Why do I feel like strangers know I am a stripper?
/:O
I have been 10++ years in the business of hiding my secret life of a dancer.
I have maintained other jobs in the meantime, and sometimes stripping by itself. Now I am in Cardiac Ultrasound (and still travel dancing). I bring that up to tell you what happened in the Dr.'s office today.
A female patient came in and she commented on how young I look and she never would have thought I was in my mid-30's . I responded with "yoga and tons of water"....and so she began the outpouring of her newfound love of yoga. In the meanwhile, I am performing an exam and so I am half-listening while working. We work our way along different conversation about her exam and about 5 minutes later she looks away from the monitor and at me and asked, "So can you do inversions and all that, too?"
Now if you have ever done pole, which I am assuming you have, you will agree that no one really uses this word....except when talking about doing inversions on a pole. Immediately, I panic. I keep my cool because in my field, you must. Even in the greatest emergencies, you are not allowed to fray. I believe that stripping has prepared me for this, with all the shocking things I have been exposed to hearing all the while smiling, full of endearment and the man-turned-warthog in front of me.
Holy crap, in my daze did I slip into my second life? No. No, I hadn't. So then WHY is she asking me this? Myself, knowing the underworld in which I often occupy, feels that the look she gives me while asking is clearly a "you know I know" kind of look. Which all longtime dancers know that at this point, you might as well come clean. I had made that mistake before, only to receive a shocked response from the other side of the conversation. Oops. Misjudgement strikes again. Hope our kids can still play together.
Well I didn't tell her. I just said, well actually I have a Lyra (aerial hoop and it is true) that I spin all over on, so yes I can go upside down.
A strange look flashes.
Her response:
Oh because in my Yoga class they do some crazy headstand inversion stuff. I don't think I'm ready for all that yet.
My response:
Oh no....I'm not a fan of headstands either.
Clearly I over exaggerated the scenario. Am I alone in this?
Re: Why do I feel like strangers know I am a stripper?
The good news is you would make a bad liar. But the other thing is, yes, people can pick up on little details (body language, grooming, etc.) that are Hollywood stereotypes of strippers. Some will make "fishing" statements to see if the woman will admit to being a stripper (which is subject of fascination for both genders.)
Men tend to pick up on social cues- I've noticed a non-bar worker woman is much less engaging and friendly towards men. It seems like women tend to rigidly dictate social interactions with strange men, maybe to prevent them from "getting the wrong idea." Bar worker women tend to be more relaxed/engaging.
Re: Why do I feel like strangers know I am a stripper?
I 'slipped' a few months ago w/ a guy I had just met at MEPS. We got dropped off together & I am not particularly friendly to strangers, but I figured I'd better make sm lvl of friends w/ this guy or my anxiety was going to eat me alive. As we were chatting during one of the (many) hurry-up-&-wait periods I made an off-the-cuff remark that got my foot in my mouth. Let's just say that it had been awhile since I was talking to ppl who didn't already know I was a dancer.
Too late to take it back, so I thought he will a) be a dick abt it, in which case, great bc he lives 3hrs from me & I will only see him once a month or so, or b) be an adult & non-judgmental. We'd known each other maybe three hrs or so at this point :D but he actually ended up being cool abt it & we got to be good friends.
IME as long as you watch what comes out of your mouth & keep one ear fully on the conversation, you're fine! Unless you all but tattoo it on your forehead (literally or figuratively) ppl don't know what you don't tell them. I can see where it would have been easy to have a slip like the one you described, sm times I will zone out from a convo I'm listening to (when not fully participating) & miss 'just enough' so that one odd word or sentence makes me sit up & go 'WTF just happened?!' Good save w/ the mention of the aerial hoop :thumbsup:
Re: Why do I feel like strangers know I am a stripper?
I am a perfect example of not wanting to talk to guys, but always providing a demure smile. This often invites an unwanted conversation. Smiling at men is just habit for me. #alwaysonmyhustle lol
Re: Why do I feel like strangers know I am a stripper?
I was hoping the hoop would work....but I think outsiders are in the dark on that one too lol
Re: Why do I feel like strangers know I am a stripper?
Honestly some people are so sheltered or repressed they interpret any non-normal thing about a person as a grave indicator of craziness. Aerial hoop dancer? What a weirdo! Nose ring? Devil worshipper FREAK!
I work with a bunch of sheltered young Midwestern women and it drives me CRAZY how small minded and mean they can be. They tend to internalize all the negative nasty shit their mothers and grandmothers believed....which is not good for anyone. Generations change for obvious reasons...
Re: Why do I feel like strangers know I am a stripper?
Well you were talking about yoga and inversions are a yoga term. Actually i don't think any non strippers would even know inversions refers to pole tricks also.
Re: Why do I feel like strangers know I am a stripper?
I am constantly paranoid that my double life may catch up to me. But I know the more I worry about it the more likely that will happen so I try to relax about the whole thing.
I'm sure I've been recognized out in public. I notice dudes staring or being extra nice to me. I can't help but wonder did they see me on stage or did I give them a VIP dances. Most times I act like I don't know them. If they talk to me or say they recognize me I say they've got the wrong person and deny. I also keep a small circle of friends so this helps too.
If I was a dancer with no kids then I wouldn't GAF but I don't want my actions to negatively affect the kid so until people can get past the stripper stigma, a double life it is.
Re: Why do I feel like strangers know I am a stripper?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
miss.a.p1600
I am constantly paranoid that my double life may catch up to me. But I know the more I worry about it the more likely that will happen so I try to relax about the whole thing.
I'm sure I've been recognized out in public. I notice dudes staring or being extra nice to me. I can't help but wonder did they see me on stage or did I give them a VIP dances. Most times I act like I don't know them. If they talk to me or say they recognize me I say they've got the wrong person and deny. I also keep a small circle of friends so this helps too.
If I was a dancer with no kids then I wouldn't GAF but I don't want my actions to negatively affect the kid so until people can get past the stripper stigma, a double life it is.
They could just be being nice and paying attention cause you are hot you know.
Re: Why do I feel like strangers know I am a stripper?
People don't think about strip clubs and strippers most of the time. Especially in the medical business, it is pretty safe to assume that no one is thinking about strip clubs.
Also, positions like Crow and Plow in yoga are called inversions.