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Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
I have been dancing for about 7 months, hasn't been to long! But I was thinking back to when I first strated....some things I wish someone would have told me... and some ridiculious things done.
Would love to hear everyones personal experiences and thoughts! :)
#1. Glitter is not the best idea!
(not saying this for everyone. just notice i get more dances when i am not wearing any)
#2. There is no correct way to hustle/ask for a dance.
(when i first started i was always trying to mimic how other girls interacted with their customers and memorize phrases to ask for a dance. Over time i learned what comes naturally for you seems to work so much better than trying to copy someone else)
#3. Dont be scared of beiing the new girl!
( i was so nerveous to come off as unexperienced but truth is thats when i made some of my best money!)
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
I've been dancing for 10 years (on and off) and I do my best to help newbies when they start at my club. I tell them:
1)Avoid the drama- the other girls will waste your entire night with BS and do whatever they can to mess with you. Stand up for yourself firmly but without showing anger or weakness, then walk away.
2) DONT GO HOME WITH CUSTIES AND DONT DO EXTRAS. If you want to be an escort, fine- I don't judge. But don't do it in my club- yoi could get arrested, get us shut down, or both.
3) Learn to hustle, get some good dance moves, a few nice outfits, and learn club etiquette.
4) Smile. Have fun. If you're bored, upset, or staring at your phone, you won't do well. Go home and make sure this is what you really want to do.
5) set your boundaries from day one and don't cross them. You have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror.
6) along with no glitter- no lotion!!!! I busted my ass doing a pole trick because of this. Also, glitter rubs off on guys, they don't need their wives seeing that esp if you want them to ever come back!
And most importantly, check this site often. There's so much info and great advice, it can help make your night!
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
Know your worth - time is money and make sure you let customers know your time is valuable and that you will be compensated accordingly, don't give anything away for cheap or free
Beware of predators and extreme perverts
Never be afraid to walk away or say no - no amount of money is worth your sanity or dignity
Have fun and enjoy yourself
Limit your time in the dressing room
Never speak unless spoken to lol! - can't trust none of these hoes and starting a conversation with the wrong person will having you feeling major regret.
Be wise with your money - don't blow it on dumb sh*t, drug habits, lazy dudes
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
AlwaysAutumn
I've been dancing for 10 years (on and off) and I do my best to help newbies when they start at my club. I tell them:
1)Avoid the drama- the other girls will waste your entire night with BS and do whatever they can to mess with you. Stand up for yourself firmly but without showing anger or weakness, then walk away.
2) DONT GO HOME WITH CUSTIES AND DONT DO EXTRAS. If you want to be an escort, fine- I don't judge. But don't do it in my club- yoi could get arrested, get us shut down, or both.
3) Learn to hustle, get some good dance moves, a few nice outfits, and learn club etiquette.
4) Smile. Have fun. If you're bored, upset, or staring at your phone, you won't do well. Go home and make sure this is what you really want to do.
5) set your boundaries from day one and don't cross them. You have to be able to look at yourself in the mirror.
6) along with no glitter- no lotion!!!! I busted my ass doing a pole trick because of this. Also, glitter rubs off on guys, they don't need their wives seeing that esp if you want them to ever come back!
And most importantly, check this site often. There's so much info and great advice, it can help make your night!
This's GOLDEN! Thank you!:)
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
Save $650 on the pole lessons, pole, outfits and just immediately get to WORK ! I could have learned everything as I went but instead had to waste time and money being the most overly prepared stripper ever.
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
- The bullshit nights will come. Even the biggest hustlers who act like they own the club will have $30 nights. Don't let it get to you, chalk it up to bad customers/the weather/sports, ANYTHING but getting down on yourself... because it was probably nothing to do with you. You don't suck!
- Save your $$ for when the bad nights come
- Make a schedule and goals, it will be way easier to end up with something to show for your dancing career than if you just go in when rent is due
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
Know your boundaries and stick with them. This is NOT a job for people pleasing. Have other interests and hobbies. When I first started people on here always said "never push your boundaries, money isn't worth it". I now realize how true that is. It sucks to think about the money you could have made if you just did this or just did that or you don't wanna be mean or cause a scene even though someone has made you uncomfortable... But fuck them and their money. No amount of money is worth the way you'll feel later on. This is something I have strangely been determined to learn the hard way. Not only has it burnt me out from dancing it has made me very very depressed. It's okay to say NO and don't deal with people who do not make you feel good!
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
1.don't go out of your way to offer rides, or make friends or chit chat with the other girls. this isn't a social gathering. this environment is full of backstabbing leeches just waiting to take advantage of any hint of weakness, a lot of these assholes are just looking for chinks in your armor. stop spending so much time in the dressing room and go out and make money. fuck the drama.
2. stop being timid and sitting on your butt waiting for customers to come to you. TELL the customer they are getting a dance, go out and get your money. ask for tips. stop sitting and letting customers take up an hour of your time for one or two dances. know that you and your time are worth it.
3. you don't need to spend all this money on designer perfumes, VS bras, MAC lipsticks, 5 dollar fake eyelashes..these guys can't tell the difference between dollar store lip gloss and 25 dollar lipgloss. save your money instead of blowing it on stupid labels and then justifying it as "oh i need this $50 eyeliner for work, i can't make money without it!" you know better. the dollar store sells $1 eyelashes that will make your eyes look just as flirty.
4. ALWAYS smile on stage and on the floor.
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
Everything above plus....
Part of your job is to get rejected. Some guys come to a club for the unique ability to say no to a beautiful woman's advances.
Talk to EVERYONE. At least say hi and introduce yourself. You don't want someone feeling ignored, many guys who come in are pathetically lonely even if they don't act it.
Don't spend time in the dressing room. The less and less time I spent in the dressing room the more money I got (and not just because time is money). It got to the point to where I'd just change n the public bathroom, run into the dressing room, and throw my stuff in a locker and run out. Dressing rooms are fun as hell and I haunted them for years but they can also drag you the fuck down and screw with your mood and good vibe. When one chick comes in bitching and moaning abut how there's no money it can really mess with your head.
Men of all ages have hearts. I know its all hustle hustle hustle but men can and do begin to fall in love with you (why wouldn't they?) You can't ignore this reality, and you shouldn't be cruel about it.
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
1. Hustle by yourself!! ANYONE can be an extras girl, including the dancers who are your besties in the dressing room. The worst time to find this out is after you've already booked the hour CR and she starts trying to undo the guy's pants. :crazy:
2. If you're the type of person who is polite to a fault and/or always worried about hurting someone's feelings, get over it. FAST.
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Natalya
Everything above plus....
Part of your job is to get rejected. Some guys come to a club for the unique ability to say no to a beautiful woman's advances.
Talk to EVERYONE. At least say hi and introduce yourself. You don't want someone feeling ignored, many guys who come in are pathetically lonely even if they don't act it.
Don't spend time in the dressing room. The less and less time I spent in the dressing room the more money I got (and not just because time is money). It got to the point to where I'd just change n the public bathroom, run into the dressing room, and throw my stuff in a locker and run out. Dressing rooms are fun as hell and I haunted them for years but they can also drag you the fuck down and screw with your mood and good vibe. When one chick comes in bitching and moaning abut how there's no money it can really mess with your head.
Men of all ages have hearts. I know its all hustle hustle hustle but men can and do begin to fall in love with you (why wouldn't they?) You can't ignore this reality, and you shouldn't be cruel about it.
I would make this a siggy for awhile if it weren't too long; Its good to read a compassionate post on here- it can be easy to forget the gentle side when mostly we come here to vent about the assholes.
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
^^ Yes, these are things I try to keep on my mind. When a girl comes into a club she is looking for money. Cold, hard, uncompromising Money. When a man wanders into a club he is looking for very important things he is not getting in his real life....sexual arousal, feeling wanted, feeling attractive, conversation with a beautiful unattainable woman, a way to escape a horrible soul crushing job, a way to escape a horrible wife (mean/fat/ugly/demeaning), a way to escape crushing loneliness, a way to feel young again-just for a few hours, a way to forget about horrible health issues (lots of men are sick), a way to feel alive again, a place where he can act like a man by supporting women financially...etc...etc. These men are willing to pay good money for this experience...and some men have far less money than they let on.
As pathetic as it is to us, a strip club is the only choice these men have. This puts dancers in a position of greater power than they realize. There is nothing degrading about being a dancer. Its so very empowering. We have so many things that men want and need. Yes, they have something we want and need- money. But we can get money in a multitude of ways (vanilla jobs) and as much as that sucks balls we can do that. We are doing men a true service and improving their shitty lives.
However, these men can fall in love with you. I've learned the hard way that breaking a few nice men's hearts (by using men, lying to men, and leading on men) made me feel shittier than any other aspect of being a stripper. I'm not trying to say you can't ride an asshole for cash, fuck em, but most men aren't assholes, it just seems that way because they're so miserable and stressed out.
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
I second the don't let a dude cross your boundaries. When I first started, I let things slide because I thought that was the only way that he would stay in VIP. Nowadays, I don't have time to deal with that bullshit. If someone is being too handsy, I don't want his money. Not worth my sanity.
LOL at the comment above about not spending money on expensive makeup and outfits. IT IS SO TRUE. Guys DON'T know the difference between the expensive lipgloss / outfits and their el cheapo versions. I've made the most money from my cheapest bra and g string. Guys really don't care.
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
Best advice I've ever received as a newb was to buy my outfits at Walmart
Just because you start at a club doesn't mean you have to stay there
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
Only talk to guys you actually want to/ enjoy dancing for. There's no rule that you have to talk to EVERY customer. Sometimes the money just isn't worth it. I wish I had known that early on in my career. I could have avoided a lot of fucked up situations that left me crying in the dressing room after a particularly negative encounter.
Having said that...Don't be afraid to step out of your comfort zone. Try new things, work at new clubs, travel, participate in contests, work different shifts, etc.
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
1. Guys prey on new girls and will always try you the most if they think your a new dancer
2. Pole dancing only makes a difference at urban clubs
3. Don't follow the lead of dancers who barely got their life together
4. Don't be too friendly. The same bitches who smile in your face, are talking about you in another language
I beg to differ on the glitter. I experimented on this 3 times to be sure but I make more when I'm wearing glitter. Its just all about being a little light handed.
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
1. There are evil men out there who prey on new or inexperienced girls, telling them things like: "All the other girls let me do such and such/ I know the owner/ I won't tell/ I paid x amount of money/ You made it seem like you were going to do this and that, and that's the only reason why I did this VIP." I've been there, I let things slide in the beginning because I felt guilty/obligated for some reason. DO NOT LET CUSTOMERS TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOU. These ladies above have said the same thing, and I'm repeating it because truer words have never been stated: KNOW. YOUR. WORTH. KNOW. YOUR. BOUNDARIES. And NEVER, EVER, compromise. No amount of money is worth it, seriously.
2. Not everyone will like you (applies to both customers and fellow dancers). Get over it. It's easier said than done for some people (like myself), but I've learned the hard way that you just can't give a crap about what anyone thinks about you. Tell yourself every night before you go in that you are there to make money. That is it. You are there to make your money and leave. Over time, yes, you will make a few dancing friends, but that shouldn't be a priority. Respect your fellow dancers and customers, but money is the only thing that needs to be on your mind for the 4-12 hours that you're working.
3. Approach EVERYONE. EH-VER-EE-ONE.
4. Smile and be positive. No one likes a girl with RBF or a Negative Nancy. Even if you're working on a Monday day shift and there's no one in the club yet, think about how much money you're going to possibly make (it only takes one person to make your day/night) and how lucky you are to be able to dance to make a living, while there are people who can't do this for a multitude of reasons (health or religious beliefs, for example) and are in debt up to their ears with no escape. You will have bad nights, but try to make up for your bad night another night. :)
5. Make a schedule of all the days/nights you're going to work and actually stick to these shifts. Pay off your debts quickly and SAVE.
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
This's a great thread! :)
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
A friend gave me a tip; rather than approach everyone. Approach 10 guys in the next hour until I get a dance. This was super helpful when I first started.
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
AlwaysAutumn
And most importantly, check this site often. There's so much info and great advice, it can help make your night!
THIS! ^^^^^ There's always great new stuff being shared.
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Flickdreams
A friend gave me a tip; rather than approach everyone. Approach 10 guys in the next hour until I get a dance. This was super helpful when I first started.
On tough nights I like to play a game an old poster used to play called Collect Nos. I will go from guy to guy and instead of trying to sell him, see if I collect a "No". It loosens you up and makes approaching new guys fun because you're playing this secret game and their resistance makes you laugh instead of get tight, angry, anxious, etc. It always gets me to a "Yes" faster.
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Optimist
On tough nights I like to play a game an old poster used to play called Collect Nos. I will go from guy to guy and instead of trying to sell him, see if I collect a "No". It loosens you up and makes approaching new guys fun because you're playing this secret game and their resistance makes you laugh instead of get tight, angry, anxious, etc. It always gets me to a "Yes" faster.
I find when I play "collect Nos" (subconsciously like if I'm not feeling great and really don't feel like being there or I'm just quickly making a round so I can go back in the DR and smoke) I always get more dances because I just don't care. I remember last week we HAD to ask people during the 2-for-1 special and I go up to this guy "you want the 2-for-1?" He's like "hmmm i don't know.." "OK bye" "WAIT WAIT COME BACK LET'S GO!" haha
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
I wish I had known that TIME IS MONEY while dancing and not wasted time with so many time-wasters during my first 6months/year or whatever it was.
I also wish I knew how much money I'd actually make (before dancing I set my stripping goal at $400 per night and I make way more now), and thus I wish I had known how to save better and how to generally manage money better, which I am finally really grasping after four years in the biz.
I wish I'd known how fast time would fly.
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Optimist
On tough nights I like to play a game an old poster used to play called Collect Nos. I will go from guy to guy and instead of trying to sell him, see if I collect a "No". It loosens you up and makes approaching new guys fun because you're playing this secret game and their resistance makes you laugh instead of get tight, angry, anxious, etc. It always gets me to a "Yes" faster.
I'm going to do this more often!
When I stop caring so much I always seem to get dances too! Champagne rooms as well!
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Re: Things I wish I knew when I first started dancing!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
miss.a.p1600
Never be afraid to walk away or say no - no amount of money is worth your sanity or dignity
THIS^
I was so used to working customer service jobs with "the customer is always right" mentalities. I look back at my newbie self and just the thought of how much BS I suffered thru the first year or so just infuriates me.