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When He's in Another Room
Ok ladies. Not sure if this topic was addressed before (although, I'm pretty sure it has).
What do you do when one of your biggest customers starts spending on someone else?
I can't help but feel some kind of way.
I had a great guy who dropped off the face of the earth in November. He told me that he hasn't been on the site due to connection problems. But, I know from a friend that he has been in her room.
How do you girls handle this? I depended on the guy and now he's gone. And on top of it all, he's lying to me saying he hasn't been on the site in a few months.
I feel so rejected. I can't help but ask myself, "What the fuck did you do wrong?"
I know it's a site (SM) with at least 1800 girls on at once and these guys go from room to room. I get it. I wouldn't mind if he was spending on others AND still spending on me. But, he dropped me like a bag of hot potatoes.
I guess I just really need to get over it. But, I was wondering how you girls feel about this. How do you cope? Do you blow it off or feel rejected?
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Re: When He's in Another Room
If he's not spending on me right now he doesn't exist. Always another whale to hook and that is what I want to focus on.
I have made the mistake of depending on a couple of big spenders in the past, never again. They all have expiration dates. Some return, some don't. You have to always be on the lookout for more as others expire. Don't "cry" over anything that won't cry over you ;)
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Re: When He's in Another Room
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Originally Posted by
laurielegs
If he's not spending on right now me he doesn't exist. Always another whale to hook and that is what I want to focus on.
I have made the mistake of depending on a couple of big spenders in the past, never again. They all have expiration dates. Some return, some don't. You have to always be on the lookout for more as others expire. Don't "cry" over anything that won't cry over you ;)
I love that you say that they have "expiration dates". That is so true. When I do get a great customer, I think, "It's totally not going to last".
Thanks for your response!
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Re: When He's in Another Room
Sorry you feel that way, this isnt towards you or telling you what to do but this is just how i dealt with this in the past.Thats hard. Youre in a tough spot with this one because you cant call them out for it but if youre watching and see it and he lies to you and not spending it makes you feel bad because he is lieing and you know otherwise. I dont hardly watch cams anymore for this reason, it just affects my mood if i see something of this sort. Guys are just like that they will spend on you and move on to the next then come back to you and spend again. Im sorry you feel bad. I just quit watching and focused on my room and it has helped alot over the last few years. I do like to watch some girls who i think are inspirational but it runs that risk of seeing something like that. I just got myself to the point that i dont care anymore and dont go into rooms and watch and that has helped my mood and hustle quite alot. I hope that you feel better. I have had the same experience as you and its hard not to say anything to them calling them out for lieing but it wont help any. They will come back and spend, they usually always do. I know its not easy to see something like that with a good regular but try not to let it get you down it isnt anything you did, its them. some men do that on there unfortunately. Hugs to you.
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Re: When He's in Another Room
I would move onto the next one, he definitely has.
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Re: When He's in Another Room
The thing is - I emailed him and acted dumb. I was like, "Your computer issues resolved?" He said, "No. Still haven't been on the site since I saw you last". I responded and just called him out by saying, "Oh, that's odd. Was hanging in a friend's room and saw you there. I was a little perplexed." He went on this long-winded email about how he will address the situation when his computer issues are fixed.
I'm the type of person to not just sit back and accept someone lying to me. Some of you may say that I shouldn't have said anything to him. But, I don't like liars. Why the fuck lie? I'm not your wife. I'm not your girlfriend.
Thank you so much, Chelly. You're amazing! Hugs right back and I appreciate your response!!!!
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Re: When He's in Another Room
Just like we don't owe a customer anything just because he has spent a lot in the past, they don't owe us anything just because we've given them a lot of shows in the past. They have paid for services rendered, and as mentioned before all regulars do have an expiration date. Sure it feels sucky to see one of your top guys move on, all the more motivation to hook yourself a new one. Being successful here is more about converting new customers into sales. Relying on our top spenders is a dangerous zone to go in. Typically when I see that happen (we've all been there) I just think wow, he has great taste. Look at what assets this model has, because you may have something to learn. You are already in her category of beauty in this customers eyes. Men like variety. They come to us because we don't give them the bullshit drama and baggage they get already from their wives and girlfriends. When we start acting jealous or possessive, why would they pay for the fantasy we provide? Just my two cents.
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Re: When He's in Another Room
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Originally Posted by
AlyssaJane
Just like we don't owe a customer anything just because he has spent a lot in the past, they don't owe us anything just because we've given them a lot of shows in the past. They have paid for services rendered, and as mentioned before all regulars do have an expiration date. Sure it feels sucky to see one of your top guys move on, all the more motivation to hook yourself a new one. Being successful here is more about converting new customers into sales. Relying on our top spenders is a dangerous zone to go in. Typically when I see that happen (we've all been there) I just think wow, he has great taste. Look at what assets this model has, because you may have something to learn. You are already in her category of beauty in this customers eyes. Men like variety. They come to us because we don't give them the bullshit drama and baggage they get already from their wives and girlfriends. When we start acting jealous or possessive, why would they pay for the fantasy we provide? Just my two cents.
Thank you!
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Re: When He's in Another Room
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Originally Posted by
BadBitch
The thing is - I emailed him and acted dumb. I was like, "Your computer issues resolved?" He said, "No. Still haven't been on the site since I saw you last". I responded and just called him out by saying, "Oh, that's odd. Was hanging in a friend's room and saw you there. I was a little perplexed." He went on this long-winded email about how he will address the situation when his computer issues are fixed.
I'm the type of person to not just sit back and accept someone lying to me. Some of you may say that I shouldn't have said anything to him. But, I don't like liars. Why the fuck lie? I'm not your wife. I'm not your girlfriend.
Thank you so much, Chelly. You're amazing! Hugs right back and I appreciate your response!!!!
I hope that he either comes back to spend on you or he fucks off if isnt going to,because if hes not going to spend anymore him staying away from your room will be the best thing he could do. One guy who lied to me told me he didnt have any money yet came back that same night after he spoke to me and wanted me to get him off in free chat mind you because he spent money on another model who didnt get him off that money he supposidly didnt have and busted himself he was a good reg too so i banned his ass, goodbye..hate liars too. I hope this works out for you for the best but if he doesnt spend again id put his ass on your ban list. There will always be another big spender who will take his place.
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Re: When He's in Another Room
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Originally Posted by
Chellyinparadise
I hope that he either comes back to spend on you or he fucks off if isnt going to,because if hes not going to spend anymore him staying away from your room will be the best thing he could do. One guy who lied to me told me he didnt have any money yet came back that same night after he spoke to me and wanted me to get him off in free chat mind you because he spent money on another model who didnt get him off that money he supposidly didnt have and busted himself he was a good reg too so i banned his ass, goodbye..hate liars too. I hope this works out for you for the best but if he doesnt spend again id put his ass on your ban list. There will always be another big spender who will take his place.
Thanks! I don't think he'll be back after I called him out. He's probably like, "This bitch is a psycho stalker". I knew that he was spending on another model cause she is my friend and showed me his pic. My heart sank. I was like, "Haha! That's my regular as well!" My friend feels bad. I don't want her to. I want him to spend on her. But, I just felt so rejected.
You really have to be thick-skinned with this job.
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Re: When He's in Another Room
I give zero fucks. He's not my boyfriend; it's not worth getting jealous over. For whatever reason, he's no longer interested in you or has decided to take a break from you for a while. There are many possible reasons.
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Re: When He's in Another Room
Yes! to everything AlyssaJane said. Please try not to freak out. In addition to not owing us monogamy or future patronage, our guys don't owe us explanations or the truth about their absence. Lying sucks, but our business is based on making people feel good by covering reality with a layer of fantasy - sometimes that goes both ways, and our guys sugarcoat/fabricate the truth. It's not in your best interest to push them about it.
For one thing, they see us because they want variety, so they are usually going to see multiple models. They tend to go through phases of having a favorite, just like all humans do. Occasionally, I'll eat pad thai, remember how fucking good it is, and spend the next month running around to all the Thai restaurants eating pad thai every chance I get. Then the craving ends, and I probably won't eat it again for another 6+ months. It's not that there's anything wrong with pad thai, but I would certainly be put off if the Thai community demanded to know why I've started spending my extra food money on Chipotle.
Secondly, just like I always come back to pad thai eventually, great regulars tend to come back around if you're patient. Regs have expiration dates, but the best ones can be good for years. I feel like they cycle through phases. When they first find you, they're usually very enthusiastic and only want to see you. After that, they might have times when they're enamored with someone new and don't see you at all; or they're playing the field and see you in rotation with other ladies; or they've rediscovered the joys of you and see you a lot, but with occasional visits to other models for spice.
Also, you get bonus points if you can graciously chat about the fun they had with other ladies. My very first reg disappeared for almost two years with just a message now and then. Recently, he popped up again for a few weeks. He spent 6-8 hours on cam with me, including maybe 15 minutes total of sexy stuff, and all the rest was him talking about drama he had with his latest favorite model. I happily took the money and didn't fret when he disappeared again - I know he'll be back sometime. I have several regs that openly see other ladies between our sessions, and some of them spend part of our paid time together talking about how to politely deal with the other models (I promise that I'm giving them advice that would be SW approved, lol).
TL,DR: You can't force guys to be a reg or spend on you, so enjoy them and their money when it comes to you, and be cool when it doesn't. Be happy when they're there, make money from others when they're gone, and welcome them back enthusiastically if/when they return. Just never, ever depend on them so much that you can't do without them! Regs make up a lot of our earnings, but you should always leave some time to cultivate new customers.
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Re: When He's in Another Room
Point blank, you have no right be territorial over a customer. Ever, period. Doesn't matter if the guy promised, or if he was trying to 'let you down easy' by lying, or whatever his reasoning is. He's got free-will and he can spend as much as he wants on whomever he wants whenever he wants--and that means that he has the right to not spend on you anymore.
Sure, you can be pissed off or hurt or whatever. Those are your feelings and you certainly have a right to them on that basis. However, that said, you just made a fool of yourself by taking it out on the customer and you're probably very right in saying he's unlikely to come back and spend again in the future.
Here's the thing--if a customer came into your room and got pissed off that you were servicing other customers before him, regardless of the reason, you'd be quick to put a stop to that behavior. If you were busy/not in the mood to play with a particular dude and said 'sorry, can't' only for him to find you live on an indy listing or working another site, you'd be rolling your eyes and saying 'I don't owe you an explanation for not being in the mood dude' if he called you out on it. If said customer proceeded to lose his shit and throw a possessive tantrum? Well, I'll lay down good money that you'd block him and move on. That's a two way street and you've done yourself a disservice to forget it.
I've watched giant wars start on Twitter as models start screaming at each other over 'ownership' of a customer that resulted in one model getting banned/suspended for attacking the other. I've watched models screen at their customers on live chat and Twitter for being 'disloyal' or telling them to go spy on other models/customers for them to check loyalty. It's not pretty to watch and that sort of pettiness is gonna drive more customers off than it keeps around.
Real talk--customers aren't walking wallets and models aren't walking sex toys. We have free-will and we don't owe anyone an explanation of our personal choices. Things would be a lot better for everyone if we could all keep that in mind.
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Re: When He's in Another Room
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Magical_Hoohah
Yes! to everything AlyssaJane said. Please try not to freak out. In addition to not owing us monogamy or future patronage, our guys don't owe us explanations or the truth about their absence. Lying sucks, but our business is based on making people feel good by covering reality with a layer of fantasy - sometimes that goes both ways, and our guys sugarcoat/fabricate the truth. It's not in your best interest to push them about it.
For one thing, they see us because they want variety, so they are usually going to see multiple models. They tend to go through phases of having a favorite, just like all humans do. Occasionally, I'll eat pad thai, remember how fucking good it is, and spend the next month running around to all the Thai restaurants eating pad thai every chance I get. Then the craving ends, and I probably won't eat it again for another 6+ months. It's not that there's anything wrong with pad thai, but I would certainly be put off if the Thai community demanded to know why I've started spending my extra food money on Chipotle.
Secondly, just like I always come back to pad thai eventually, great regulars tend to come back around if you're patient. Regs have expiration dates, but the best ones can be good for years. I feel like they cycle through phases. When they first find you, they're usually very enthusiastic and only want to see you. After that, they might have times when they're enamored with someone new and don't see you at all; or they're playing the field and see you in rotation with other ladies; or they've rediscovered the joys of you and see you a lot, but with occasional visits to other models for spice.
Also, you get bonus points if you can graciously chat about the fun they had with other ladies. My very first reg disappeared for almost two years with just a message now and then. Recently, he popped up again for a few weeks. He spent 6-8 hours on cam with me, including maybe 15 minutes total of sexy stuff, and all the rest was him talking about drama he had with his latest favorite model. I happily took the money and didn't fret when he disappeared again - I know he'll be back sometime. I have several regs that openly see other ladies between our sessions, and some of them spend part of our paid time together talking about how to politely deal with the other models (I promise that I'm giving them advice that would be SW approved, lol).
TL,DR: You can't force guys to be a reg or spend on you, so enjoy them and their money when it comes to you, and be cool when it doesn't. Be happy when they're there, make money from others when they're gone, and welcome them back enthusiastically if/when they return. Just never, ever depend on them so much that you can't do without them! Regs make up a lot of our earnings, but you should always leave some time to cultivate new customers.
Because you're awesome and I love your response! Thank you! VERY well said with the food analogy!
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Re: When He's in Another Room
Sweetie, don't get pissed. That happend to me before with a guy who signed up under my cammodels and he was getting shows with other girls but not me. I asked him when he could play and he'd just say he was broke. I left it at that and just smiled cuz I was getting a cut of the money he'd spend on those girls anyway. If I were you I'd just block that guy....the damage is done, move on, there will be other whales that will find you and spend as much or more on you!
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Re: When He's in Another Room
It's his money. He can can spend it only anyone he wants to. I've had so many models get mad at me because their whale reg decided to do a show with me and drop giant tips. I've had models send me messages pissed that I "stole" their reg. Its stupid to get jealous at a model who has no control in how generous or cheaply a customer chooses to spend on them.
My advice is stop watching other camgirls entirely if you are going to get jealous.
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Re: When He's in Another Room
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Originally Posted by
Susperia
Sweetie, don't get pissed. That happend to me before with a guy who signed up under my cammodels and he was getting shows with other girls but not me. I asked him when he could play and he'd just say he was broke. I left it at that and just smiled cuz I was getting a cut of the money he'd spend on those girls anyway. If I were you I'd just block that guy....the damage is done, move on, there will be other whales that will find you and spend as much or more on you!
I'm sad. I'm very happy for my friend. I just feel rejected. But, honestly, your girls' advice has helped! :)
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Re: When He's in Another Room
Every time I read one of these threads and hold my own opinion I always scroll down to look for your response. 99.9999999% of the time it is exactly what I am thinking but you explain it so well there really isn't any need for me to reply. LOL. Except maybe...YEA! What she said! :) Except to say get over it and get back on camera and make some money! (but in a nice way)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Issabelle
Point blank, you have no right be territorial over a customer. Ever, period. Doesn't matter if the guy promised, or if he was trying to 'let you down easy' by lying, or whatever his reasoning is. He's got free-will and he can spend as much as he wants on whomever he wants whenever he wants--and that means that he has the right to not spend on you anymore.
Sure, you can be pissed off or hurt or whatever. Those are your feelings and you certainly have a right to them on that basis. However, that said, you just made a fool of yourself by taking it out on the customer and you're probably very right in saying he's unlikely to come back and spend again in the future.
Here's the thing--if a customer came into your room and got pissed off that you were servicing other customers before him, regardless of the reason, you'd be quick to put a stop to that behavior. If you were busy/not in the mood to play with a particular dude and said 'sorry, can't' only for him to find you live on an indy listing or working another site, you'd be rolling your eyes and saying 'I don't owe you an explanation for not being in the mood dude' if he called you out on it. If said customer proceeded to lose his shit and throw a possessive tantrum? Well, I'll lay down good money that you'd block him and move on. That's a two way street and you've done yourself a disservice to forget it.
I've watched giant wars start on Twitter as models start screaming at each other over 'ownership' of a customer that resulted in one model getting banned/suspended for attacking the other. I've watched models screen at their customers on live chat and Twitter for being 'disloyal' or telling them to go spy on other models/customers for them to check loyalty. It's not pretty to watch and that sort of pettiness is gonna drive more customers off than it keeps around.
Real talk--customers aren't walking wallets and models aren't walking sex toys. We have free-will and we don't owe anyone an explanation of our personal choices. Things would be a lot better for everyone if we could all keep that in mind.
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Re: When He's in Another Room
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Originally Posted by
audritwo
It's his money. He can can spend it only anyone he wants to. I've had so many models get mad at me because their whale reg decided to do a show with me and drop giant tips. I've had models send me messages pissed that I "stole" their reg. Its stupid to get jealous at a model who has no control in how generous or cheaply a customer chooses to spend on them.
My advice is stop watching other camgirls entirely if you are going to get jealous.
I'm not mad at her, I'm mad at him for lying. I would never be mad at the model. It's not their fault. I should edit my post by saying that I found out about him going into her room by her showing me his pic and me recognizing him. It's very strange for her and I. She feels bad about it as do I.
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Re: When He's in Another Room
If he's moved along, so should you. Let this be a lesson for a few things... Don't get attached to customers. Milk them for all you can while they are interested in you. When a new whale comes along, he has probably just finished with another girl, take advantage of this.
Keep in mind, sometimes they might need a break and go to someone else, but that doesn't mean that they are done seeing you forever. Perhaps they have a few girls they rotate cycle seeing. In reality most guys have a few girls they enjoy the company of.. Logically speaking. In that case, play along and don't burn your bridges. Also, don't call them out, that will certainly finalize any chance of them coming back in the future. Also, you will seem pety. If they don't care about you anymore then just leave it be. You are hindering your hustle otherwise.
They are your customer not your boyfriend. Focus on the now. And last, if you get jealous or it fucks with your head seeing them in another room don't surf girls cam rooms. It will fuck with your headspace and put you in a funk.
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Re: When He's in Another Room
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Originally Posted by
Issabelle
Point blank, you have no right be territorial over a customer. Ever, period. Doesn't matter if the guy promised, or if he was trying to 'let you down easy' by lying, or whatever his reasoning is. He's got free-will and he can spend as much as he wants on whomever he wants whenever he wants--and that means that he has the right to not spend on you anymore.
Sure, you can be pissed off or hurt or whatever. Those are your feelings and you certainly have a right to them on that basis. However, that said, you just made a fool of yourself by taking it out on the customer and you're probably very right in saying he's unlikely to come back and spend again in the future.
Here's the thing--if a customer came into your room and got pissed off that you were servicing other customers before him, regardless of the reason, you'd be quick to put a stop to that behavior. If you were busy/not in the mood to play with a particular dude and said 'sorry, can't' only for him to find you live on an indy listing or working another site, you'd be rolling your eyes and saying 'I don't owe you an explanation for not being in the mood dude' if he called you out on it. If said customer proceeded to lose his shit and throw a possessive tantrum? Well, I'll lay down good money that you'd block him and move on. That's a two way street and you've done yourself a disservice to forget it.
I've watched giant wars start on Twitter as models start screaming at each other over 'ownership' of a customer that resulted in one model getting banned/suspended for attacking the other. I've watched models screen at their customers on live chat and Twitter for being 'disloyal' or telling them to go spy on other models/customers for them to check loyalty. It's not pretty to watch and that sort of pettiness is gonna drive more customers off than it keeps around.
Real talk--customers aren't walking wallets and models aren't walking sex toys. We have free-will and we don't owe anyone an explanation of our personal choices. Things would be a lot better for everyone if we could all keep that in mind.
You're right. However, I'm very sensitive so it's hard for me to be like, "Oh well, fuck it". I take things personally. I can identify that about myself and pay attention to when it happens. Am I working on it? Sure. If anything, this job has given me tougher skin than EVER. But, things like this still bother me.
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Re: When He's in Another Room
Quote:
Originally Posted by
BadBitch
You're right. However, I'm very sensitive so it's hard for me to be like, "Oh well, fuck it". I take things personally. I can identify that about myself and pay attention to when it happens. Am I working on it? Sure. If anything, this job has given me tougher skin than EVER. But, things like this still bother me.
Hey, I already said that your feelings are your own and you have the right to have them. That wasn't a throw away comment--it's the truth. You're perfectly allowed to feel however you feel because those are yours. That said, you have full control over how you handle it. It can definitely be hard to not lash out when you're upset, but when has lashing out in frustration ever had a good end result for anyone? Pretty much never. Consider it a learning experience and move forward with the knowledge that customers have the right to spend as they please and you have the right to perform as you please for whoever is spending on you.
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Re: When He's in Another Room
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Issabelle
Hey, I already said that your feelings are your own and you have the right to have them. That wasn't a throw away comment--it's the truth. You're perfectly allowed to feel however you feel because those are yours. That said, you have full control over how you handle it. It can definitely be hard to not lash out when you're upset, but when has lashing out in frustration ever had a good end result for anyone? Pretty much never. Consider it a learning experience and move forward with the knowledge that customers have the right to spend as they please and you have the right to perform as you please for whoever is spending on you.
Oh absolutely! Each situation is definitely a learning experience!!! I'm learning about myself through this. Hugs and thanks to your words of wisdom!!! You all have been extremely helpful!!!
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Re: When He's in Another Room
I was just thinking about this!!
I had a custie ask me sooooo many questions in free chat asking me what I'd be up for in pvt. We were making convo. He randomly left my room and I saw that he went into another model's room (I keep my custie account open to check my placement). She happened to be in a gold show countdown, and he immediately told her he wanted to go excl.
She cancels the countdown and he takes her excl for 25 min! I about died with envy!
The point is that this happens all the time.
There's no use in getting upset or letting it affect your night/week because there's so much potential out there.
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Re: When He's in Another Room
You know I've had guys tell me things like they don't like to talk in models rooms because they've been attacked. Like some chick saw them hanging out and chatting and kinda did what the op did. At least two have told me this when they came right in and immediately went private. I was like "Wow you're not fucking around are ya?" And dude goes Naw I dont want any bs if some other girl sees me in your room. And then on a few occasions I asked them to leave some feedback and was told no because they don't want some girl getting mad if they see their name. They were all big spenders who told me this. So instead they use the Anonymous option when they do leave feedback.
@BadBitch so apparently you aren't the only one who's calling them out. Its a cycle if you play it cool they'll come back around. You just have to act like you don't care.