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Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
If you do, how do you get past it?
I've never had any real regulars until recently. He's young, close to my age, kind of an outcast and shy. He's very sweet, but I think he's naive about how strip clubs work. He's only ever done dances with me, doesn't even really talk to other girls except to be polite if they speak to him. He definitely has a crush on me. I didn't think anything of it until tonight.
He told me he was writing a song about me and told me some of the lyrics. It's very depressing and then the chorus is saying he doesn't have to hurt or be sad or afraid anymore because of me.
I just felt a little bad because I realized he's probably going to get his heart broken when he realizes he won't get me outside of the club and he's going to lose a lot of money before it happens.
Does anyone else still feel guilty when guys catch feelings? I know it's part of the job, but it's new territory for me.
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
No. Cause I have a line I draw. I never promise them in going to date them or have sex with them. I actually tell them up front, hey john just so you know it ain't going to be any sex and I don't date customers.
Also so this is why it's important to keep collecting money and not sit around for free with them. Money implies professionalism. And when you're being professional on your job you're not their friend. You're being cordial yet professional.
Oh. And he's not "losing" money. Spending money with you is a gain. Plus He can earn that back next paycheck. It's up to him to spend his money responsibly that's not your problem.
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
^^Exactly. Make sure your boundaries are clear from the get go. Don't ever make false promises.
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PrettyPuppet
If you do, how do you get past it?
I've never had any real regulars until recently. He's young, close to my age, kind of an outcast and shy. He's very sweet, but I think he's naive about how strip clubs work. He's only ever done dances with me, doesn't even really talk to other girls except to be polite if they speak to him. He definitely has a crush on me. I didn't think anything of it until tonight.
He told me he was writing a song about me and told me some of the lyrics. It's very depressing and then the chorus is saying he doesn't have to hurt or be sad or afraid anymore because of me.
I just felt a little bad because I realized he's probably going to get his heart broken when he realizes he won't get me outside of the club and he's going to lose a lot of money before it happens.
Does anyone else still feel guilty when guys catch feelings? I know it's part of the job, but it's new territory for me.
I used to...until I got sick of it. I'm so sick of these men thinking I'll be their friends. I got sick of men that try to make things so serious and think this is something more than a business relationship that I eventually cut them all off. Now when a guy tries to get close I cut him off. Don't feel guilty. This is business. As soon as a man steps into a strip club he knows what he's getting into...and if he feels he will gain a friend or girlfriend out of this is him being an idiot.
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
No - you know what you are signing for when you walk in the door. I'm going to lead you on and make you think we're soulmates until I bleed you dry. The other night I had a regular tell me, "You know, you're actually the most important thing in my life right now." I giggled and said, "Thank you!"
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
He's knowingly walking into the snake pit. Stop feeling sorry for him!!!! He is an ATM with a dick attached nothing more. When the money runs out, drop him like a bad habit. It's not rocket science.
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
tempest666
He's knowingly walking into the snake pit. Stop feeling sorry for him!!!! He is an ATM with a dick attached nothing more. When the money runs out, drop him like a bad habit. It's not rocket science.
I do love your mind, dahling!}:D
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
I will lead on a customer for the first few times I see them, but if they are still delusional at that point, I'll bluntly explain that I'm not interested or I'll avoid them. I've led guys on in the past and it was not worth the trouble of dealing with their whiny asses. I also have had issues with creepy guys outside of the club, and I don't want to have some kind of lovelorn stalker IN my workplace. Eep.
Seems like some dancers have the personality type to not feel guilty about this, but I personally can't do it. It makes me feel guilty and anxious.
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
No, I don't feel guilty because I'm there to dance not to be someone's girlfriend. When you put your boundaries in a clear spot for the cx, there's no need for any misunderstanding or disappointments.
Kind of like when I go get a coffee at Starbucks... I'm not expecting them to hand me a shawarma instead lol. Expectations.
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
AMEN !!!!!
QUOTE=tempest666;2931214]He's knowingly walking into the snake pit. Stop feeling sorry for him!!!! He is an ATM with a dick attached nothing more. When the money runs out, drop him like a bad habit. It's not rocket science.[/QUOTE]
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
I feel a bit bad for one of my regulars that has a slight intellectual disability and thinks we're going to get married. I didn't tell him that he just started saying it and I didn't have the heart to correct him. Now I don't do club work I just see him every couple of months when he gives me $200 and we go to dinner
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
Do these guys go to Disneyland expecting Minnie Mouse to come home with them and be their nanny? Then they shouldn't expect more than dances and entertainment when going to a strip club.
Could people fall in love at the club? Sure, but it rarely happens.
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
Its not leading them on when they're PAYING for the attention. Nobody goes into a strip club expecting to take a dancer home unless they're Drake or a dumb ass
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
This is the wrong industry to have a conscience in. ::)
Unless they are incapable of consent by severe intoxication or other factors.
You want to be a Dudley Do Right, go volunteer for Habitat for Humanity or something. Otherwise leave that nonsense at the door. Smdh. ::)
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
I used to feel bad when I was a newbie and the guy is young, sweet and doesn't make much money... not so much anymore lol. I am completely honest though, I never make false promises I know I won't keep.
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
Hell no. In my experience, these guys who 'fall in love' aren't actually in love and once you kick them to the curb it's only a matter of time until they 'fall in love' with another adult entertainer. It's a cycle that really has nothing to do with you IMO.
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
PrettyPuppet
If you do, how do you get past it?
I've never had any real regulars until recently. He's young, close to my age, kind of an outcast and shy. He's very sweet, but I think he's naive about how strip clubs work. He's only ever done dances with me, doesn't even really talk to other girls except to be polite if they speak to him. He definitely has a crush on me. I didn't think anything of it until tonight.
He told me he was writing a song about me and told me some of the lyrics. It's very depressing and then the chorus is saying he doesn't have to hurt or be sad or afraid anymore because of me.
I just felt a little bad because I realized he's probably going to get his heart broken when he realizes he won't get me outside of the club and he's going to lose a lot of money before it happens.
Does anyone else still feel guilty when guys catch feelings? I know it's part of the job, but it's new territory for me.
I have made this mistake so many times that I'm starting to believe there is something wrong with me! Ugh. It's a challenge for me to be direct about things and I'm still trying to "leave my conscience at the door." I always feel bad for the guy, and some motherly instinct in me wants to stop taking advantage of him lol.
But seriously, the ladies who've commented above are absolutely right- leave your conscience at the door. When you walk in, you are no longer who you normally are outside the club. You are the persona you've created for yourself, and your job is to make as much money as possible. It's very important to not lead customers on because it could come back to bite you. I knew a girl who led a customer on and on and on, and when she finally told him nothing was going to happen, he told the club that she was an extras girl who has sex with anyone for any amount. It wasn't true, but she got in big trouble for that. You sell a fantasy, but you also have to know when to tell them that the fantasy will never become a reality.
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
When I first started I felt guilty "leading" guys on. I never promised anything to them or made any claims of things I'd do, but I had more than a few guys fall for me. I felt bad because there was no way I'd ever date any of them, and also bc I actually mostly date women anyways. However, I feel as long as I'm not leading anyone along with false promises, then there's nothing for me to feel guilty about.
Now if you're leading someone on with false promises about 1) things you'll do with them or 2) that you'll eventually meet them outside the club, then anyone that does that shit deserves to feel guilty. (I'm not saying you're doing that, but just venting a little).
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
Nah. They're all adults, who at some point made the decision to come to a strip club, where it is well known that strippers have the goal of taking as much of their money as possible.
And in order to keep spending their money on the stripper, they have to keep coming to the club. If you were hunting them down and extorting them on their doorstep that would be different.
The guys that think it's "really real" are ime ones you probably want to avoid though, unless you are very skilled at playing them and/or have other clubs to go to if things went really sideways. They sometimes do bizarre stuff when the fantasy finally ends, as a PP mentioned. But most guys are playing along because they like the fantasy, not that they ACTUALLY believe you are their gf or whatever. So the difference can be tough to tell sometimes.
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
I do Not do love or romance and make sure they know it. fun and entertainment is what it is... OBJECT of lust, yup... thats all. There are though, PLENTY of "needy" men ( as in companionship) that come into clubs..
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Re: Do you ever feel guilty for leading customers on?
Guys are suckers. If you are feeling sorry for them I would suggest you find a more "honest" kind of a living. To me if people want to pay to see me naked and it's clear that was all I've ever offered, why feel guilty about it? You've given them exactly what they wanted after all!