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Women Doing The Pursuing???
So I'm watching this Corey Wayne dude (some "dating coach" whose tactics seem to lean towards PUA) and now I'm more confused than ever about men and dating.
He claims and coaches guys that "When women really like you and you follow the progression in the book, they will do 100% of the calling, texting and pursuing after the first two to three weeks of dating, on average."
Is this true? Or is this how pick up artist think?
I thought men men like to do most the pursuing throughout the entire relationship.
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
Sounds like PUA b/s to me..
I mean, I can see showing interest & be encouraging, but for cry fucking eye I am not going to chase ANYONE down::) (some 'friends' expect that, in my opinion)
Eh, Idk him, but to me he sounds like the guy that wrote Venus & Mars crap, didn't know shit about what he was talking about
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
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Originally Posted by
miss.a.p1600
" They will do 100% of the calling, texting and pursuing after the first two to three weeks of dating, on average."
Assume for a second you were dating women, wouldn't you want this for yourself? Depending on the relationship of course.
If the relationship is just a booty call (and I do make certain there are no feelings in the way) I never call/text/ask, ever, and I love it. Whenever she is in the mood I am in the mood. It is perfect sexual compatibility. Its probably the number one reason I am polyamorous, I am never thirsty.
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I thought men men like to do most the pursuing throughout the entire relationship.
If its a LTR the point is that there are no games. If I play a game there is zero intimacy.
I am not saying there cannot be grand overtures (like proposing for example) but the end result is never in doubt (that she desperately wants to says yes), its a theater play not a game.
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
^^^well I don't think I'd want a woman to chase me 100% because then I'd see her as desperate and lonely and not attractive. Plus if i didn't at least work a little bit like zero effort it would be easier to take advantage or not appreciate her.
Obviously no one wants to come off looking like a thirst bucket but idk. I just thought it would be some middle ground.
In my ideal relationship I'd expect the man to do 60% of the pursuing - the entire relationship.
But This Corey Wayne dude says men should let women do at least 70% pursuing?
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
I didn't click on his vid, cause everything about him screams ASSHOLE, sorry.
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
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Originally Posted by
whirlerz
I didn't click on his vid, cause everything about him screams ASSHOLE, sorry.
Lol!!! I'm glad you didn't. And that was my initial impression about him too. I really didn't want to give him any extra free publicity but just wanted to give some context.
He has this smug look in all his videos lol. I find it hard to believe women chase after this dude but on his blog he claims to make multiple six figures so maybe that's why. And every video he bullies his callers/viewers to buy his book (which is 4x the average price of other ebooks)
But he has tens of thousands of YouTube views and thousands of positive reviews on Amazon so that's why I was like is there some validity to his opinion that the woman should do most of the chasing?
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
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That's what I don't get like what's a game and what's not?
Obviously no one wants to come off looking like a thirst bucket but idk. I just thought it would be some middle ground.
Obviously not all men are the same, you have to realize at what point you are in a relationship and who you are dealing with.
The closest truism I can give you is that no man wants a woman that is settling for them. As long as you make him feel masculine and 100% sexually attractive every step of the way, you should not be sinking at the very least.
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The last dude I was with claimed I didn't show interest and needed to chase him more. Idk if he was playing mind games with me or if i really was aloof and men really like that sort of thing. I assumed he was batshit crazy and told him straight up if he expected me to chase him I would see him in the feminine role.
Openly saying that you "expect" to be chased sounds really insecure. You were 100% right. The problem is not that you did not chase, is that you did not want to chase, and he was entitled to something he did not deserve.
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I would see him in the feminine role.
Yeah for a guy looking feminine is almost always suicide, on a personal note that is the only reason why I am a Dom, As long as the safewords are 100% clear, I have no qualms manhandling, slapping asses, and I even know how to do safe chocking with edging. I can do vanilla too, but never ever ever submissive... I am 100% incompatible with a domme.
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
If a man isn't courting and pursuing you in the beginning, what makes you think he'll put any effort during and into the relationship?!
I am a liberal Hoe with old schooled values. I believe that the man should be doing the pursuing or you'll never know if he's truly interested. Fuckboys would tell you otherwise but I am anti fuckboys.
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
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Originally Posted by
miss.a.p1600
He has this smug look in all his videos lol.
Sorry to say, that smug look works. As do so many of the (often patently ridiculous) techniques these PUA types employ. I could never bring myself to insult a womans calves in order to get laid, or use any of these other tricks I've heard about over the years. But there's a reason these 'PUA Coaches' exist.
if there's one thing I've learned, it's that (most) women will line up to fuck a guy who is already getting fucked. It's even worse in the clubs, with the male staff.
I gave up trying to figure out why we are still stuck with this most ancient of mammalian herd mating instincts, but we sure as shit still are. Many of you are exceptional women, I am sure, so no need to take offense.
These PUA types have just figured out ways of making this and other atavistic mating rituals work in their favor. A cocky smile is one of the most important weapons a guy can use in this process.
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
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Originally Posted by
miss.a.p1600
I thought men men like to do most the pursuing throughout the entire relationship.
Fuck that. I will never jump through hoops for anything or anyone.
Now, if I meet a woman who can match me mentally, and returns affection without need of petty bullshit games, there is no end to what I will do for her.
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
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Originally Posted by
Marina Starr
If a man isn't courting and pursuing you in the beginning, what makes you think he'll put any effort during and into the relationship?!
I am a liberal Hoe with old schooled values. I believe that the man should be doing the pursuing or you'll never know if he's truly interested. Fuckboys would tell you otherwise but I am anti fuckboys.
Thats exactly what I was thinking. Ive chased men in the past when I didn't know any better and it NEVER worked out, like ever. So these past few years I figured I'd let the man "chase" me so that way I know beyond reason of a doubt that he is interested in me.
I guess there is a balance?? If you could put a percentage on how much pursuing a guy should do during the relationship what would it be?
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Originally Posted by
Djoser
Fuck that. I will never jump through hoops for anything or anyone.
Now, if I meet a woman who can match me mentally, and returns affection without need of petty bullshit games, there is no end to what I will do for her.
I didn't mean necessarily jumping through hoops but I could see how if you pursue a game player type person it would feel that way.
When I'm thinking of pursuing Im thinking:
a) Setting up dates
b) Calling/texting first
c) Initiating exclusivity each step (asking to be boyfriend, asking to get engaged, asking to move in, setting wedding date, etc.)
d) etc.
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
I believe the guy should do 70% of the pursuing during the relationship. A man that is right for you wouldn't mind pleasing and making sure you are happy. That doesn't mean that you are a user or taker. You can show him appreciation and surprise him with dinner or nice things here and there. With men it's all about ego. You praise/stroke it when they are good and it's amazing how much you'll get out of them.
And girl, NEVER chase any man. Dicks are a dime a dozen. If a man doesn't do the chasing then he doesn't really want it bad enough.
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Originally Posted by
miss.a.p1600
Thats exactly what I was thinking. Ive chased men in the past when I didn't know any better and it NEVER worked out, like ever. So these past few years I figured I'd let the man "chase" me so that way I know beyond reason of a doubt that he is interested in me.
I guess there is a balance?? If you could put a percentage on how much pursuing a guy should do during the relationship what would it be?
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
Miss.a.p1600,
I do not think that is true. Frankly, I believe that everything should be based on mutual interested and everyone should call each other. Personally, I believe that Corey Wayne is referring to women who have that high school mentality or desperate. You know, how high school girls called their boyfriends like thousands of times a day :) LoL! Seriously, I am not going to chase men :)
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Originally Posted by
miss.a.p1600
So I'm watching this Corey Wayne dude (some "dating coach" whose tactics seem to lean towards PUA) and now I'm more confused than ever about men and dating.
He claims and coaches guys that "When women really like you and you follow the progression in the book, they will do 100% of the calling, texting and pursuing after the first two to three weeks of dating, on average."
Is this true? Or is this how pick up artist think?
I thought men men like to do most the pursuing throughout the entire relationship.
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
You are right, Marina :) However, I believe it should be more like 70 percent on that guys part. Also, you are right about dick being everywhere :)
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Originally Posted by
Marina Starr
I believe the guy should do 60% of the pursuing during the relationship. A man that is right for you wouldn't mind pleasing and making sure you are happy. That doesn't mean that you are a user or taker. You can show him appreciation and surprise him with dinner or nice things here and there. With men it's all about ego. You praise/stroke it when they are good and it's amazing how much you'll get out of them.
And girl, NEVER chase any man. Dicks are a dime a dozen. If a man doesn't do the chasing then he doesn't really want it bad enough.
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
Oh girl, I stand corrected. You are right, let me go back and edit my post. 60% is too kind. 70% it is ;D
Dicks are certainly EVERYWHERE. All I do is say NO to dicks, LOL!
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Originally Posted by
DonaDiabla
You are right, Marina :) However, I believe it should be more like 70 percent on that guys part. Also, you are right about dick being everywhere :)
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
I don't know who corey wayne is, never heard of him, didn't even know he existed until now but I do not like his message. They are perfect for men that don't have your best interest. #nothanks
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Originally Posted by
DonaDiabla
Miss.a.p1600,
I do not think that is true. Frankly, I believe that everything should be based on mutual interested and everyone should call each other. Personally, I believe that Corey Wayne is referring to women who have that high school mentality or desperate. You know, how high school girls called their boyfriends like thousands of times a day :) LoL! Seriously, I am not going to chase men :)
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
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Originally Posted by
DonaDiabla
Frankly, I believe that everything should be based on mutual interested and everyone should call each other.
EXACTLY
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Originally Posted by
DonaDiabla
Personally, I believe that Corey Wayne is referring to women who have that high school mentality...
The problem is, the vast majority of men and women will never, ever progress beyond that high school mentality. Ergo, 'Dating Coaches', PUAs, and women who read & write the 'Rules' books.
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Originally Posted by
miss.a.p1600
I didn't mean necessarily jumping through hoops.
When I'm thinking of pursuing Im thinking:
a) Setting up dates
b) Calling/texting first
c) Initiating exclusivity each step (asking to be boyfriend, asking to get engaged, asking to move in, setting wedding date, etc.)
d) etc.
But a) & b) almost always devolve into all these ridiculous Rules of Engagement. Don't ever call them too soon, or too late, after you meet them/get their number. The 1st 'date' can't ever be too formal, or too casual either--and good luck trying to figure out what these definitions will mean for each woman, until you get to know her better than usual (in a casual dating atmosphere). Asking one woman out to dinner at a nice restaurant will have her freaking the fuck out that you're way too serious & formal--asking another woman to simply meet somewhere for coffee/lunch or a drink at a club you both like will be way too casual & she will think you are just another flaky douchebag, or worse yet, that you are too 'Passive'. There's generally a middle ground and you can read the women pretty easily in many cases--but with any of the gigantic hordes of 'high school mentality' women, get any one of all the hundreds of Rules wrong and it's way too easy to blow the whole thing (or not--probably they aren't worth all the bullshit anyway). The guy also typically has to 'take charge' and plan the whole date--asking the woman what she might like to do is strictly verboten as again, too passive, i.e. you're not an Alpha Male so entirely out of the question, even if you can kill any of their exes in 10 seconds barehanded. There's lots more Rules about the first few dates, but you get the idea.
I can't be bothered with that shit.
Not when relaxing & just having a 'meeting of the minds'--as women with their shit together will make easy--will be much more beneficial to all involved.
When I was in college and the first few years after, I just let them come to me. Then I moved to Daytona, which is a giant high school Petrie dish. That's where I figured out about all the Rules. Key West is great--many people actually read books here, and they come from all over the world, so the cultural norms are much more flexible, or barely existent. There's still a lot of immature men & women playing games, but it's much easier to dispense with all that useless posturing.
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
If you want to get what you want, then you need to go out and get it.
If you think men should be the ones 'pursuing' then that is fine, just understand, that is the men going out and getting what they want.
The question is, are those two things the same?
I am thinking that is true only occasionally
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
I wish men would be men and learn how to seduce and pursue a woman...im sick if this shit.
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
Quote:
Originally Posted by
miss.a.p1600
So I'm watching this Corey Wayne dude (some "dating coach" whose tactics seem to lean towards PUA) and now I'm more confused than ever about men and dating.
He claims and coaches guys that "When women really like you and you follow the progression in the book, they will do 100% of the calling, texting and pursuing after the first two to three weeks of dating, on average."
Is this true? Or is this how pick up artist think?
I thought men like to do most the pursuing throughout the entire relationship.
Don't know much about the guy, but what he says in bold is true. If a woman really likes a man (for whatever reason) she will pursue the male and by pursue I mean she will at least make herself known to that male that she's available to him.
I say this as a former popular athlete and how I got my first girlfriend who pursued me and then girls later on who pursued me without me doing much other then being a young tall athlete. And if you're a high net worth individual like a guy I knew who drove a Ferrari women would leave their undergarments with a phone number on his car windshield, flash him, and constantly proposition him so much his girlfriend made him get rid of the car.
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
^^^^Thanks for somewhat defining you definition of pursuing. Can you elaborate on your definition of what a woman does to pursue a man she likes? What ways does a woman make herself "available" to him?
What about the time frame? Did they pursue you from the get go or after they had some clue you like them (ex. You had been dating them a couple weeks)?
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
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Originally Posted by
jasmine22
I wish men would be men and learn how to seduce and pursue a woman...im sick if this shit.
It's not so simple like that.... You can't just blame everything on men for not pursuing you. That's fine that you want to be pursued, but these days men are reluctant to speak and pursue women because they are often met with open hostility and rudeness. It's just a fact that young women today are not the same friendly, open-minded, groovy women from the 1960s, so to be fair, both genders have changed.
And seduction and pursuing only works if a woman already has some kind of initial attraction or respect for the man who is doing the pursuing otherwise it's a waste of time and he should cut his loss as soon as humanly possible.
I know this because I have pursued women who either didn't respect me due to lack of funds or didn't find me attractive from the jump and from that point no matter what move I made the relationship never progressed further then being stuck in the friend zone.
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
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Originally Posted by
Luckyguy09
Don't know much about the guy, but what he says in bold is true. If a woman really likes a man (for whatever reason) she will pursue the male and by pursue I mean she will at least make herself known to that male that she's available to him.
I say this as a former popular athlete and how I got my first girlfriend who pursued me and then girls later on who pursued me without me doing much other then being a young tall athlete. And if you're a high net worth individual like a guy I knew who drove a Ferrari women would leave their undergarments with a phone number on his car windshield, flash him, and constantly proposition him so much his girlfriend made him get rid of the car.
Being popular and rich (driving a Ferrari is seen like that even if you live in a shoebox) is totally different sitation. People are attracted to famous and/or rich and I'd say all genders are like that. Many guys might say how unattractive KK is, but the majority would if they could etc.
On a side note here...yes, you can get a woman doing all the pursuing etc, anyone can fuck 100 women/men etc...my problem is...what is the quality of these people? I highly doubt I do that a woman with lots of admirers and self respect (and especially from the sex industry) will buy into PUA BS this or any other. I happened to lose my interest right away if I learned that the guy I liked slept with some desperate hoe next door that sleeps with everyone...(being sexually active is great, but, damn, people, have standards). I value men that don't or don't try to poke every hole available. I don't even think sleeping around is hot/macho/trading, nuh, totally not. Overall I believe our exes say whole lot about us. Be picky even for fucks be picky.
I always thought letting a guy know that you like him was more than enough. Weirdly losers have no problem with overestimating themselves, yet good guys think you'd never like them. Mistery shit. I know...
Chasing a dude never happened, never will only on cam to seperate him from his cash and if maybe...money can't buy me love, but will buy me some shallow dick and this is all what these PUA and their crowd have to offer and at least I will get a fresh young juicy one. I dont want to be served by one of these bad breath bolding mofos. This dude looks like a fucking creep.
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Re: Women Doing The Pursuing???
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Originally Posted by
PrincessfromHell
Being popular and rich (driving a Ferrari is seen like that even if you live in a shoebox) is totally different sitation. People are attracted to famous and/or rich and I'd say all genders are like that. Many guys might say how unattractive KK is, but the majority would if they could etc.
On a side note here...yes, you can get a woman doing all the pursuing etc, anyone can fuck 100 women/men etc...my problem is...what is the quality of these people? I highly doubt I do that a woman with lots of admirers and self respect (and especially from the sex industry) will buy into PUA BS this or any other. I happened to lose my interest right away if I learned that the guy I liked slept with some desperate hoe next door that sleeps with everyone...(being sexually active is great, but, damn, people, have standards). I value men that don't or don't try to poke every hole available. I don't even think sleeping around is hot/macho/trading, nuh, totally not. Overall I believe our exes say whole lot about us. Be picky even for fucks be picky.
I always thought letting a guy know that you like him was more than enough. Weirdly losers have no problem with overestimating themselves, yet good guys think you'd never like them. Mistery shit. I know...
Chasing a dude never happened, never will only on cam to seperate him from his cash and if maybe...money can't buy me love, but will buy me some shallow dick and this is all what these PUA and their crowd have to offer and at least I will get a fresh young juicy one. I dont want to be served by one of these bad breath bolding mofos. This dude looks like a fucking creep.
I am personally really picky but this is a terrible precedent, safe sex should just be normal, like talking or flirting, do you think the next door "hoe" does not need human interaction because she gives it away? Because that is what happens if your standards become precedent. Dating will be rough in the 21st century with so many people playing games, we need less roadblocks not more.