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Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Let me start out by apologizing if there's a thread about this, or similar to this, already. I just couldn't find it.
I'm still brand new to camming, but I find myself disturbed by a client. He's a sweetheart, but after one exclusive he was professing love for me. Not casually, but like we were "soulmates". He always takes me to exclusive, which is nice, but once his spending limit is reached he just hangs out in free chat, talking to me romantically. We have a lot in common, and I put on a good show for him, but I don't indulge him in free unless the room is quiet. He PMs me regularly, the last message simply reading "miss you xx". I didn't reply.
I offer GFE on my profile, but I'm starting to wonder what that really means. I am supposed to pretend like he has a chance with me? He's a nice guy (so far), and I want to be kind to him. Should I remove GFE from my profile, if I'm uncomfortable with encouraging this type of clinginess? I'm hoping he gets the hint from me not replying to his PMs (I have other people to talk to, dude)! Should I tell him I'm married (I am)? Should I mention I'm married in my profile?
Ugh, I feel like such a newbie!! Sorry again if this sort of thing has already been addressed. I just want to be sure I'm doing the right thing here. What have other ladies done in this type of situation?
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
I'd start ignoring him. If he confronts you about it, tell him he was making you uncomfortable.
Stop indulging in GFE if you are not getting paid.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Ride the wave as much as you can.however you can. when you can not anymore, you can not anymore
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
This is exactly why I freely disclose that I'm married. If they don't like it, they can take their business elsewhere! It's completely delusional to think a camgirl is in love with you, so it's nice to have something to remind them that my affection for them means nothing. Sure, there are some guys I'd honestly love to get a beer with, but I don't have feelings for you just because we have (what you think is) really hot sex over the internet.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Guys professing their love is something you just get used to the longer you are in camming. The majority of the time when they say it never really has anything to do with 'love'. They are trying to manipulate you into giving them free stuff because in our society there is this unspoken rule where we 'owe' men if they decide to love us or the concept of 'being in love' is a justification for them handing over their money and that way their ego doesn't have to deal with the fact they are paying for sex or a million other self-centered psychological reasons that truly have nothing to do with you.
How you reply to them will have a lot to do with your hustle. When guys tell me that they love me I reply with a knowing smile and say, "I know." This will not work if your are running a 'good-girl hustle' though.
I think the hardest thing about when you start camming is you have to try a million different techniques until you find the ones that works for you to keep you mentally-happy and money-happy because after you find them you can just keep repeating them over and over again. It is very much trial by fire so it is okay to not do and respond to everything correctly the first time around. I know that I didn't!
The important thing to remember is just like in real life you don't owe anything to anyone who claims to be in love with you.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
I let them be in love as long as they take me private or exclusive on a weekly basis and buy my videos and stuff... lol
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
I am going to be more doom and gloom about this issue:
Personally, I believe their "feelings" are apart of their fetish. Some of them have an fetish called "Love addiction". It is where they are addicted to love.Most of them are playing games and they will never love us. Often times, these people just want to feel that they are not clients and feel bad about paying for companionships.However, some of them might think their feelings are real and you should put down the law. Remember this is an industry of dreams and illusions. :)
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
They never really 'love' us, it's fascination, fetishes, addiction, cheapness (oh how many guys i had claiming they love me just not to spend on me anymore and how many i had to block cause of this lol), it's all smoke & mirrors, take benefit of all u can and block/ban when the person becomes un-comfy & too clingy, it's all business here ;)
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
It is never love. These fucking idiots who have a 20 year marriage and multiple children who are too chicken to get divorces are so deluded and addicted to the fantasy that I perform for their pleasure that it makes me feel total disgust at their stupidity.
I'm not fucking real! I don't have multiple ear shattering orgasms in a span of 10 minutes but I will if there is enough money thrown at me!
I am lying about their looks and I find their cocks gross! The sight of their face makes me want to vomit! How can they claim to love their wives and continue to live in such bullshit? They need to get their fucking priorities straight and stop making me their addiction. I am sick and tired of being blamed for "playing with their emotions" and being a "man eater". Just fuck off already. Leave me the fuck alone and work on doing something productive with your pathetic life! God fucking dammit.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
hyori
I am lying about their looks and I find their cocks gross! The sight of their face makes me want to vomit! How can they claim to love their wives and continue to live in such bullshit? They need to get their fucking priorities straight and stop making me their addiction. I am sick and tired of being blamed for "playing with their emotions" and being a "man eater". Just fuck off already. Leave me the fuck alone and work on doing something productive with your pathetic life! God fucking dammit.
LMAO! You are spot on! Exactly what she said lol!
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
all customers eventually lose interest which ive found is a great thing. please....give me all your money before i'm utterly sick of you. the clingy customers affected me when i first started. i feel the ultra stage 10 clingers find newer models to annoy. the minute you staart calling them out on their shit they wont fuck with you anymore. i apply pressure and watch them crumble until they leave. especially if there are other ballers in the room that will just take you into shows because mr sentimental over here won't.
don't let these losers drain you of anything. especially not your time.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
When I was a newbie camgirl I had a stage five clinger like this, but instead of love he thought he was my favourite person ever and we were besties (and obviously going to sleep together at some point.) I remember he once told me during a show that he had driven some porn star to the airport and banged her, and I was like, what am I supposed to be jealous? It wasn't a roleplay, it was a BJ show, and when I asked him why he told me that he said "I thought you'd want to know." Uh, okay.
From that point on he was dead to me unless he was in a show. Once I stopped responding to his many direct messages he just sort of drifted away. I still said hi in chat but focused on spendier members and he eventually stopped coming there too.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
I get these guys all the time and I still haven't found a way to deal with them. I guess I just try to talk to them, but I try to not respond to anything that involves us "being together" or I tell them I'm not allowed to even discuss it. But I really am in the same boat with lots of guys. One kept asking if we could meet someday (he lives in another country) so I was like well maybe someday, well see. Next thing I know he is writing me all the time, has saved up enough money to come see me, and calls himself my boyfriend, even in front of others in the room. I would block him, but he does provide a large portion of my check each week, so I just make up excuses, and dodge. I know one day he'll figure out I will not be meeting him, but until then I have to make a living lol. So my best advice is if it's a good paying customer just dodge and weave until they take a hint, or if they aren't a good paying customer and are making you feel weird just block them.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
^^ There is no way in hell I would ever lead on a customer like that. I am not judging you if you do. See, I have several customers who have been with me since I have started and the majority of them know their professional boundaries. They just know. The ones that don't are scary, gross and annoying. They become passive aggressive and give you stupid guilt trips. I just don't need the stress. It is not worth the money to feel like shit when you deal with certain customers. Power to you if you can handle it!
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
I have encountered two guys like this recently. The first one was a trucker ( older man from his pic) took me exclusive for an hour. Just wanted to talk but kept pushing about him coming to meet me. Even though i clearly kept saying i can't talk about that here my account will get banned. It's against the rules, he still kept bringing it up so i would change the conversation. After that hour long exclusive he would email me his personal phone number , email etc. Then, every single day he would come sit in my chat room to watch me. But no shows. i would say hi and always try to get him to go private but nothing. gave him a few chances but when i realized he was done doing shows because i would not meet him, i blocked him. less stress.
the second one is a foreign guy who tells me he loves me left and right. I miss you, i love you. the only time i say i love you back is in exclusive. When we are sitting in free chat and he comes at me with the i miss you, i love you crap i say this. I only talk about that in exclusive. I don't want to scare my other guys away. He usually goes and does a show then. He also sent me his email but i ignored it. so far this one still does shows. but i make it clear i do not meet in person.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Something similar happened when first starting with some troll that kept spamming with pms and even after blocking they still managed around it. I wouldn't put any attention in initiating them if all they do is devote their undying love by harassing you about "where you live bb?"
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
I know girls who milk this "I love you" cow, but I personally never do. Those dudes need so much energy outside of privates I can spend on my hustle getting new regs without lies.
Honestly I kind of "love" only my big spenders. Sad truth. They stop spending, I stop "loving".
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
What I don't get is why. Why do men think they can meet us? Why don't they use the fucking matchmaking sites instead? Or just get an escort? WTF is with these guys who won't take no for an answer? Why do they feel so entitled when they spend a certain amount of money? I don't owe them anything! They have no right to demand a piece of snot from my nose even if they'd spend a billion dollars on me.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
hyori
What I don't get is why. Why do men think they can meet us? Why don't they use the fucking matchmaking sites instead? Or just get an escort? WTF is with these guys who won't take no for an answer? Why do they feel so entitled when they spend a certain amount of money? I don't owe them anything! They have no right to demand a piece of snot from my nose even if they'd spend a billion dollars on me.
My guess is they're too ashamed to use escorts or find them "dirty"; and they are taught from birth they're special because they have a dick, so if they only try hard enough everybody will love it. The sheer power of dick will save us from this shameful life in their minds.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
I was seriously wondering what to do about a regular of mine. He spent good money on me the first few times he came into my room, then the last private he did with me it was him begging to come see him and that he'd meet me halfway and posting his phone number and telling me he loves me and misses me. At first I was like this is all cool as long as he takes me private to voice all of that. Now he just comes into the room and posts how I didn't call him, he loves me, why am I ignoring him type bull and what I really want to say is "DUDE GET A GRIP I WOULDN'T SQUIRT ON YOU IF YOU WERE ON FIRE!" He hasn't taken me private or exclusive and when I do say let's go talk in private he makes an excuse like I'll be back or I have to move the car into the garage so next time I log on he's getting the boot. That shits too much work.
I don't love you...I love your money.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
I was seriously wondering what to do about a regular of mine. He spent good money on me the first few times he came into my room, then the last private he did with me it was him begging to come see him and that he'd meet me halfway and posting his phone number and telling me he loves me and misses me. At first I was like this is all cool as long as he takes me private to voice all of that. Now he just comes into the room and posts how I didn't call him, he loves me, why am I ignoring him type bull and what I really want to say is "DUDE GET A GRIP I WOULDN'T SQUIRT ON YOU IF YOU WERE ON FIRE!" He hasn't taken me private or exclusive and when I do say let's go talk in private he makes an excuse like I'll be back or I have to move the car into the garage so next time I log on he's getting the boot. That shits too much work.
I don't love you...I love your money.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
I feel like this thread is unnecessarily negative.
You know our gentlemen are people too, right? Some of them are lonely and just need someone to talk to. A lot of my customers spend all day at work; it's the highlight of their day to see me. I don't judge that. Who wants to work at a soul sucking job? Some of these guys can't wait to get home to spend time with you. They do care, even if they're not planning on leaving their SO for you. It's a different kind of care. Please understand that these guys aren't simply walking wallets. At the end of the day, they are people too. People deserve to be treated with respect and empathy if you ever want to understand them and get anywhere in the world.
I'm not saying you need to love your clients back. I'm not saying you need to treat them with kindness. If guys are being cruel or rude, definitely ban them. If they're not paying you and they're being rude, you should ban them. But complaining about the guys on an open forum where they can read this and become disenchanted? Why would you do that? The majority of my guys are the most kindhearted people in the world. I'm shocked that some of these posts are so negative towards the men who give us a good life. I would never have the quality of life I have without them. They're definitely people I want to keep happy and cheer up.
I don't understand some of the comments in this thread. I'm not trying to antagonize, and I deeply apologize if this post offends or upsets anyone. I just don't want anyone to feel so burnt out that we forget they're human, too. <3
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
These men who think they are entitled to our affections because they have spent money on us are not treating US like human beings. They are treating us like cattle. They believe they can meet us, take us away from our families and entire life. They believe without any doubt that they can make us their property.
When they feel threatened, eg. another man starts spending more on you, they become possessive. This is not respectful, or loving or anything. It's just tending to their farm and protecting their livestock. Not all men are like this, but the ones who are, the ones who keep on persisting on meeting you, trying to trick you into giving you information about your whereabouts, your real name, your GPS co-ordinates, etc. are not showing any love, they are STALKERS. They can be very sneaky and try not to show any stalker-like behavior because some of them are actually intelligent about how to hide their stalker traits.
Of course there are customers who come home and like to spend time with you and those are the great ones because they know where the boundaries are, they don't take this seriously, you are not going to be their mail-order bride.
I don't know if it's because I'm Asian that I get these kinds of men. It must be racial or something.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
anoncamgirl
I feel like this thread is unnecessarily negative.
You know our gentlemen are people too, right? Some of them are lonely and just need someone to talk to. A lot of my customers spend all day at work; it's the highlight of their day to see me. I don't judge that. Who wants to work at a soul sucking job? Some of these guys can't wait to get home to spend time with you. They do care, even if they're not planning on leaving their SO for you. It's a different kind of care. Please understand that these guys aren't simply walking wallets. At the end of the day, they are people too. People deserve to be treated with respect and empathy if you ever want to understand them and get anywhere in the world.
I'm not saying you need to love your clients back. I'm not saying you need to treat them with kindness. If guys are being cruel or rude, definitely ban them. If they're not paying you and they're being rude, you should ban them. But complaining about the guys on an open forum where they can read this and become disenchanted? Why would you do that? The majority of my guys are the most kindhearted people in the world. I'm shocked that some of these posts are so negative towards the men who give us a good life. I would never have the quality of life I have without them. They're definitely people I want to keep happy and cheer up.
I don't understand some of the comments in this thread. I'm not trying to antagonize, and I deeply apologize if this post offends or upsets anyone. I just don't want anyone to feel so burnt out that we forget they're human, too. <3
I'm not trying to say I don't care about any of them, I didn't mean to imply I use everyone and have no feelings for any of them. Some of them I feel I have gotten to know and actually like. But they are the ones that understand I'm working and just like to talk to me when noone else is in the room, go quiet when they see I'm talking to someone else trying to make a living, and take me private once in awhile. It's the ones that become pushy, try to manipulate me, and make me feel bad that I don't like. I try to be a good camgirl and not just talk to them only when I think they can pay, but some just try to take advantage of that.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
hyori
I don't know if it's because I'm Asian that I get these kinds of men. It must be racial or something.
I don't think it's that, I literally get 2-3 guys a day who are like this, and I'm not Asian. I think it's more of a look some of us present. I am nice to everyone, even those who say they don't have money I still will talk with because many come back in the future and tip, I respond to messages, and I have a "nice girl" image so I always felt like that is why I get so many of them. They think because I am nice and not completely money oriented that they can take advantage of me.