Re: Convincing my husband to let me cam...again. Seek advice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Glamourmilf
Not to derail this thread or anything, but how? How do You tell friends, and not have them want to talk about it constantly?
Do You just tell them to change the subject?
Cause I fail so hard at this.
I've had so much judgement from people I've told, AND that's all they want to talk about.
The people that don't know, are the best. I can have deep, and real conversations with them.
All the others treat me like some diseased animal.
Yeah, I get that it can be a struggle for sure. I think, for me personally it comes down to- if they don't respect my decision then why would I want to have them in my life anyway?? They don't have to like it, but they do have to respect it. I have plenty of real and deep conversation with people who are in my life and know what I do for a living, but it's because they know me for me not because they know me for being that camgirl. It's a job like any other job in my mind and I'm the only one that needs to approve of my choices, in the end.
As far as the OP's husband debate going on.. here's my 2 cents. I think that it is perfectly acceptable to take into consideration the reservations that your husband has. One of the most important parts of a healthy relationship, in my opinion, is being able to talk about your concerns and your limits and compromise and respect each other. So I don't think that having a husband who you talk about possibly camming with and have them tell you they aren't comfortable with it is him being controlling or trying to tell you what you can and cannot do. It would be different if you were camming beforehand and he came in your life and tried to tell you to change careers but that isn't the case. I would never have even considered camming if my boyfriend told me that he wasn't comfortable with it, because I love and respect him and want to make sure that any decisions that I make won't affect him negatively since I choose to spend my life with him.
By the logic of him being controlling and should just be fine with whatever she does is a little like saying that if he got a job that picked up and moved across the country in 2 weeks, or if he was the sole provider for the family and decided to quit his job that supported them, that she wouldn't have any say in whether or not their whole lives were uprooted and changed... and personally, that is someone that I wouldn't want to be with. I would expect them to take me into consideration and make a decision with me.
Re: Convincing my husband to let me cam...again. Seek advice.
YOu have to convince your husband? I didn't even asks mine for permission to enter into camming in the first place. I just did it. We had been married for 11 years before I started camming. He was not happy about it when I finally admitted it to him that I was doing this. But he learned to live with it and accept it. Our marriage nearly ended, but we are working on it. He knows its something I want to do and something that makes me happy so he lets me live my life and do what I wanna do because he knows what I'm doing is safe and from the comfort of our home and he is still my #1 love. Hopefully your husband lets you do the same.
Re: Convincing my husband to let me cam...again. Seek advice.
Susperia If she was 100% she wants to cam then she would be camming. I haven't read the whole post, but I am pretty sure she is not decided wether to cam or not.
For the OP if you are looking to take a break from the "real" world and do camming just for a bit you could disguise yourself, but if you want to do more out of this, for a couple of years it is not going to work. If you want real money for long term period and want to go on an upper trend with money you gotta be you, not other version of yourself will do as good as you. If you don't think you're ready for this just don't do it.
Re: Convincing my husband to let me cam...again. Seek advice.
I have dealt with this kind of situation with my boyfriend for the best part of 5 years and I have done camming plus escorting in that time (I was an escort when we first met so he was aware going in what life with me would entail) I'm in the UK so it's all legal here and he was my driver for an agency I worked at. Past history aside he was extremely against me going back to escorting and then camming a couple of years later, I now do both simultaneously and he is the most supportive man I've ever met I don't know how/why he puts up with my work. However he hasn't always been like that and we have had vicious verbal bouts of frustration regarding sex work, it boils down to whether you think money is more important than your relationship... I'm almost ashamed to say that it was for me I was accustomed to a certain lifestyle and I wouldn't give it up.
I was lucky in that my boyfriend is a lot older than me and as such more mature than say some boy my age might be about the whole situation and we came to a number of agreements regarding all facets of my work, relationships are about compromise and he has decided to do this in order to stay with me. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone but I won't change how I've lived all these years just because a man came along and I fell in love. You have to be willing to lose him to see if he will stay, I wish you luck.
Re: Convincing my husband to let me cam...again. Seek advice.
If you are grown up enough to cam you don't need permission to cam.
Re: Convincing my husband to let me cam...again. Seek advice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Glamourmilf
Not to derail this thread or anything, but how? How do You tell friends, and not have them want to talk about it constantly?
Do You just tell them to change the subject?
Cause I fail so hard at this.
I've had so much judgement from people I've told, AND that's all they want to talk about.
The people that don't know, are the best. I can have deep, and real conversations with them.
All the others treat me like some diseased animal.
I have told my family (now THAT was a life experience...thank god I only have to do it once), and about 1/2 of my friends. I do it on a case-by-case basis. I have a lot of close friends that are my parents' friends as well (I was a weird little kid, they treated me like a very short adult who couldn't drink, so I am genuinely friends with a lot of people who are my parents' age) and I don't tell them because I know my parents would hate knowing that their friends know. People my age(ish) mostly know. I have one close friend who doesn't, because I know she is a bit religious and I love her dearly and would rather not deal with that at this time.
When they decide they want to talk about it, I do a HUUUUUUUUGE sigh and eyeroll and describe annoying time wasters and the time I took a bath in a tub full of beans, the boredom of waiting for results of an STD test to film with another girl, and dealing with trolls and DMCAing videos of my asshole that I found on PornHub. Then I say "aren't you glad you asked? Enjoy the mental image of thousands of men jerking it to my asshole for free". That usually shuts them up. Or if you don't want to get graphic, just say "you know, if we talk about my work, we have to talk about your work, and lord knows I love hearing about cover sheets and faxing and email signatures, but why don't we just not."
Re: Convincing my husband to let me cam...again. Seek advice.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Glamourmilf
Not to derail this thread or anything, but how? How do You tell friends, and not have them want to talk about it constantly?
Do You just tell them to change the subject?
Cause I fail so hard at this.
I've had so much judgement from people I've told, AND that's all they want to talk about.
The people that don't know, are the best. I can have deep, and real conversations with them.
All the others treat me like some diseased animal.
Eventually the newness will wear off. Go on & on about all the boring parts, don't feed into them wanting the weird stories & negative crap. Especially considering on cam the most thing we often do is say "hello". Every job has it's good & bad side, start quizing them about their jobs. Start intarigating them like they are you.
Those who can't love or accept you for YOU, who judge you do to just a job. At that point, you need to ask yourself how good of a friend are they really? Do they really love you? Cause, no matter what those types are only waiting time before they stab you in the back. EVERYONE watches sex, just about everyone masturbates, everyone has had sex outside of marriage. They are all sinners as much as you are so how dare they judge you.
I would be offended that they were so judging & negative. Then I know ALL the skeletons in my friends closets, ain't none of my friends Angels, so I didn't have any issues at all. In fact, not only does all my family & friends know & love/support my decisions. So do all my friend's family members have my back,talking about cousins, grandparents, siblings. Been to their family reunions.
Who the fuck are they to judge you? People who judge & pretend to be better than everyone else usually have way worst things in their past they are hiding.
In my life, I've got friends for over 25 years. Either they have your back or best interest at heart or you need to cut them loose. Don't waste time or energy on people who won't be there for you when the chips are down.
Re: Convincing my husband to let me cam...again. Seek advice.
I'm not very active on social media myself & have less than 100 friends on fb so I doubt seriously ppl I know will ever come across it unless they're looking for me specifically. Most shows I don't show my face but only by accident bc the cam isn't aimed right. If you're very low profile IRL I'd almost bet that you can fly under the radar off being spotted by ppl you know, esp if you do geo blocking for the main areas you know ppl. I blocked 3 cities (that are small) & doubt ppl will recognize me. I'm not much of a social person IRL anyways so I could care less if someone found out really.
When I started camming a month ago my bf hated it, but I went & did it anyways bc he doesn't support me in any way & isn't going to. I like being in control of my own money & standing up for myself in terms of how I'm earning a living. Don't EVER allow a man to control your income or EVER be at someone else's mercy in terms of earning money.
Re: Convincing my husband to let me cam...again. Seek advice.
OP have you considered phone sex it's a slower build but you can purchase content and remain hidden. With proper time and marketing you could earn the same as what you made camming but it will talke longer to get there.
Re: Convincing my husband to let me cam...again. Seek advice.
Thank You @Bootsie and @Sam.
I really appreciate you taking the time to reply to my dilemma.
It was very helpful.:-*