best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
There's a pair of dancers that's seems to be always selling/hustling together. Both very attractive though one I enjoy more than the other. What's the best way to tell them I want to spend time/money on the one and not the friend without coming off rude and her in a potentially awkward situation of abandoning her friend?
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
If you don't like the one girl, you don't like her, for whatever reason. Just be polite but upfront abt it. Say smtg like 'I really like both of you, but I just feel like I have a much better connection w/ [preferred dancer] & so would prefer to just have a VIP w/ [preferred dancer].' Don't waste the 'third wheel's' time during their hustle if you are not interested in her, or if you do have her spend a decent amt of time w/ you w/o any intention of buying from her, compensate her accordingly.
If they are too childish or codependent to work it out between themselves, that's their problem, not yours.
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
You could always throw her a little money like $20 and tell her thanks but you only want her friend. People can accept rejection a lot better with green paper bills attached.
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
If the girls are pros, they will be ok with you wanting dances with just one. Just say something like, "Excuse me while have some private dances with your friend." You don't have to make a big deal out of it. It's possible that they may insist on dancing together. If that's the case, then just find someone else who suits your tastes.
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
If you're not interested in doing dances with the two girls, tell them you're not interested. If this somehow or other upsets the girl you're not interested in, maybe this will get her to stop wasting her, your, and the other dancer's time by being a fifth wheel.
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
Quote:
Originally Posted by
bem401
by being a fifth wheel.
You mean third?
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
Thanks. Next time I'll still be friendly towards both but when we're ready ask the friend that im going to steal the preferred one for a bit. If her friend gets upset she likely wasn't a good friend.
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
^^^ Sorry... "but when we're ready" makes it sound like you're going to waste the third girl's time sitting and talking and then take her friend off and leave her behind with nothing. Why not just go grab the girl you actually like and explain that you want to spend time with her and only her and not waste ANY of the poor friend's time at all?
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
Agreed! Then you are just likely to annoy then. Being upfront and friendly is WAYYY better. I hustle with another girl at work - our loyalty is to each other. Not the customers.
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
It was not my intent to offend. Much thanks for the feedback.
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tookewl
It was not my intent to offend. Much thanks for the feedback.
Much thanks for being understanding. I can think of a few members who would pick fights over what the dancers are saying in this thread, being all 'That's not what I meant' & getting their knickers in a bunch, but you seem to be much more open-minded as well as conscientious here.
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
I think you are overthinking this. In my experience, the dancing duos tend to make the rounds doing the "wanna dance" thing. I almost always say no to all wanna dance-ers. But, if I did really like one of the two, I'd just tell the one I like that I will get a dance from her. I don't feel the need to sugar coat a rejection to a wanna-dancer, since I think that sales technique is rude and annoying. A simple "no thanks" usually works just fine, or "I'm not interested in a double dance, but I'll get a dance from you if you'd like".
I don't know why, but the duos almost always have a hot girl, and a not-so-hot girl.
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
Perfect - direct and polite.
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
IME dancer duos usually come in two flavors: Ya-Ya Sisterhood or Obi Wan/Skywalker. The Ya-Ya Sisterhood is more common IME, with two girls who are close, through friendship, romance or sometimes even blood, working and often traveling together to the club. The Obi Wan/Skywalker type generally involves one older and one younger dancer working together, presumably because they both see some upside in the arrangement.
Nowadays I normally decline the company of duos as I don't enjoy the dynamics in play. But in rare instances when my attention is caught by one girl in a duo, I politely let her know that tag teams aren't really my gig, but that she should feel free to stick around for a bit if she wants. From there, the decision is hers.
Tbh though, separating them can sometimes be even worse, so you may want to be sure that your prospective partner looks comfortable with the notion before you press the matter. About 7 months ago I was moved enough to do this and I quickly regretted it. The girl who I was dealing with became clearly uncomfortable once her crutch disappeared and things went downhill fast, despite the fact that I made every effort to be kind and gracious. There are reasons why these girls pair up and I'm guessing that, at least some of the time, it is because they are not really comfortable operating solo.
Anyway, just my :twocents: and good luck!
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rickdugan
IME dancer duos usually come in two flavors: Ya-Ya Sisterhood or Obi Wan/Skywalker. The Ya-Ya Sisterhood is more common IME, with two girls who are close, through friendship, romance or sometimes even blood, working and often traveling together to the club. The Obi Wan/Skywalker type generally involves one older and one younger dancer working together, presumably because they both see some upside in the arrangement.
Nowadays I normally decline the company of duos as I don't enjoy the dynamics in play. But in rare instances when my attention is caught by one girl in a duo, I politely let her know that tag teams aren't really my gig, but that she should feel free to stick around for a bit if she wants. From there, the decision is hers.
Tbh though, separating them can sometimes be even worse, so you may want to be sure that your prospective partner looks comfortable with the notion before you pres the matter. About 7 months ago I was moved enough to do this and I quickly regretted it. The girl who I was dealing with became clearly uncomfortable once her crutch disappeared and things went downhill fast, despite the fact that I made every effort to be kind and gracious. There are reasons why these girls pair up and I'm guessing that, at least some of the time, it is because they are not really comfortable operating solo.
Anyway, just my :twocents: and good luck!
That is so true. They pair up because they either think or they really do make more money together than alone. Some girls have no hustle, no conversation skills, and rely heavily on the tag team method to make money.
There used to be a duo that worked the club I worked and I mean they somehow were able to get guys to buy dances with both of them about 97% of the time. Once girl was a bit chubby, could tell she didn't workout/eat healthy, and was not that attractive in the face but the advantage she has was she was a [email protected] good hustler - the type that was so cold she could sell ice to an eskimo. The girl she paired up with was slightly more attractive but her hustle game was not up to par so the chubbier one would help her friend hustle and the trade off was she would have a more attractive girl with her to make up for what she lacked in the looks department.
I couldn't understand how so many men would go for both of them but one day I saw the chubbier one walking back from VIP by herself looking kind of pitiful - this means the guy chose to to stay in VIP with the other one but he also ended up paying for at least one dance with the one he didn't want.
Sometimes that duo hustle is strong.
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DesuvsDeath
^^^ Sorry... "but when we're ready" makes it sound like you're going to waste the third girl's time sitting and talking and then take her friend off and leave her behind with nothing. Why not just go grab the girl you actually like and explain that you want to spend time with her and only her and not waste ANY of the poor friend's time at all?
It's not the customer's job to tell the dancers how to run their business. They are adult women, and presumably, capable of making business decisions about how they wish to spend their time at work.
We all would like every customer in the world to just walk in the door, pick their favorite girl and get dances with her right away, then make a hasty exit to make room for the next paying customer, but the world just doesn't work that way.
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
Glad I found this topic! Gameover's comments above are very helpful.
Had this problem on my last club visit. I was with one of my favorite dancers when her friend walked over and joined us. The friend was very aggressive. She was very insistent on doing double dances. The friend was "not-so-hot", at least not my preferred type. I eventually gave in, hoping that after a couple of dances she would move on. Of course, that had the opposite effect and she became very clingy.
I usually have no problem saying "no thanks", but since this girl was a friend of my favorite, I did not speak up to let her know that I prefer a one on one experience.
Lesson learned....from now on I am a one dancer at a time customer.
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
@ above, well, yeah-you got dances from her, in a perfect world, she'd empty your wallet. To answer the question, giving the one you don't want money to use the time to freshen up or sit and wait is ideal. Please, just not a drink and nothing else. Even if it's a club where girls get paid for selling drinks. It's usually a tiny fraction of what it cost. Find me a stripper who'd prefer a drink over the cost and tip you would have given the waitress and I'll eat this computer.
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
I wouldn't spend double the money just to make a dancer feel better or so she can use her friend to get my money for nothing. If either of them is unhappy with it me paying only the dancer I like, she just loses a customer.
I would feel as bad about losing my money as the "third wheel" would feel about me not paying it to her, so her feelings don't come into it.
Re: best way to separate "dancing pair" when only interested in the one
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Tourdefranzia
It's not the customer's job to tell the dancers how to run their business. They are adult women, and presumably, capable of making business decisions about how they wish to spend their time at work.
We all would like every customer in the world to just walk in the door, pick their favorite girl and get dances with her right away, then make a hasty exit to make room for the next paying customer, but the world just doesn't work that way.
Apparently this topic got dragged back up, so I'll go ahead and reply to this since I didn't see it before.
Obviously it isn't the customer's job to tell the girls how to work... but if he doesn't like the other girl, and doesn't want her there... why would he let her sit there and interrupt his one on one time with a girl he does like? No one is telling him he has to take her back to get dances straight away... simply that it would be easier and more efficient for everyone if he just politely and clearly asked for only the one to come and spend time with him alone.