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Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
Hey girls. Spoiler alert- super depressing post lol. boyfriend of one year (which I know isn't long) broke up with me because he can't handle that I cam. I make a very good living camming, I'm in school, I am starting my career, and I was in the middle of switching to bartending instead of camming not only for myself but because it bothered him so much.
I plan to cam for another year, maybe longer only when my debt is paid off and I can make a good living without it. Cam is not something I can simply quit. I would not be able to afford my nice apartment, car, bills and expenses. He never asked or expected me to quit because he knows the reality. Friends of mine suggested moving in to his house so that I don't have to cam - but if that's what he wanted, he would have brought it up. He also can't handle that I have a boy/girl video with an ex that I haven't sold since we got together. It was produced around the same time I met him. Apparently he's been digging to find it because he found it a couple weeks ago somehow online and broke up with me out of the blue. He said he can't deal with my job, the video, and all of it for "anyone to see". I keep my cam profiles private, and I have offered to pay to have content removed off searches/sites. He doesn't agree with cam work in general and can't take it anymore. He knows that it's his own problem and doesn't make me a bad person. I'm not going to lie, I feel like crap. i regret the boy/girl video. We all make mistakes.. I just feel hopeless, I'm resentful towards cam, luckily I have money saved because I haven't worked cam since it happened, I haven't been eating, I am angry at him because I feel like he doesn't truly love me, and lost my best friend and honestly the best relationship I've ever had. Says he can't mentally deal with it and has thought about seeing a shrink. The funny thing is, before I met him, I said I would never want a guy who was Unaccepting to begin with. My prior ex I had a long relationship with was 100% accepting of it - but he turned out to be a liar and possibly cheater. At first my Bf didn't mind so much, but as you develop feelings and love someone, that changes. To be completely raw, I feel like a loser. Has this happened to anyone else here?
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
Well, sorry to say this, I know you care(d)..but he sounds very immature & selfish. Like you said if he wanted to support you (not only financially) he could have stepped up & offered to help/move in together..but he didn't.
He can't handle shit, who knows what he's done in the past? Don't let him shame you! Fuck all this shaming shit, I'm damn tired of it..
Believe me you're young & there's good guys out there that are mature.
I wish I hadn't wasted my time w/guys like this, that's what I'm ashamed of.
Anyway, take care, you will heal from this.
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
Some boys just can't handle it. Find one that can and it gets better :) This is you, your past, your current income, and big piece of your total package. You can't just a la carte someone that you share your life with.
For all that, he did the right thing by moving on as soon as he figured it out. A lesser person would have let it build into vindictive jealous passive-aggressive stuff, you got an early easy out.
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
Sorry about the break up .Better he left now then later .He doesn't deserve you. I see
Camming as a bussiness / financial freedom for us ladies .If he really couldn't handle you camming , he need to replace the income that your making from camming .Wchich he probably couldn't .Move on to the next.All I can say is time heals all wounds .Keep on hustling don't let anybody make you feel ashame for the indepence camming brings .Hope you feel better soon .
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
It's not wrong of a guy to have problems with dating a sex worker but it is wrong to date a girl he knows is a camgirl when he knows deep down he'll never be cool with it. it just means ur incompatible. I've learned the hard way that u really have to lay all ur cards on the table when ur falling in love w someone and be honest w urself and them abt if u have the same beliefs/goals/etc for that long term potential. If u had stayed together he likely would have guilt tripped u all the time abt working and u would have lost $$ over it. Please don't feel like a loser!!! Camgirls are fucking amazing, just look at the girls on this site ! idk abt u but i think its hard to find a selection of such intelligent, business savvy, beautiful women any place else but here. Not anybody can be a camgirl! U have to be tough as hell, smart and extremely hardworking. U should be VERY PROUD u have the conviction and pride to not just back down and quit camming for a relationship if its what makes u happy. Lots of women would not have the guts to do that. xo
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
"There is always more fish in the lake" so to say, good luck finding a good guy & let it go on this one, u soo lucky to be able to support urself at that level from camming money, take advantage of it & never look back but ahead, NEXT GUY PLS! Good luck!
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1 Attachment(s)
Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
Quote:
Originally Posted by
missmercedes
It's not wrong of a guy to have problems with dating a sex worker but it is wrong to date a girl he knows is a camgirl when he knows deep down he'll never be cool with it. it just means ur incompatible. I've learned the hard way that u really have to lay all ur cards on the table when ur falling in love w someone and be honest w urself and them abt if u have the same beliefs/goals/etc for that long term potential. If u had stayed together he likely would have guilt tripped u all the time abt working and u would have lost $$ over it. Please don't feel like a loser!!! Camgirls are fucking amazing, just look at the girls on this site ! idk abt u but i think its hard to find a selection of such intelligent, business savvy, beautiful women any place else but here. Not anybody can be a camgirl! U have to be tough as hell, smart and extremely hardworking. U should be VERY PROUD u have the conviction and pride to not just back down and quit camming for a relationship if its what makes u happy. Lots of women would not have the guts to do that. xo
Attachment 44198
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
Honestly, in ten years' time, this one year relationship will fade into insignificance and you'll be with a guy who deserves you.
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
You need a man not a boy.
Guys are like buses, trains and we can add in plains in there too.
Basically take time heal from the break up. focus on yourself and what you are accomplishing for yourself.
You don't need him, he is too weak to handle all of you.
I personally would never quit sex work for no man. especially one who has nothing to offer.
Look at this way - if you listened to him quit camming because of him then you end up in some minimum wage life sucking job. Hate him more because he is doing what exactly. right complaining.
Then you sit and wish you kept camming wondering if websites are busy and if you can still make success of it like you had before. then you take that wonder and frustration out on him then he says I don't want you doing it. cycle repeats itself.
13 years in and I am transitioning into internet marketing and affiliate marketing for my choices. I don't need a little boy who is going to hang on me and drag me down.
You shouldn't either.
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
Hmm... what's the most supportive way to say this... he can go fuck himself.
Yep. I think that's it. I get that there's two sides to every story and that's fine, not all men are comfortable sharing their significant other with other people be it physically or virtually. That's fine too. Personally I can't stand hearing people chew. Whatever, we all have quirks right? But what he did was douchey and there's no reason for you to feel shitty.
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
Camming got you all the beautiful things in your life, your house, your lifestyle, your own true independence and with all that you have the satisfaction of living how you want to live with no obstacles. How can you resent camming?
That guy is not a man. You deserve far better, a man who not only knows how to make his own living, but who is also not threatened by a strong, sexy, beautiful woman who is his equal or better.
The universe will come through for you and when you are with a man who is truly worthy of your love, you will wonder wtf you saw in this guy.
Believe me, men are a dime a dozen and the special ones show up in your life once you let go of your limiting beliefs about them. Several of us here have wonderful, supportive men in our lives who have no issues with our careers. Men like that do exist, I promise. It's a good thing that this happened. Now you can focus on attracting the right guy.
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
Sounds like he is unsupportive and doesn't truly deep down love you enough to help you... If he was supportive he would have helped you in someway so you didn't have to cam if that's what you wanted? or wait til it is a good time to quit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
gypsylove
Hey girls. Spoiler alert- super depressing post lol. boyfriend of one year (which I know isn't long) broke up with me because he can't handle that I cam. I make a very good living camming, I'm in school, I am starting my career, and I was in the middle of switching to bartending instead of camming not only for myself but because it bothered him so much.
I plan to cam for another year, maybe longer only when my debt is paid off and I can make a good living without it. Cam is not something I can simply quit. I would not be able to afford my nice apartment, car, bills and expenses. He never asked or expected me to quit because he knows the reality. Friends of mine suggested moving in to his house so that I don't have to cam - but if that's what he wanted, he would have brought it up. He also can't handle that I have a boy/girl video with an ex that I haven't sold since we got together. It was produced around the same time I met him. Apparently he's been digging to find it because he found it a couple weeks ago somehow online and broke up with me out of the blue. He said he can't deal with my job, the video, and all of it for "anyone to see". I keep my cam profiles private, and I have offered to pay to have content removed off searches/sites. He doesn't agree with cam work in general and can't take it anymore. He knows that it's his own problem and doesn't make me a bad person. I'm not going to lie, I feel like crap. i regret the boy/girl video. We all make mistakes.. I just feel hopeless, I'm resentful towards cam, luckily I have money saved because I haven't worked cam since it happened, I haven't been eating, I am angry at him because I feel like he doesn't truly love me, and lost my best friend and honestly the best relationship I've ever had. Says he can't mentally deal with it and has thought about seeing a shrink. The funny thing is, before I met him, I said I would never want a guy who was Unaccepting to begin with. My prior ex I had a long relationship with was 100% accepting of it - but he turned out to be a liar and possibly cheater. At first my Bf didn't mind so much, but as you develop feelings and love someone, that changes. To be completely raw, I feel like a loser. Has this happened to anyone else here?
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
Lol, call him a WHAMBULANCE!
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
With lovers like him, who needs enemies?
As mentioned by many, there is a big ocean of men out there. I do hope in a year's time, you'll be looking back and laughing about this episode (because you've made good money and met interesting and worthwhile men since this breakup).
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
What they said...Everyone has one, so all I have to ask you is with the ambition you have to support yourself in a very comfortable life-style, while going to school, so you won't be a cam girl at age 58, so you can be a very successful woman in your own right for your whole life, why in God's name would you even want a pissy-mouth whiny-boy who probably wears skinny jeans? You need a man.
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
I would try your best to put it behind you. I know, easier said than done. There are guys out there that will support you and will understand its a career and will not let there emotions involved. Im guessing, he thought you would magically quit for him? I would focus on camming and school. There is absolutely nothing wrong with what your doing.Keep busy and surround yourself with supportive people. xo. hugz.
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1 Attachment(s)
Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
Quote:
Originally Posted by
whirlerz
Lol, call him a WHAMBULANCE!
Attachment 44203
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
Quote:
Originally Posted by
gypsylove
i regret the boy/girl video. We all make mistakes..
Why? Because he left? Did you regret it before he did this? It's a video with an ex. Even girls who don't cam have those, and sometimes those end up on the internet, too. So the guy who left because of it is likely jealous in general, and probably is the type to have a problem with the fact that you have a past at all. That never leads to healthy relationships. And.. At the time you made the video, you probably felt positive things about it; try to remember that. Try to stay focused on your goals, the ones camming is helping you reach. Don't let someone ruin something that seems to bringing a lot of positive for you.
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
Quote:
Originally Posted by
hyori
men are a dime a dozen
This is so very true and yet we as women often are not taught this! We need to teach this to our girls!
I dont even know what to say to the OP. Your depressed cause your bf dumped you? Um yeah that is a pretty normal reaction to a break up. It happens to doctors and lawyers and cam girls and every feeling person on earth. From what you have explained about yourself your an amazing person so lick your wounds and let time heal that pain.
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
okay.. my 2 cents here...
"Boyfriend can't handle that I cam"
The fact that he can't handle what you choose to do for a living, to be independent and support yourself, is about HIS insecurities and short comings NOT YOURS
"He never asked me to quit because he knows the reality"
If he truly knew the reality, then he's a pretty shitty person to claim that he cares about you and then make you feel this level of guilt over what you choose to do with your life. Sometimes the actual words aren't spoken, but he obviously made you feel like you DID have to quit even if he never straight out asked, otherwise this wouldn't be an issue.
"He also can't handle that I have a b/g vid with an ex"
Once again.. HIS insecurities and short comings, not yours. The fact that he was digging to find something reminds me of a jealous boyfriend going through someones phones and emails. Reeks of mistrust which is not a healthy relationship to begin with.
Quite honestly, this guy sounds like a possessive, controlling insecure little boy who is scared that you'll outgrow him and move onto something bigger and better. Sorry if that sounds harsh...but....themz the breaks. Either he needs to deal with his shit, on his own, see a shrink like he suggested and then HOPE and PRAY that you're still around and willing to even talk about accepting him back in your life, or you two should go your separate ways.
It may feel like that was the best relationship you've had in your life, but think of him as another step to getting you to where you will eventually be. How healthy can a relationship really be if he's digging through the internet trying to find something from your past to hold over your head like an asshole?
What does he do for a living? Would he be so accommodating as to quit his job, if you were to ask him to because you were uncomfortable with it? Would the results be the same if the situation were reversed?
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
You are NOT a loser and you need to eat!
Not eating will only put you in a worse mood, and you must understand that many men are not willing to handle their significant other in the adult industry. It is nothing against you, personally, it is the act that you do not only "belong to him" so to speak.
It just seems like you weren't compatible -- was he aware of you camming prior to entering the relationship? If so, it is his own fault and he should have known to back away before getting serious.
Change your life because you want to change your life, and nothing more. You do not owe ANYBODY that satisfaction. My boyfriend of five years has adapted to the lifestyle, and the only thing he requires is that I don't speak about it much. (I can talk about earnings and funny stuff, but nothing of the interactions between the custies.)
I hope you keep your head strong and stay true to yourself. Do what you need to do. There are plenty of fish in the sea, and I'm certain you'll find him...or he'll find you :D
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
OP, if you hate cam, find ways to get out of it. You can even start your own business and stay self-employed if you want. However, the truth is. You are a cammodel, right now. Those are the facts. There are things that we have to deal with because of our job. You should never bend and conform for anyone but yourself, though. Even if you quit cam for him, he still hates the fact that you have a sex tape out there floating in cyber space, and that will always be a target of yours for him to hit over, and over again. He was manipulative, and controlling. Any man who feels he owns you and your body, and is ashamed of how you previously, or currently choose to display your body doesn't want what's best for you- they want to control you and posses you like an object. I've been there, was there 4 years, would've been 6 this year and leaving him was the best decision I had ever made for myself.
It's good he showed you his true colors as you cannot change the fact that your tape is out there and possibly many other records of you on cam. That is the nature of the beast, hon. My advice is to learn to love and accept yourself. Be alone for sometime, figure out what you wish to do, and follow your dreams. And never again allow a man to come into your life and just simply tolerate you. He needs to love and accept you for you. or walk. Period. No more settling or toleration.
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
Quote:
Originally Posted by
kortneykay
OP, if you hate cam, find ways to get out of it. You can even start your own business and stay self-employed if you want. However, the truth is. You are a cammodel, right now. Those are the facts. There are things that we have to deal with because of our job. You should never bend and conform for anyone but yourself, though. Even if you quit cam for him, he still hates the fact that you have a sex tape out there floating in cyber space, and that will always be a target of yours for him to hit over, and over again. He was manipulative, and controlling. Any man who feels he owns you and your body, and is ashamed of how you previously, or currently choose to display your body doesn't want what's best for you- they want to control you and posses you like an object. I've been there, was there 4 years, would've been 6 this year and leaving him was the best decision I had ever made for myself.
It's good he showed you his true colors as you cannot change the fact that your tape is out there and possibly many other records of you on cam. That is the nature of the beast, hon. My advice is to learn to love and accept yourself. Be alone for sometime, figure out what you wish to do, and follow your dreams. And never again allow a man to come into your life and just simply tolerate you. He needs to love and accept you for you. or walk. Period. No more settling or toleration.
I agree 100 percent, bravo for this post. This is so true. Sorry you went through that kortney i did as well and took me 25 yrs to get out of it. It doesnt get better once you let them talk you into and convincing you into changing for them it will never be enough and they want more and more until youre stuck in that nightmare and lose yourself as a person because it will be only what is best for them, a partnership is both not just one.
gypsylove im so sorry you are going through that and hurting, i hope that you get better and as she said please take time for you. I second everything she said. It may be hard right now but you will get through the pain and heartache and see that you deserve better than the way he was. Im not glad it happened to you but im glad that you got out of it before it became consuming and took a hold of your life. I wish you the best but be assured that you will be ok even though it hurts now you will get through it and become much stronger in the long run. It may not seem so at the moment but this is the best thing for you to not be with someone like that. Hugs to you. I hope you feel better soon.
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
Girl you deserve better. As minnie said: You deserve a MAN, not a boy.
He can go f*ck himself! *BEAR HUGS*
Give it time, stick to camming, save up and be savvy about your money so you can transition to another industry, but never, EVER, bend yourself for a person.
YOU must be your priority number 1 in life. ALWAYS!
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Re: Need Support. Boyfriend left because of cam
Gypsylove, as far as I can see, he couldn't get over the fact his girlfriend could be seen on the web having sex with another man. It's most probably not even about you or your job or your ex, but rather about him being afraid someone he knows finds out and rubs it in his face or starts rumours. If he cares about what people may think or say of your relationship more than about the relationship itself, let him GTFO. I've been camming since 2009 and it's never been an obstacle to relationships, so I'm 100% sure you'll find someone who can handle your job and your past.