She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
Weird story.
Had a friendly conversation with a dancer, and learned about a side business she was running (completely inoccuous, legal business, I won't provide details on the off chance someone here might recognize the scenario though...). Being interested in possibly being a customer of that other business I asked if she had a website or a card or something. She gave me her name, her actual name on facebook. I figured this would be a public persona type thing but nope--it's her actual personal facebook page, she just posts there with her family etc. And a few of the other dancers are also friends with her on fb, under their real names.
I honestly think she made a huge mistake giving me this, but cannot think of a way to let her know this that doesn't make me look creepy or condescending, nor am I even sure I should say anything.
What do you think?
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
I mean, it's not like she gave you the name of a page from which you could find her name, she gave you her actual name, so she KNOWS you know her name and which Facebook account is hers.
You may think she shouldn't have done that, but I've known quite a few dancers who are open about it and are fine with being friends with customers on Facebook -- the fact that she has other dancer friends on her Facebook implies she is at least mildly comfortable combining those two lives.
I just don't really understand what you want to say to her: "I know you gave me your name, but I just wanted to make super sure you want me to know it?" If you want to communicate with her about her business (or get more dances), get in touch, but you really have nothing to say to her otherwise.
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
It's HER choice. You may not have done it (and neither would I) but yeah she's a big girl and that's her call. So, just leave it
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
Makes sense, I'll just go with it then.
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
Wow, the serious issues in this section
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
What do you mean, Whirlerz?
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
Just being a bit sarcastic, carry on.
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
The fact that you posted this here tells me you wouldn't be one to trust with personal info. If a sex worker feels safe enough to share anything personal with you, please shut up about it.
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
Because it's impossibly hard to make up a name and a facebook page to go with it...
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Raziel
Because it's impossibly hard to make up a name and a facebook page to go with it...
Meh. It appears to be a normal, personal page, with mostly non-work-related friends and family interacting with her on the page. But anyway, I can't like, show it to you, so there's not really a way to proceed on the question of whether it's "really her personal fb page."
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
fbsmgirl
The fact that you posted this here tells me you wouldn't be one to trust with personal info. If a sex worker feels safe enough to share anything personal with you, please shut up about it.
I don't really understand why you think this. Do you see a way for anyone to have any info whatsoever about this person based on anything I've written?
Part of the weirdness of the situation was, there _wasn't_ any building of any kind of trust. We had a casual 10 minute chat, and boom, I have apparently now the real names of her and a few other dancers, and surely enough info to probably track her down had I been so inclined. Seems like unsafe behavior on her part--but, I figured, what do I know? And others above have made a convincing case that it's just not my business whether she's "behaving safely" or not so... that's that.
But I can't agree with you that I've engaged in any kind of breach or anything.
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sun Yat-Sen
Meh. It appears to be a normal, personal page, with mostly non-work-related friends and family interacting with her on the page. But anyway, I can't like, show it to you, so there's not really a way to proceed on the question of whether it's "really her personal fb page."
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sun Yat-Sen
I don't really understand why you think this. Do you see a way for anyone to have any info whatsoever about this person based on anything I've written?
Part of the weirdness of the situation was, there _wasn't_ any building of any kind of trust. We had a casual 10 minute chat, and boom, I have apparently now the real names of her and a few other dancers, and surely enough info to probably track her down had I been so inclined. Seems like unsafe behavior on her part--but, I figured, what do I know? And others above have made a convincing case that it's just not my business whether she's "behaving safely" or not so... that's that.
But I can't agree with you that I've engaged in any kind of breach or anything.
Why are you so worried about this? Seriously, who cares. I really doubt its their real names; and even if it was, why is it your problem? If it's that nerve wracking, delete it from your browser history and forget you ever saw it. Problem solved.
Seriously, it's just hustle. She's cultivating money not a marriage proposal, it's not that serious.
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
I think that she gave you this facebook page in order to gain more personal access to you. I believe that you freaked out and thought it was an romantic gesture. Maybe she should have explain that she like keeping in touch with her clients via facebook? Either way, it would be in your best interest to forget about her. Go to a less personal dancer and have fun. :)
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sun Yat-Sen
Meh. It appears to be a normal, personal page, with mostly non-work-related friends and family interacting with her on the page. But anyway, I can't like, show it to you, so there's not really a way to proceed on the question of whether it's "really her personal fb page."
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
DonaDiabla
I believe that you freaked out and thought it was an romantic gesture.
...hhhwat?
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Raziel
Why are you so worried about this? Seriously, who cares. I really doubt its their real names; and even if it was, why is it your problem? If it's that nerve wracking, delete it from your browser history and forget you ever saw it. Problem solved.
Seriously, it's just hustle. She's cultivating money not a marriage proposal, it's not that serious.
Sorry, I'm not too worried about it, as I said above, I got advice here and now it's resolved as far as I am concerned.
None of this is my problem. I was worried it was _her_ problem or a problem for her friends. I was just checking the intuitions of professionals here.
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
Lord, can I please just play devils advocate for a second here and say... MAYBE this guy is legit just asking a question and not reading anything into it except "Hey don't you guys think this is a little weird?" Which is perfectly logical given that we all walk around with fake names & he is on this board where he could easily go read any of the many threads about giving out Google Voice #s instead of real ones, avoiding being stalked, etc etc., that show we are obviously concerned for our privacy.
Sorry OP. Everyone here is quick to vilify blue posters and look for some ulterior motive. 90% of the time it's deserved, but I think you are the 10% that it isn't.
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
It could be a fake real page.
you never know what a real name is until you see government issued documents.
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
Look, I was saying that maybe you thought she gave you her Facebook page out because of a romantic gesture. However, it could be that she gave out her facebook because she want to connect you on a more personal level.;D
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sun Yat-Sen
...hhhwat?
Re: She gave me her actual fb page. Should and how do I tell her she shouldn't have?
Thanks to the "magic" of fb data mining sometimes fb shares pages & info whether the person wants to or not.
(BTW California outlawed employers ordering access to employee social media. In case you're curious about how big of a pain in the behind all of that is....)