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Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
So, bit of a long story, and it's kinda complicated.
My husband is currently attending graduate school. He plans to get a PhD. Unfortunately, all of this is expensive, and grad school doesn't leave a ton of time to get a well-paying job. I'm currently camming to pay his way through college (and to pay off my student loans) because I can't pay them all off without it.
He plans to become a psychiatrist of some kind - probably pediatric, but I don't exactly know where he's going yet - and he later plans to become a college professor.
Will him being married to me impact his ability to find and keep a job? If so, what should I do? I'm self-employed (freelance coder/writer/et al), so I'll probably be fine either way, but...
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
There is no real way of really knowing what could happen, but I don't think being married to him would impact his stability in finding work.
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
If it did then you could sue the company for discrimination and live off the money so its win win!
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
I would ask on a legal forum just to be safe. I'm pretty sure it's guilt by association at the level we play at. It would be hard to convince a jury that your husband had no idea you were camming. Is it fair? No way. But few things in this life are. Double check and triple check just to be sure.
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
I would say realistically there's near zero chance that you camming in your past would influence his career. There's also a degree of difference between "camming" and a "porn career", insofar as the rest of the world cares to tell the difference. If anything, it might give him some street cred depending on his practice.
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
Maybe I'm being overly feminist here but I feel like this kind of thing never bites the GUY in the ass. How many important men are married to ladies with "questionable" pasts? Lots. He'll be fine.
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
Men have a way to look after themselves when they go after their goals. If a man needs to be supported he will use your camming money. When he goes to plan B and your camming might affect his career he will make you his past and deny he ever knew you. So do not worry - HE will be ok no matter what. They always are.
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
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Originally Posted by
Dorothea
Men have a way to look after themselves when they go after their goals. If a man needs to be supported he will use your camming money. When he goes to plan B and your camming might affect his career he will make you his past and deny he ever knew you. So do not worry - HE will be ok no matter what. They always are.
Sounds like someone saw Lemonade this weekend? Kinda sorta kidding. But yes I see your point. My answer to the op's question is don't worry about him, worry about you. He will be fine.
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
Well, he can't exactly deny he knows me - I have a kid by the guy and everyone knows it - but I see your point. We signed a prenup, so if he leaves me, he'll have to pay back every dime I contributed to his education, which at this point runs to about 10k.
Am I stupid for this? I basically got started in camming because I got pregnant and he was out of work. I love him a lot, and I'm devoted to him. Now he's got a decent job, but he's still trying to get his PhD, and I wanna support him. Are guys really such dogs? Am I throwing water down an empty well here?
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
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Originally Posted by
Dorothea
Men have a way to look after themselves when they go after their goals. If a man needs to be supported he will use your camming money. When he goes to plan B and your camming might affect his career he will make you his past and deny he ever knew you. So do not worry - HE will be ok no matter what. They always are.
Or alternatively, if he loves his wife, he won't make her part of his past and instead choose her over his career. Why assume he's an asshole?
OP, my husband is a physician and I would have never started camming if it could have impacted his ability to find a new job if needed. How would an employer even know? He'll be fine.
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
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Originally Posted by
lovelyminerva
My husband is currently attending graduate school. He plans to get a PhD. Unfortunately, all of this is expensive, and grad school doesn't leave a ton of time to get a well-paying job. I'm currently camming to pay his way through college (and to pay off my student loans) because I can't pay them all off without it.
Holla at girls supporting their babes through school. My husband is going to medical school in the fall. He doesn't think it's going to affect his job opportunities as a doctor from the research he has done.
If you are afraid, maybe start filling your taxes separately?
What is with this stigma of a woman supporting their man? Men support their womens all the time.
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
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Originally Posted by
lovelyminerva
We signed a prenup, so if he leaves me, he'll have to pay back every dime I contributed to his education, which at this point runs to about 10k.
I did the same thing. Smart cookie. You are investing your guy's future and you need to protect your investment.
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
^^ Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode where Elaine supports her boyfriend through medical school (Not financially but by not having sex with him cause he finds it distracting) and when he graduates he dumps her because "Its the dream of every medical student to graduate and dump the person they are with so they can have someone better".
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
You keep doing you, literally. You'll be fine. He's not going into politics so there is no reason for anyone to really dig into his background.
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
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Originally Posted by
lovelyminerva
Well, he can't exactly deny he knows me - I have a kid by the guy and everyone knows it - but I see your point. We signed a prenup, so if he leaves me, he'll have to pay back every dime I contributed to his education, which at this point runs to about 10k.
Am I stupid for this? I basically got started in camming because I got pregnant and he was out of work. I love him a lot, and I'm devoted to him. Now he's got a decent job, but he's still trying to get his PhD, and I wanna support him. Are guys really such dogs? Am I throwing water down an empty well here?
In my opinion as someone who has dated both sexes in her past PEOPLE in general should not be totally trusted with your future and you should always have your own back which is more then obvious you have done in this situation by making sure you have a prenup.
As for your original question, I also think he will be fine for all the reasons the other girls have mentioned.
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
Is this really his worry?
Since he has no problem living off of the money now, later on it shouldn't be an issue.
Men often upgrade wives after medical school & a few years into a practice. A family member after 20 yrs of marriage to a Dr, he waited until the kid was grown so he wouldn't have to pay child support wanted a divorce. Still had to pay out half of retirement & assets along with 5 yrs of spousal support. During the marriage he wanted her total attention & got it.
Always look after your end & the kid, love & marriage is awesome. But don't make to many sacrifices in the name of love to your detriment, men love & appreciate females who hold their own & fight for themselves & what they deserve.
Sam
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
Well that's just speculation. You don't know if he is going to dump her after school.
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
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Originally Posted by
lovelyminerva
Well, he can't exactly deny he knows me - I have a kid by the guy and everyone knows it - but I see your point. We signed a prenup, so if he leaves me, he'll have to pay back every dime I contributed to his education, which at this point runs to about 10k.
Am I stupid for this? I basically got started in camming because I got pregnant and he was out of work. I love him a lot, and I'm devoted to him. Now he's got a decent job, but he's still trying to get his PhD, and I wanna support him. Are guys really such dogs? Am I throwing water down an empty well here?
Stupid would be to do this without a prenup. Sounds like you have the financial aspect covered. It's too bad more women don't consider this.
Smart move!
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
I should probably clarify why I'm so worried about this. He's planning to work as a school counselor while he works part-time on his doctorate's degree. As in elementary school. I'm worried because you hear stories about how people are kicked out of their jobs for being sex workers in the past, so... I don't know, maybe I'm neurotic, but.
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
Yes, smart move !
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Originally Posted by
audritwo
I did the same thing. Smart cookie. You are investing your guy's future and you need to protect your investment.
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
I think you'll be fine unless you are a VERY outspoken and OUT sex worker ( making TV appearances, online often talking about it ect. )
If you are pretty discrete and have changed your look up a little between then and now I think he'll be ok. As long as you did all legal work ( made films / cammed only where it is legally allowed ect. ), it would be illegal to discriminate against him based on your association.
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
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Originally Posted by
lovelyminerva
I should probably clarify why I'm so worried about this. He's planning to work as a school counselor while he works part-time on his doctorate's degree. As in elementary school. I'm worried because you hear stories about how people are kicked out of their jobs for being sex workers in the past, so... I don't know, maybe I'm neurotic, but.
You're the sex worker, not him. You don't have to meet the ethical standards he does.
I'm just rereading your OP...You say PhD and then psychiatrist, but a psychiatrist is an MD. Two different career paths! Either way, you'll be fine. Just don't let him cam with you.
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Re: Will my porn past impact my husband's ability to find a job?
Yeah, they are two different paths! I'm not entirely sure what's going on here. I think he has to get a dual-degree in order to teach at the university level - an MD with extra classes in educational organization which might eventually require a PhD. should he decide to go into education - but I'm just quoting him. Things are pretty up in the air, anyway - he's graduating from undergrad soon enough.