-
Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
I'm new to being a sugar baby and I'm talking to a potential sugar daddy from SA. (seeking arrangements) and he is a musician and wants to keep his identity a secret. On his profile it says he makes 200k a year and he lives in a relatively expensive area (meaning I know he has bills). He seems very respectful. Question is, how much should I ask for based on his income? He lives a 2 hour plane-ride away. Most likely he will fly me in, and the plane ticket should be no more than $200. Since he also wants his identity to be kept secret, most likely he will get me a hotel rather have me over.
1. How much should I ask? Is it based on purely how much I want or should I consider his annual salary (assuming his profile is accurate as far as his income)
2. Should I ask for cash on top of shopping, manicure, hair etc or is that usually included?
3. Should I ask for a monthly amount and get it all at once or do I get the money on each meeting?
Thank you in advance
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Hi, try a search, if you look @ the bottom of this page, under where it says reply to thread, you'll see a thick black border w/white lettering saying similar threads. You can also type in sugar baby or other phrases & come up info. There's also Sb info in other sections of this forum.
Have you screened him at all?I'd be much more concerned w/my personal safety. People are not always what they seem, especially on the internet, & unfortunately there are many incidences of assault & rape. I recently read a story about an sb that have been on several dates w/her sd everything seemed ok until he got really drunk, then viciously attacked/raped, & nearly killed her. Honestly, it sounds shady, he wants to keep his identity a secret, he's from another area, S/A's kinda iffy for the most part, I would proceed w/extreme caution.
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Don't. You're wasting your time. You should never have gotten to a point with this guy where you're discussing flying to him without ever agreeing on an allowance. Bring up an allowance in the first few messages. You might be able to make some money if you live in a big city. But in my experience trying to find an SD online is a waste of time. If you have the looks and the personality, try meeting someone irl.
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
CamBabe
1. How much should I ask? Is it based on purely how much I want or should I consider his annual salary (assuming his profile is accurate as far as his income)
2. Should I ask for cash on top of shopping, manicure, hair etc or is that usually included?
3. Should I ask for a monthly amount and get it all at once or do I get the money on each meeting?
Thank you in advance
Getting money per meeting is escort territory. You want a monthly allowance.
As for how much you should ask for, you shouldn't be asking anyone this question.
You should know this because only YOU know your financial situation and how much you NEED.
I always tack on $1000 on top of that amount for... um.... yeah.
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Something doesn't sound right to me, but I have a few questions before I go into it:
1) How long have you and the gentleman been chatting?
2) How are you communicating with him? By phone?
3) Has he offered to fly you out or are you just supposing?
4) Is he married or otherwise attached?
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Thanks for the feedback everyone, I'm also a full time cam girl so my expenses and everything is always paid for on my own, this sugar baby thing is only for extra money. Ideally we want to milk as much as possible (right girls?? Lol) but I wanted a number and see how much I can ask for without scaring one away.
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
The guys in LA seemed to run at anymore than $300 for several hours including sex. They want an amount that is cheaper than an escort, but my escort rate is $700. I did find a couple who paid a lot because I was their ideal woman, but they always contacted me first and were the most serious men on the sites.
Many men paid a higher amount for the first date of the arrangement after a dinner meeting or two, and then disappeared. They like to tell you what you want to hear (an ongoing arrangement agreement) but don't follow through. A lot of con artists and delusional men on those sites who think they are above hiring escorts and refuse to pay the going rate for the same thing. I do much better in person at upscale events.
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
penny25
Don't. You're wasting your time. You should never have gotten to a point with this guy where you're discussing flying to him without ever agreeing on an allowance. Bring up an allowance in the first few messages. You might be able to make some money if you live in a big city. But in my experience trying to find an SD online is a waste of time. If you have the looks and the personality, try meeting someone irl.
You can read the thread I wrote. Most men are very eager to plan a meeting, 100% will text you back immediately until you bring up money. Then half will call you a gold digger or whore, 40% won't reply anymore, 5% will meet and try to not pay you or short you to your face and tell you that you don't deserve that much or extend time, 4% will pay you having agreed to the arrangement and then disappear forever after sex 1 time, and 1% are legit. My experience.
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Whether you get money per meeting or per month is up to you. But eventually try to get them to do it per month because you don't have to worry about getting money multiple times/mo vs 1 time/mo.
Think of all your monthly expenses - write them down and now you have numbers to work with and this what you want to be covered.
If you're worried the numbers are too high and may scare him away you can always start by asking him to cover say a car note bill etc. and then work your way up. (just don't ever sleep with him for less than what quality local escorts charge hourly) This is also called foot in the door technique in selling. If they agree to smaller requests they are likely to agree to larger request in the future.
If he is expecting to be your only sugar daddy then he will have to understand you have expenses he will have to cover if he wants time with you.
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
red.velvet
You can read the thread I wrote. Most men are very eager to plan a meeting, 100% will text you back immediately until you bring up money. Then half will call you a gold digger or whore, 40% won't reply anymore, 5% will meet and try to not pay you or short you to your face and tell you that you don't deserve that much or extend time, 4% will pay you having agreed to the arrangement and then disappear forever after sex 1 time, and 1% are legit. My experience.
I've used SA and had similar experiences. Big empty promises but no talk of a set allowance. I don't let them take up my time without agreeing on an allowance which I bring up within a few messages. If they agree, great I set up a dinner date and tell them what I expect for it. If not I saved both of us time. Do you have your face pics up on SA? Or did you share your face pics with people on SA via messages? Were you concerned about them linking your SA account to your escort ad?
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
penny25
I've used SA and had similar experiences. Big empty promises but no talk of a set allowance. I don't let them take up my time without agreeing on an allowance which I bring up within a few messages. If they agree, great I set up a dinner date and tell them what I expect for it. If not I saved both of us time. Do you have your face pics up on SA? Or did you share your face pics with people on SA via messages? Were you concerned about them linking your SA account to your escort ad?
I would never use face pics in any kind of adult advertising. Not even blurred. I'm part Asian and I hate to say it but it makes a big difference since many people stereotype Asians to look the same. I use that to my advantage
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
penny25
Don't. You're wasting your time. You should never have gotten to a point with this guy where you're discussing flying to him without ever agreeing on an allowance. Bring up an allowance in the first few messages. You might be able to make some money if you live in a big city. But in my experience trying to find an SD online is a waste of time. If you have the looks and the personality, try meeting someone irl.
^^Yes! 99.9% of online sugar daddy websites are a huge scam. The men who go on these websites are usually the biggest scumbags. I had a legit sugar daddy a few years ago, and I met him in the strip club I worked at. Honestly, that's probably your best way to go about finding one. Either that, or go to a place where rich men frequently go to (upscale shopping centers, restaurants/bars, country clubs, etc). And yes, it's better to discuss things like allowances sooner than later. Use your best judgment. Don't agree to too much too soon if your not clear with him on what YOU expect!
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
red.velvet
I would never use face pics in any kind of adult advertising. Not even blurred. I'm part Asian and I hate to say it but it makes a big difference since many people stereotype Asians to look the same. I use that to my advantage
How did your typical meet with someone from SD go? Did you send them pics of other girls who look like you and set up a date? Or were you able to set dates with random blurred face pics.
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
penny25
How did your typical meet with someone from SD go? Did you send them pics of other girls who look like you and set up a date? Or were you able to set dates with random blurred face pics.
I met majority of my sugar daddies in person at places where rich men gather. They approach me, usually commenting about something in our surroundings. I've noticed that for them to transition the chat into something more, they will ask me on a date right away or sometimes compliment me on my long legs and see how I take it. Sometimes they make ignorant comments about how I'm "supposed" to look because I have asian facial features but long legs and blonde hair. I grin and bear it and tell myself this is their fantasy so play along.
The key is that they are pursuing me, I would never pursue them. The biggest mistake girls are making is that they are wasting time trying to get men interested. It doesn't work like that. You have to wait for them to pursue you whether in person or online, otherwise it won't work out. The man is the consumer, you are the product so all you can do is control your body and the way you carry yourself to see if the consumer wants to purchase your product. The last thing rich men want is to be chased by someone who will be asking for a large amount of money.
Living in LA, I notice that the hook seems to be during the dinner date when I give them my old modeling name to google. I never mention it beforehand because I want to add to the shock value and seem modest so they don't think I'm a gold digger. Money is my top priority but I'd never tell that to a man. I have done some nice shoots but they are old now and I work a normal day job. Men don't care because they see me as a walking model. We know modeling doesn't pay much and most of these nice published shoots paid me something like $300 or no pay in exchange for publishing rights. Men don't care because they still view me through the lens of "model" and then comment about how I'm so hard working with my day job because I could have taken the easy way out and "just modeled"; they don't realize that elite models don't make much unless they are contracted with a company like VS. Its a lie they tell themselves and I won't bother to correct them. In fact I never correct them because that's the last thing you want to try and do to a wealthy man. They want the girl with model looks that dated them or denied them in high school. That's all they care about and that's my hook. I'm not their wife, why would they care about anything more? They care about looks and class. They want the best of everything. Having a day job is usually icing on the cake to push the facade that I'm not a gold digger. They are usually at work when I am anyway. Its worked well so far.
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Well, that sounds great for you, but what about those of us that don't have a modeling 'hook' or something similar?
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
whirlerz
Well, that sounds great for you, but what about those of us that don't have a modeling 'hook' or something similar?
I can't give advice for something I have no experience with. I answered the question that was asked of me. I can say that men are most phobic against gold diggers and overweight women. If you have a day job that pays decently and you work hard at, and you lower your caloric intake to make sure you do not become overweight, then you should have very little problems. Dress well. Emulate the only movie stars mannerisms. The market for sugaring and escorting is completely saturated, so competition is stiff.
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
There is no shortage of lonely men with money. I have found success in hooking them emotionally. Whatever it is they are seeking I become.
Little things, listening as they go on about their wife/kids/work. Or knowing about books/accounting/law.
Even just a surface knowledge, so you can come up with a comment or two to show your on the wave length. Warm, affectionate company that thinks they are great, listens and takes their clothes off on command? Yeah that's not so easy to find.
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
amberlly
There is no shortage of lonely men with money. I have found success in hooking them emotionally. Whatever it is they are seeking I become.
Little things, listening as they go on about their wife/kids/work. Or knowing about books/accounting/law.
Even just a surface knowledge, so you can come up with a comment or two to show your on the wave length. Warm, affectionate company that thinks they are great, listens and takes their clothes off on command? Yeah that's not so easy to find.
That's true but any provider you talk to will tell you the market is on a downward decline. Escorts could easily charge $1,000 per hour 10 years ago and now escorts with the same stats are only charging $300. You can charge more, like what I do, but I am also very low volume and have published credits which makes it easier to charge more, kind of like what porn stars do.
If you look at the trends, inflation is going up and profit per hour is going down. What girls do now is exactly what they were doing 10 years ago but that didn't stop profits from going down for everyone. What you described, in my opinion, is very much common sense and how every escort acts.
Money isn't online anymore. Not even in escort ads. The real money is to be made from meeting these wealthy men is through organic, in person means. Why in person? Meeting in person is essential so you know the man hasn't been been exposed to the average going rate for an escort or sugarbaby. I knew this already, but it was reinforced to me when I signed up for sugaring sites with 3 different profiles (different personas) where I learned, after 4 or 5 months, that 99% of men on there refused to pay for more than the average going rate of an escort in my area. They all wanted a bargain without explicitly saying that, or even implying. Men know the market rate for sex if they are doing anything related to sexwork online (buying escorts, looking for sugarbabies online, and more) and they don't want to pay more than market rate. If they do, it will be only once.
What wealthy man wants to pay $1,500 when he knows he can get a slew of different girls with the same stats for $300? Wealthy men don't get rich off spending excessive amounts of money.
Same with escorting. I can't charge $700 per hour and expect to be high volume. That would never happen. I have published modeling credits and that still will never happen. The only men, in large volumes, who would be willing to avidly pay this rate are either men who have never been exposed to sex prices online, or men who are willing to pay a very established agency extra because they know they'll never get busted.
The days of internet money are over. Yeah you might be able to work your ass off, work most days every single week, and barely clear $100,000 if you're diligent and dedicated. But why not clear the same amount working 4 days per month for a couple hours? Work smarter not harder.
If you want to escort, you should invest in your body, lower your caloric intake, get a handful of professional shoots
EDITED
That's the honest truth. Now, like I said I primarily get my clients organically in person, as a sugarbaby. That is where most of my money comes from.
EDITED
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
With online sugaring sites, the men were often misogynistic, controlling (why they like giving gifts instead of large amount of money), or white knights that spend no money. Many were on there treating it like a dating site where they wanted everything for free with a woman half their age and 1/3 their weight.
Most of these men were not in touch with reality and thought they were above paying for sex in exchange for money, when that is the entire premise of the website they signed up for and messaged me on lol.
Just like escorting, at least half the guys whom I met begged for bareback or tried to force it. One guy tried to take back my money when I wouldn't do bareback.
None of these men would have passed screening by an escort, I can guarantee that. There's a reason why they are on that site and not meeting their sugarbaby in person if they are this wealthy and generous lol
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Ask yourself...
How much money would make a significant difference in my life? (are you doing this for fun, to pay your bills completely, or to pay for luxury expenses in your life?)
How much energy do I have to devote to an SD? (do you have enough energy to have a few SDs, or do you only have the energy for one?)
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Quote:
What wealthy man wants to pay $1,500 when he knows he can get a slew of different girls with the same stats for $300?
For the short time I was on SA I was inundated with requests from escorts for meetings. They requested very small amounts of money. That's who you're competing with online. I can see how guys on SA would quickly become misogynistic and controlling because they are so outnumbered by the women on the site.
Quote:
There's a reason why they are on that site and not meeting their sugarbaby in person if they are this wealthy and generous lol
This is true. It's much easier with less hassle to meet a sugar baby in person. And once I got a reputation it's become even easier. I have women reach out to me via my social media now.
The only downside of setting up an arrangement freestyle is the initial uncomfortable part where you're both trying to figure out whether she's looking to be a regular girlfriend or a sugar baby. Just drop a few not so subtle hints about problems with money. I'll joke about how I could help out with that. Then you semi-joke that it would be a great help and reduce stress in your life. I'll take it from there.
red.velvet, I've noticed more women reaching out to me via social media. Are you using that to find potential clients?
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
NoRegrets
For the short time I was on SA I was inundated with requests from escorts for meetings. They requested very small amounts of money. That's who you're competing with online. I can see how guys on SA would quickly become misogynistic and controlling because they are so outnumbered by the women on the site.
The only downside of setting up an arrangement freestyle is the initial uncomfortable part where you're both trying to figure out whether she's looking to be a regular girlfriend or a sugar baby.
Thanks for these insights. :)
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
red.velvet
None of these men would have passed screening by an escort, I can guarantee that. There's a reason why they are on that site and not meeting their sugarbaby in person if they are this wealthy and generous lol
Yes, ma'am! I've said it a hundred times... there is not a shortage of real life sugar babies if the gentleman in question is who he claims to be. That's why I don't waste my time with sugar sites anymore.
5 years ago, I was young and dumb enough to believe in it, so I went on SA. I met a producer out of Charlotte. He had a few TV credits under his belt and was generous to an extent (it was good enough for a college girl, I guess). But he was fucking insane! Less than a week after we exchanged numbers, we haven't met yet, just chatting on the phone. He started dropping the "L" bomb out of nowhere! I let this go on for a while just for the money and whatever. But seriously. It was creepy as fuck.
So, yeah. Like Red.Velvet said...Those men are on that site for a reason. You're better off freestyling it or escorting.
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
This is my experience, people may not agree, but I was asked to give my opinions above.
If you want to make the most money, you have to look at what that target demographic likes in a woman. The top of sugaring and escorting food chain, with profits, will always be underweight women. Underweight women are a status symbol as guided by American media, so that's what the ultra wealthy see as ideal. Its not attainable for just anyone, which keeps competition low and profits high.
You can go on erotic review or eros and see this. The women with the highest rates are usually underweight. This is why the most important thing anyone can do is eat low calorie and work out daily. That will yield the largest return on investment.
I'm not talking about "thin" because you can still be skinny-fat. I'm also not talking about women with a bigger build. If you're tall and 165 pounds, but you don't look fat, you should still work hard to drop weight because you'll make more with a smaller build. The biggest spenders want a teeny tiny thin leggy woman with varying sizes of breasts and butt. Its not a coincidence that half of the top models out there date billionaires.
Underweight is a status symbol. I'm sorry that this is the way society is, but we have absolutely no way to control the media and this is what the media pushes so that consumers will keep consuming products for the unattainable.
Moral of the story: Thin as possible. Don't develop an eating disorder, but work out daily and watch your calories. The food you eat is important too because a lot of it, even healthy stuff, will bloat you. This is bad for business.
This is just my experiences and what I have seen.
-
Re: Sugar baby, how do I know how much to ask for?
Or, you can be whatever size you want to be and learn to hustle your target market like hell. You may have to work a little harder to find those clients, this is true. But I think there is plenty of sugaring available no matter what size you are as long as you're really fucking pretty, have a great personality, and know how to work it.
Maybe the guys I see are just "redneck rich" (a few million socked away) and not billionaires. That's fine with me, too. I don't chase dreams I don't really want... lol. My worst fear is being a trophy wife. My mother was one and it made her miserable until the day she died.
Am I limiting myself by being a BBW? Of course I am. You are right in that thin women are seen as more attractive, thus getting the top clients. And good for them. Bravo, darlings!
I'm not disagreeing with you entirely... just giving motivation to ladies who don't aspire to that ideal body type.