC?>:(
I call people "pet names" just because it sounds less formal than "Miss.", "Madam", or "Sir", not because I want to express dominance or feeling superior. Also, I spent a while in the military: I couldn't stand calling officers "Sir"/"Madam", especially since a few of them weren't worth of such titles.
Second, pet names are a cultural thing in some cases: in the south, people use pet names with each other (even co-workers) .