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If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
I mean it. If you already are a stripper, then you're a stripper and this post isn't for you. But if you're just thinking of stripping, my honest suggestion is: don't do it to yourself. I've been there and done that. I've been out of this industry for 2.5 years now and there's no way in hell im going back ever. Here's why:
when I was younger, I thought of stripping. Some girl I worked with at the time advertised this job to me and not to say this is her fault (by all means, it is not) I had finally decided to become a stripper. Before going into it, I found this very website and surfed it as much as I could. I read every single thread. I thought it would give me a better perspective into the world of stripping than any outside source would. Outside world told me that strippers come from broken homes, they have been abused in the past, that it is highly likely that you'd become a drug addict or that you'll get stalked by a customer and will be raped and killed. This forum told me it was just a job, like any other, except it's high paying, flexible and all you have to do is deal with horny annoying men. But all jobs are annoying aren't they? So I talked to this girl and decided to get into it. I worked like that for two years. I tell you what: I made a lot of money, I spent almost all of it on parties, shoes and alcohol. I never took drugs, even though I was offered them a hundred times. I was pulling $70k a year working five or six times a month. I thought it was awesome. I thought there was no point in continuing to go to school. I skipped classes, I dropped out. At work, I did the best job at ignoring the fact that my naked body was rubbing against sweaty, fat old ugly men. I can't imagine how many men had seen me naked. Hundreds probably. I don't want to imagine how many men had touched my naked body. Is it tens? Is it hundreds? I don't want to know how many times I was talked to dirty by complete strangers. I also don't want to know how many times I got spanked, pinched, liked all against my will. All after I said it was not ok. One day I quit. I had no college degree, no practical outside world skills, nothing to fill up my resume with. A couple month into it and my bank account plummeted. I went into depression. I cried every day. I could tell no one my troubles. I woke up every morning feeling disgusted with myself and everything I've seen. I felt disgusted that I once was around drugs and all men who had no respect for me. Did I get stalked, raped, killed? Not even close. Every one of my customers was an older gentleman who just wanted to have a little fun. You see all these people on the streets and some of them are older men. Look at them. Would you like them to see you naked, would you like them to touch you? Better yet, if someone came up to you and said that if you got naked right here right now, they'd give you a dollar or two, would you do it? If you become a stripper the answer to all these questions will be yes.
Girl, if you're young and pretty, if you think you need money, if you think you want money, don't do it. I beg you do something else. Strippers in here will tell you that it's all good, it's a good job with great pay. I thought so too while I was stripping, but after I was done, it came to haunt my mind and my soul. You don't want that. It's going to be hard. You'd have to work extra hours somewhere, you'd have to scramble, you'd have to combine work and school. Maybe you have a kid you need to support. But don't strip. For your own sake, don't strip. ❤️
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Re: If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
You shouldn't warn by what decisions you made by not saving those funds at the time that resulted in consequence. Some people disconnect from shyness and bashfulness when nude than other's, its like comparing apples to oranges.
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Re: If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
Well, thanks for sharing, but I don't think that applies to everyone, & for sure not me.
Good luck.
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Re: If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
Oh for fucks sake.
1) So just because YOU wasted your money, dropped out of school, have nothing to show for it financially, etc etc other bad choices, that means being a stripper is a bad idea? Give me a break.
- Blowing money is not directly tied to being a stripper. I've seen that happen to many people in other industries who also made ridiculous amounts of money at a young age. It happens to people who don't even make that much money! Who do you know who has a huge savings account to show for their work? It's not a stripper thing; it's a maturity thing and a not knowing how to budget or plan for the future thing, and probably a consumer culture thing... But I digress.
- For every dancer who wastes their money on parties/shoes/alcohol, there is another who's paying for college or saving for a house or paying down debt. Not all of us are blowing it all irresponsibly on stupid shit.
2) You obviously had some deep issue with sex work in general, judging by the whole "How many men had touched my body or talked dirty" bit. If that is a 'thing' you have, or those are things you are uncomfortable with, no, you shouldn't strip. Other people will be comfortable with things you are not.
- On that note, it sounds like you did not enforce personal boundaries which is also a "you" issue, not an "all strippers" issue. You make it sound like you get assaulted every shift. If someone crosses your boundary, you end the damn dance and take their money. YOU are in charge. You don't HAVE to do anything, you're not an employee.
- If you need a forum to convince you something is a good idea, then IMHO you are really not actually okay with that something deep in your own mind.
This post really irritates me. Stripping and sex work is not inherently bad. Not everyone is going to leave with no money & feeling 'dirty'. Don't try to paint us all with the same brush you allowed to slap thick coats of swamp mud all over your experience.
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Re: If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
Attention Baby Strippers (a flow chart style addendum to those who come across this thread & wonder if they will end up like the OP's horror story):
~Are you comfortable with being naked? Are you ok with being touched by strangers? Are you at least semi-responsible with money (i.e., you manage to NOT blow last nights earnings on shoes and Grey Goose, and stuff at least a little of it into a savings account)? Do you have another goal you want to fund and realize dancing is a stepping stone to that goal if used responsibly? Are you capable of thinking for yourself and telling people 'no'? Do you have no real interest in being popular at work or in partying?~
Then fucking go audition.
~Are you bad at telling people 'no' ? Do you have nothing going on in your life and are bored/looking for adventure or to rebel? Are you in general a weak-willed sort of person/completely naive/prone to following the wrong people? Do you 'really need the money' and are willing to 'sacrifice your dignity' to get it? Are you not okay with being touched or having to talk to strangers, but will 'be okay after a few drinks' ?~
Then do not be a stripper.
How To Be At Least Semi-Successful At Dancing & Not Leave With A Bad Taste In Your Mouth/Psyche Damage:
- Set boundaries with customers & enforce them. Don't like being touched at all? Find an air dance club. Ok with touching but not mouths? Tell guys before you start the dance. Etc. Someone violates your boundary? Decide how many 'strikes' you want to allow, or zero tolerance even, and warn them or end the dance and collect. You can even charge them an 'asshole tax' if you want. You're the boss!
- Stay out of drama in the club. Be polite & nice but not a doormat & don't try to make friends. You are there to make money, not socialize or party.
- Don't get drunk or high. If you can do a couple drinks without getting incapacitated, cool, but do not lose control of yourself.
- Work consistently. Set a goal you want to reach financially.
- Budget. Know where your money goes. Save. Save for the day you sprain your ankle, save for next semester's tuition, save to pay a debt off. Make your money go somewhere that matters.
- Do not lose touch with the outside world. You will be miserable and have nothing and nowhere to go when you quit dancing. If you don't have school or another job, have an outside hobby. Hang out with 'vanilla world' friends. Don't make the club your life. Don't make 'stripper' your entire identity.
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Re: If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
:rotfl:I love Selina^! & Lol!
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Re: If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
I think the OP needs therapy if shes feeling like that. I danced 10 years and it was good for the most part way more ups than downs, I made some mistakes but you will in any job. If any girl wants to do it then she should, there are other things to warn people against, its not for everyone but people will find out on there own.
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Re: If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
It sounds to me like you regret getting touched and all the downsides (for some) of stripping and having nothing to show for it more than being a stripper. I don't blame you. I would be pissed if I had no money, no education, and/or no assets when all is said and done. It is my worst fear actually. I recommend you look into a sex worker friendly therapist. I think the moral of your story is if you're going to be a stripper, for gods sakes save your money, get an education, have some assets, or a backup plan because living with regret is not easy. Good luck OP and all baby strippers to be.
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Re: If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
70k a year working 6 times a month? Hmmm. Your spending habits sound like it would be an issue with any job.
"would you like them to touch you?... if you're a stripper the answer is yes" what even????
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Re: If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
Please tell me you paid taxes on that money...
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Re: If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
I agree with ariel, the OP is obviously very upset she has no education, savings or real assets.
I get it, when you're new and having 4-5x as much money thrown at you as you used to make in a day, it often takes a while to start being responsible about it. It wasn't until two years into full-time dancing that I got REALLY serious about saving money and using the goldmine of dancing for something better than just disposable income.
But... whose fault are those 2 years with nothing else to show for it? Mine. What did I do about it? I buckled down and started being responsible with the money and freedom. What did I not do? Come on StripperWeb and blame the industry for the decisions of my younger self.
It's easier to blame an already stigmatized occupation than to take personal responsibility for wasting money and free time. I'm sorry she feels she got nothing out of it except a disgusted feeling... but that isn't the club's fault or the industry's fault or the men or anyone. This business can actually be great for some girls mentally/emotionally, it can be a goldmine, or a stepping stone, or any number of positive things... but if you aren't going to use it for those things, or go into it not being completely accepting of sex work in general, it does have the capacity to make you feel like shit and end up like OP.
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Re: If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
this thread makes me miss stripping so I could hustle out every girl like this in my club. wah :( I miss those days :P :) <3
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Re: If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
Sorry that you're feeling this way.
I think a percentage of people who enter careers in adult fields will come to regret it for whatever reasons.
I know personally my perception of stripping was a woman walking around in a stage while men toss lots of money at her. When I started dancing I had no clue what to expect. No one tells you the reality (you have to avoid the "dark side" type men, some men will press you for more than dancing, some clubs keep the alcohol flowing and maybe even drugs, dancers will try you, it's like a sales job and you have to put in effort, etc)
It's a sexually charged environment and some men, especially those with no home training, mental illness, or the ones highly intoxicated will try and test a woman's physical and emotional boundaries. This can be triggering for women who have been sexually, physically, or emotionally abused. However the security and managers will be on your side to prevent issues or to give consequences for those who do get out of line.
If you're having difficulty with working as a stripper/being stripper in the past then definitely reach out to a trustworthy person / professional. Don't suffer in silence or keep going back to do work that you hate. Money can be received in numerous ways not just the strip club. Have faith and stay positive. You are not your bank account. You are valuable whether it says -$15 or $15,000,000. And be open to the many ways you can and will increase your net worth over time.
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Re: If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
If someone crosses your boundaries, you have the right to say "no" and finish whatever you're doing. That part is true. But as a young girl, do you really want to deal with people constantly crossing your boundaries? Selena, do you dance fully clothed and five feet away from the customer? Or do you only leave your thong on while people shove one dollar bills in it? This work is degrading AF. That's all I'm trying to say. Of course you all will defend it because you all are doing it. It's when you're done with it, that's when regret comes.
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Re: If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
Selena, did you know you can make money without degrading yourself? I didn't. I know now and that's what I'm trying to tell people who are thinking about doing it. This post isn't for you. You're too far deep.
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Re: If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
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Re: If you're thinking of stripping, DO NOT become a stripper
I'm all for other's stories and perspectives on their experiences in the adult industry, even if they aren't pretty. This was your experience, and it's legit. I think the "bad sides" of the industry are just as valuable as knowing the good sides, because it's just as silly, in my mind, to glamourize the industry as it is to declare that it's all drugs, pimps, and STDs.
However, I also agree with the notion that you cannot blame an industry or this forum for the decisions you personally made. This site is for support, not to come here and proselytize about how horrible the industry is for everyone, based on your experience as one person - and certainly not for talking down to other members by telling them that they should make money in other ways that aren't "degrading."
I'm sorry you had the experience you did. I hope you work through your issues with your past and are able to come to peace with it. I'll leave the thread up, but I'm closing it.