Is it just time to quit? Long-term burnout and life balance
Hi everyone, I worked as a stripper from 18-24, had an abusive relationship, did some sugaring (enjoyed it for the most part), and had a really traumatizing and sad ongoing issue with a mentally ill family member. Now I am in a different city, with a great partner, in graduate school, at 27 years old and started working at a very nice club here.
The money is honestly quite good and I am in the top 10-20% of earners every night. I can do the job well, and I enjoy speaking with customers one on one and have a lot of fun even doing dances and everything. But this club has me on schedule (new to me, used to come in as I please) and I've just been so damn burnt out and anxious as hell before work every time after the first week. I can't stand stage and feeling like I'm getting sized up. I can't stand feeling evaluated by management, comparing myself to other girls, etc.
Also, I'm getting treatment for PTSD and between that and school and an internship I feel like I have a lot on my plate. I feel so weak and lame for bitching about all this. I mean, I'm a great hustler and making good money at the best club in my city, but I just think I'm finally, truly over it. I've given it shot after shot and even though my earning potential has only increased over the years (hustling/social skills, ba, etc) I just feel more and more drained by it. Being objectified, sized up, for my looks and charm makes me so nervous now.
I am thinking of selling my car and just taking out loans to not work during school, other than my internship. Am I being a little fucking bitch? Is this ok? I feel bad, this club hired me on night shift right away (notoriously very rare) and has been really understanding of my call-outs. I am a people-pleaser and guess I would just like reassurance. Sorry this is so rambling!
Re: Is it just time to quit? Long-term burnout and life balance
Health before wealth, hon. Sounds like you already know what you need and there is nothing weak or lame about taking care of yourself. You only get one you, after all! You can always come back to it at a later point when you feel ready. Just leave on good terms. Good luck!
Re: Is it just time to quit? Long-term burnout and life balance
Oh my goodness. It's really that simple. I'm coming to terms with being ok with not wanting to work. I'll see if they'll let me pick back up once the semester is over so I can focus on one thing at a time. Thank you for being so sweet haha.
Re: Is it just time to quit? Long-term burnout and life balance
Can you pay to not be on stage or cut back the number of shifts? I mean, if you need a break -you need a break. We have all been there. Are you going to be ok without the extra income?
Re: Is it just time to quit? Long-term burnout and life balance
I can completely relate. Some advice I've received when I get burned out from work and just life in general is to be kind to myself and to not feel obligated to be a perfectionist. When I remind myself that there's nothing wrong with taking care of my mental state and my health, it makes a big difference in my perspective and seeing the big picture.
Re: Is it just time to quit? Long-term burnout and life balance
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Gia2608
Can you pay to not be on stage or cut back the number of shifts? I mean, if you need a break -you need a break. We have all been there. Are you going to be ok without the extra income?
I should be fine since I have tuition assistance, savings, and grants, at least until winter break. But I am wondering about stage... I don't think they allow that at this club but that would take some pressure off. As I said, I don't mind chatting with individuals since I can control who I talk to.
Re: Is it just time to quit? Long-term burnout and life balance
Sounds like you're in a good situation to take time off for yourself. Trust your instincts. Burnout is real, and a lot of us have had to take breaks from stripping because of it. Clubs will always be there if you decide to go back.
Re: Is it just time to quit? Long-term burnout and life balance
Absolutely take a break for your sanity. Budget your finances so that you're okay money wise during the break. That way you won't feel pressured to come back until you're ready. Give yourself time to take care of you. I second what Gia2608 suggested about paying not to be on stage. I dread the stage (always have) and I've paid an extra fee at some clubs to just be a floor girl. I've learned to identify when I'm getting burnout and I take time off accordingly. I'll eat healthy, workout, do facials and get massages. Lately I've been trying yoga.