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New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
Hey ya'll,
I'm a new escort. I've thought about doing this work for a long time, and I've come to it with a lot of excitement, enthusiasm, and willingness. This is something I've dreamed of for so many years, something that seems so perfect for someone as sexually-oriented, adventurous, and good with people as me.
I've been completely frustrated and disillusioned after a couple weeks of trying to see clients, so much that I feel like I need to take my ad down from Backpage until I figure what's going wrong and start again better. The guys who have contacted me, scores of guys, have been:
-bad at communicating
-disrespectful/misogynistic
-so secretive they won't let me screen them
-ignoring of specifics in my ad like outcalls only
-expecting me to base my schedule on them
-flaking out on me and standing me up
-refusing to confirm that they'll pay me (the one I've actually seen started touching me right away and ran when I said he had to pay me first).
I'm so frustrated I'm heartbroken. I have spent hours and hours communicating with and trying to see these guys, and so far I haven't even had one successful client, not one time getting paid.
I've seen the "everything beginners need to know" post that talks about getting a website and going for more respectful, professional, and stable clientele, which seems really smart and worthwhile. I would like to give that a try. I guess I really just wanna know what works for other people. What are our best practices as escorts? What kinds of support are out there so girls who are starting out don't get screwed or put in danger? Anyone else started out with this much frustration and found a winning strategy?
I would love to make some friends on these forums. Please say hi and offer empathy and wisdom to me if you got it :)
xo
Jacqui
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
Hello Jacqui,
I just started escorting last week, and I could have written Your post, word for word.
I had such high hopes that all I had to do was place a well-written ad, and the nice clients would find me, and answer it.
I can't believe how many guys don't read, or pay attention to simple things that I request.
I.E.~ Outcall Only (they ask for incall, if only for them) huh? gtfo!
*No text message~ I get at least 50 texts per hour.:-\
*Rates? When I give them my rate, they either try to haggle, or make the appt., then flake out. (Most want me to drive to them, screw without a condom for $100.) Lol! uh, yeah, no.
I HAVE stuck it out, and met some extremely lovely gentlemen, but, yikes! I'm so exhausted at the end of a day, just talking to these guys on the phone.
Yesterday I had had enough!
I finally had to call a girl I used to dance with a million years ago, who has been escorting for 20 plus years, and pick her brain.
She advertises on BP also. She told me to keep conversations short. To not waste my time talking to any Latino or foreign sounding men, because they usually don't have $$$$$, or they are raised to believe that women are second class citizens, and they treat them as such. To quote them a price so high, they will have to pass.
To never waste my time answering a text message. The guys who text are timewasters, and are only using text as a way to be sneaky and secretive.
Is she right?
Apparently. My first call after talking to her was from a Latino Guy. He agreed to pay my high rate, made the appt., then cancelled a few minutes later.::)
My next call was from an all American Chicago businessman, who, like myself, had just relocated to NYC.
He was happy to pay my rate. I drove out to his house. we had a terrific time, and he asked to see me again.
My gal pal makes anywhere from $600-$1000 per day, so I tend to believe her.
I would like there to be a private group set up here, so we can discuss things in private.
This is about as much as I would like to say here out in an open forum.
If a veteran escort would like to assist, please let me know.
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
I don't have time to write a lengthy post now but it's not you. The money just doesn't hop on your lap as soon as you post an ad. You're the new girl on the scene. The men are wary of new girls. Give it at least a month or two before things really pick up.
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
There was an escort on this forum who said she was independent but hired a trustworthy marketing/screening/booking service.
Maybe if you place a layer between yourself and these bottom of the barrel men (so that you're only corresponding with the one who have proven themselves) it will save you a bit of time and headache.
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
When Advertising on low rate, sleazy sites like Backpage, these things are expected. Yes, not all the time. But more often than most
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Exxotica
When Advertising on low rate, sleazy sites like Backpage, these things are expected. Yes, not all the time. But more often than most
Very true for some bigger cities, but in many areas backpage is a primary advertising platform.
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
Thanks so much for your answer! Yes, you're feeling me for sure, and the lower income guys are coming with more difficulty and disrespect in general, and for less money. Not that I want to be classist--I date guys who don't have a lot of money all the time, I come from a poor southern background myself, and capitalism sucks for people. But as an escort, I want to be professional and I want my getting appointments to be hassle-free and professional. I guess that's why the shock and disappointment. No one has been respecting me as a professional.
I hadn't considered that texters are time wasters, but based on my experience you are exactly right. I'm gonna have to switch to no texts.
I'm all down for a private group! Can we make one?
xo Jacqui
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
I actually have found the opposite, and prefer texting.
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
agreed. backpage should not be your primary or main source of advertising. most men on there aren't going to want to be screened as you're experiencing. a small tip would be to enter the number they called from on facebook & see if their profile pops up. try to do as much screening as you can from the information on his profile (assuming he has one). also, the lower your rates are is going to determine how sleazy of an interaction these guys will be expecting (both over the phone, & in person). requiring initial contact be via email cuts out a lot of time wasters as well.
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Exxotica
When Advertising on low rate, sleazy sites like Backpage, these things are expected. Yes, not all the time. But more often than most
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Shannon.
Very true for some bigger cities, but in many areas backpage is a primary advertising platform.
+100 @ Shannon's comment. Backpage is my primary source of advertising. It's not where you advertise but HOW you advertise and screen that determines what your experience will be with these escort malls. For some reason, a lot of providers still don't get that. Your marketing and presentation is key. As for getting guys to screen, a lot of them won't bother filing out your website so you have screen through conversation. Talk to them. Be friendly and use your communication skills. Get on screening sites like Verifyhim.com if you're not already on there. Don't make things harder than they have to be. Honestly, I don't know how i ever worked without VH. It's a wonderful screening tool.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
jacquiontheradio
Thanks so much for your answer! Yes, you're feeling me for sure, and the lower income guys are coming with more difficulty and disrespect in general, and for less money. Not that I want to be classist--I date guys who don't have a lot of money all the time, I come from a poor southern background myself, and capitalism sucks for people. But as an escort, I want to be professional and I want my getting appointments to be hassle-free and professional. I guess that's why the shock and disappointment. No one has been respecting me as a professional.
I hadn't considered that texters are time wasters, but based on my experience you are exactly right. I'm gonna have to switch to no texts.
I'm all down for a private group! Can we make one?
xo Jacqui
Anyone that has been in this business for more than a few months will tell you that men will treat you the way you allow them to.
You have to command and demand respect. Always always ALWAYS put needs FIRST. This is a business where you are allowed to be selfish.
Never compromise for $. On another site I frequent, a lady posted a thread saying she
was manipulated into free sex because the guy was cute and no talk of money had been had. She had seen the guy once before
with no issues, he asked her to lunch and started making out with her as soon as she opened the door and they had sex. Whose fault was that? hers. When you give men an inch, they'll take a mine. I don't give a flying fuck if Omar Hardwick walked into my suite, within five minutes of pleasantries I'll tell him "please place the donation on the counter please". These men know you are an escort. You are no less than their lawyer, doctor, account etc. And if you don't command that respect through your presentation and character, you'll be eaten for breakfast, lunch and dinner (no pun intended). Good things happen when you run a tight ship. A phone number and email is all you need. Now some girls don't even post a phone number but I've found that when I'm touring, posting a phone number while i'm in town makes a HUGE difference in income.
As for groups, join verifyhim.com if you need a support group. It's the best escort support group on the net imo.
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Shannon.
I actually have found the opposite, and prefer texting.
Hmm. Interesting.
How do you know who you are talking to?
Just run the number through fb? Or??
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
I just want to say thanks for all the helpful replies; I'm learning how to present myself professionally and keep my boundaries strong, and I appreciate you tough ladies who have been doing it <3
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
Join verify him.com if you want to be able to screen numbers pretty effectively and have access to a database of losers who other girls actively post info for in various cities when they run across them. Not that you should totally rule out clients in the database - some genuinely aren't bad guys just ... badly trained in booking etc. But it's helpful. First 10 screens are free.
Advertising solely on BP in a big city, makes zero sense, if you're in a small town, sure it works ... but if you're in NYC where I worked for years, you're going to have to invest a little to get good clients, as bad as it sounds sometimes working for a service under a different name also helps while you're building clientele. You'll need to start getting reviews on TER.
Eros is still a good platform for getting decent clients, captain 69 is worthwhile for international guys traveling in, room service 2000 has been popular for years, preferred 411 ... good but weird in some cities, date-check, , eccie etc. In NYC get onto best gfe forum ... in fact anywhere in the north east this forum is useful.
Not sure if that helps and sorry if I didn't read the OP too thoroughly ...
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Glamourmilf
Hmm. Interesting.
How do you know who you are talking to?
Just run the number through fb? Or??
I've found that in my area, and the city I'm in, screening isn't really done. Its unfortunate but knock on wood, I've never had a safety issue.
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
Hi, I'm retired from escorting. My 2017 advice about the biz is that you have to discriminate heavily with your clientele to avoid serious problems. Due to the Internet & MRA culture, I've had former clients try to out me by posting my pic, relatives freak out, & the usual BS some of these guys pull on women.
You're doing both yourself and your clients a favor by being picky.
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
Quote:
Originally Posted by
persianprincess
Join verify him.com if you want to be able to screen numbers pretty effectively and have access to a database of losers who other girls actively post info for in various cities when they run across them. Not that you should totally rule out clients in the database - some genuinely aren't bad guys just ... badly trained in booking etc. But it's helpful. First 10 screens are free.
Advertising solely on BP in a big city, makes zero sense, if you're in a small town, sure it works ... but if you're in NYC where I worked for years, you're going to have to invest a little to get good clients, as bad as it sounds sometimes working for a service under a different name also helps while you're building clientele. You'll need to start getting reviews on TER.
Eros is still a good platform for getting decent clients, captain 69 is worthwhile for international guys traveling in, room service 2000 has been popular for years, preferred 411 ... good but weird in some cities, date-check, , eccie etc. In NYC get onto best gfe forum ... in fact anywhere in the north east this forum is useful.
Not sure if that helps and sorry if I didn't read the OP too thoroughly ...
I tried to join verifyhim, but they said that since I can't prove I'm a female, they denied me a membership. huh?
I even told them that I would send a photo of my I.D,, yet...nope., they wouldn't do it.
can someone refer me?
P.M. me for my user name on there.
(I read on there the other day that a prostitute was murdered in Long Island.) So, yeah, I need to get on there so I can screen.
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
It's imperative that you sign up to certain screening sites(verifyhim) and use other resources such as spydialer, blacklists, etc. I assist a few ladies and I book quite a few appointments for them through text. I keep things short and sweet and do a reverse search on their phone number and that usually brings up everything that I need to know. If they are using a burner phone, that information comes up for me too when I trace their number and if they don't have a reputable reference then I usually end the conversation.
The most important thing is to screen thoroughly and not rely on just one means of verification. I know so many ladies who just will accept p411 as a reputable source and do no further screening. This is a big mistake in my opinion because there are some members on p411 that you don't want to see even though they are "verified." Screening a client can take time, but it's important for your safety! I pay for a ton of screening tools every month to make sure the ladies I assist are safe.
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Glamourmilf
I tried to join verifyhim, but they said that since I can't prove I'm a female, they denied me a membership. huh?
I even told them that I would send a photo of my I.D,, yet...nope., they wouldn't do it.
can someone refer me?
P.M. me for my user name on there.
(I read on there the other day that a prostitute was murdered in Long Island.) So, yeah, I need to get on there so I can screen.
Send me your username and I'll see if somehow I can verify you. Not sure if they allow referrals, but can try.
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
Quote:
Originally Posted by
sarabimaraj
The most important thing is to screen thoroughly and not rely on just one means of verification. I know so many ladies who just will accept p411 as a reputable source and do no further screening. This is a big mistake in my opinion because there are some members on p411 that you don't want to see even though they are "verified." Screening a client can take time, but it's important for your safety! I pay for a ton of screening tools every month to make sure the ladies I assist are safe.
This is true about P 411. I saw a guy from there who was a total jerk (he was drunk) & unfortunately for me he was perfectly nice to my friend so if I had mentioned my complaint I think I would have been disbelieved.
The majority of P 411 guys are great though.
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
Thanks! I'm working on getting on VerifyHim; I'm trying to get on P411 but apparently it's very selective and hard to prove that I'm trustworthy enough to use the service. I am, at least, making sure I get clients' first and last name with their address and phone number and giving that info to someone when I go to the appointment. But I know that's not a foolproof system :/
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
So, update--I've changed my ad to more professional wording and took out the ass pics, upped my rate, created an alter-ego booking agent to handle the business end with clients, and I'm working on getting on VerifyHim and P411. I'm also trying to get on The Erotic Review. I had a very good session with a client yesterday, and I have a long session scheduled with another client tomorrow :) Thanks for all your very helpful suggestions <3
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
TER you can just create a username and start positing on their advertising boards - if they won't initially let you post, just contact admin/support and give them your website/info etc and they'll adjust your account so you can
You'll need to place their banner/badge on the front page of your website.
xo
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
^^^ I never got any interest on TER without reviews.
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Re: New escort frustrations and need for sisterhood of hos
Ladies, don't post on Backpage!!!! TER and preferred411 are the only way I advertise.