Being put down for being a stripper.
I should start by saying it's not my family that puts me down. My mom, my three aunts, and grandma all danced. My great grandma hand made stripper outfits for them. I was literally conceived inside of a stripclub. My dad was manager and part owner. So they are all very supportive of my decision. They're all like "go make that money giiiirl" lol. Anyways- I have a fiancé who I have two children with. We have never told his family or talked about it in front of them. So his family likes to act like they don't have cell phones or our number and like to drop by our house. Even though they live an hour or more away. So they have seen my pole in my living room once or twice. We try to take it down if we know we are going to have company. My fiancé has a younger brother who is actually my age, we'll call him M. M and his girlfriend(she's handicap, in a wheelchair) who have a child together have came to stay the night in our guest room. In the guest room I have a 6 drawer dresser filled with only stripper outfits, and stripper gear like my shoes and make up and whatever else. Well since I have never came out and told them about my job, I was going to justify all othe evidence as a hobby and something my fiancé and I do for sexy time. Well M's girlfriend gets mad at me one day for me telling her she should put her 3 month old in a car seat if they are going to take her in a vehicle with them. So she decides to blast me on her Facebook where my fiancés whole family can see calling me " a nasty pole dancer" who "sucks old man skin for money" and then says I go home and kiss my fiancé and kid after doing that. Like what in the fuck? That was a while ago. But apparently she still thinks that about me. We didn't talk for a while and she kept seeing me at my In laws and tried to make peace with me. We talked it out and I thought everything was good. A couple months go by and she starts acting weird around me again. I didn't think much of it. Then the other day they showed up to my in laws unannounced while we were there. We were getting ready to leave so I was picking up my son. I was wearing a tank top and sweatpants. She calls out to M from the car " Cmon M lets go this ain't no stripclub". I wasn't paying attention and didn't hear her but it was as I was walking up to my fiancé and his brother. My fiancé starts telling M that she better chill with the shit talking because he will go off on her. I am confused and start asking what happened? I was only away for like one minute. So my fiancé tells me. By then our busy two year old was over playing by their car. So my fiancé goes to get him and was saying that what she said was BS. So she asks him what he has to say and they start arguing. I'm sitting on the front porch just thinking to myself "wow is this really happening? Wtf?". Then she starts on me telling me I'm always trying to look good for her boyfriend and I'm Like first off I didn't even know y'all were coming here. Second I got dressed to go shrimping not too look good for anyone. She continues to yell at me saying that her boyfriend is always looking at me and that I need to have some respect for my in laws. Then she starts calling me a nasty stripper and says that I'm always trying to be seen when I'm on my way to go stripping. I guess a few days prior to this incident, when we were hanging out at my in laws and I left my fiancé and the kids there to go grab something from the store is what she was talking about. After a few minutes of my fiancé and I taking turns going back and fourth with her, my father in law comes out and is listening to the dumb crap being said. She kept going on and on so I started to laugh. Then she tells me from the car that she never forgot about the car seat thing (which we talked over a few months ago and it was all good until then) and that she should've stuck me, then calls me a stripper one more time for father in law to hear. They drove away not too long after he came outside. This is off topic but I would like to mention that M's girlfriend hit my mother in law on Halloween a few days ago. My in laws are the sweetest people and always help anyway they can. That was a big shock for everyone. I don't know why my MIL was close enough for her to grab or hit anyway... Anyways this girl is nuts and keeps calling me out of my name to all of my in laws trying to get them to look down on me. None of them have confronted me about it or mention it at all. It was really important to me that none of them knew because I didn't want them to look at me differently. They are all very religious, old school and country as hell so if they knew for sure I feel like they would not like me anymore or try to throw it in my face. I know the girl talking all the nonsense about me has a lot of issues, and I shouldn't let it bother me, or mess with my money but it does get to me. Really sorry for the long drama post, but I am looking for some advice to deal with the situation. Should I keep laughing it off and ignore her? Should I confront her? I need some advice on how to deal with such a psycho trying to turn my in laws against me and trying to make my feel bad about what I do to support my family.
Re: Being put down for being a stripper.
She hating, that's why she say about her bf looking at you. I ignore and laugh in her face just prove a point that you don't give a shit. Nothing really you can do but to avoid. If you got haters that means your doing something right
Re: Being put down for being a stripper.
Agreed with GG. Sorry, I started to read this the other night but it was too much because it is one big text block. Y'all sound country and southern as hell ( I live in the south, that is not a dig). Let her make herself sound cray. At this point your in-laws have heard her piece. Even if they do not like it you are the mother of their grandchildren and you alone are responsible for their opinion of you. If it were me- I would not even acknowledge her accusations of you being a stripper. Obviously your man knows and if anyone ever questioned it - he works and she is basing this on your "sex toys" that she should not have been digging around for. I do not believe anyone should be ashamed of adult work- I am just saying; you have your own family dynamic and it is no one else's business.
Try to maintain your own relationship with the in-laws and maybe do the southern-style family dinner once in awhile. She will dig her own grave. I am sorry she is in a wheel-chair but she probably has some deep-rooted self-image issues because of it. I am sure you do not try to look sexy for your man's brother. I am sure your future in-laws do not think so either.
Re: Being put down for being a stripper.
Thanks ladies ❤️ Just had to get a second opinion. I always try to improve myself if need be but in this case looks like I'm doing fine.
Re: Being put down for being a stripper.
She sounds super bitter. Just because she is dealing with a tough life situation doesn't mean she has to turn against other females who are just going about their daily life. Plenty of people don't do that.
Ugh, can't stand miserable individuals.
Re: Being put down for being a stripper.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Gia2608
Agreed with GG. Sorry, I started to read this the other night but it was too much because it is one big text block. Y'all sound country and southern as hell ( I live in the south, that is not a dig). Let her make herself sound cray. At this point your in-laws have heard her piece. Even if they do not like it you are the mother of their grandchildren and you alone are responsible for their opinion of you. If it were me- I would not even acknowledge her accusations of you being a stripper. Obviously your man knows and if anyone ever questioned it - he works and she is basing this on your "sex toys" that she should not have been digging around for. I do not believe anyone should be ashamed of adult work- I am just saying; you have your own family dynamic and it is no one else's business.
Try to maintain your own relationship with the in-laws and maybe do the southern-style family dinner once in awhile. She will dig her own grave. I am sorry she is in a wheel-chair but she probably has some deep-rooted self-image issues because of it. I am sure you do not try to look sexy for your man's brother. I am sure your future in-laws do not think so either.
This right here, (sorry I had troub reading it all too, had to point that out, like you haven't heard enough from that personM haha)
But no, I agree w/everyone, she sounds passive-agressive, she expects you to look/dress a certain way, when she deliberately shows up outta nowhere, then pounces on you when you don't 'measure up'::) wearing what she expects/wants?
Then hangs on to something (which actually she needed to hear), about the car seat?
Anyway, yea keep doing you, take care & welcome to the forum
Re: Being put down for being a stripper.
She's so jealous. Don't engage. Ignoring the drama is the onlyway to make it go away. Your inlaws will respect you for doing the good Christian thing and turning the other cheek letting your man step in to put her in her place because it's his family. You handled the situation like a lady!
Re: Being put down for being a stripper.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
vanessa_mtl
Ignoring the drama is the only way to make it go away.
Good lord, this. My husband and one of my sisters know I strip. The one sister is a competitive pole dancer with no stripping experience, and even she's like, "Bitch, get paid!" my dad would be somewhat judgemental, but my mom (if she were alive), would probably tell him to shut the fuck up. While nobody deserves to be degraded by what they do to PUT FOOD ON THE FUCKING TABLE, not listening to is is the best way for it to stop. She's only making herself look stupid, especially if you continue to ignore her, no matter what comes out of that fuckhole of a mouth. Just do you, girlfriend!