How to 'loosen' up without drinking?
So I've been told by a few people at the club that I look disappointed or irritated even though I force myself to stay calm mentally. I'll admit I am a bit shy and not a huge people person, but I can have a good conversation which is where one of my strengths lie. I don't drink (bc alcohol just tastes nasty to me) but I may eventually try a small thing of wine. Several people have offered me wine while on shift, and looking back, Im guessing they were trying to help me to feel less tense.
I do have a lot of things to worry about so could that be making me come across as tense? I don't think I'm too good at acting, but will I just need a little more time to get used to the job so I'm not coming off as tense?
Thanks!
Re: How to 'loosen' up without drinking?
You'll relax as you go. One thing to keep reminding yourself is that there is no reason to be stressed- the worst thing somebody can say is "no", and you simply move along to the next customer. As silly as it sounds, you may have to practice a "content/chill" face in the mirror and make sure you emulate that at the club. Also customers say a lot of crap just to try to get a rise out of you. Always try to turn it back into something sexy that you can use to sell, i.e. "I'm disappointed I'm not getting naked for you in vip right now" "I'm irritated I'm still wearing these clothes, you should help me get out of them" etc.
Tbh when people offer you alcohol it's either just the social activity of buying a drink for a dancer (the nice option) or they're trying to get you drunk because they think your boundaries will be more lax/they'll be able to take you home.
As far as outside stuff making you tense, try to "let it go" when you walk through the door. The real you has legit things to worry about, but "stripper you" is a fantasy girl who has no real problems and exists to make money. Stripper you is anything you want to portray, just fake it till you make it. A lot of girls I've worked with are actually quite shy/antisocial in the outside world, but once the makeup is on they're chatty social butterflies. Just keep faking it until you make it, everything becomes more natural as you gain experience.
Re: How to 'loosen' up without drinking?
SJ is right. ^^ As you gain experience, you'll settle in and relax, and you'll get to know people. Don't ever give personal info away, but have fun with the customers. It also helps to make them laugh. Laughter often leads to lapdances.
I don't drink at work either. I drink glasses of lemon water all night. I've just learned to relax and have faith that the money will be there. it always comes somehow.
Re: How to 'loosen' up without drinking?
I'd always do things before the club that help me relax. Like sauna therapy, yoga, meditation, etc. Stay focused on this feeling. And then clear my mind and channel this feeling one inside the club.
Also breathing slowly.
And sometimes just pretending to be buzzed / tipsy helped me feel that way even though I really wasn't.
Re: How to 'loosen' up without drinking?
Thanks ladies for the advice. Also, how do I ease a guy into a lap dance instead of awkwardly asking for one?
Re: How to 'loosen' up without drinking?
Re: How to 'loosen' up without drinking?
Like many have said, time is really all you need.
Personally I have a little routine to help me get in the right mindset to work. After I check in and get my pasties I like to smoke one cigarette and dance on stage before approaching customers. When I first walk into the club I still get an anxious feeling and feel a little shy. The cigarette gives me time to see what girls are there, what guys are there and where they are sitting or who they are talking to. Being on stage always makes me feel more confident and sexy so after my set I feel ready to make my move. I can also use my stage set to gauge who is looking at me the most so I know who to target when I get down.
I've come across a few girls with similar ideas. One girl always did her makeup in the dressing room and drank a redbull before talking to anyone. One girl would meditate before hitting the floor.
Re: How to 'loosen' up without drinking?
I get there early and sit w the first customers I see. I always ask for a dance, but I never expect it from the first customers. This takes the pressure off and actually increases the likelihood of them getting a dance because you don't seem desperate, you seem fun and relaxed. I use them to warm me up. Sometime, you get lucky and they take you to VIP immediately. Sometimes, they don't spend money and there's no pressure bc they're just your warm-up guy, so on to the next!
Re: How to 'loosen' up without drinking?
Could this also be why a few customers end the dance early? Some of them seem to sense that I'm tense from time to time?
Re: How to 'loosen' up without drinking?
Are they cutting the dances short or just not extending? If they are cutting them short (they are essentially not getting what they paid for) they may sense your inexperience or you may be doing something they do not like (putting too much pressure with your knee and hurting them. Either way do not worry, lap dancing is not very hard and you will get the hang of it within a few weeks- try to watch what the other girls (esp. the ones that sell strings of dances) are doing.