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To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
I have a lot of emotions going on right now and a lot to say but I'll try to condense.
So last year me and my military bf were about to get married (thank god we didnt), and I quit dancing for him which was one of my few regrets in life. I also quit bc of the constant pestering and headache my mom was giving me for it (she actually called my club and constantly threatened to come up there when I least expect it) she thought I was waitressing.
So when I was with my bf him and his mom basically gave me a joint ultimatum lmao, leave the club and get in school or its over. It was so much stress and I just couldn't handle it. Every convo turned into a lecture or yelling match. And my mom got family involved and aired my business on Facebook about her disappointment and lost my bff, etc whatever the usual. Anyway now that I gave up and gave in, I'm signed up for school where my brother is at and my mom couldn't be happier, (so I cut 80% of my hair off and got a belly piercing, I can't let her think she has too much control lol she freaked) but she likes the fact that I'll be under my brothers eye I think. This school sucks, anything but a Walmart is an hour away. Almost like she's sending me away on an island so I don't get in any "trouble" and I'm 21.
Anyway to make myself feel better I've been writing the pros of going away since I felt I have no choice: time to work out before going back, possibly meet some friends not a priority though, aid refund money if my mom doesn't take it. That's it :/
I'm just not a school person, I want to start my own business. But the thing is now, I go back to school in about 10 days, I still have time to pull out but it'll cause a a lottttt of friction. I'll probably get kicked out and hope my sister can take me in. I know I'll be miserable at school, but it is a facade to my family to look like I'm going along with their program for a while and get them off my back. I'm trying to live unapologetically in 2k16, but I know if I did I'd most likely isolate myself from my family besides my lovely sis.
So what should I do? Go along with the bull for some months and focus on working out, or say fuck it and upset and estrange family once again and catch hell from them? I also feel bad about pulling out now bc, if you ever signed up for school you know how much hoops they make you jump through and I believe my mom uses it for tax write offs.
I'd rather take online classes and dance, but I must dance lol and if I have an I.t. associates (what I'm going for) I think I'd focus more on building that career up instead of focusing on dancing too much, which is not what i wanna do, dancing is calling me right now.
I'm sorry I hope some of this is making sense and not just word vomit, I'm incredibly stressed right now trying to people please and its showing on my skin and such *sighhh*
Eta: my then bf was the main reason I quit and signed up for school in the first place
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
You could just eventually move out.. You won't have much privacy living at home with family, obviously. (Best to just avoid family and FB altogether)
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Quote:
Originally Posted by
BambiCutie
You could just eventually move out.. You won't have much privacy living at home with family, obviously.
I can't afford to move out right now but that is the goal.
And it's harder now to get back to it bc I live with my grandparents and they were oblivious for a while, but now my mom and brother are living here too now, and they're not stupid lol. It's sad I have to sneak at 21 I know
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
You might see if school has a work-study program. It's essentially a program where the school uses some of its dog-eared funds to pay some (half or nearly all) of your hourly wage for you to work at the school while going to school. For a program like I.T. Associates, you might work campus computer tech support, work in the A/V dept running equipment from room to room, work in one of the computer labs, or work for main campus I.T.. It varies. Departments like this arrangement because your most of your "wages" won't come out of "their" budget. I did this when I worked in one of the engineering R&D labs as a lab tech. Usually the requirement for a work-study program is family financial need. Given that your mom is leaving with your grandmother, you might qualify in that case, but I don't know your exact finances or what your school offers. That might be one option that is better than walmart. In my case I started at $5.60 (when minimum wage was 4.25) and ended up at 8.75 (most of the time I was at 7.75 or 8.00). Plus I had a 1 minute commute from class to work. ;)
I'd only go to school if you really want to be there and if your really want the I.T. associates degree. Otherwise, take whatever job you can. Work two jobs if you have to. You'll probably want the second job (for now) anyway just to avoid your family if you are all living together at Grandma's house. Save your money in the bank. Then when the time is right, or when you've finally had enough, look for a someone renting who wants a roommate, and move out. I used to often take in girls in predicaments like yours (as a 3rd roommate) and either let them sleep on their own air mattress or a spare couch (for a little money in rent / not much money) assuming they were quiet and respectful. So there are always options.
Once you are out on your own you can start dancing again. If that is what you want and it sounds like it is.
Good luck!
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Dominic.2
You might see if school has a work-study program. It's essentially a program where the school uses some of its dog-eared funds to pay some (half or nearly all) of your hourly wage for you to work at the school while going to school. For a program like I.T. Associates, you might work campus computer tech support, work in the A/V dept running equipment from room to room, work in one of the computer labs, or work for main campus I.T.. It varies. Departments like this arrangement because your most of your "wages" won't come out of "their" budget. I did this when I worked in one of the engineering R&D labs as a lab tech. Usually the requirement for a work-study program is family financial need. Given that your mom is leaving with your grandmother, you might qualify in that case, but I don't know your exact finances or what your school offers. That might be one option that is better than walmart. In my case I started at $5.60 (when minimum wage was 4.25) and ended up at 8.75 (most of the time I was at 7.75 or 8.00). Plus I had a 1 minute commute from class to work. ;)
I'd only go to school if you really want to be there and if your really want the I.T. associates degree. Otherwise, take whatever job you can. Work two jobs if you have to. You'll probably want the second job (for now) anyway just to avoid your family if you are all living together at Grandma's house. Save your money in the bank. Then when the time is right, or when you've finally had enough, look for a someone renting who wants a roommate, and move out. I used to often take in girls in predicaments like yours (as a 3rd roommate) and either let them sleep on their own air mattress or a spare couch (for a little money in rent / not much money) assuming they were quiet and respectful. So there are always options.
Once you are out on your own you can start dancing again. If that is what you want and it sounds like it is.
Good luck!
Work two jobs while going to school..yikes. I know I couldn't handle that lol plus I only plan on being up here a semester.
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Ok, so a few questions..do you have your own car, is it in decent shape? How much weight do you have to lose before you go back? Are they making you take out loans in your own name?
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
No, I meant 2 jobs only if you *don't* go to school. If you want to work while at school, I like the work study program (since scheduling is often pretty flexible and you can squeeze in more time during what could normally be un-productive time (like commuting/parking to/from a job and school or a small block of time between classes, etc.). Once you are out on your own (school or no school) you can more easily start dancing again, if you want. With work study, I could work 8-12 (or even 8-20) hours per week, go to school full time, plus have my nights and weekends free. That's why I liked it so much.
Also some temp agencies will hire/place people in I.T. associates programs with temporary assignment jobs, while in school. I worked with at least one temp who was a waiter at a hotel restaurant and worked for me while he finished his last semester of his I.T. associates degree. Fortunately, the restaurant was accommodating of his schedule, but, he and I are near a large metropolitan area, so that helps.
I mention the jobs because people hiring always prefer (Still prefer) candidates with experience and many (sadly and unfortunately) assume you will get this while in school. Although right now, it is more of a candidates' market, so even without experience, you are still OK right now.
All of that may be moot if you want to go back to dancing. Because quite frankly, none of these jobs pay as well as dancing or for as little hours. That's why I mentioned finding a renter looking for a roommate so you can fasttrack outta there. :D But for that, you probably need a reliable car, like Simone mentions.
How strongly do you want to work in I.T.? Did you pick this field or did your (former) boyfriend or you family pick this for you? Or all things considered, would you rather return to dancing? Or do both?
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Quote:
Originally Posted by
simone87
Ok, so a few questions..do you have your own car, is it in decent shape? How much weight do you have to lose before you go back? Are they making you take out loans in your own name?
No I don't even have my license yet, I have a permit but haven't been able to get enough practice where I feel comfortable to take the road test :/
I don't necessarily have to lose weight I just want to tone up and get some stamina.
Yeah, I had to take out about 2k in loans.
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
I think it is best for you to pull out of school before you even begin, because then you get all your refund money (or your mom if she's paying for it, in which case she would not lose anything). You said your not a school person and the school you'd be going to sucks. I can guarantee that once you start there you are going to be miserable and going crazy in a middle of nowhere type of town. And if you withdraw after the semester begins, it will just create more stress and problems for you. You will likely owe that money back and put your mom in debt which will create more friction for you and your family. So why waste time and money for something you are not passionate about??! It is your life and you are only young once. Enjoy being 21 and work on gaining your independence. If I were you I would call your sister to make sure you can live with her or try to secure a place to live elsewhere, and then drop your classes as soon as you know you'll have a place to stay. You can go back to dancing or you can work on finding a real job to save money to eventually get a place of your own. Don't worry about your parents or your ex bf, they need to learn that it is not okay to control your life, you are too old for that!! You need to take control back, and make people respect your choices and your boundaries. Good luck!!
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Dominic.2
No, I meant 2 jobs only if you *don't* go to school. If you want to work while at school, I like the work study program (since scheduling is often pretty flexible and you can squeeze in more time during what could normally be un-productive time (like commuting/parking to/from a job and school or a small block of time between classes, etc.). Once you are out on your own (school or no school) you can more easily start dancing again, if you want. With work study, I could work 8-12 (or even 8-20) hours per week, go to school full time, plus have my nights and weekends free. That's why I liked it so much.
Also some temp agencies will hire/place people in I.T. associates programs with temporary assignment jobs, while in school. I worked with at least one temp who was a waiter at a hotel restaurant and worked for me while he finished his last semester of his I.T. associates degree. Fortunately, the restaurant was accommodating of his schedule, but, he and I are near a large metropolitan area, so that helps.
I mention the jobs because people hiring always prefer (Still prefer) candidates with experience and many (sadly and unfortunately) assume you will get this while in school. Although right now, it is more of a candidates' market, so even without experience, you are still OK right now.
All of that may be moot if you want to go back to dancing. Because quite frankly, none of these jobs pay as well as dancing or for as little hours. That's why I mentioned finding a renter looking for a roommate so you can fasttrack outta there. :D But for that, you probably need a reliable car, like Simone mentions.
How strongly do you want to work in I.T.? Did you pick this field or did your (former) boyfriend or you family pick this for you? Or all things considered, would you rather return to dancing? Or do both?
Oh okay I see. Interesting but yeah I think that's all kinda moot bc I think I will/would be using I.t. as a fall back. I picked it, I know my way around a computer so I thought it would be a good reliable plan b but I know at least the entry level pays pennies to dancing.. like go to school and be 10k in debt to barely make 40k if that with crazy hours, or dance lol.
But like I'm mainly going back and forth whether to tell my mom I don't want to go, 10 days before or wait til I get there and be like I don't like it or finish this semester, be miserable there lol and then after do what I want. The first two she will be pissed and freak out and it might put a stain on our relationship, it's like no matter which of the 3 options I'm fucked and gonna feel shitty. :, (
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Quote:
Originally Posted by
EastCoastDancer01
I think it is best for you to pull out of school before you even begin, because then you get all your refund money (or your mom if she's paying for it, in which case she would not lose anything). You said your not a school person and the school you'd be going to sucks. I can guarantee that once you start there you are going to be miserable and going crazy in a middle of nowhere type of town. And if you withdraw after the semester begins, it will just create more stress and problems for you. You will likely owe that money back and put your mom in debt which will create more friction for you and your family. So why waste time and money for something you are not passionate about??! It is your life and you are only young once. Enjoy being 21 and work on gaining your independence. If I were you I would call your sister to make sure you can live with her or try to secure a place to live elsewhere, and then drop your classes as soon as you know you'll have a place to stay. You can go back to dancing or you can work on finding a real job to save money to eventually get a place of your own. Don't worry about your parents or your ex bf, they need to learn that it is not okay to control your life, you are too old for that!! You need to take control back, and make people respect your choices and your boundaries. Good luck!!
I'm trying but something I just thought about, the only money I have is the money my mom gave me for christmas, that few hundred is the only money I have and it was going toward fare, if I pull out she will most likely take that money back. Then what lol then I'd need someone kind enough to offer me free room and rides for a week or two and I doubt that exists. If this situation has taught me anything its never give anyone financial control over you, the day I quit the club was the day I put my life and choices in others' hands.
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Quote:
Originally Posted by
simone87
Ok, so a few questions..do you have your own car, is it in decent shape? How much weight do you have to lose before you go back? Are they making you take out loans in your own name?
Where did she say she needed to lose weight Did I miss part of it?
OP- If they are making you take out loans in your own name and your Mom takes the refund she is committing fraud. I don't know the situation so I can't really say but.... You seem really unhappy. You are 21 years old. I don't know if it's your familiar heritage or your generation but when I was your age I lived 1300 miles from my family had an apartment, a BMW AND was going to school. Don't let them keep their thumb on you like that if you are not happy. I don't recommend dropping school altogether (for anyone) esp. if you are on the way to a degree; ESP. in your case because the field is high paying. Can you transfer your credits somewhere else and dance while in school or can you live on campus where you will be able to dance now? (That can surely be done, unless it is a faith-based university).
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Your choices are basically:
A) Go to class for a semester and reevaluate when you've had more time to regroup, or
B) Drop out and likely be homeless, penniless, and on bad terms with your family
New Year's resolutions or not, the choice seems obvious.
There are a TON of scholarships out there for females in STEM. Go to school this semester, making amazing grades, then transfer somewhere with scholarships and dance while pursuing a 4-year degree, not an associates. An associates hardly gets you anything in most fields. A female with a BS in a STEM field with the social skills that dancing reinforces will make a lot of money, and STEM jobs are going to come with way better tax incentives and benefits than dancing ever will. Honestly OP, reading your post, I assumed you were barely 18. It just comes off as reactionary and a little childish (making decisions as retaliation is still allowing the person you're pissed at to control you), and saying that dancing is "calling" you is short-sighted, IMO.
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Gia2608
Where did she say she needed to lose weight Did I miss part of it?
OP- If they are making you take out loans in your own name and your Mom takes the refund she is committing fraud. I don't know the situation so I can't really say but.... You seem really unhappy. You are 21 years old. I don't know if it's your familiar heritage or your generation but when I was your age I lived 1300 miles from my family had an apartment, a BMW AND was going to school. Don't let them keep their thumb on you like that if you are not happy. I don't recommend dropping school altogether (for anyone) esp. if you are on the way to a degree; ESP. in your case because the field is high paying. Can you transfer your credits somewhere else and dance while in school or can you live on campus where you will be able to dance now? (That can surely be done, unless it is a faith-based university).
That's awesome you were doing all that at my age.
I'm actually still finishing electives so I'm nowhere near close to getting the degree lol.
Yeah I wouldn't mind doing online classes and dancing.
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
She talked about having to go to the gym before auditioning again, I was wondering if she could get hired just as she is where she is or what.
Seems you're in a tricky situation where you are completely dependent right now, so you'll need to tread carefully and start planning. Keep going to school, but try and look into scholarships as much as you can to keep your debt low..my parents did the same thing with me. You'll be glad you have that degree someday. Start practicing driving and get that license. Start working and save. Then once you have some money and a license and a car you can see where you're at.
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tuesdaymarie
Your choices are basically:
A) Go to class for a semester and reevaluate when you've had more time to regroup, or
B) Drop out and likely be homeless, penniless, and on bad terms with your family
New Year's resolutions or not, the choice seems obvious.
There are a TON of scholarships out there for females in STEM. Go to school this semester, making amazing grades, then transfer somewhere with scholarships and dance while pursuing a 4-year degree, not an associates. An associates hardly gets you anything in most fields. A female with a BS in a STEM field with the social skills that dancing reinforces will make a lot of money, and STEM jobs are going to come with way better tax incentives and benefits than dancing ever will. Honestly OP, reading your post, I assumed you were barely 18. It just comes off as reactionary and a little childish (making decisions as retaliation is still allowing the person you're pissed at to control you), and saying that dancing is "calling" you is short-sighted, IMO.
4 year degree..hmm. honestly why pursue dancing if I was going to go this route though, the cs field is super competitive and ithe would take a lot of dedication and focus that I would have to pull from dancing and use. Plus idk if I have the passion for a 4 year cs degree/career.
Those two decisions weren't completely in retaliation I wanted to do them, but my mom forbid it...at 21! She needed that little slap in the face.
I said dancing is calling me right now, not that it is my calling. I never said I planned on doing it long term either.
And my post may come off as childish bc I'm being treated like a child.
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Quote:
Originally Posted by
simone87
She talked about having to go to the gym before auditioning again, I was wondering if she could get hired just as she is where she is or what.
Seems you're in a tricky situation where you are completely dependent right now, so you'll need to tread carefully and start planning. Keep going to school, but try and look into scholarships as much as you can to keep your debt low..my parents did the same thing with me. You'll be glad you have that degree someday. Start practicing driving and get that license. Start working and save. Then once you have some money and a license and a car you can see where you're at.
I am completely dependant right now, and I'll admit it's all my fault. I just stopped crying at night bc of it, I had about 1500 or so after I quit, I didn't think I would need it or want to go back dancing (man my bf had me suckered) so I blew it basically, now I'm up a creek without a paddle and he's gone.
Guess for now I'll still have to be under my moms thumb and eye, treated like a child until I find an out. But yeah in the meantime I'll be working on my license, getting my body fit, getting my gpa up, & saving up money.
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Quote:
Originally Posted by
alibby
I'm trying but something I just thought about, the only money I have is the money my mom gave me for christmas, that few hundred is the only money I have and it was going toward fare, if I pull out she will most likely take that money back. Then what lol then I'd need someone kind enough to offer me free room and rides for a week or two and I doubt that exists. If this situation has taught me anything its never give anyone financial control over you, the day I quit the club was the day I put my life and choices in others' hands.
How can she take that money back?? If it cash that you are using for fare she cant, unless she physically grabs it out of your hand. And she shouldn't, she gave you that money as a gift! Anyway, I'm beginning to have second thoughts from what I had posted before. It seems to me like your family has the upper hand right now (unfortunately) and if you tried to fight it, it would just create more problems for you. So another option is to just stick it out for one semester, get your aid refund money and then do whatever you want once you complete the semester. If you are taking out the loans in your name then it is YOUR money that you are entitled to and your mom has no right to take it (as Gia mentioned, that would be committing fraud). I hope everything works out well for you, at least now you know not to let them take control of your life again.
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Is there any option of just not going to school right now but getting a regular job to appease your family while you save up? I'm not knocking school at all, but IMHO, it's such a waste to go if you're not truly into it. People say "just get the degree," but if you don't care about it, you 1) won't retain the information enough to use it later, and 2) may end up never using whatever random degree you decided on in the moment and will just be stuck paying back vast amounts of money for something you couldn't care less about. I got my 4 year degree, and a part of me is happy I did it, but another big part of me wishes I had been allowed to take a few years off either before or in between when I was getting burnt out on it and wondering why the hell I was even doing it. I probably would have gone/gone back eventually, but with a clear idea of what I was doing it for and the drive to actually learn the stuff long-term, not just spit it out for one exam. I honestly regret being pressured into finishing school in the "socially acceptable" way rather than doing what I wanted to do - far more than I regret spending the last few years not using my degree and being a sex worker.
It's not like the option of school ever goes away. You can go to school at another point in time when you've sorted out your priorities and are going somewhere you like for something that you're actually passionate about. I get that you can't just take off on your own to go dance now, but does it have to be "school right this second" or you're kicked out? Or would they settle for you getting a fulltime job doing something "normal" while you figure out what you really want to do about school?
I'm not trying to advocate for blindly throwing away all future opportunities to go be a career stripper or anything. But I truly believe, especially with how expensive higher education is, that college isn't something to do "just because" these days. If you want to do something in the future that requires a degree, you'll be in a much better position to start then, than you would be if you got some virtually useless degree and then couldn't go back to school because you weren't done paying off that one yet. I personally would see if your mom would be cool with you just working right now while you sort out your goals and save money to become independent. Barring that idea, I would focus on purely "core classes" for the first semester - things you would need for any degree - so even if you quit after a short stint, you'll be set for possibly going back in the future without wasting credit hours and money on degree-specific classes.
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aurora_Sunset
Is there any option of just not going to school right now but getting a regular job to appease your family while you save up? I'm not knocking school at all, but IMHO, it's such a waste to go if you're not truly into it. People say "just get the degree," but if you don't care about it, you 1) won't retain the information enough to use it later, and 2) may end up never using whatever random degree you decided on in the moment and will just be stuck paying back vast amounts of money for something you couldn't care less about. I got my 4 year degree, and a part of me is happy I did it, but another big part of me wishes I had been allowed to take a few years off either before or in between when I was getting burnt out on it and wondering why the hell I was even doing it. I probably would have gone/gone back eventually, but with a clear idea of what I was doing it for and the drive to actually learn the stuff long-term, not just spit it out for one exam. I honestly regret being pressured into finishing school in the "socially acceptable" way rather than doing what I wanted to do - far more than I regret spending the last few years not using my degree and being a sex worker.
It's not like the option of school ever goes away. You can go to school at another point in time when you've sorted out your priorities and are going somewhere you like for something that you're actually passionate about. I get that you can't just take off on your own to go dance now, but does it have to be "school right this second" or you're kicked out? Or would they settle for you getting a fulltime job doing something "normal" while you figure out what you really want to do about school?
I'm not trying to advocate for blindly throwing away all future opportunities to go be a career stripper or anything. But I truly believe, especially with how expensive higher education is, that college isn't something to do "just because" these days. If you want to do something in the future that requires a degree, you'll be in a much better position to start then, than you would be if you got some virtually useless degree and then couldn't go back to school because you weren't done paying off that one yet. I personally would see if your mom would be cool with you just working right now while you sort out your goals and save money to become independent. Barring that idea, I would focus on purely "core classes" for the first semester - things you would need for any degree - so even if you quit after a short stint, you'll be set for possibly going back in the future without wasting credit hours and money on degree-specific classes.
That sounds like a sound decision right but they wouldn't accept it, I've been working since I got out of high school and they complained about me working dead end penny jobs, but I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life then and I was just content making money, the jobs were terrible though but that's where I found the balance with dancing, I didn't hate it in fact I liked it shitty days and all and I was making money I never imagined. But no they won't accept that, and how silly does that sound. I can feel me being viewed and treated as a child wearing on my mental health daily.
And yeah I'll be just focusing on core classes this semester, it's been about 2 years since I been in school so with my already fragile mental state I just hope I can do well.
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Quote:
Originally Posted by
EastCoastDancer01
How can she take that money back?? If it cash that you are using for fare she cant, unless she physically grabs it out of your hand. And she shouldn't, she gave you that money as a gift! Anyway, I'm beginning to have second thoughts from what I had posted before. It seems to me like your family has the upper hand right now (unfortunately) and if you tried to fight it, it would just create more problems for you. So another option is to just stick it out for one semester, get your aid refund money and then do whatever you want once you complete the semester. If you are taking out the loans in your name then it is YOUR money that you are entitled to and your mom has no right to take it (as Gia mentioned, that would be committing fraud). I hope everything works out well for you, at least now you know not to let them take control of your life again.
I never know with her some of the stuff she'd do in a heat of rage.
I'll be sure to mention that if she tries to take my aid. Guess ill be sticking it out. Thank you and definitely.
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Do you have any support from other people who could help you? Your sister? Your friends? Do you have your own bank account? You can put that money you got for Christmas in a checking or savings account so your mother has no chance to take it from you. Or you could hide it somewhere she wouldn't have access to. It is really sad that you have this kind of relationship with your mother. She sounds so unreasonable. I think it is absolutely ridiculous that your family won't accept you working a normal job. what do they expect?? Most college grads these days have trouble finding good jobs which is why many of them work crappy hourly wage or waitressing jobs. But hey, it's money! They are making an honest living. Regardless, you are an adult and you have the right to work whatever job you want! You need to find out what resources are available to you and seek out support in difficult situations like these. I don't know the extent of your moms rage that you speak of, but the best advice I can give you is to document everything and always have proof should you need it, especially if she takes your aid refund money.
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Is mom paying your tuition, fees, books, letting you live at home free?
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Your relationship with your mom sounds ridiculously unhealthy and it's not doing you any good being babied and controlled by her. I mean you are entirely too old to be watched at school by your big brother at 21 years old. I think all of this is way too much stress over a simple associates degree.. which like someone else said is pretty pointless these days. I really don't think it takes that much to become independent and doing everything on your own either. I didn't have a car for a while and used Uber everywhere.. I also moved to another state without having that much money saved and relied on credit cards until I got myself back on my feet and making consistent good money at a new club.
If you lived on your own and were dancing you could pay for school without going into debt and you wouldn't have to deal with the the stress your over-controlling mother creates. I think it's time to cut the umbilical chord and be an adult lol but it's up to you.
I am all for school (I just graduated last year with a BS in Pre Physical Therapy) but you should have an idea of what you want to study and what you want to do with your degree once you're finished. I still have grad school to do and I'll be using dancing as a means to pay for it while I stay on my own out in this new state without any help from friends or family. It's possible.
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Re: To go to school now or nah? Mom and bf (now ex) made me & now I'm depressed
Quote:
Originally Posted by
slowpoke
Is mom paying your tuition, fees, books, letting you live at home free?
I didn't ask her to and I'm living with my grandparents who she moved back in with recently to save money for a short while