Re: Outed all over Facebook
This is HORRIBLE. I can't help with how to get the links off line, but I do believe you could have a fantastic case against here in personal injury court for how much emotional pain and suffering the harassment is brought you. I would also get a restraining order against her, consider changing your band name, cancelling your shows, as well as changing your youtube channel name, deleting any personal sites you have, maybe even changing either your first or last name legally. Change your camname, and maybe camsites as well. I know that all sounds horrible, but something must be done to protect yourself and your family/band-mates.
But most importantly if you are going to sue her for emotional damages you need to be recording EVERYTHING. Lock & Save text messages, screen shot EVERYTHING before you take it down and change it. I think a lawyer would help you more than the police, maybe the lawyer can send a letter to facebook to get it removed. You need to teach her a lesson, money is the best way to teach someone a lesson, maybe if you bankrupted her it would teach her a lesson. Also, I'm pretty sure you can press charges for online harassment, so I would maybe speak to the cops after speaking to a lawyer about this.
ALSO, visit as many lawyers are you can before you decide on one, any lawyer you visit she can NOT use from my understanding, so go to all the best lawyers in town, that'll really fuck her over when you take her to court.
WHATEVER you do, do not hide, do not be ashamed, and do not go on a deleting spree without saving evidence first. Don't just be weak and delete everything and try to forget this and move on with your life. She tried to ruin your life - it is now your duty to do everything in your power to ruin hers.
I would also bring this to her employers attention that she is harassing you online. I would contact her mother, and father, and tell them how she is harassing you, and her obsession with you. I would contact everyone in her life who could punish her for this - but NOT in a harassing way, in a informative way. There is so many ways to get good old revenge, but it should be more than revenge, you need to do so much worse than she has done to you before she thinks she can get away with this and harm another person. Because she will, and now someone has to stop her - let that person be you. Be the strong woman you KNOW you are - and don't let this bully you.
Re: Outed all over Facebook
This is cyber harassment. It is illegal. Not sure what state you're in, but you might take a look at this site to see what the laws are and hire a lawyer. Print out all the facebook pages, etc. Print out your emails from facebook, etc. Make screen shots of the text messages (if you can swipe your phone's screen to take the screen shots, that would be great, and then forward those images to your email so you don't lose them.) I hope the following helps. Check out the links.
http://www.ncsl.org/research/telecom...ment-laws.aspx
Right now, there are a handful of ways victims can address their attackers through the legal system, both civilly and criminally. Unfortunately, many of them are costly and invasive, and combined with a lack of education and precedent, these channels don’t always offer the justice people are seeking. The law is notoriously slow to adapt to technology, but legal scholars say that if done right, the law can be used as a tool to stop this behavior.
When this happens to a victim, they can take their complaint to one of the justice system’s two worlds: criminal or civil. In the civil court, victims of these kinds of cyber attacks, from stalking to revenge porn to online bullying, can sue their harassers through something called tort law, otherwise known as civil wrongs. There, victims can claim the torts of defamation, intentional infliction of emotional distress, harassment, and public disclosure of private fact...
In the world of criminal law, federal cyber-stalking laws, in place since 2011, include language allowing prosecutors to go after people using electronic tools to harass. These laws specifically stipulate that an “interactive computer service” cannot be used to threaten. Citron said approximately half of the states in the U.S. have also updated their laws to allow authorities to press charges against people engaging in cyber stalking and cyber harassment.
(taken from http://www.theatlantic.com/technolog...ssment/382638/ )
Re: Outed all over Facebook
Re: Outed all over Facebook
What a total psyco batshit crazy person. I never can understand how someone can cause so much emotional harm to another person. I'm soooo sorry sweety. Hugs! Hope you make that bitch burn.
Re: Outed all over Facebook
[email protected]
You need to consult an attorney and let that little cunt know she's dead wrong and that you will take legal action if she doesn't remove Those facebook posts.
Sorry to hear this happened.
Re: Outed all over Facebook
People can be so disappointing, aren't they? I am so sorry. I went through a similar experience. Someone at my previous job recorded me when I was in the bathroom and that shit spread like wildfire in my town so I understand the feeling of being so violated. This too shall pass. Stay strong and proud!
http://i158.photobucket.com/albums/t...psfhakelns.gif
Re: Outed all over Facebook
Thanks a lot for your advice guys. We are planning to change our band name, and I am going to start contacting lawyers on Monday, hopefully someone can help me. This has been going on for over a month, and I just discovered her newest attack on me about an hour ago: she posted my camming links on the band page of a friend of my husband's. Seems she's not going to stop. I called her mother and let her know what's going on, she didn't seem too impressed but at least now she knows what her daughter is doing. I am basically telling anyone and everyone, so far it isn't having any effect but at least it's something. Now I'm pretty much out to everyone I fucking ever knew in my life.
I know some girls cam with their real names; I wonder how they manage it? Maybe I can just accept that people will just know my real name now? I refuse to stop camming or doing music, so if the information crosses over in that arena, then so be it.
I never imagined anyone could be so horrible, but I guess I shouldn't have been surprised that she would do something like this to me; one of the things that made me back away from her friendship was discovering that she'd run her own boyfriend over with a jet ski, then refused to take him to the hospital because she was "embarrassed" and "afraid she'd get in trouble". And it was a serious accident...by the time he got medical attention, the guy was in and out of the hospital for more than a year, had a couple of surgeries and was really messed up for a while, he could have died. She's got a bad prescription drug addiction so she was most likely intoxicated at the time of the accident. She'd tried to keep that a secret from everyone, but of course it got out because of my blabbermouth ex "friend". I suppose I should feel lucky just having gotten away from these people.
Re: Outed all over Facebook
Wow, what a horrible person, & things she's done! Maybe Melonie can weigh in here..
I am speechless.
Re: Outed all over Facebook
In order to get a fb page banned/ removed is by having many people report it... Even if the page is an obvious abusive page they don't actually check on it until many people flag it..have many people flag it/ report it and it should be taken down pretty fast.. You might have to do this a few times before they actually ban it.
Re: Outed all over Facebook
Cookie, if you can, pm Melonie, she's very intelligent & knows a lot of legal stuff, maybe she can help I don't know if she looks in this section.
Re: Outed all over Facebook
I have been "out" for a long time but I kind of see these types of things as having a silver lining. A good way to find out who your real friends and family worth keeping in touch with really are, and weed out all the people you don't really need in your life anyway.
But then again, I don't give two shits what anyone thinks about me and my job, so that might be easier said than done for a lot of people. Just thought I'd throw it out there anyway. :)
I would just clean up the links on the profiles that you are in control of and maybe set your privacy settings to where you have to approve any and all posts made by people who are not admins of the pages you use. Then, try to move on if you can. I tend to find that the more I act like my job is no big deal (because it's not, to me) the more other people act like it's no big deal.
In terms of a lawyer and all that, I wouldn't really bother. It's going to end up costing you a lot of time and energy, and even if you could find a lawyer willing to take on this type of thing, according to my tort law professor it's pretty difficult to get any kind of award for intentional infliction of emotional distress. You would have to prove that you actually had some type of monetary loss directly due to this persons actions. And maybe you do? I don't know. Best case scenario they would be ordered to stop the behavior. But think about the long, difficult, expensive road it would be to attempt to "lawyer up" and end up with more gained in the end then you would lose in time, money, energy, etc. in the process. And that is just the civil route. You can't even sue someone criminally on your own, it's up to prosecutors to do that and really, they have a lot of other things they would rather go after. I'm not saying your situation is not serious, just that it would likely be incredibly difficult to try and convince the criminal justice system to go after this person.
Re: Outed all over Facebook
Yeah SaraTime, the time and cost of suing her had crossed my mind, and it's really not something I'm looking forward to doing, tbh. I have already told all of my family, my inlaws and my friends, and nobody gives a fuck that I do a naked job, but they do think this bitch who is tormenting me is evil and sick. And maybe the fans of our music won't give a shit that I'm a webcam model...maybe it will make our band more popular? Or maybe it could be dangerous to have camming customers know where I will be performing a music show...I honestly don't know.
I'd really love to hear from girls who webcam under their real name. Maybe that's just what I should do. Anyone have any thoughts?
Re: Outed all over Facebook
Quote:
Originally Posted by
JessaBelle
This is cyber harassment. It is illegal. Not sure what state you're in, but you might take a look at this site to see what the laws are and hire a lawyer. Print out all the facebook pages, etc. Print out your emails from facebook, etc. Make screen shots of the text messages (if you can swipe your phone's screen to take the screen shots, that would be great, and then forward those images to your email so you don't lose them.) I hope the following helps. Check out the links.
http://www.ncsl.org/research/telecom...ment-laws.aspx
Right now, there are a handful of ways victims can address their attackers through the legal system, both civilly and criminally. Unfortunately, many of them are costly and invasive, and combined with a lack of education and precedent, these channels don’t always offer the justice people are seeking. The law is notoriously slow to adapt to technology, but legal scholars say that if done right, the law can be used as a tool to stop this behavior.
When this happens to a victim, they can take their complaint to one of the justice system’s two worlds: criminal or civil. In the civil court, victims of these kinds of cyber attacks, from stalking to revenge porn to online bullying, can sue their harassers through something called tort law, otherwise known as civil wrongs. There, victims can claim the torts of defamation, intentional infliction of emotional distress, harassment, and public disclosure of private fact...
In the world of criminal law, federal cyber-stalking laws, in place since 2011, include language allowing prosecutors to go after people using electronic tools to harass. These laws specifically stipulate that an “interactive computer service” cannot be used to threaten. Citron said approximately half of the states in the U.S. have also updated their laws to allow authorities to press charges against people engaging in cyber stalking and cyber harassment.
(taken from
http://www.theatlantic.com/technolog...ssment/382638/ )
Not sure defamation (or in the case libel) is relevant because the biggest defence for this charge is truth. Yes these pages and comments can potentially ruin your reputation and yes they were communicated to other people; however, the truth is that you are a cam girl. I agree about trying the cyber bullying angle. Then again I only have a few law courses in my arsenal so what do I know certainly talk to an expert.
Re: Outed all over Facebook
Not saying it's necessarily ethical, but there's nothing wrong with, say, writing a notice on your band page (and posting it to the 'fan' page she made) that these accusations came directly from her name here and, while true, she was not given permission to disclose them. I'd go with something like 'that people found out isn't the big deal here. That I am or am not a cammodel isn't the big deal. The big deal is that she has intentionally disclosed information about me to many people without any regard for my feelings or safety. As glad as I am to have received generally positive responses from friends, family, and fans, my use of an anonymous name was to combat potential safety threats at having my name and location so blatantly on display for the general public. It's despicable, wrong, and her less-than-subtle response to my rejection of her romantic advances, problems with her drug use, and attempts to cut her out of my life for her general toxicity. And--hey--you put my shit on the internet, so don't be offended that I'm telling my side of the story love!'
I really love the way the CEO of a porn company fired back at the asshole who outed Belle Knox (the Duke student) with a frankly amazing letter. You can read it here: http://nypost.com/2014/03/07/student...month-on-porn/. The idea is pretty brilliant and, honestly, totally called for in that case. You have the option of going to a lawyer (may not work and will be expensive), letting it blow over (and letting people say whatever they want to), or just grabbing the bull by the horns and hoping the chips fall in your favor. I'd go with the last option, but that's just me.
Re: Outed all over Facebook
Lots of great advice in this thread, wanted to share this article with you OP: http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/09/op...tars.html?_r=0
Also, if lawyers are too costly, I would call (not live chat) with Reputation.com they have two options that might work with what you need:
http://www.reputation.com/special-projects or http://www.reputation.com/personal/executive-privacy
They used to have prices on their site that this was from $3,00 to $5,000 grand, which is probably still cheaper than a lawyer. I wish I would have thought of this earlier today!
Maybe friends and family can help raise the money for it, or you can throw a benefit show even?
Re: Outed all over Facebook
Go post your cam models link in any of the comments that mention you. You will Bank!!
Re: Outed all over Facebook
Wow I am so sorry that person is an absolute piece of trash. I think I may have made the mistake of telling someone I was close to that I cam as well. It was such a mistake I regretted it the next day... >:(
I hope you can take some type of legal action to this abusive stalker <3
Re: Outed all over Facebook
There are NO more secrets in the world, just ask SONY.
It isn't going to be easy mentally, but you got to own it. Being in a band & people knowing your real name as it is now already puts you in the position to be stalked. Especially bigger the band fan base grows. Comes with that territory too.
Once you own it, she NO LONGER has POWER over you. In fact, use it to your advantage to bring in more publicity to the band.
You are a cam girl and a musician, good for you.
Now, don't get me wrong, that guy you told originally, I would ream out and make him feel like the horrible person he is for betraying your trust. Do NOT let him or her destroy your ability to make friends and live life normally.
Get with your bandmates and how it can be used to promote, a scandal drives people to shows. Turning it around to make you a bigger success will piss her off.
OWN It ROCK IT
I think, after you stop feeling a bit ashamed of camming and that others will judge you for it. New friends, new endeavors, bigger success in all areas of life are awaiting you. You a musician, don't watch video? What some of the current pop stars wear, do in those videos is way more shocking to me than what I see cam girls do. SEX sells in music, has for over a century.
Can't undo what she has already done. Just flip the script. I keep telling ya'll are haters are our biggest fans. They watch, keep track, devote every minute of their lives to everything we say, do, wear.
Good Luck,
Sam
Re: Outed all over Facebook
Listen ladies, the world is changing. Your secret of being a cam girl getting out into the world with your real name is NOT a matter of IF, but WHEN.
We are truly living in the information age. But then EVERYBODIES secrets will be out there for the world to see. SONY is just the beginning.
Don't hide from the world, go out make friends. Either your friends will accept it or not, you can't care. If they don't, then WTF are you wasting time in a friendship that doesn't accept ALL Of you?
I have NOT lost a single friend or faced judgement from family members. LOVE is LOVE!
More importantly, why are you feeling shame in a LEGAL job that supports you. That you have the unlimited ability to earn a GREAT living. That shame allows others to judge you, to put you down, to make you a hermit and scared of life. NO way to live, my darlings.
Those people who judge also probably want every salacious detail. They are fascinated. So who he fuck are they to judge. Smile and laugh when your dirty little secret comes out.
Honestly, if you didn't want anyone to know, then it was NEVER the job for you. You are getting NAKED and NAUGHTY for the whole world to see. how the fuck any of you think that could be a secret is beyond me.
Love,
Sam
Re: Outed all over Facebook
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Issabelle
Not saying it's necessarily ethical, but there's nothing wrong with, say, writing a notice on your band page (and posting it to the 'fan' page she made) that these accusations came directly from
her name here and, while true, she was not given permission to disclose them. I'd go with something like 'that people found out isn't the big deal here. That I am or am not a cammodel isn't the big deal. The big deal is that she has intentionally disclosed information about me to many people without any regard for my feelings or safety. As glad as I am to have received generally positive responses from friends, family, and fans, my use of an anonymous name was to combat potential safety threats at having my name and location so blatantly on display for the general public. It's despicable, wrong, and her less-than-subtle response to my rejection of her romantic advances, problems with her drug use, and attempts to cut her out of my life for her general toxicity. And--hey--you put my shit on the internet, so don't be offended that I'm telling my side of the story love!'
I really love the way the CEO of a porn company fired back at the asshole who outed Belle Knox (the Duke student) with a frankly amazing letter. You can read it here:
http://nypost.com/2014/03/07/student...month-on-porn/. The idea is pretty brilliant and, honestly, totally called for in that case. You have the option of going to a lawyer (may not work and will be expensive), letting it blow over (and letting people say whatever they want to), or just grabbing the bull by the horns and hoping the chips fall in your favor. I'd go with the last option, but that's just me.
LMAO Read the article, don't know how i missed it.
See no more secrets. Porn companies are under no legal obligation to keep porn buyers Names or address a secret, just their credit card info.. Many guys think no problem I will just go to a free tubesite, fuck you. Even worse for them, those sites track everything & know exactly who watch their stuff on a regular basis.
Everything on the web is connected. At a drug store yesterday, I bought hair dye. I didn't look it up on the web about which one would work for me best. Today, on my facebook page, ads for hair dye. All the things we buy, what we watch on tv, look at on the web, hell, I've noticed even things I've said on the phone or in a text is marketed to me on Fb and other places.
THERE ARE NO SECRETS!!!!! Fuck, I remember conspiracy theorist friends of mine telling me about all of this 20 yrs ago. I was like, that is possibly true, where as many others thought they were NUTS. NOW, all a fact in our lives.
My Mom, had to get FBI clearance, she let know her daughter did porn. They asked my porn name, when she told it, they were like "Yep, we know her, she is a good one".
Sam
Re: Outed all over Facebook
I totally agree with all the points above. And the OP can turn this around into something more positive.
But even though in the internet world there are 'no secrets' and we are constantly being tracked don't we still have a right to privacy??? Especially when lack of privacy in this industry could lead to problems with our physical and emotional safety???
Plus this psycho chick is going a around using OP's name and likeness without her consent.
IDK, I would kick a$$ and take names if anyone at the club I worked released my personal private data to customers or the public.
Re: Outed all over Facebook
Quote:
Originally Posted by
miss.a.p1600
I totally agree with all the points above. And the OP can turn this around into something more positive.
But even though in the internet world there are 'no secrets' and we are constantly being tracked don't we still have a right to privacy??? Especially when lack of privacy in this industry could lead to problems with our physical and emotional safety???
Plus this psycho chick is going a around using OP's name and likeness without her consent.
IDK, I would kick a$$ and take names if anyone at the club I worked released my personal private data to customers or the public.
Right to privacy, no we don't. She can't sue her for defamation when it is the truth.
In a club, if the cam site released this info then YES, she could, but not that situation here.
She is in fact a cam girl and in a band. Just because before now, she preferred to keep them separate was her prerogative. But it is NOT slander, it is NOT defamation. Can NOT sue the girl over it. Only thing if you try to do is make it even more public and a matter of court record that is PUBLIC.
Just like when one model sued a porn company over the rights of her performer name, then forever her real name is a matter of court record and public for any fan boy to find on the web.
Sam
Re: Outed all over Facebook
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sam38g
Right to privacy, no we don't. She can't sue her for defamation when it is the truth.
In a club, if the cam site released this info then YES, she could, but not that situation here.
She is in fact a cam girl and in a band. Just because before now, she preferred to keep them separate was her prerogative. But it is NOT slander, it is NOT defamation. Can NOT sue the girl over it. Only thing if you try to do is make it even more public and a matter of court record that is PUBLIC.
Just like when one model sued a porn company over the rights of her performer name, then forever her real name is a matter of court record and public for any fan boy to find on the web.
Sam
Yeah I figured it wasn't slander but I did think she might be violating some privacy/safety law.
Well hell, if I adult performers have no right to privacy. And no one has right to privacy then if, OP for example, retaliated and post ol girls address and medication list on her Facebook for the public to see then she wouldn't be breaking any law either- just getting even??? I'm not saying revenge is right I'm just saying, in theory....or I'm just stumped at the laws on Internet and privacy.
Posting her cam link in public without her permission is like posting her address since I'm sure a tech savvy hacker could get her IP address which could then be used to get her real address.
At least the sites that are tracking our actions and collecting our private data are doing just that. They don't share it with 3rd parties or the public and would most likely need consent unless we're breaking a law.
This girl had malicious intent (to cause her emotional distress - or possibly set her up for potential stalkers) when sharing her personal data wight the public.
Well I hope the OP will pull through and make the best of the situation. Best of luck to you girlie
I did find and interesting article about privacy and the Internet http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5378585
What this chick did sounds like 'revenge porn' which in several states is against the law but sounds like an uphill battle to prove this sort of thing.
Re: Outed all over Facebook
I think you'll make $$$ off this stupid twatwaffle. BUT your safety is at stake. She's a total deranged stalker.
Cheaper than a lawyer is DRUGS. Find a way for her to get her hands on the things she loves. Then hope for a meldown or an OD. Just my 2 cents.