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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
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Originally Posted by
PrincessfromHell
They stop spending, I stop "loving".
^This. This is how I handle the GFE aspect of camming. I sell my KIK. If someone who has my kik stops coming into my room and stops tipping, I stop talking to them on KIK. (I also try to be understanding. You've been an amazing regular for a while, but you say you aren't tipping now because you're low on funds, need a break, whatever. Cool. You did right by me for a long time, I appreciate it, and I can understand. But there is a time limit on understanding - when you stop being a customer, I stop providing you with a service.)
I am actually considering changing my KIK to be part of a GFE package I will offer that you have to subscribe to because of this. You tip x amount, you get one month of the package. Time is up, you tip again, or we breaking up, yo.
If they hit me with the, "I love you," "I thought we were real friends." "I thought I was different." I tell them, "No. I treat everyone the same. How I -feel-, if I feel anything, does not matter, because this is a business." Furthermore, if you really love me or were really my friend, you'd want to help show your support or at least respect my boundaries and business rules.
In the beginning with everyone unless they explicitly ask for a sugar baby or escort (in which case the answer is immediate no), I assume they are not unintelligent and know that I won't meet them and do not actually love them. I assume it is just a fantasy for them, and if they pay for it, I indulge their fantasy. If they start making me uncomfortable, or I begin to think, "he may be serious," I remind them, I don't meet off site, that I am not currently comfortable with the idea at all, and -IF- I ever do, it will be done in the form of a raffle.
How you handle it is up to you to decide. What are -you- comfortable with? If you don't like entertaining it, don't. If you like it a little, but have difficulty speaking up when it's gone t0o far for you, then work on that or don't offer it.
For me this is still one of the most difficult parts of camming because, yes, some guys use this to try and take advantage of you, but some just genuinely want a pretty girl to talk to and fantasize about. But if they want a pretty girl to talk to for free - whyyy the eff they go to a cam site?
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
What they ask for isn't what they really want, what they really want is to feel like they're so much more special than all the other guys and that's represented by getting something that they think no one else will. Free time, free extras, phone number, meeting irl., but what they're really looking for is someone to prop up their ego in lieu of having internally generated self confidence. No matter what they get, it's never enough to satisfy their entitlement and control issues. They are thirsty fuckers and nothing will satisfy them.
Boundaries are important for our sanity, but they also provide a handy alarm system. Anyone who tries to cross them after being told what the rules are is a controlling twit, and won't ever be worth the money you get for putting up with them. If you successfully block them from controlling you one way, they'll try another way, constantly trying to step over the line.
State your boundaries clearly, and if he steps over them block him. Save your energy for the great guys who respect your boundaries and your business.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
^^ Absolute truth. Amen, hallelujah. So, what if you have blocked them and they just keep coming back with different names. I am afraid now of doing privates because I think this guy will keep showing up. He wears me out and I can't go back on cam after. So bad for business and he likes wearing me out for his own selfish ego. Goddamn wtf why is this happening. I'm fucking raising my rates again until he disappears.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
hyori
It is never love. These fucking idiots who have a 20 year marriage and multiple children who are too chicken to get divorces are so deluded and addicted to the fantasy that I perform for their pleasure that it makes me feel total disgust at their stupidity.
I'm not fucking real! I don't have multiple ear shattering orgasms in a span of 10 minutes but I will if there is enough money thrown at me!
I am lying about their looks and I find their cocks gross! The sight of their face makes me want to vomit! How can they claim to love their wives and continue to live in such bullshit? They need to get their fucking priorities straight and stop making me their addiction. I am sick and tired of being blamed for "playing with their emotions" and being a "man eater". Just fuck off already. Leave me the fuck alone and work on doing something productive with your pathetic life! God fucking dammit.
ummm I think I love you?:heartbeat #girlcrushin
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Im having issues with guys telling me they wanna meet me in person....on aw they think im in UK, so they keep asking me to meet and exchange phone numbers and all.I am afraid of saying no and then lose the client and if i say yes, they push it to make it happen. how should i deal with this? pls any input or ideas are welcome. ty
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Sylvy are these your regs or randoms? If regs twll them yoh are not in the UK but when you 'are' then you will do dinner or shopping meets for x amount and does not involve sex in any way and it will be in full D/s role. If random then just ignore. May be work putting a little something on your profile advising that you are not in the uk and dont do meets x
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
malika, i am with a group on aw because being an outsider wouldnt get me many custies as they do mostly their search on uk, and so, i wasnt very popular. I joined a group and now its easier to guys find me and im making more money, so they think im in uk, if i say im not, many will flee as it happeed before whe i used to tell them im in brasil. so i cant, some are regs, some are random, but im concerned becs these random could be regulars one day.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Happened to me. An older creepy looking dude kept bothering me in free chat for days on end without buying a show then he finally goes private. I guess this guy thought he could claim me after spending $20 in one fucking show. He kept showing up in free chat every day, telling me he was glad to be my "man". I asked him if he was in the mood to play, he said he had bills to pay but he would be glad to "sit" with me in free chat. I had to tell this weirdo that he lives over seas and he is older than Jesus so there is no way it could ever work. Plus I was trying to do my job and I had my own bills to pay. He got butthurt and went on about how he was only a number to me and I only wanted his money the entire time. I never even mislead this creepy asshole. I even told him that I would ban him for being annoying before he took me private. Long story short he told me to have a nice life and fucked off somewhere else. From now on I will ban a client for being creepy the first time around. Not worth the headache.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
but my guys arent creepy, on fact they are very sweet and all of them were payers, so i dont wanna lose them.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SylvySinclair
malika, i am with a group on aw because being an outsider wouldnt get me many custies as they do mostly their search on uk, and so, i wasnt very popular. I joined a group and now its easier to guys find me and im making more money, so they think im in uk, if i say im not, many will flee as it happeed before whe i used to tell them im in brasil. so i cant, some are regs, some are random, but im concerned becs these random could be regulars one day.
You are showing as being located in Brazil and your nationality is showing as Brazilian. That's the bit that people search on, if they filter by Nationality etc. So you're still being found as "an outsider".
Who told you that people will think you're in UK if you joined that group?
I would think that guys would be more put off by the "UK" in your profile name when they find out you aren't.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
CatBBW
You are showing as being located in Brazil and your nationality is showing as Brazilian. That's the bit that people search on, if they filter by Nationality etc. So you're still being found as "an outsider".
Who told you that people will think you're in UK if you joined that group?
I would think that guys would be more put off by the "UK" in your profile name when they find out you aren't.
When u do the search on aw by uk girls, the group comes up and then they dont go to my profile (most of the time) to read it, they just click group or private. I know that because every client that i get now, i ask how he came across my profile and most of them say: i did a uk search. the UK name is something the group owner has us use. all girls. and yes, im getting more traffic now than when i was one abandoned brazilian forgotten in the middle of that site. so for me is working, and its not abt prejudice of guys, i found out that english guys are very friendly towards other nationalities, is just abt doig a search on other countries that they dont do.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Wow! This thread is really divided! Im actually not on the same side as Hyori on this one!! This is so bizarre to me!!! I have like flat out agree'd with every single thing you ever typed on this forum until now.
These guys who love me......there is so much I want to say here but I dont want to out myself so much so let me just say that I love these guys! If they "love me" and they dont spend a dime then they dont get my attention but if they love me and they spend I suck them dry. I never ever even eluded to loving them back but I just keep milking them until they become freeloaders and then they go on my ignore list.
I sleep like a baby at night btw.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DeepThoughts
Wow! This thread is really divided! Im actually not on the same side as Hyori on this one!! This is so bizarre to me!!! I have like flat out agree'd with every single thing you ever typed on this forum until now.
These guys who love me......there is so much I want to say here but I dont want to out myself so much so let me just say that I love these guys! If they "love me" and they dont spend a dime then they dont get my attention but if they love me and they spend I suck them dry. I never ever even eluded to loving them back but I just keep milking them until they become freeloaders and then they go on my ignore list.
I sleep like a baby at night btw.
I guess it just all semantically depends on how someone is defining love. Romantic love? Long-term monogamous partner? Friends with benefits love?
I know that the guys who say they love me don't really love me because the persona that I play on cam is not the person I am in real life so therefore logically there is no way that they can love me since they have never met the real me. At best, they are 'in love' with an illusion.
I supposed that if you were 90-100% the 'real' you while you were on camera it is more then possible that guys could actually fall in love with you but then again it all depends how you are defining the word love. ;)
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
these guys are lonely guys most of the time, so they create an illusion that that person which is giving him attention (money interest) loves him for that, so they create this fantasy to feel happy and this is ok. if it wasnt like this, we wouldnt have clients nd we would be poor by now. the thing is that when they take that serious it can be a pain, we cant give infos to talk outside the platform, i told them that, yet, they send me emails on aw sending their personal emails and phone.....grr i just pretend i didnt see it, but then they push it until u have to say something, which i dont like to, as i dont wat to lose them, after all they are good customers.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SylvySinclair
they send me emails on aw sending their personal emails and phone.....grr i just pretend i didnt see it, but then they push it until u have to say something, which i dont like to, as i dont wat to lose them, after all they are good customers.
Girl, you're domme. Get into character if you need to, and set your boundaries. Tell them no, and turn the conversation back in topic. Some good phrases:
1. "No."
2. "This is not a matter for discussion. Now, about your behaviour..."
3. "Meeting is not an option. So, how will you serve Me today?"
4. "You are topping from the bottom, it is not acceptable. What do you have to say for yourself?"
If they whine, just repeat like a broken record.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
ok, let me explain the matter.....since i started to bid on aw which i didnt do before, they guys would find me when they were searching for dommes, problem is that since i started to bid, i show with all the vanilla girls and they enter my room without even reading, but once there, i start a normal convo, which remains a convo, not a domme session, and i have them in my paid chat just chatting......understood now where the (in love) come from? now, after a normal chat where they entered willing a nude show, which they dont get, but im making money by just chatting, how unpolite can i be?
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
As long as they are only talking to me through appropriate channels and haven't found me or aren't making trouble just let them think you love them too. It's a fantasy and the name of the game is to make money from a fantasy. Not your problem if they fall in "love". At that point I would be super into it, they will let go of a lot of money then. I had a man in the past I would tell him I wanted to date him when I thought he was expiring. I was lable to squeeze a couple more months of regular shows until he disappeared. Men are adults, I can't be responsible for their inability to understand that cam models and strippers and escorts will never date them. Age old delimma, strippers milk it. I do too.
Bringing in subs I also attract more sensitive men too. The ones who likely don't get lots of attention and find my domineering attitude hot. I take each man and try to psychoanalyze them and just like a sales person, I use their feedback to certain questions against them and to my monetary advantage. By against them I mean, take as much money as I can.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
I love it when they claim to love you for years, but only rate you 5 stars once in awhile when you sufficiently faked it to their satisfaction or stroked their ego.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
FUCK LOVE, GIVE ME MONEY!.. what is love anyways? hardly any man knows what love is.. they think love is looking at every skirt that walks by.. jumping ship when they are dissatisfied with your body or mood.. on cam or IRL.. what loyalty do they have? call me cynical but that's a man's nature.. I find men to be super selfish.. once they feel they have no use for you they are done with you.. even if they are married to you for 20 yrs!.. something else better comes along and now you are the ex.. (no never been married.) just pure speculation from watching other people's relationships.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
I LOVE the word NO.. I have been saying NO a lot lately without any explanation.. really shuts them up.. I haven't felt like I need to explain away myself to anyone these days like I have my entire life.. .. Just NO
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DancesWithSloths
Girl, you're domme. Get into character if you need to, and set your boundaries. Tell them no, and turn the conversation back in topic. Some good phrases:
1. "No."
2. "This is not a matter for discussion. Now, about your behaviour..."
3. "Meeting is not an option. So, how will you serve Me today?"
4. "You are topping from the bottom, it is not acceptable. What do you have to say for yourself?"
If they whine, just repeat like a broken record.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
clients who claim to be in love, thats the sweetest thing :)
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Ladies, you know what we are and what they are. They are customers who pay your bills. This is your business. If you ran a cleaning service would you allow a client to stop paying you and clean his dirty ass home for free because he's in love?
Be careful. If you're GFE, offer the best GFE but make it clear that you're still about your business. If you lose their money, oh well- another client will be right behind him. At the end of the day, this is still our business, if they fall, they fall and it sucks because it could be a huge damper with income but if they're falling I say you're doing something right. Milk the cow while he's there.
If a guy is in love, he's willing to spend that much more and you soak it up until it's time to move on. Don't be a sucker and fall right back, the ones who claim they love you are often the 1st to guilt trip you into letting them have discounted or free sessions. Beware of the hotties with the charm, they'll charm their money back into their wallets which is what we don't want to happen. I just cut off the hottest Australian GAWD because he fell hard and I couldn't deal with the guilt trips, the "you treat me just like your other customers" and "I feel used paying you when I love you" bullshit rhetoric.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
KortneyKay,
You are so right about the charmers who fall with really hard. I had to cut off my Sugar Daddy last year because he fell so hard and want me to move in with him. :( When your sugar daddy say that he is falling in love with you.....than that is a kiss of death for your income :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
kortneykay
Ladies, you know what we are and what they are. They are customers who pay your bills. This is your business. If you ran a cleaning service would you allow a client to stop paying you and clean his dirty ass home for free because he's in love?
Be careful. If you're GFE, offer the best GFE but make it clear that you're still about your business. If you lose their money, oh well- another client will be right behind him. At the end of the day, this is still our business, if they fall, they fall and it sucks because it could be a huge damper with income but if they're falling I say you're doing something right. Milk the cow while he's there.
If a guy is in love, he's willing to spend that much more and you soak it up until it's time to move on. Don't be a sucker and fall right back, the ones who claim they love you are often the 1st to guilt trip you into letting them have discounted or free sessions. Beware of the hotties with the charm, they'll charm their money back into their wallets which is what we don't want to happen. I just cut off the hottest Australian GAWD because he fell hard and I couldn't deal with the guilt trips, the "you treat me just like your other customers" and "I feel used paying you when I love you" bullshit rhetoric.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
I had many of them, they all eventually stop paying, but still claiming to be in love. All they want is free stuff. Last night, my best paying custie and who was there since I started camming came to my room and sit there to talk, in free chat, without spending a dime, about how lonely he was, how sad he was, how bad his misery was, completely killing the mood, FOR FREE. I used to put up with that because he was actually a good paying member, not anymore. He became a frog, and this not necessarily happen overnight, but ALWAYS happen, eventually.
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Re: Dealing with Clients who claim to be in love
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DonaDiabla
KortneyKay,
You are so right about the charmers who fall with really hard. I had to cut off my Sugar Daddy last year because he fell so hard and want me to move in with him. :( When your sugar daddy say that he is falling in love with you.....than that is a kiss of death for your income :)
Girl, yes! These guys are a trip. Like really? You knew what it was from day 1. They change on you and guilt trip and trap you into feeling some type of way. No sir. Business is business. But man does it suck when they try to gain control and cut you off because they don't want to pay someone they love. Fuck that noise!
My 1st SD pulled that one on me. He fell hard and wanted me to meet his family, go on cruises with him, move in, blah blah but at the time I was just starting out as a cammodel and refused to meet. Once that happened, after about 6 months that money dried all the way up. He wanted to get me an apartment and have it so he could come by and visit anytime- like pump the breaks! A woman needs her OWN space.
He would occasionally spoil me over the years but it wasn't the same. We've kept in touch and he actually wants to rekindle things. This time I'm ready to sugar but we're waiting on him to finish up some patents to secure his earnings a bit more. Things are different for both of us now so I'm willing to give it a shot. Man, these men are a fucking trip. And they have the nerve to try and guilt trip you because you don't reciprocate their feelings. Ugh.