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You need to get out of there. It sounds like you're in a negative spiral.....you are tuned into negative frequencies that are eating you alive. And the more you are around this negativity, the more negativity will be attracted to you.
Can you stay with a family member or friend for a few days to clear your head and get away from him? He sounds like a total asshole. You deserve better. Start reaching out to family or friends....you need a sanctuary. That is no way to live!
Hell no. How long have you lived there and what sort of rental agreement did you have? Try not to worry about things that haven't happened yet - that's the worst way to bring unnecessary stress on yourself.
In my mind he owes you for cheating and carrying on behind your back for years and for not being a man an being a snake and a liar. The least he could do is give you a bit of time to find and move to a new place. But please do not try to communicate with this guy or get closure - he's just not going to do it. Take a break, stay calm, and focus on taking good care of yourself.
If I were you I'd move into a hotel/extended stay like right now. If that's not feasible then give yourself 30 day timeframe to get the hell outta there. He can't throw you out if you leave first. And if you need to consult with a lawyer (most will Do initial consult free) to see what kind of rights you have as a renter in your area.
You need to get out ASAP. You need distance both physically and mentally, and you cannot do that while staying in the same place.
A string of friends couches is better than this.
Trust me it will get better, but right now you are watching that slow motion car wreck over and over and over and to get it to stop you must be in a different location
There are infinite positive possibilities out there, go find them
Small steps. What can you do right now to feel ok?
Agree w above posters advice.
But try plugging in headphones and listening to upbeat music. Go on a walk.
Just some small thing to help shift your energy.
Stop trying to "talk to him" and get out asap. He's not going to talk to you right now. I know that's harsh, and I also know that it's shitty on his part, but it's the truth. When you decide to end things with someone, even if you were the one being a shady asshole (and when I say "you," I'm referring to him), you cease wanting to talk about things. In his mind, it's over over. There's nothing to discuss, there's nothing more to tell you right now, and there's no sense in getting into a conversation that 1) will only make you feel worse because his answers/reasoning won't change and 2) will probably only make him feel worse for making you feel worse and making him rehash the shitty way things have gone down.
The more you push and say that you "just want to talk," the more he's going to refuse, see you as needy/desperate/annoying, and then probably make it sooner that he'll be the one to kick you out instead of you leaving of your own accord. I'm TRULY not trying to be a bitch here. I just hate to see you throwing yourself at someone who is only hurting you more every time you give him that opening, when I've been through this cycle (on both sides) more than enough times to know that he's not going to budge, feel sorry for you or anything that he's done right now, and you're only stunting your own grieving process by staying stuck in this one spot (both physically and emotionally). As much as you say that he once cared about you, that's not where he's at right now. And I know how much that SUCKS, but even if you get an apology or explanation or adult conversation out of him some day, you're not in that phase yet. And you won't be until you've separated from him and moved on.
Stop trying to squeeze blood from a stone, and just ignore him as well while you focus solely on getting out the door. Even if that means a friend's couch for a few weeks or a dumpy motel until you can put down a deposit elsewhere. Go into a temporary "all men are assholes including him" mindset if that's the only thing that will help you get out and focus on draining money from customers. (I'm not saying stay in that mindset permanently, but anger is a step up emotionally from depression, and will help you be able to climb the emotional ladder further later). You'll have time and distance to grieve properly once you're away, but that's never going to truly happen if you keep stuck in this daily cycle of misery with him right in front of your face.
Stop defending him and move out. He chose someone else, not you. That sucks a lot, but that's the situation right now. You'll feel so much better once you're out and not dealing with his cheating etc anymore. Believe that.