Guys that say this.......
What would you say to guys that use this line "no I'm not buying dances now but when I do, I'll come find you"?
I feel like this is disrespectful and the more I hear it the harder it is to ignore. It's rude to me when they say this cause number 1 it's a lie and number 2 it's like they're trying to be the ones in control and doing the rejecting
i hear guys say this as I'm exiting their table cause I've determined they are not spending and I don't want to waste my time. As a way to excuse myself from leaving abruptly, I tell them I'm going to walk around or go to the ladies room (which is true and tactful) but then they'll come back with this corny line "oh I'll find you"
its rare are that guys seek me out for a dance and when they do they don't say that.
I want to say no just go f*ck off but I am wondering want is a good response to these guys who say this? Or should I just continue to ignore when they say this?
Re: Guys that say this.......
just in case they do want to wait for a dance, i will always remain cordial. i'll go "ok, great, i'll check back with you in a bit" with a smile a. then i check back with them in a bit if i'm not doing dances with anybody else. some of them actually do want to settle in before buying dances, while with others its just a polite brush-off..but i always check back and remind them with "you look ready for your dance now"
Re: Guys that say this.......
Yeah but wouldn't they say "not right now I'm trying to settle in"? The whole "I'll find you" bit to me is like saying don't ask me I'll ask you but they know good and [email protected] well they're not going to get out their seat and find me in the club to buy a dance.
the guys who say "maybe later, I just got here" I always go and ask them later. And guess what. They're still with the sh*t and say "oh I need another 20 min" so it's basically a lie that freeloaders like to say. Maybe 3% of customers that say not right now will buy a dance when I ask them later.
I can't help but interpret it as a disrespectful lie/blow off.
I get the club is not the place to expect honesty but I'm feeling like why be rude and disrespectful when I haven't done that to you.
Re: Guys that say this.......
No you're right, it is an excuse. It is disrespectful because they've probably wasted your time chatting, knowing damn well they aren't buying.
I've also lost patience for it. I know there's a 1% chance of them buying a dance so I've taken to rolling my eyes and going "Ohhhhhhkay whatever you say".
Re: Guys that say this.......
Quote:
Originally Posted by
miss.a.p1600
Yeah but wouldn't they say "not right now I'm trying to settle in"? The whole "I'll find you" bit to me is like saying don't ask me I'll ask you but they know good and
[email protected] well they're not going to get out their seat and find me in the club to buy a dance.
the guys who say "maybe later, I just got here" I always go and ask them later. And guess what. They're still with the sh*t and say "oh I need another 20 min" so it's basically a lie that freeloaders like to say. Maybe 3% of customers that say not right now will buy a dance when I ask them later.
I can't help but interpret it as a disrespectful lie/blow off.
I get the club is not the place to expect honesty but I'm feeling like why be rude and disrespectful when I haven't done that to you.
they probably think its "polite" and are too chicken to actually say "no thanks i dont want a dance from you" if its a blow off. but honestly, aside from going back and basically calling their bluff and guilting/bullying them into getting the dance there's nothing you can really do except move on and ignore them
Re: Guys that say this.......
Well I'm going to say something like "no thanks, don't try to find me cause I'll be busy/on to greener pastures/in vip with my regular in 20min"
I won't bully them into giving me money but these F*ckers gone learn .... a simple no thanks will do, otherwise I'm going to get really b*tchy right back.
Re: Guys that say this.......
I usually tell them I'm going to be busy later. Because most of the time I actually do get busy and totally forget about them after I leave their table. Sometimes at the end of the night I remember the customers who said 'come back later' or 'i'll come find you' and wonder if they saw me get really busy and wish they had gotten one when i asked. But I'm guessing half the time it's just their way of turning me down because they're too cheap or just not interested.
Re: Guys that say this.......
I am 100% in favor of dancers telling off customers, but I personally don't like to burn bridges even when they're obviously full of shit because I'm greedy and I never know who is going to tip me on stage or will have $50 left to spend at closing. That said, sometimes I do get this line. I think it's about equally split between the spineless liars and the ones who do legitimately intend to get a dance from you later on.
You might find it both cathartic and effective to smile, hairflip, and say something like, "Okaaaay, but I tend to get booked in VIP for hours, I hope I'm not too busy by the time you're ready!" and then prance away. That way they're slightly more motivated to spend and you get to tell them that YOU are the boss.
Re: Guys that say this.......
Quote:
Originally Posted by
kaninchen
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You might find it both cathartic and effective to smile, hairflip, and say something like, "Okaaaay, but I tend to get booked in VIP for hours, I hope I'm not too busy by the time you're ready!" and then prance away. That way they're slightly more motivated to spend and you get to tell them that YOU are the boss.
^This works. It does help you feel like you have taken the power back and turned the tables on them in a sense. It also helps them to remember that they are at a SC, not a bar and that we are working, busy and in demand (it also shows them that we are relatively unfazed by their little "games". Some customers mean to offend and others who pull this are just clueless, inexperienced and usually end up doing dances eventually).
Re: Guys that say this.......
maby they say like that caz they afraid seem being rude. a lot guys afraid to say no. but yeah that response is bs
Re: Guys that say this.......
If they say later or not now I will whisper in their ear in a naughty voice "right now no one is back there meaning we can get privacy and if we can get privacy we can have a lot of fun...later there will be a lot of people back there that's no fun."
You'd be surprised how many times that makes them change their minds. And I don't do anything extra, but if you make it sound that way they instantly change their mind a lot.
Re: Guys that say this.......
A lot of guys are too chicken to say outright that they aren't interested but maybe sometimes they really just want to settle in. I read the situation because normally you can tell if they are bluffing. Mostly I will just say "OK no problem, I do get really busy so if I have a minute to spare later I will find you, otherwise you can ask management to call me when you are ready" *eyecontact, smile, hairflip, walk away like a boss*
Re: Guys that say this.......
I think that catlover's answer is pretty awesome. In my experience, about 65-70% of the time they are just brushing you off. I am not sure why you would find it "disrespectful" that he is trying to reject you without hurting your feelings. If a man politely chatted you up and then asked for your phone number, or if you would like to stay and have a coffee with him in line at Starbucks, but you were not interested would you smile and say something like "Thanks, but I have a boyfriend" or flat out "Um, no. You'e not my type?". Give the guys a little credit; we are not at war with the customers!
The other 35% of the time they legitimately just got there, are waiting for another dancer/ to see who else is there before deciding who to spend their money on or may need a drink or two to loosen up. Depending on the size of your club if you do re-approach you may not even need to go back to the table and ask again. Stand close enough and use visual cues to ask again. If he obliges and comes to you you have certainly regained control.
Re: Guys that say this.......
^ I find it disrespectful when it's coming from guys who are regular club-goers and know how it works... They know if they invite us to sit, we're going to ask for a dance. They know they are wasting my time since they know they aren't intending to get a dance from me.
If the guy is new to clubs, ok sure he may think it's fine to just chat even if he's not interested in a dance. I'll cut them some slack.
Re: Guys that say this.......
Well gia, I find the phrase "I'll come find you for a dance" disrespectful cause the guy knows he's not really going get out of his seat to find me for a dance. It's a blatant lie and it gives the message of false hope.
I get it though cause like you said I lie and tell guys I'm not interested in that I have a husband. I would tell them the truth or say no thanks but some guys get verbally aggressive (or worse) when they feel like they've been rejected. I like to reject respectfully and I don't want to lie in a way that would give false hope.
Re: Guys that say this.......
Dont bother with these assholes! I'd be like, "Haha, good luck trying to find me! I'm a busy girl and I dont have time to wait around for people". Sometimes this actually works for me, because they see that I'm not a pushover and are turned on by my ballsy-ness. If they get offended, I really dont care. One less time waster for me.