For me, it was "Do you have grass under your panties?"
No, sir, I can honestly say there is absolutelyNO grass under my panties.
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For me, it was "Do you have grass under your panties?"
No, sir, I can honestly say there is absolutelyNO grass under my panties.
"Do you like ginger ball hair?"
Um, what? I'm a ginger, and apparently he is too, and for some reason thought that because I am a redhead that I would also prefer to suck balls covered in furry red pubes. o.O
had a dude today who told me he was a playdo-eating robot goat who wanted me to eat my danged rolling papers. lol no dude, but thanks for making me giggle.
"I like bigger girls like u bb". I am 120 and 5'3.... also..."bb y can't u just show me pussy for free!" Oh wait . That's everyday lol.
I once had a guy ask me to pretend I was his wife's sister on a C2C. I wasn't sure who walked through the door but I heard "Oh shit!" in a southern accent. the session was cut off 15 minutes in on a 30 minute block..pretty awkward moment! :rotfl:
Him: I bet you would look good in a fur coat?
Me: Hmmm really? I've always wanted a faux fur
Him: Yea baby you look like a million bucks.
Me: Thanks baby. Did you want to treat yourself in private baby?
Him: Naw u cost too much baby. *leaves the room*
That mofo set me up
Oh and this one. He's been coming around for years with this stuff
"I bet you would laugh so hard if someone sniffed your butthole LOL"
http://i60.tinypic.com/2z5ov3b.jpg
Mad cheesy, yo. And it was grammatically incorrect as well.
Now, I am all for weird roleplays. BUT. A guy today wanted to pretend that he was a bug and that I was going to squish him. I seriously thought I'd heard it all..
I actually get variations of that all the time. They've never specifically regarded themselves as a bug, but I love pretending to squish these weirdos all while making absurd squishy noises!
"Omg it's my Lana Del Rey lookalike''
woah salami nipples yay
'I'm gonna make you cry and all the other guys are gonna see.'
You and what army bro?
Nah, full context of this conversation was basically that I didn't blindly tell him where I live, so he accused me of getting 'smart' with him, then told me he was gonna make me cry as payback. Oh, and that he demanded pussy. So, 'I'm gonna make you cry (because you won't tell me where you live so I can fuck you in real life and don't answer all of my questions like a good little stupid bitch) and all the other guys are gonna see. Also, pussy now.' Shockingly, he did not succeed.
I had a guy today yell at me telling me there is no country named CA (Canada) and I was like well where do you live you don't know the country CA and he's like Alaska and telling me that he knows all the countries and CA is a state lol
I had to laugh because you have to go through Canada to get to Alaska and he was telling me I was dumb for thinking CA was a country lol
Okay head up, this guy was probably mad trolling at first, but turned out to be an alright dude.
Troll: when was ur last pap smear?
Me: Wow, no one surprisingly has asked me that before? 2 months ago, my cervix is A-Okay if your wondering.
Troll: lol
i like a vagina with low ph balance
Me: So you like a bitter cunt? *ba dum tss*
Troll: lol ur crazy
add this woman to ur favs guys she can give u a boner using her mind
i liked ur smile and u reminded me of a toothpaste commercial which reminded me of vaginal health
At this point I am stuck wondering how in the hell those two are relatable.
Me: I like you.
Also I have this one saved in my notes as the best insult someone ever gave me. I don't care if it isn't original. But it was THE BEST INSULT EVER. This was during a girl/girl show.
the blond one looks pretty good, if you could fix that whack job in your hair,,, but that brunette well if I had a dinosaur egg I would sit on it hatch it and raise it, to see it mangle your lifeless and helpless body, while I pleasure myself
And this is a what a SM TV producer said to me after I asked if you can bungee jump off Space Needle:
But no one jumps off it, there's abig net underneath. People used to jump off the Aurora bridge, but they put a fence and nets there too. so we can't commit sucide any longer. We are condemned to live under the shadow of Amazon.
As a born-and-raised PNW lady, I can in fact confirm that this is true. And that they do feel that way about Amazon. And Boeing. And Microsoft. Also, the number of Starbucks in Seattle? Yeah, it's into the hundreds. We're totally fucking trapped. Don't ever live there. lol
One guy come's into chat and say's "You look like you need some love baby?"
Next guy goes "Fuck that you look like you need SOME DICK" and then immediately took me private.
I laughed so damn hard.
Had a goal to get my shirt off in chat, as well as a tip for shots or for a dance… Guy was kept asking for 10% off because he didn't want to get more tokens initially. I laughed and told him I was going to bargain with him. He says, "10 tks, roll up your left sleeve."
His timing was excellent because I almost kicked him, but instead he made me giggle snort. He then went and bought more tokens and tipped away happily.
This is probably not as funny but it got me.