Re: Judge berates/sentences domestic victim
What the court was excessive and cruel, the judge could have ordered a mental health assessment or something.
Still victims getting sentence is common when it comes to malw victims, that doesn't mean this poor lady doesn't deserve our compassion, she absolutely does, just making this point to show how broken the system is and that this is the tip of the ice berg.
Re: Judge berates/sentences domestic victim
I understand the frustration that the guy basically got off free because of her refusal to cooperate, but the harshness doesn't take into account what a victim of domestic violence is going through. It most likely was not JUST about depression and anxiety. She could have feared for her life even more if she thought she might show up, testify, and he'd still not be sentenced. She could have been facing criticism from her friends, family, and/or community. While it might be obvious to us that the guy is a scumbag, that's not to say that most of the people around her thought he was a great guy and went to her telling her that she was just "overreacting" or they didn't believe her or asking what she DID to make him angry, and she faces ostracism if she puts him away in prison. She could have regretted calling the police shortly after it happened - I've counseled a woman like this in the immediate aftermath of ending up in a hospital. There are victims who call the police in the middle of a fight and then fight against the officers when they arrive and try to arrest the abuser. Domestic violence does something to the victims, beyond typical anxiety and depression. And very few people who even get to the point of needing to call the cops the first time are ready to actually take things to the extreme of locking up their abuser.
Telling her that if he goes on to abuse again, it's her fault, is just one more form of victim-blaming. Again, I understand the frustration at the justice system's inability to do anything without her full cooperation, but when a victim psychologically can't deal with it - they can't. All I see resulting from this is that she will for sure not call for help in the future because she won't want to go through all of this again.
Domestic violence is very frustrating for everyone involved. I completely understand, first-hand, the frustration of law enforcement, the justice system, and the people working to end domestic violence, when a victim isn't there yet and shit keeps on happening and keeps on happening. But the victim is the one bearing the brunt of the problem and all the consequences of their actions, which can be disheartening, dire, and depressing even if they stand up against their abuser. Taking someone to court is not the end of the story - the victims are still thinking about what could happen to them next. And sometimes the crazy they've come to know seems easier to manage and much more appealing than the shitstorm of community ostracism, being broke and homeless, and possible harsher future violence if they try to end things. It's important to remember that a lot of victims truly believe that they are the problem, and that if they just "don't rock the boat," things will get better. Might sound stupid to us, but it's not to them.
Treating someone who is not only psychologically damaged, but deeply entrenched in "survival mode," as though they are the bad guy isn't going to help anything. Even if it gets to this point next time, she's not to cooperate out of pure negative reinforcement to being throw in jail for 3 days when the alternative might be fearing for her life and well-being outside of jail.
Re: Judge berates/sentences domestic victim
Very well said, Aurora! You gave some excellent insight.
Re: Judge berates/sentences domestic victim
Yes you have to ask yourself is the approach the judge takes going to get the results the judge wants and is its not.
Re: Judge berates/sentences domestic victim
Quote:
Originally Posted by
rickdugan
Idk. I understand the sympathy for her, but anxiety and depression aren't excuses to blow off a subpeona issued by a court . By pulling that stunt, she made sure that the abuser only got 16 days in jail and will soon be free to do it again to her or someone else.
I completely agree with you. You have to taste yourself and make it better so that you don't do anything.
Re: Judge berates/sentences domestic victim
Clicked on the link and Couldn’t see the link.
My best friend whose husband put her in the hospital was told by the judge that her husband was within his right to get wayward wife in her place. The Patriarchy is alive and well.
The white male system created the legal system, so even though we think of it as being equal it's innately patriarchal.
Re: Judge berates/sentences domestic victim
Quote:
Originally Posted by
moneybags
Clicked on the link and Couldn’t see the link.
My best friend whose husband put her in the hospital was told by the judge that her husband was within his right to get wayward wife in her place. The Patriarchy is alive and well.
The white male system created the legal system, so even though we think of it as being equal it's innately patriarchal.
I agree with this.
Millenials and X Ennials of the world, don't marry unless you are well informed of your rights under the law as a married person in your country of origin. Trust me on this, shacking up often affords you more rights and freedom should you break up with your partner versus a marriage certificate. This goes for LGBT and trans people too.