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thanking customers who stage tipped you
Sometimes when I tip a dancer on stage, when she gets off stage, she won't come over to my table to thank me for tipping her. She will simply go sit down with another customer.
The other day, I tipped a dancer then sat back down. I think maybe three other guys tipped her. When she got off stage, she went to their tables, hugged them, and thanked them for tipping her. She quickly glanced at me and smiled from 20 feet away, then went to sit down with a guy. She went around to all the other guys who tipped her, except for me. As soon as I saw her sat down, I got got up and stormed out of the club. If I had seen the manager on the way out, I would have said something about that dancer's rudeness.
What are some reasons a dancer would thank one customer for tipping her, but then ignore another?
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
Maybe they were regulars and she was working her way back to you? Since she smiled and acknowledged you, that makes me think she was planning on coming over to you.
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
I can understand why you would feel slighted, but I think you might be taking this a little too personally. I can see myself doing this if I saw customer that I am positive will give me a lot of money, and I'm not sure how much I can get out of you. Or if you were sitting far away and I didn't want to make a guy who was waiting for me think I was walking away from him or something. At the end of the day, we are just trying to make as much money as we can in the shortest amount of time, and she probably felt like she could make more money by sitting with that guy right away than by walking over to you. (There are also a handful of customers who generally just gross me out because they smell or are super gropey, or cheap and while I appreciate it if they give me a tip on stage, I will do my best to avoid them at all costs.)
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
Tipping a dancer on stage is appreciation for her show. It's not an obligation for her time after the show. She probably will eventually say hi and thanks, but if the other guys were regulars or said something concrete like "come see me after you get off stage, I'd like some dances" they will be her priority.
Also depending on the area the guy she sat with may have already bought time with her before she went on stage, so she was required to return to him after. You don't know everything that's happening in a club at all times, so you can't just assume that a girl who doesn't run over to you immediately is rude. She doesn't get paid so she's trying to prioritize her time in a way that gets her leaving with the most money.
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
i agree that it's understandable for you to be annoyed but storming off and trying to tell the manager is a bit of an over-reaction. the manager wouldn't have done anything. we're independent contractors and not required to personally come up and thank customers for tipping us.. although i agree it's rude.
i always say 'thank you' when someone hands/throws me a tip while i'm up there. but after i get off stage, the order in which i approach guys who tipped depends on how much they tip me, what they say to me while at the tip rail, and their overall vibe. i kinda have to just guess who is going to spend the most and they get first priority.
generally i'll sit down first with whoever tipped me the most, or someone who specifically told me they want to go to VIP/get a dance as soon as i'm done. it's kinda like a gamble because you never know for sure if you're making the right choice. sometimes a guy who gives me a 20 will get zero dances and waste my time. and of course sometimes the guy who said nothing and gave me only $1 will take me to VIP. i've probably made guys butthurt (like you were) and also lost out on money because i made the wrong choice and "ignored" them in favor of someone else. but that wasn't ever my intention. i always make it around to everyone eventually but i'm sure sometimes they end up with another girl (or out the door i guess) before that happens.
may i ask how much you tipped her vs how much the other guys were tipping? and did you try saying anything to her while you were at the tip rail?
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
It sounds like getting off the stage and going around to each guy and thanking them is the culture in your club. I think that's pretty cool, you should be glad it's that way. At my favorite club the culture is just that as the dancer walks, or crawls around the stage, rather, that she will say thank you to each patron. So you are already getting even more of a personal touch!
I think you are being a bit too pissy about. Truthfully, on one hand I feel where you're coming from. If a dancer takes my ones and doesn't say 'thank you', I won't get dances from her. I feel like that tells me enough about her, and there are plenty of gracious dancers. I treat them with gratitude too, as my response to their 'thank you' is always to say 'thank you' back. I'm getting a little technical here, but my reasoning is that I don't feel like I just did her a favor that warrants a 'thank you'; we each did something for each other. :)
But to talk to the manager is way, way out of line, in my opinion. That would imply she broke some club rule, or hell, some law. Talking to the manager would be for some much greater offense. Shake it off, don't get any dances from her, and find the next one.
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
Maybe she was creeped out because it seems like you were staring her down? Just a thought.
You could have approached her instead of getting impatient and throwing a mild temper tantrum. Strippers love money, so tip her again for a wonderful show. You gotta be aggressive too, there are other men who want her attention too.
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
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Originally Posted by
aperfectseal
At the end of the day, we are just trying to make as much money as we can in the shortest amount of time, and she probably felt like she could make more money by sitting with that guy right away than by walking over to you.
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Originally Posted by SuperJa
Tipping a dancer on stage is appreciation for her show. It's not an obligation for her time after the show. She probably will eventually say hi and thanks, but if the other guys were regulars or said something concrete like "come see me after you get off stage, I'd like some dances" they will be her priority.
Those.
Most guys tend to wait at the stage to personally give tips here, and I say "Hi what's up? Having fun? Good... thank you!" as I take their money. I prioritize who I go to after based on if they specifically said they wanted a dance, if they tipped $5 vs. $1, etc.
If you are that guy who comes up and throws $2 on the stage then walks away while I'm upside down on the pole, you're not going to go to the top of the list and I'm not going to spend time hunting you down to thank you for it so feelings don't get hurt.
Get your panties out of a bunch ("stormed off", give me a break).
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
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Originally Posted by
nastylappers
Sometimes when I tip a dancer on stage, when she gets off stage, she won't come over to my table to thank me for tipping her. She will simply go sit down with another customer.
The other day, I tipped a dancer then sat back down. I think maybe three other guys tipped her. When she got off stage, she went to their tables, hugged them, and thanked them for tipping her. She quickly glanced at me and smiled from 20 feet away, then went to sit down with a guy. She went around to all the other guys who tipped her, except for me. As soon as I saw her sat down, I got got up and stormed out of the club. If I had seen the manager on the way out, I would have said something about that dancer's rudeness.
What are some reasons a dancer would thank one customer for tipping her, but then ignore another?
Dude grow up! If your are the type to "storm out" because a dancer didn't come to your table, then you are probably also the type who gives off a stalker/creep vibe. The girl probably made a good decision on not coming to your table...
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
It also depends the way the guy gives me the tip. I hate jackasses who do a back bend onto my stage and then put the dollar on their face, hold the dollar in their mouth, try to stick it up my ass crack, lick it and try to slap it on me etc. Basically anyway that is disrespectfull and makes the act of tipping all about them I hate. I will aggressively snatch the dollar off your face and not say thank you.
If someone politely tips me I will say thank you once while I'm on stage and if I have time I'll go back after my set and thank them again. My club has one stage in the front bar and one in the back bar. About 100 ft from each other. We do two songs on front stage then immediately have to walk to the back and do another 2 songs back there. So after I get off the front stage I don't get a chance to thank the guys one on one from the front stage.
Not saying you did do anything disrespectfull but just keep that in mind that alot of girls won't say thank you if you tip them like some drunk frat boy.
It was probably what the other girls were saying though, the other guys she thanked were probably regulars of hers who she knew were going to pay the big bucks for her time or the other guys may have tipped more than you perhaps and she felt like a one on one thank you to them was earned by them for going above and beyond.
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
I think it could have been that the other customers were older and of a different race than me. Also, that was my first time ever seeing her in that club. I did intend on asking for a dance. At my regular club, dancers usually come tell me if they have other customers in line first. I tipped her $2 and she put her legs on my shoulders while I was at the stage, so I felt she was interested and wanted my business. I'm not saying she was racist, but I felt that was the vibe she gave off to me. I stormed out because I had been there an hour and I felt she may have been racist and was avoiding me on purpose.
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
Next time just tell her if she likes old white guys you got your friends Mr Franklin and the Jackson brothers you'd like her to meet. I think you'll find out green is the only color that matters.
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
Quote:
Originally Posted by
nastylappers
I think it could have been that the other customers were older and of a different race than me. Also, that was my first time ever seeing her in that club. I did intend on asking for a dance. At my regular club, dancers usually come tell me if they have other customers in line first. I tipped her $2 and she put her legs on my shoulders while I was at the stage, so I felt she was interested and wanted my business. I'm not saying she was racist, but I felt that was the vibe she gave off to me. I stormed out because I had been there an hour and I felt she may have been racist and was avoiding me on purpose.
But you don't know that. You making assumptions that it's about race. You only tipped her $2. The other dudes could have tipped her more. Step your game up, go back, and buy a dance. Show her that you deserve her attention. She's gonna go to whomever she feels is going to make her more.
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
I will admit that most dancers will see patterns with customers. Based on patterns is how we use our time most effectively.
From my personal experience, I've observed that black customers will generally tip on stage, but 95% of the time black customers decline lap dances. Atleast the younger ones do. Most younger black guys act like it's just not cool to get lapdances. They say stuff like "no, I'm good. I know you're just trying to hustle/play the game." Etc.
As far as Indian customers 95% will get a dance but they will most likely ask for cheap sexual favors, try to lick and make out with you, touch your face alot, just overall be really annoying.
Women will tip on stage but dancing for them is a pain in the ass for me, most of the time they are more aggressive then guys and think they can do more because they are women. or they are uncomfortably awkward during the dance.
Most of the time I leave these 3 groups of customers alone unless they specifically come up and ask for me or if they are my only options. Getting rejected takes a toll on you so I don't like to take that gamble of a 95%chance of getting shut down so most of the time for that reason I won't ask the young black guy for a dance. I will ask black guys over 40. I've learned my success rate is much higher with them. I actually have two older black regulars now that always get atleast $100 worth of dances when they come in.
Next time you tip on stage just tell the dancer you would like dances when she's ready. Trust me she will appreciate this and it will keep her from grouping you in her pre perceived "box".
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
I think you are overanalyzing the situation, when I was new to strip clubs I felt the same way. I would tip a dancer on stage that I liked and then she would go sit with a group of guys all night without bothering to talk to me. I got really mad and offended so I started asking dancers why they didn't ask for dances or sit with me after they were on stage, this is when I learned some of the top dancers at the clubs if you want their attention you got pay really good money for it. In almost all cases the guys the dancers sat with were paying her a lot of money to be at that table and to ignore the other customers in the club. One dancer told me a guy paid her $500 to sit with him all night and to ignore the other guys in the club. The top really attractive dancers at the club usually attract the most highest paying clients. One top girl at a club I got dances and VIPs with had a regular who would come in once a week and pay her $500 to sit with him all night not counting the additional money he spent on drinks, dances, tips, and VIPS.
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
Quote:
Originally Posted by
nastylappers
I think it could have been that the other customers were older and of a different race than me. Also, that was my first time ever seeing her in that club. I did intend on asking for a dance. At my regular club, dancers usually come tell me if they have other customers in line first. I tipped her $2 and she put her legs on my shoulders while I was at the stage, so I felt she was interested and wanted my business. I'm not saying she was racist, but I felt that was the vibe she gave off to me. I stormed out because I had been there an hour and I felt she may have been racist and was avoiding me on purpose.
So for $2, you got her legs on your shoulders (and no doubt your face close to her crotch) and a follow-up thank you smile, yet you somehow still felt short changed? What were you expecting for $2, a statue erected in your honor? ::)
I'm guessing that she stopped where she felt her best prospects were, pure and simple. The ladies have laid out the possible dynamics at play better than I could. I'm also guessing that she felt like she had already provided sufficient thanks for those two singles. ;)
If you wanted to motivate her to make her way to you, then you could have reached a little deeper for that stage tip or even said something to her while your face was near (if not in) her crotch. But you didn't. Instead, you counted on $2, her mind reading skills and a general sense of self entitlement to be sufficient to woo her over. So now here we are. We live and learn I suppose.
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
There's a chance she didn't come over to thank you because if she did, she may have lost a sale due to other girls in the club swooping in on the customer who may have tipped her a lot. Maybe that guy was her regular that she didn't want to lose, because he is guaranteed income.
Don't take everything so personally! It's not like she ignored you while onstage!
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
She did way too much for 2 bucks! Be grateful! I would've ignored you, personally. Anything less than 20 on stage, I'm not running back to and I sure as hell ain't doing some over the top shit for it. ::)
Also....
A SMILE IS A THANK YOU.
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
bottom line, you are expecting too much for too little. no one is going to prioritize you or treat you like a baller when you tip the bare minimum.. at least not in a strip club where the dancers are independent contractors, not employees. your waitress at applebees might be afraid of you tattling to the manager and have to kiss your ass for $2 tips, but we don't and most of us won't. know where you are and tip accordingly. if you wanna blame race then you're only kidding yourself
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
lol, you have a bad attitude, she did the right thing by going to other customers. she worked hard enough for 2 bucks from you.
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
Quote:
Originally Posted by
nastylappers
I think it could have been that the other customers were older and of a different race than me. Also, that was my first time ever seeing her in that club. I did intend on asking for a dance. At my regular club, dancers usually come tell me if they have other customers in line first. I tipped her $2 and she put her legs on my shoulders while I was at the stage, so I felt she was interested and wanted my business. I'm not saying she was racist, but I felt that was the vibe she gave off to me. I stormed out because I had been there an hour and I felt she may have been racist and was avoiding me on purpose.
What happened during that hour leading up to the impressive encounter ? Did all the prior dancers ignore you ? Were there not any others that you tipped, or at least had a modicum of interest in ? Or was the subject dancer the one and only that you had your heart set on, and got ticked because you couldn't get her ? If I had a dollar for every club visit where I didn't get my first choice dancer, I'd have enough money to pay cash for a NYC club ownership.
OP doesn't say what happened in the hour leading up to his walkout. I think that might provide some insight. I do know that if I don't see any interesting dancers within the first 20 to 30 minutes, I'll bail. I might wait a bit longer if it's a too many dancers locked down by regulars visit.
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
wtf there's no rule for coming to thank you for a $2 tip lmao!!! she was right to ignore you. I'm sure there were better spenders in there than that, therefore she chose to hustle them.
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
$2 says you'd like a dance if she's interested - treat her well once and become a regular or find a new club
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
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Re: thanking customers who stage tipped you
Can you give me a break? Don't flatter yourself. You tipped her $2 so you got what you paid for. She likely had regulars there and/or custies that tipped her more. Since it is a dancers job to make as much money as possible, it should be understandable why you weren't her top priority. Shes not going to waste time trying to figure out if you want a dance or not when others are flocking to her to get her attention.