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Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
So dancing has been going better after my recent attitude and perspectivr change. I still have my bad days tho.
On one of my good nights i was walking past an executive booth and saw this guy standing there and i greated him and he was instantly warm and welcoming. He spent some money on me, etc. He asked me why i was so quiet blah blah blah. I asked for his number but when we were done we exchangrd #s. I kno he is a drug dealer, nd i know that he comes to the club just to sell.
I hung out with him last week, then went back to his loft. We didnt have sex, or anything like that. We hung out yesterday as well. He asked me what i was looking for. I told him i dont know....BECAUSE I DONT! I did ask him how many other girls from the club he has "hung out" with and he said none, he said he has no gf aswell. I know this can be a load of shit. He has tried to buy me a new phone, he fills my tank up, gives me money, he wants me to go on vaca with him. Idk about all this, but then again if im gonna put myself in this situstion why be modest?
I do have a little crush on him tho, and im always horny when im around him.
Is this a bad move?
Im 23 he is 25
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
Horrible idea. I know a chic who fell in love with a dealer she met itc. Guess where she's at now? In prison. Doing more time than him, at that!
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
All you need is to be hanging at his house when the cops show up. You'll get taken right in with him.
Getting involved with a dealer is a terrible idea and you know it. The fact that you're asking us means you know it's probably not smart.
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
Someone I know dated a dealer for four years, he was attentive, sweet and good in bed...... but he lived a shut in life always waiting indoors protecting his gear or selling. In those four years he went to her house ONCE and never once met any of her friends. The bad outweighed the good tenfold because she was the one making the effort for him while he lived his little Scarface wannabe lifestyle and they were both constantly paranoid about unexpected callers being police etc.
Months after they broke up he was busted, with two houses fully set up for growing, because a rival set his garden on fire.
Keep well away from it - but that's just my opinion.
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
I disagree w/Selina - You don't even necessarily have to be in his company to get in trouble, guilt by association. Which's the name of movie listed below
Btw, please make it a point to watch this movie, it's been shown on Lifetime too
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0298354/
True story, she did live w/the guy, but kicked him out when she found out what he did for a living, to no avail. 14 yrs in prison, w/2 kids
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
Agreed with Anna. Didn't even think of that aspect. It's not a fun lifestyle. My ex was just a pot dealer, nothing major, and that was irritating as fuck. People wanting to pick up at all hours of the night, overstaying their welcome hanging out smoking, etc etc. My current guy was into a lot worse several years ago & I could not imagine dating him then. It was all of the above, plus he got robbed of literally all his belongings & several grand in cash (what if that had been your weeks haul from dancing?) and is lucky he wasn't murdered.
Oh yeah, to head off the main thing I hear from girls dating dealers ("He's really good at this, he won't get caught!") Mine was very, very good at what he did. But no matter how good you are, shit will happen, situations will occur, and they will be shit & situations that can result in getting arrested or literally killed by other dealers or your own boss. Both my dudes were arrested & are lucky to have avoided prison & given the chance to clean up their acts.
Whirlerz has a good point. If you're there, you go down too. If you're not there, you can get hauled in as a witness and asked why you let this go on/didn't turn him in. Then you're an accessory. Seriously. It's not fun. Just don't do it. Don't even speak to him at the club. It's not worth it.
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Selina M
All you need is to be hanging at his house when the cops show up. You'll get taken right in with him.
Getting involved with a dealer is a terrible idea and you know it. The fact that you're asking us means you know it's probably not smart.
Your right. I need to stay away. Lol i just hate having crushes on ppl i KNOW i dont need to deal with.
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
Quote:
Originally Posted by
fallyn_love
Your right. I need to stay away. Lol i just hate having crushes on ppl i KNOW i dont need to deal with.
That's totally what makes it appealing, it's the stupid bad boy thing. I don't know why we are wired for that, it never ends well.
Not gonna lie, it's kinda hot knowing that mine was into all that dangerous shit... but my logical brain slapped girl brain and was like "Don't touch that fucker until he's done with that shit".
Go find a nice guy who just *looks* like a badass, that's a do-able solution :)
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Selina M
Agreed with Anna. Didn't even think of that aspect. It's not a fun lifestyle. My ex was just a pot dealer, nothing major, and that was irritating as fuck. People wanting to pick up at all hours of the night, overstaying their welcome hanging out smoking, etc etc. My current guy was into a lot worse at one point & I could not imagine dating him then. It was all of the above, plus he got robbed of literally all his belongings & several grand in cash (what if that had been your weeks haul from dancing?) and is lucky the eastern European mob didn't murder him over it.
Oh yeah, to head off the main thing I hear from girls dating dealers ("He's really good at this, he won't get caught!") Mine was very, very good at what he did. But no matter how good you are, shit will happen, situations will occur, and they will be shit & situations that can result in getting arrested or if he's into bad enough stuff, literally killed by other dealers or your own boss. Both my dudes have been arrested & are lucky to have avoided prison & cleaned up their acts.
Whirlerz has a good point. If you're there, you go down too. If you're not there, you can get hauled in as a witness and asked why you let this go on/didn't turn him in. Then you're an accessory. Seriously. It's not fun. Just don't do it. Don't even speak to him at the club. It's not worth it.
Yes. Also read, "In w/the Devil" by James Keene, he was a stellar dealer, turned in by his own long time friend who used him to save his own ass, despite the fact that James saved this dude's life from a cartel.
He went down hard, they had him cold w/a secret room in his house filled to the brim w/stash. He was able to negotiate his sentence by getting the goods on a serial killer they put him in with.
I'd say consider getting out of that club, they're letting him in there to ply his trade? Not good either.
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Selina M
That's totally what makes it appealing, it's the stupid bad boy thing. I don't know why we are wired for that, it never ends well.
Not gonna lie, it's kinda hot knowing that mine was into all that dangerous shit... but my logical brain slapped girl brain and was like "Don't touch that fucker until he's done with that shit".
Go find a nice guy who just *looks* like a badass, that's a do-able solution :)
I know right!!! My logic side os telling me "stop knocking at the devils door", my other side is like "knock til he lets u in".
Part of this is i dont have any drama, excitement in my life. I literally go to school, work/dance, sleep, excercise/pole class nd hang at the farmers market 3x a week lol.
It always helps me if i talk to someone about how i feel to rationalize nd see whats right bcuz my brain becomes fogged when im horny, hungry, or infatuated lol.
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
Quote:
Originally Posted by
fallyn_love
You guys are right.
You're bored, find something else to grab your interest.
My ex wasn't a dealer in drugs but a dealer in people and he is doing 35 years ... then being deported to Serbia.
Yeh we had a lot of material things, but nothing compensates for peace of mind, I have PTSD now and will not recover anytime soon because some lifestyles will stick with you.
I agree with Selina, go find some bad-ass looking guy who you can have fun with.
Drug dealing isn't fun. It isn't actually all that glamorous and most of the guys doing it don't know what the fuck they're doing and will throw you under the bus in a heartbeat given the chance. They all talk a good talk until the charges come.
Sorry if this response was a bit depressing xo
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
I'm going to agree with everyone else in this thread. I wouldn't do it. There are way too many problems that will come with that whether it's accidentally getting wrapped up in his bullshit and ending up in prison OR getting serious with him and having him end up doing hard time and then you're in a relationship with a guy you will barely get to see for years. Not worth it in my opinion.
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
I think you should date him.
There's no point in telling you that you shouldn't do it because you already know you shouldn't.
Most girls your age will date just about anything that will give them attention out of boredom and there's that bad boy appeal you all like so much.
I think you need to experience this disaster yourself just so you know not to do it again when the opportunity presents itself. Experience is the best teacher. Just be ready to accept responsibility for you own actions when shit hits the fan.
There was a time in my life when I was facing a similar decision and my best friend said to me "hey, if you can live with your choices, who am I to tell you what to do". She didn't try to talk me out of dating the guy. She tried to warn me in her own way and it was up to me to listen or not.
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
Plus one to everything said.
OP, when I was reading your post, the FIRST question I had was: OMG, how OLD are you?!? Lol, but you provided that information at the end. You're only a couple of years younger than me, but a lot of growing happens in your mid-twenties. When I was 23, I dated a guy similar to the one you met. I dated a nickle & dime pot guy around your age. And a couple of years later, a man I'd consider to be a trafficker. I was able to avoid drama with the smaller level dude, and higher level dudes tend to be a bit more "professional" and discreet, shielding their romantic interests from problems that come with the job. You're at risk of getting in trouble at any level though. I've always known these guys were dangerous, but dated/slept with them on occasion probably because I was also, like you, bored.
I realized I've kinda hit my limit with these dudes tho. I met a guy this past summer in the club. Spent good money on me with no effort and we exchanged numbers. From his age and lifestyle, I could tell what he did for a living although he was discreet. He picked me up for our first date in a 100k car, and was sweet and attentive. A friend jumped in the backseat, and handed him about 5 grand which he counted in front of me. He put a rubber band on it and threw it in the glovebox like it was trash.
We fucked the first night. The sex was A-1, put-it-in-the-history-books, fantastic. Later that night, he said he had to "run," but said I could stay in the apartment for as long as I wanted. Hung over and tired, I just said ok and went to sleep. When I woke up, I started to browse around the apartment. Except from some shopping bags from designer stores thrown around, the TV, and the bed..... the apartment was practically completely empty. I didn't notice it the night before. I walk into the kitchen. No food. No dishes. But white powder residue covered the entire kitchen. It was everywhere. Needless to say, in the middle of an nice neighborhood, this apartment was used only to "work" out of. I was pissed that he brought me to that place and exposed me to such things. I had never been that close to shit like that. But moreso, I was mad at myself. I'm not a little kid anymore. I can't say I don't know better. And unlike the weed dealers in undergrad, this was on a much different level. I'm sad to say we had sex several more times in that SAME apartment. I did a little research and the guy is facing very serious drug charges at the moment.
I feel what you're going through, girl. You're bored and dudes like this are fucking exciting. Fucking with them is a high within itself. They tend to be generous with money, your drug of choice is always around and in good supply lol, and they are just generally fun. When I was with him, I felt like Michelle Pfeiffer in Scarface. A gorgeous girl, with a fun life, and a dangerous guy willing to spend generously on her. The Boss's girl.
But like everybody said, you can't. You know better. Maybe fuck him once and then delete his number (Shit, I'm being real.....). But you CANNOT get entangled in BS like this. The rush is great, but totally not worth it.
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
Quote:
Originally Posted by
fallyn_love
So dancing has been going better after my recent attitude and perspectivr change. I still have my bad days tho.
On one of my good nights i was walking past an executive booth and saw this guy standing there and i greated him and he was instantly warm and welcoming. He spent some money on me, etc. He asked me why i was so quiet blah blah blah. I asked for his number but when we were done we exchangrd #s. I kno he is a drug dealer, nd i know that he comes to the club just to sell.
I hung out with him last week, then went back to his loft. We didnt have sex, or anything like that. We hung out yesterday as well. He asked me what i was looking for. I told him i dont know....BECAUSE I DONT! I did ask him how many other girls from the club he has "hung out" with and he said none, he said he has no gf aswell. I know this can be a load of shit. He has tried to buy me a new phone, he fills my tank up, gives me money, he wants me to go on vaca with him. Idk about all this, but then again if im gonna put myself in this situstion why be modest?
I do have a little crush on him tho, and im always horny when im around him.
Is this a bad move?
Im 23 he is 25
Most of these guys will be uneducated, broke, unemployed living with their mom in between couch-surfing with untreated mental disorders by the time they are in their 30s.
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
I know you said you were going to stay away from him and everyone else here (with 1 exception) has the same advice but don't do it. I have dated 3 drug dealers in my life. One was the literally the love of my life. He cleaned his act up after serving 5 years of a 7 year sentence in Federal Prison. He would have been sentenced to 20 years but one of his charges was dropped on a technicality. He went to prison rich and with a lot of things (and properties) and got out with 9,600. He used this to start a business. His response was "have you ever seen an old drug dealer?". He knows that jail or death are the end of the story.
2nd drug dealer I dated is dead.
3rd dude I met on the campus of the 1st University I attended. He literally looked like the typical college kid. I didn't find out for while. I don't know what ultimately happened to him but I know he used to sleep with an AK-47 because some people had threatened his life after a deal went south.
My point here is- my ex is right. There is no such thing as an old drug dealer.
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
What about a friends with benefits situation?
I dated a guy I met at my old vanilla job...I was 20 and living on my own so I was quite mature for my age (or so I thought) anyways he was 30 with a 9 year old son. He was also a level 3 sex offender....im not gonna state the story behind that but because of his felony his only option was to sell drugs. Tbat relationship lasted about 3 months before he went jail for selling 4 months while he was in jail/rehab and 2 months after he was home. It was the most roller coaster relationship I've ever been in...there were lies and tears and scary fucking skeletons in his closet released but if there was one man I've dated who would go out of his way for my protection health and happiness it was him. one of my last nights with him he ignored me all day and I got a call at 11 pm from him that he can't see and he needs me...I walked into his house to see him white as a ghost shaking on his couch curled in a ball...I spent all night holding him trying to call a doctor to see what I could do cus I wasn't allowed to take him to the ER (he said he forgot to take bipolar medicine that's why he was sick) but every doctor said to go to the ER and he said no. At one point he said he couldn't see..."if I wake up tomorrow blind I'm so glad your beautiful face was the last thing I saw"
Sigh I don't even remember how the relationship ended. anyways moral of the story, with every experience comes a lesson whether it's good or bad. Just make sure your able to deal with whatever may result
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
You've hung out ONCE, and he wants to buy you a bunch of shit, including a phone. Don't do it. He can keep tabs on you with the phone. Before you know it, you're "loaning" him money and "contributing" to his hustle and he takes everything you've got with the promise of "we'll make it big, baby". Then it's all downhill from there. Don't get involved with drug dealers, the young ones all wanna be pimps.
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
Yes this is a bad move.
He's making his money illegally so dealing with him is very very high risk. I don't believe he's never picked up women at the club but even if it's true he's still a leech on the same level as a pimp. His "business plan" requires he go to strip clubs looking for disadvantaged women (women with addictions) to make money off of. Women in the club should be focused on business and getting money, not getting suckered deeper into addiction/spending by some faux drug dealer.
Whatever you do never take any charges or hide any money or drugs for these dudes.
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
Never dated a girl from your club....MY ASS.
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ShaylaSkates
You've hung out ONCE, and he wants to buy you a bunch of shit, including a phone. Don't do it. He can keep tabs on you with the phone. Before you know it, you're "loaning" him money and "contributing" to his hustle and he takes everything you've got with the promise of "we'll make it big, baby". Then it's all downhill from there. Don't get involved with drug dealers, the young ones all wanna be pimps.
Yep and then you're stuck trying to figure out how you're going to get away from him b/c he's started controlling where and who you're with and then you have to start a secret savings account just to keep some of your money from him so he doesn't take every cent. Bad bad idea. The sex could be fire, he might look good, he might know how to have fun but he will never EVER be the MAN you need . Trust.
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
IF he wasn't working in your club I'd say fuck him to get it out of your system but he is Working there so don't do it. I dated a guy who ran a small operation with a number of helpers he was hot and sweet and devoted and generous but he was in that life so that means he's comfortable with violence and with taking advantage of people and that is fucked up and will disappoint you at best and break your heart at worst.
The first fight we ever had. He gives me a Mac Book Pro and says babe some junky got this from a cafe and gave it to one of my helpers for barely anything. I was like I don't want stolen property! What kind of a gift is that!
Even though his mom was African American he was really racist against Haitians b/c of the nature of his work affiliations and I was like- I don't want to be with a bigot. Do you not understand your words are disgusting?
I thought he was so hot at first but in the end he was nasty despite his money and looks. Had to switch clubs because when I dumped him he was all, you think you're better than me but you're just a stripper.... It was bullshit. I still look over my shoulder when I'm in his neighbourhood.
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
Actually, fallyn_love, I really understand what happen. You was a bit bored and met a hot guy. This hot guy just happened to be a drug dealer and buy you a few things. But I do agree with other posters on this subject. However, I agree because you do not want to get caught up in his lifestyle. Sure, he may make tons of money and treat you nicely but he will get pop in the end. Just find some other hot dude outside of the club and try to talk to him. Trust me, even the cocaine cowboys' wives and girlfriends met not such a nice end. :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
fallyn_love
So dancing has been going better after my recent attitude and perspectivr change. I still have my bad days tho.
On one of my good nights i was walking past an executive booth and saw this guy standing there and i greated him and he was instantly warm and welcoming. He spent some money on me, etc. He asked me why i was so quiet blah blah blah. I asked for his number but when we were done we exchangrd #s. I kno he is a drug dealer, nd i know that he comes to the club just to sell.
I hung out with him last week, then went back to his loft. We didnt have sex, or anything like that. We hung out yesterday as well. He asked me what i was looking for. I told him i dont know....BECAUSE I DONT! I did ask him how many other girls from the club he has "hung out" with and he said none, he said he has no gf aswell. I know this can be a load of shit. He has tried to buy me a new phone, he fills my tank up, gives me money, he wants me to go on vaca with him. Idk about all this, but then again if im gonna put myself in this situstion why be modest?
I do have a little crush on him tho, and im always horny when im around him.
Is this a bad move?
Im 23 he is 25
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Re: Ive got a crush on a drug dealer
A drug dealer can be your best customer. The only thing about dating outside the club (drug dealer or not) is that the customer can/will stop spending on you in the club. You got to remember your selling them a fantasy so they can keep coming back and spending on you. Cause once they stop...the money can stop especially if it doesn't work out with you. As women we have all dealt with men who wasn't good for us, its a part of the growing experience. Im not going to say your doing the wrong or right thing just make sure you stay smart with whatever it is you decide to do.