Bad at approaching people
So I've been dancing for a year now, and I feel like I'm getting lost with my hustle. It has been slow, which definitely has not helped me, but I still find it hard to approach everyone. I'm not sure why? I'm very quick to judge people and the rejection gets me down so I'd rather not approach everyone. My hustle is also not that aggressive or long so usually they just say "maybe later" "I just got here" "how about just one song"... I feel like they find it easy to say no to me - but I make it that way?? With my wording.
And when I force myself to approach people I can't seem to hustle well at all!! I get awkward and repetitive and don't know what to say... so just forcing myself and continuing to try doesn't seem to work :/
What do you guys say when you don't know what to say? Like a standard dialogue for when you're not into the guy but still (obviously) want the sale. Mine goes like this
"hi, looks like you need some company! *giggle*"
"my name is Kaya what's you're name?"
"how are you doing tonight?"
"Where are you from?"
"Have you been here before?" Or "what brings you in tonight?"(I don't like either of these actually... they usually just say yes or no, or just a boring answer like relaxing/I don't know)
"are you staying a while?"
"well then let's go have some fun!"
It just feels very scripted and boring to me... what else can I try??
Re: Bad at approaching people
In addition to the classic, "every no brings you closer to a yes," just because your hustle feels repetitive to you, doesn't mean it is for the customer. You may be saying the same thing to each customer, but for them, it's the first time they're having the conversation with you.
Your script is pretty standard though, so it's what the vast majority of other dancers are also saying.
I usually open with asking what brings the customer out, which helps me tailor my hustle and come up with conversation topics. If they seem receptive, I'll slide down into the seat next to them while asking if they'd like some company, then ask what they like to do for fun. It's not a revolutionary question, but it's a bit different than the typical strip club conversation and often gets them to open up about something they like, which helps me further tailor my hustle and keep the conversation fun and geared towards them.
My follow up questions tend to be specific (ie. if they say they're from X town, I don't ask what it's like, I ask what the strip clubs are like, or what the best place to eat it, or something else that's ideally geared to the rest of the conversation), which gets the customer talking more (this is always my goal, everyone likes to talk about themselves and most customers just want a sexy lady who will enjoy listening to them ramble) and keeps each conversation from getting too repetitive for me.
Then when it's time to close the sale, I'll do it in a way that ties in to the conversation we've been having. If we've been talking about travel, I'll tell them it's time to go on our own escape. If we've been talking about sports, I'll tell them we should go for a hat trick. It's super cheesy, but it works because it shows that I've been paying attention, which makes him feel special.
Re: Bad at approaching people
Rejection is just part of the game.
I think it was Jim rohn who said "some will, some won't, so what". Basically try not to take rejection personally. If a dude rejected me I always thought "you might not spend money with me but someone else will".
And that on average 3 out of 10 will say yes. So if your ratios are higher you're doing well, if they're lower then either the customers are freeloaders, your hustle could use improvement, or combination of both.
Me personally I approach just about everyone to help me get practice then I blend the chat with rapport building and sexy talk. If you leave out the seduction they only see you as a friend not a dancer they'd spend money on.
Also if you get rejected multiple times in a row, take a break go to DR. Customers are watching you and if they see you getting rejected it lowers your value in their minds. If you go the the DR a few min, then come back, it makes it look like you're busy in VIP.
Re: Bad at approaching people
Quote:
Originally Posted by
cindyrella
So I've been dancing for a year now, and I feel like I'm getting lost with my hustle. It has been slow, which definitely has not helped me, but I still find it hard to approach everyone. I'm not sure why? I'm very quick to judge people and the rejection gets me down so I'd rather not approach everyone. My hustle is also not that aggressive or long so usually they just say "maybe later" "I just got here" "how about just one song"... I feel like they find it easy to say no to me - but I make it that way?? With my wording.
And when I force myself to approach people I can't seem to hustle well at all!! I get awkward and repetitive and don't know what to say... so just forcing myself and continuing to try doesn't seem to work :/
What do you guys say when you don't know what to say? Like a standard dialogue for when you're not into the guy but still (obviously) want the sale. Mine goes like this
"hi, looks like you need some company! *giggle*"
"my name is Kaya what's you're name?"
"how are you doing tonight?"
"Where are you from?"
"Have you been here before?" Or "what brings you in tonight?"(I don't like either of these actually... they usually just say yes or no, or just a boring answer like relaxing/I don't know)
"are you staying a while?"
"well then let's go have some fun!"
It just feels very scripted and boring to me... what else can I try??
1. Try not to prejudge people just go in with an open mind cause ya never know
2. Sometime you can be a bit aggressive (if it suits you) cause a percentage of men like women taking charge
3. Don't discount those single song buyers - charge more for singles and offer deals for chunks of dances. Use that one song as an opportunity to upsell. At worst one song is $20-$40 more than what you had a few min ago.
4. Yes it's easy for them to say no to you cause they pick up on your vibes (feeling unsure, not confident). Study body language techniques.
5. Good job for challenging yourself to approach people that's the way you hone your skill. It will seem awkward at first till you get the hang of it. Just relax a bit though.
6. If you feel scripted and boring most likely they'll feel it too. Maybe read some erotica or watch some erotic films to increase your sexiness in the club. Learn some sales tactics. And just have fun with it. Don't pressure or be too hard on yourself.
Re: Bad at approaching people
I'll use a pretty scripted convo with some customers but not with literally every customer I approach. My club may be a little different cause it's a busy club even during the day and alot of the custys don't need a long convo to start spending money. So I tend to keep my convos short (unless it's a customer I think may get a room).
Sometimes I have the basic convo similar to yours: How's your day/night been? Where are you from? (maybe ask about the clubs there like shanna said) Talk a little about that & then switch to the sale (something like 'you look bored we need to go have some fun!)
Other times I'll keep it light and sexy: Talk about my body somehow like, omg my dress just does not want to stay on right now! or omg my nipples keep popping out! (so lame but customers like it lol) Or if they look like they workout I squeeze their biceps and talk about how in shape they are. Sometimes I say they look like a male stripper and they always laugh at that. I've asked guys to tell me what their stripper name would be lol it usually leads to a fun convo and is easy to transition to a sale.
Or I'll just keep it super short and sell a dance by asking if they've ever been to California (where I'm from) and that they need a dance from a Cali girl. That usually works too. & I've said this one in another thread but I ask if the guy's done any dances yet and if he says no I say 'ok then lets go!' But if he says yes I say 'but it wasnt from me so it doesn't count!' That literally works like.. everytime lol.
Long story short just dont stick to one script on every single customer. I bet after a while it starts to sound monotonous even if the guy hasn't met you. Switch it up depending on who the customer is and have fun with it. Also body language is important. And YES don't discredit the single dance guys. I literally can make so much just bouncing from customer to customer getting a dance or two. It's more work and I obviously would rather stack them but sometimes you have to work with what you have lol.
Re: Bad at approaching people
Put yourself in the mindset of "I belong here & this person deserves a chance to be comfortable here too."
Most men work in annoying/stressful/cut throat environments so every little bit of cute female attention is eaten up at a nightclub. That's how clubs regulars are born.
Re: Bad at approaching people
If one guy says "maybe later" its guiding you to the guy who will be super generous and take you for lengths of time.
No matter how down you are, approach every guy with a smile and your best intro. If it get a lot of nos, go to the dr and freshen up to throw them off. They will know you are busy and a hot commodity.
Re: Bad at approaching people
You need to change your script. Maybe stop giggling. Maybe less talk more action: handshake, pat on the shoulder, body language, eye contact, vocal time.
Maybe you are so focused on your script that you don't here what the customer is trying to say or realise what he really wants. Listen, nod, respond, communicate. It's very short sited to just think about the sale. A shoe salesman needs to know size, style and budget.