It finally happened. I am burned out, burned to a little crisp. I took two months off, thinking I needed some time. I went back to the club last night. Did one stage set, during which everyone had their fucking backs to the stage (me and another hot gorgeous woman... was definitely not because we were boring the crowd!) except for the people turning around to sneak free peeks. Not a SINGLE FUCKING DOLLAR ON A SATURDAY FUCKING NIGHT. I ended up flipping off the entire club as I slowly rotated on one last spin of the pole, but I don't think anyone saw. Still, it was satisfying. I went to the dressing room, got dressed and walked out.
I have been feeling it coming for a while now. I am done. I will need to find another way. If I have to talk to one more person I'd rather not talk to or take my top off for a non-paying crowd again, I will lose my fucking mind. Went to the buy-sell-trade and got rid of a bunch of stilettos and wigs etc.
I've been running up the credit card the last 2 months. I have another job but it doesn't cover the lifestyle I became accustomed to. I will just have to figure it out...
I will be around still, posting advice for the newbs etc. Thanks for listening, and for being such a supportive community these last few years (I had to change my username, I've been around for 7+ years.)
I will miss it. There were things I loved, but the bullshit started to outweigh the fun, in too many deep and disturbing ways.
Back to the drawing board...

