Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
I have been dancing for two years rent/bill free and have always been able to save everything I make to regularly make large purchases. I just moved into an apartment with my boyfriend and we have only payed our first month's rent, but I am already experiencing serious burnout. Dancing is so incredibly draining and discouraging when you are working just to spend $20,000+ a year on bills and rent! How do you ladies stay motivated while so much of your earnings go towards just living?
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
It's called life. Consider yourself lucky to be able to make a living doing this, spend and save wisely.
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
^Yeah… It's pretty normal to have lots of your income in any job go towards just living. Generally dancing offers more discretionary income than the average job though, and if you save and invest some of it, you can set yourself up nicely.
As for staying motivated -- keeping a roof over my head and food in my belly is a pretty motivating reason to go in to work! Beyond that, knowing that I'm saving up for retirement and spending here and there on things that make me happy (good food and travel, mostly) go a long way too.
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
take comfort i knowing that everyone else goes through this and that you will probably spend the rest of your life doing it. i think sometimes it takes going hungry or being homeless to really appreciate being able to have a job that allows you to live nicely and eat. you'll get used to it. or, go work at a crappy job for awhile and you will probably run back to dancing! not trying to be snarky either
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
As long as you are paying no more than 25% of your monthly income in rent you're OK. You'll adjust hon. :hug:
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
Try paying rent on $30 a day and see how you feel.
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
Welcome to adulthood! Sometimes it's awesome, sometimes it fucking sucks. If you are burnt out and want to get motivated, get another job and dance part time around your schedule. You'll probably appreciate how good of a job it is a lot more. And 20k on living expenses is not that much...once you get to ADULT LEVEL 7, there's all this fun stuff like mortgages, car payments, student loan repayments, lines of credit etc to worry about too on top of rent. That said, another part of being an adult is realizing when you really do need a break, just another part of taking care of yourself. Take a day to enjoy the nice spring weather, do something fun with your boyfriend, and resume the grind tomorow. And make sure to work that into your routine. Balance is key. You can do this girl.
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rainbowseven
I have been dancing for two years rent/bill free and have always been able to save everything I make to regularly make large purchases. I just moved into an apartment with my boyfriend and we have only payed our first month's rent, but I am already experiencing serious burnout. Dancing is so incredibly draining and discouraging when you are working just to spend $20,000+ a year on bills and rent! How do you ladies stay motivated while so much of your earnings go towards just living?
I had to admit- this post made me smile so wide, I almost spit out my morning coffee! You will get used to it-the others are right it's just life. I remember when I first started dancing; I was the polar opposite of you, I think. I was living at home when I started. I couldn't wait to move out of my parent's house. I was out of there and into a house with two roomies in less than three months. I felt a big rush of being able to take care of myself, pay my own rent, shop for groceries and put $$ away. It made me feel happy and accomplished.
You will get used to it:)
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
If anything, I'm more motivated to keep working even though I'm starting to burn out, because I have higher rent and bills to pay than ever before. If I had nothing I had to spend that money on, I would quit for 3-4 months and just sit on the few thousand dollars in my account. Rent/bills are the reason most people keep dancing, not get discouraged about it. As others have said - that's just adult life: paying for your own things. You'll get used to it and realize how much harder it is for the people around you making minimum wage and trying to pay those same bills. The disappearing dancing income won't feel quite so draining when you discover how much you actually still have left over compared to all your "vanilla job" friends.
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
Unfortunately that is life. Rent, bills, taxes, etc are all just apart of it. I know it sucks forking over half your money to rent and bills but think of the alternative. It is better than being homeless and depending on your situation it might be better than living with your parents. All of these things are just apart of being independent.
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
GirlDelux
Unfortunately that is life. Rent, bills, taxes, etc are all just apart of it. I know it sucks forking over half your money to rent and bills but think of the alternative. It is better than being homeless and depending on your situation it might be better than living with your parents. All of these things are just apart of being independent.
THIS^^^ So your next step is to see how you can maximize the money you make and the minimize the money you spend. Take a look at your 1 year, 5 year, and 10 year goals. Map out where you want to be financially, personally, etc. Even if you don't get there you will be muh closer than if you just live and pay for today. You'll begin to see your efforts pay off.
Does anyone know if Super Stripper Course still exists?? It seems an appropriate recommendation in this instance.
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
Live frugally! Try to save as much as you can! Invest! Do things you enjoy! And have a backup plan!!
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
I'm just now looking into getting my own apartment, and I feel you! It sucks being an adult and realising that even when you make twice as much as your friends, you still have to pay 20-30% in taxes and another 20-30% on rent! Then there's gas, food, clothing, insurance, phone bills, etc. At the end of the day you end up thinking, "Why am I even working so hard if I only get to spend about 5% of my income on non-essentials?"
For me, it helped to have the perspective of coming from poverty. Even though as a young adult my family could afford to take care of me, I remember being a small child and watching my mom struggle to feed us, much less buy us actual clothing. I remember living with a fireplace instead of a heater. And I know that my mom was working in an office building about 50+ hours a week programming, still a better job than what most people have. Poverty is real, it's scary and it affects about half of the population of the U.S. You may have grown up with the privilege of a comfortable home and family, but never forget how blessed you are to have a roof over your head. This job will give you the opportunity to be a middle-class independent young person, and it will give you the chance to save money if you have the self control. Save, invest, go to college, stay in the middle class or rise above it. Don't get greedy.
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
It's definitely a maturing and growing up process. I remember when I first started dancing I spent my money on whatever I wanted because I wasn't paying rent. Then when I had to pay rent I felt like "what's the point if it's not fun-money?" Now certain circumstances have put me in debt and when I leave work with money I'm excited for what bills it's going to pay for or what debt it'll pay off. It'll come for you eventually lol.
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
Check out "Dollar Den" for strategies for saving and investing your money. It's nice to have all of your earnings go towards fun stuff, but that isn't realistic for most people. Yes, the idea of being tied down by your income is hard to swallow. The realization of "Oh God! Now I HAVE to dance, it isn't a choice any more." is enough to give anyone a case of buyers remorse.
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Nyla19
Live frugally! Try to save as much as you can! Invest! Do things you enjoy! And have a backup plan!!
Yes yes YES!!! When I began dancing ages ago (lol) I learned this first hand by watching another dancer. There was a dancer, lets call her Sassy. Sassy made bank on most nights however she spent just as fast as she made it. Another dancer she knew was telling me how bad her spending was - for instance they would get off work and she would do grocery shopping @ a drug store, spending almost triple what she would spend at a regular grocery store. Did she need it? No. Stuff like that adds up FAST. So a few months later, the club had a new manager come in from out west and he was on a mission. He fired about 35% of the girls, told them to join a gym and come back in a month. Sassy was one of those dancers. So a month later she was back in the dressing room, the manager was making her audition again. She told me she emptied out her bank account to get her gym membership, AND the new dress she was auditioning in. Not smart and wouldn't you know he did NOT hire her back. She cried like a baby in the dressing room. It hurt me so bad to see someone I used to look up to break down like that, however it taught me that being 'stripper rich' does not last forever if you don't save, invest and treat your money with respect. Its so easy to toss 250 on bottle service at a club to look fancy, however if it took you 20 hours as opposed to an hour to earn that 250, you would be more considerate of how you spent it.
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
Okay, I COMPLETELY relate to the OP. Sorry for a long post.
When I first started dancing, my parents were paying for my degree (I feel extremely privileged), so literally every dollar I made in the club was going towards this pile o' money that I was amassing in a giant safe. And it was soooo much fun to work, knowing that everything I was making was mine, mine, mine. I was very smart about saving for my future, thank goodness, but I just loved knowing that all of the work I was putting into dancing was essentially "extra credit" rather than necessary.
I burned out hard, took four years off, and now I'm back in the game. I started dancing again literally just because the thought of working a minimum-wage job (and all of the restrictions and constraints that that sort of job entails) sickened me to no end. I'm working on getting into grad school right now, so between my volunteer positions (important for reference letters) and the time I need to dedicate to self-care/self-growth, my schedule already feels a bit cramped. If I had gotten the part-time job, I'd be working and volunteering six days a week and just barely covering my most basic living expenses. Not fun.
Anyway, so this whole "dancing to pay the bills" thing is fairly new for me, too. And I'll fully admit, it's certainly not as 'fun' to dance when you're thinking about how much money you need to make before x, y, and z bills are paid off. But, to be frank, this is the point at which I had to tell myself to grow the fuck up and get over it. I have two options, really, based on my lifestyle and goals. I can work a part-time shitty job for three days a week making $9.50/hour just to cover my basic living expenses, or I can dance once a week, consistently, and use that money to not only pay my bills but add to my savings account. That's the bottom line.
Because the truth of the matter is that the vast majority of us have to earn a living. There's no getting around that. It isn't optional. You aren't a child anymore. You're going to have to get money from somewhere and use it for your living expenses. Now, you have choices when it comes to how you're earning that money. But unless you've just graduated with a professional degree and are in a start-working-your-way-up-the-ladder situation, your options are pretty limited. You can either pay your bills by working in a near-minimum-wage job, or you can pay your bills by dancing. That's what it comes down to. You have to work. You have to work! So either shit or get off the pot. If dancing is burning you out and / or isn't worth the effort (i.e. if you're consistently pulling $100 for an eight-hour shift or similar), then it might be a good idea to go the minimum-wage route. Or, if you have no real career aspirations and are quickly burning out of dancing, then you should probably be looking into going back to school (whether for a professional degree or a skilled trade license / certification).
TL-DR: There is no "right answer": it really depends on your situation. But for me, personally, it took interviewing for a min-wage job and doing some quick calculations to convince me that, at the end of the day, dancing is my best option right now. If you're in a similar position, then try to change your perspective. It isn't "fuck, that last $100 is all going to my phone bill..." It's, "thank goodness I'm working in a job where I can make $100 in x minutes so that I can be independent and self-sufficient." Or, "wow, I made $x tonight...it would have taken me x hours of working in a grocery store to make that much!" Or, "I'm incredibly lucky to be able to pay my own bills without working 40 hours a week." You get the idea. And don't look at the mountain. Don't think about the $20k you need to make this year to cover living expenses. Take it night by night, work consistently, and make a spreadsheet to calculate what percentage of your nightly income is going towards bills, taxes, fun things, etc. Treat it like what it is: a job. :)
Re: Serious burnout after paying rent for the first time!
Haha @charlie61, I definitely think in terms of hours working at a grocery store! Whenever I start to complain about a slow night I say, "Nope, that would have taken me two 8-hour shifts working my ass off in retail, and I made it in 5 hours." The other night I made $100 and was a little bummed out, and a long-time veteran was in the dressing room with me. She said, "If I make at least $100 I call it a good night. Don't worry about it." I'm pretty sure she often makes 1k in a night due to regulars, so it was really humbling to hear her say that.