Re: Feeling degraded and angry at work
Quote:
Originally Posted by
LilLadyLux
Most of the guys I dance for are great though. In fact, the fatter, the trollier- looking are often the most greatful and respectful to me.
I figure we live in this incredibly disconnected culture and we all desperately need attention and touch. I don't think these guys are judging you, I think they are enchanted. I doubt they notice your flaws, except for the 'pick up artists' who spend their time negging you to bring your confidence lower so you would CONSIDER dating them.
And in a fucked up way, I take that as a complement. When negged I think "wow, this loser wants me so badly, and we both know I'm out of his league."
So true. (However in my world I work in rural areas so sometimes the troll looking dudes are as scary as Ed Gein lol.)
It's also true, some of the absolute worst "negging" Pick Up Artist guys needle women due to the intense misery they feel inside (mostly due to their crappy personalities.)
Re: Feeling degraded and angry at work
I started upping my workouts to 2-3 a day to deal with this stress. Exercise is naturally a stress reliever, and your body will start looking hotter than ever.
Re: Feeling degraded and angry at work
I felt this way last night for the first time since I burned out five years ago. So I quit. The money isn't worth feeling dirty, degraded, and small.
Re: Feeling degraded and angry at work
I feel like this often enough, and actually, my first burnout was basically the exact same situation you described. I like my club, but the bouncers generally don't kick out rude/cheap guys, and dancers pretty much have to fend for themselves. I guess what it boils down to is just working very hard to stay positive. When customers are gross, I think about this to combat it:
- Sadly, some men love to abuse unattainable and beautiful women, and this only reflects poorly on those men while validating your own worth
- ALL jobs involve being treated poorly in some manner, whether it's being yelled at by customers while working retail or humiliated by your boss in a meeting at a white collar job
- Who the fuck cares what any man thinks anyway????
- All these losers will still be losers every day for the rest of their lives and me interacting with them on a given shift does not change my value
- $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
I also think it's very important to cultivate regulars that make you feel better. I don't mean trying to get the same 57 year old to come in and talk your ear off every Wednesday, but rather like, whenever I have a customer who is kind, polite, well-behaved during dances, and tips generously, I give him my card, thank him for his business, and tell him to come back and see me next Saturday. They don't all return for a second time, but enough of them do so that 99% of my shifts I have at least one or two awesome customers to boost my mood. It's so helpful when I'm dealing with jerk after jerk to know that there's a guy who drove 20 miles literally just to give me $100 for my cute smile.
Re: Feeling degraded and angry at work
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Miss_Red
So I've been dancing for a little over a year now. I like the financial freedom. I like the people I work with and I like my club itself. I don't think stripping is a degrading or demeaning thing to do. It's a job like any other job, and we provide a valuable service. I'm not ashamed of being a stripper. That's not what this is about.
But lately, I've been feeling very degraded anyway. This thing where I get up stage and fat, old, awful, disgusting, bad-breath, socially stupid losers get to judge my every flaw with that stupid judgy smirk on their stupid faces. Like I'm supposed to impress them enough that they'll consider throwing me a couple dollars. I'm supposed to compete with other beautiful women over their affection. It's driving me crazy. I feel physically sick about it. It makes me feel like a beggar.
I've taken some time off, because I know this sounds like burnout, but if it's burnout it's pretty deep because it hasn't shaken. I've gone from having monetary goals for my shifts to just hoping I can make it through my shifts without feeling like complete dogshit on my way home.
Has anyone gone through these feelings, and if so, how did you deal?
Stripping is not inherently degrading, but we're not doing it in a vacuum. There's a context for people's attitudes toward the job, toward us, and toward women in general. Men are raised to think that they are better than all women (what an utter inversion!), and especially better than sex workers. That's what allows them to objectify us. They assume that they are the "natural" judges of how good we are, and they assume that we recognize that, and especially in a strip club they believe that they are entitled to rate us and have NO IDEA that we are human beings who are assessing THEM and THEIR actions, beliefs, intelligence, etc. My reaction to all this? Fuck them. Who cares what a bunch of pathetic male perverts think? Get your money, make a better life for yourself, and make a better life for your female progeny.
Oh, and tell the men who don't know their place to go fuck themselves. I love the looks on their faces when a lowly stripper won't pander to their pathetic sense of entitlement.
Re: Feeling degraded and angry at work
Quote:
Originally Posted by
dakdakdak
Stripping is not inherently degrading, but we're not doing it in a vacuum. There's a context for people's attitudes toward the job, toward us, and toward women in general. Men are raised to think that they are better than all women (what an utter inversion!), and especially better than sex workers. That's what allows them to objectify us. They assume that they are the "natural" judges of how good we are, and they assume that we recognize that, and especially in a strip club they believe that they are entitled to rate us and have NO IDEA that we are human beings who are assessing THEM and THEIR actions, beliefs, intelligence, etc. My reaction to all this? Fuck them. Who cares what a bunch of pathetic male perverts think? Get your money, make a better life for yourself, and make a better life for your female progeny.
Oh, and tell the men who don't know their place to go fuck themselves. I love the looks on their faces when a lowly stripper won't pander to their pathetic sense of entitlement.
This is the reason men and women the world over clash. So well put.