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How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
My man and I have been together for over two years now. He's very accepting of what I do, and extremely supportive to boot. I used to think it was super disrespectful to him to deny him being significant in my life when a customer asked if I have a boyfriend, so I would just be honest with him. My boyfriend, after learning this, suggested I might be selling myself short in cash by saying this because it may put some men off, which it does. So, I started telling them "no, I don't have a boyfriend", but this poses another problem. The immediate follow-up to this answer is always something along the lines of "would you consider dating me because blah, blah, blah", "do you want to hang out after this?", or "can I take you out sometime?" My answer in my head is always the harsh "No, you're just a dollar sign to me tonight, and I don't want anything but the cash in your wallet so I can buy my boyfriend a new watch." Of course, I don't say that...but I have no idea how to handle this situation. It's like, the second this question is asked, the sale is lost, and it's a lose-lose conversation. How do you ladies handle this?
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
First of all, you have a keeper. Your man sounds like a great guy. And it tells a lot about you guys. He feels very secure in the relationship.
I usually joke around and say "I always have a boyfriend! And now you're my boyfriend too! Ha ha ha You guys don't give me a moment's rest! Ha ha ha" and if he asks about taking me out sometime, I just say sorry, here at the club we don't offer take out service and if I get caught dating customers, I'll get fired. And yes, the truth always comes out, I've seen it a million times, a lot of girls have been fired, and you just can't take the risk because you have like 10 kids to support, blah blah blah. Usually by then they get the hint.
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
First of all, any time a customer asks you if you have a boyfriend/husband, that is a red flag. I've learned this the hard way throughout my time as a dancer. Not only is that NONE of his business and inappropriate to ask, it means that he is seeking OTC activity with you, or in some cases, dating/a relationship. (I wish these men would fucking GET REAL! *eye roll*)
The best way to handle it is by being honest like you did in the beginning. Tell them "YES I have a boyfriend"...who cares if you lose a sale because of it! Trust me, these types of customers aren't worth it. They'll keep pestering you to see them outside if they think that you are really single. And if you lead them on to keep them coming back for dances, things will get ugly (from personal experience). Another way to handle this situation is by saying "I dont talk about my personal life" when he asks you that question. You can avoid sounding bitchy by saying something like "ehh, I'm having issues in this area that I'd rather not talk about. But I'd love to give you a dance to get things off my mind ;) of course if he comes back to try to pursue you, you can be like "I've worked out all my issues and my boyfriend and I are good again!"
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
I say no because most guys don't want to date a stripper and/or can't handle dating a stripper.
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
I say yes and that he may not have money but he has long hair and a huge dick.
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
Single guys I'm single. Guy in a relationship/married I have a boyfriend. I do this regardless of my relationship status. Single guys want to fantasize about the idea of dating you and married guys want to think "it's ok" because you are also in a relationship and "get it". If a guy wants to date you, I would just string him along. The ones who fall in love end up spending the most money. Tell him your busy with school/other job/family/whatever and you only have time to see him in the club. Tell him you want to get to know him better in the club before you see him outside the club. Tell him you've been hurt in the past and he needs to earn your trust. Tell him you need to see that he spends money on you inside the club before he takes you on a date. ALWAYS come up with excuses on why you can't see him outside of the club and when his money finally runs dry, you head onto the next one. If things get sour, tell him you fell in love with someone else. Management should always have your back. I know some girls may not approve of my hustle, but it works really well for me.
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
I've been "getting over a bad breakup" for about ten years now. LOL
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
I play it by ear. But after dancing for a long time, I don't really get fazed by what they say. And I don't even care how they're going to react. I just try to milk them for as much as I can in the shortest amount of time possible. Because I know that these types will move on to some other dancer/obsession very quickly. I actually get pleasure I. Playing with them. I guess it's the domination side of me.
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
I used to always say "It's complicated." I was single for awhile, but hated telling people I was single, then I had a boyfriend but didn't consider that any of their business. Even if they were still going to spend money on me, it always opened up a whole new annoying topic: "And he's ok with this?" Ugh... just... just no.
"It's complicated" is a perfectly realistic response for a dancer. Most customers assume we have shitty on-again-off-again relationships anyway. They'll totally believe that you're having trouble dating but not 100% free. If anyone ever pushed it and wanted a "story," I'd say that an ex was back in town and we were seeing if we could "make things work." So: no, I can't go out with you, but you totally believe that my "ex and I" won't work out so, go ahead, keep coming in hoping that we'll "break up" soon..
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
I swap between "No, what kind of guy wants their girl doing this?" and the guy usually thinks about it and abandons course, or else I tell them yes.
I have a couple guys that have a standing joke to come in, get some dances, and bug me about if I've left him yet. One time I told one I had and he spent 3x as much :rotfl:
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
I tend to come back at them with " Do you a wife/ Girlfriend? " If they dont want to talk about their relationship then why are we talking about mine.
Depends on the customer though. Some of them I'm I just say yes to, and others i ask them why they want to know.
My very good regulars know about my boyfriend, they also know that he works at the club with me.
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
"Oh yeah, his name is Benjamin Franklin."
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
I'm in a serious committed relationship, but I tell customers, "I'm, you know... seeing a few gentlemen, they're all really cute and sweet and stuff, but I just don't have time for a relationship right now, I'm sooo busy always being in the club, I barely have time to go out ever! My money is my main priority right now! Speaking of which, do you wanna go hang out in VIP? It's $400 for blah blah blah"
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
I would tease them a little "sweetheart, do you have a boyfriend?", cutely let them think they're special and they got an answer out of me when they kept pushing and always say I was seeing someone but it's not serious.
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
In my best Jim Carey voice id say "that's none of your damn business and I'll thank you to stay out of my personal affairs"
Kidding. That's what I'd be thinking but I'd say "no. I broke up with him a few months ago. Why? Because he was too cheap. But enough about him. Let talk about me and you"
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
My usual reply is "No boyfriend, but I do have a girlfriend" (that is actually true); their faces are most of times perplexed.
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
At work I'm always single. I find it easier to hustle that way. My personal life, other than what I chose to tell, is no customer's business.
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
Wanting to date you is aka can I get this & laid for free.
Your personal life is none of their business.
Most of them who ask because they want to 'date' you are usually lying & in a serious relationship or married themselves. Most of them think it is a joke & fun to lie to strippers.
Tell them no, most men find me to expensive to date. That will scare them off enough from dating you but not enough to still get dances. It is an ego game & bragging rights to fuck a stripper to all his buddies. But who dates anyone that doesn't have their best interest at heart? Why waste your life like that?
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
I always said: "no, but I do have a girlfriend." Sold lots of girl girl shows that way. :-)
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Zofia
I always said: "no, but I do have a girlfriend." Sold lots of girl girl shows that way. :-)
Oh yes, and IMHO it's also a great line for getting all the female customers
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
"I dated guys but I currently have a girlfriend/female fb" is a good way to go, and you can take that one in a few directions as needed for the guy. The point is that you're taken, but not in any way that's threatening.
Also if I'm at a new club and want to build rapport with another dancer, I'll say "I'm single and bi and I have a HUGE crush on that girl over there!" Sometimes I get a double dance, sometimes he'll go for her after I'm done. It's win-win.
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
Oooh I forgot, I used to just say cheerfully "Lots!" and then just move on to a new topic.
They'd always either laugh or look surprised and I usually managed to sell them dances.
I don't think they're necessarily all trying to figure out how to date you. At least with my older customers, most of them are just curious. I find the younger ones or the ones who have a certain tone when they ask it are the time wasting jerks.
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Re: How do you respond when a customer asks if you have a boyfriend?
One of my best friends is a burlesque performer and she just says "a lady never tells!"
I've started doing this too and it works pretty well. You just giggle after and change the subject asap!