It's a multiple times daily sort of question for me... I played along the first few times, but after almost 2 years I can't do it anymore.
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"Is it possible to get out of paying on here?"
''Free preview?''
No, you cheap shit. Do you ask gourmet chefs to give you a free sample before buying the steak?
''Paypal?''
I love this one because I get to play with their heads and make them uncomfortable, before I tell them to fuck off.
''Why didn't you tell me you were trans before I called you bb'' (skyprivate)
Bitch, my profile says cock probably 1000 times. If you wanna be stupid, looks like you get to pay for it.
''Is there a guy in there with you?''
Yeah, because I wouldn't advertise that. God.
"show me something" or "do something" Like okay here, BAN
I used to be ban happy when I first started on sm but I've been letting a lot of things go and it's a bit freeing, lol.
Anyway, my all time ban-tarded lines are...
Our industry is sadly so repetitive that I've named all of the types of BAN guys I get.
The "I'm Cumming" Guy
This guy is always telling you he's about to jiz because he wants a reaction out of you and probably gets off on your aggressively banning the fuck out of him. You have to be slick about it when you ban him so he doesn't finish the rest of his nut. Just do it casually and ruin the hell out of his orgasm!
The "Poo-pee" Guy
This one is obvious; he wants to see you poop and or pee on cam. I usually remind him of TOS and I try and convert him over to squirting, or ass worship instead. If not, then I ban him. You gotta be careful because sometimes they forget they asked you before so they always ask. With them you have to ban them or figure out if they can be won over with other shit. No pun intended!
The "I'm butt hurt because I can't afford you" Guy
"You're hot but I'm never going to pay $x.xx. That's $XXX an hour. Lawyers don't even get paid that much!"
I then remind them that lawyers don't shove dildos in their orifices for money, I do. Then I point out my 5 start ratings and ban them. I mean, if you're not spending $$$ on me, what do you need to ever come in here again for? I'm not sorry you can't afford me. These guys usually leave before you can even ban them. They're cowards so you gotta be quick!
The "It's my birthday, can I have a free flash?/I'm a Veteran but can't prove it" Guy
'Nuff said! GTFOOOO it ain't your birfffday and even if it were, why should I give a fuck? I'm not your mother.
The "I get paid next week, can I get a flash?" Guy
I'm not a ride or die bitch like that. Fuggggg no! If you're in my room and you're broke; you better get the hell on. Bitch I don't get paid in promises and IOUs.
The "Ring Leader" Guy (Put your cam down furttheerrrr bb show teeetttsss!!!!!)
BAN!
The "Racist/sexist/homophobic/Hater" Guy/Girl Like, seriously? Go make your coins booboo, there has to be something else on earth for you to do that would've been more beneficial than looking at my feed and spouting off hate. Cowards.
The "I just posted a fake tip/sent a "giftcard" and want you to do xyz" Guy Oh, this one is slick! He preys on the new girls and sometimes guys us indy girls. Fuckers. Hey, that tip may have been fake but this ban is real! POWNEDDDDD.
And my ALL time favorite: The "Less Than 5 Star Review but I said mmmm ohhhh and jizzed the entire show" Guy Some lower ratings are an accident but I highly doubt ratings between 2-3 are on accident. And it's usually someone who's been in the show for less than 5 minutes. FUCK. YOU. I will give the bene of the doubt (I'll place notes) if its a 4 star because I can try and do some damage repair and ask them what I can do better for future shows. If they come back to my room again and rate the same shit or lower, that's a ban. Why come back if you didn't like the first show? Not much has changed, bro.
Every single reason we ban seems to be based on the selfishness of these little boys. Like, have some fucking respect.
And lowest to me are the pervs that bring up kids, animals, vore, etc. Those get a sledgehammer ban. I feel like when I ban these types AND peepers I get 500xp in some sort of virtual camgirl video game. YEAH BOI!!!
That's all I got for now :/
There s too many to list them all, some are:
"open tits bb"
Or those guys who try calling me on skype before making an effing payment, and they try like 3 times, after 3rd time i click on the beautiful block/ report button lol
" Does your husband know u do this?? he doesn t mind????????????
" how much money u make? do u make a good living doing this????
" Can we do a cam check?" ( I usually say no, but sometimes i let them test it if they are on the ipad, etc " can u show me your bra or tits"???? BAN!
" I cannot pay for a show but i can show u my big cock for free" LOL
" Do u have a dog?? or would u fuck your dog on cam?? ( GTFO of here u sick bastard!)
" U like this cock baby?? mmm I m not sure who should pay who in here" ( u serioussssss fucker????? lol)
" I cannot buy a show but I can do a lapdance on cam for u baby" ( That s that guy " kevin fillers" or something on yahoo, i think he s from NF, very annoying....
and those r the ones i can remember now....
"I don't have any money" "You're too expensive"
Anything eluding to them being broke.
Yeah, I got that the other day at the end of a private after bringing myself to orgasm. I always make a point to butter them up and thank them so they'll come back. But seriously, dude. I can finger myself just fine without you watching. You're just a distraction I have to tune out so I can get paid for it.
Oh yeah the fake tips... just a way to poss cam girls off. Instant ban! Lol
"Change your prices just for me!"
"Describe your show to me."
"I'm just here to chat cause I have no money."
This one boils my blood... but two can play that game. }:D
I normally respond with something along the lines of "Sorry sugar, I can't lower my rate for you... but I'll double it if you ask again."
Otherwise, it's a good ol' fashioned... Attachment 41422
"have no sound can u type"
In this day and age who doesn't have sound on their computer or mobile device? This is so annoying when I'm splitcamming and trying to pay attention to paying customers. I can only think of two reasons men might do this. They expect me to focus entirely on them or they have a wife or gf upstairs and they don't have the balls to tell them they are surfing the internet for porn. Either way the "no sound" crap doesn't fly with me and I don't even bother.
" But there are other girls on here who will do it for free!"
Ugh it makes me so mad! Do they think we are all stupid? I hate them reminding me that all of them try taking advantage of girls and they don't care if they get the poor newbs banned for getting naked in free chat.
For those who ask if I can type I tend to give them the benefit of the doubt. I'll say a few things and let them know that I only type in private chat. I understand that a few guys are hearing impaired and I want them to feel included.
Actually one of my best customers wants me to type. I have no idea why, but he often takes me exclusive, and has no strange ideas whatsoever - plain strip and touch is enough for him, so...typing is OK :)
"Your loss". ARGGGH!
As in:
Cheapass: "Show tits and we go pvt for 20 mins."
Me: "I'm not falling for that, honey."
Cheapass: "Your loss."
I don't know why, but it's the "your loss" that really makes my blood boil.
Ugh one that that really urkes me....
"Are your tits nice?"
Or anything else along those lines.......hmmm noooo there freaking ugly!!!!who would ever say that? Not to mention I have tons of tit pics already in my galleries!!
Yes there fucking gorgeous!!!
But that doesn't matter because your a freeloader so bye.
Then mentioning of anyone's children or children in general...
Fucking gtfo.
I had someone today ask me if I have ever been raped or molested.
Out of curiosity I replied then they starting asking for details....
Safe to say the banhammer was swung!
I blew my load already
I spent my limit already
I'm at work, I can't play
I usually kick. But lately I've been banning. You are no use to me then, goodbye."
How about "Are you any fun in pvt?" or " Are you any good in pvt?" That really pisses me off!.. I do not BAN normally but I refuse to do a show with someone like that.
Ugh today:
"customer" - doesn't pay so can hardly call him that
-Are you okay?
-Fine thanks why?
-No I just mean in general. Why are you doing this?
-Because I make more in two hours on cam than I did working 8 hour days in Television.
-If you're not qualified for anything why can't you at least do bar work. Have self respect.
- YOU'RE THE LOSER PAYING TO BE HERE!!! *ban*
^^ The second part of that was definitely inappropriate, but the first line might just be a translation issue. When Brits and Aussies say "are you ok?" it's the same as an American saying "how are you?" I always have to fight the urge to ask why they think something's wrong with me.
"how smart are you?"