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When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
I burn out more than the average girl. I need the money for food, bills, etc. as everyone and I could picture myself taking a few months off. Working on 2 new jobs or else I'd peace out of this industry in a heartbeat if the money would support me but money is not good enough for me to leave and pay bills AT ALL. I hardly make enough for 1 days worth of food at my new job I created for now. Motivation ideas? I get all ready and just sit there and cringe at putting on a smile. I know I'm happy during and after the date but I talk myself into a negative corner of hell I can't get out of making me not show up and more in debt. So mad at myself! I need some motivation to make me get up off my ass.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
motivation is probably the hardest part. I find for me, I take time off until I feel restless with not having made money, and then i start advertising again.
It sounds like it maybe is a little more complex than that though...? Could you give an example of what kind of negative thoughts go through your head? You say that you "talk yourself into a negative corner", which I can totally relate to. I've found that keeping a journal to work through negative emotions really helps. It's a pain in the ass to keep up, but it helps. I write down the negative thought, and then try to follow it with as many more helpful, specific thoughts that I think of that I believe - not things that don't ring true with me.
You say that's you're happy during the date but also say you want to get out of the industry. These are two opposing sentiments so what's causing this disconnect?
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
Sometimes saving your sanity is worth taking a pay cut.
The winter can affect moods so check that thread out.
And when you get back into full swing hustle mode remember to stack some emergency funds so you can take a month or so break.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
Quote:
Originally Posted by
miss.a.p1600
Sometimes saving your sanity is worth taking a pay cut.
The winter can affect moods so check that thread out.
yesss.. I have been lazy & feeling burnt out all winter. if you can work your ass off all spring summer & fall, while saving & living with just the necessities. you could probably get a way with rejuvenating yourself all winter.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
I wouldn't recommend that too much.... lol. A whole winter.... that's too much, think about it like, would your 65+ version self want that money?? And she can't dance for it, but you can at this moment.
I watch youtube videos of other "hustlers", and that's get me motivated.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
I listen to gospel now. Yup Kirk franklin, Donnie mcklurkin...etc. It's the only thing that keeps me going when I get in a funk. Fuck sitting at home and getting evicted. Remember to save your money when things are good!
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
Quote:
Originally Posted by
fbsmgirl
I listen to gospel now. Yup Kirk franklin, Donnie mcklurkin...etc. It's the only thing that keeps me going when I get in a funk. Fuck sitting at home and getting evicted. Remember to save your money when things are good!
EXACTLY!!! I am going to find another job.... I need two full-time jobs to keep me going... cause this sitting and home and being an internet hermit after work is getting old on me!!
How do housewives do this!? Get that money!
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
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Originally Posted by
DamnJolene
How do housewives do this!? Get that money!
Lol, right? I'd go batty.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
But yes, agree w not taking all of the winter off, that's too much. Especially since fall/winter months are busier for most, depending on where you're located.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
How do housewives do it? Easy. They live fairly balanced lives. There not hermits like the average SW. They're have friends, go to social outings, etc. We prefer to be hermits and wonder why we're always depressed and later suffering from burnouts. IMO.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
It's hard for a lot of us to have a life when we have this "secret" we're carrying.
For me it was hard to have friends and look them in the eye without feeling ... "guilty".
That's why I added the bit about creating another source of income, not only does it help with bills. It's also helps with the dreadful "so what do you do" question. Like it's the only thing that helps.
I get out but i don't get out enough. Now that I'm touring and growing my rw business locally, having a social life is starting to happen naturally.
Any girl working in the business without having a rw gig is setting herself up for failure in the long run. I don't care how many friends you have or parties you attend. If all you do is sex work for years on end, when you do decide to do something else in the real world, you'll feel "lost". There was one time I tried to find a job and I didn't know how to go about looking for one because I've been a working in the adult industry since I was 19 years old. So to those of you out there thinking you can do this till you're 56, the truth is you can but it's best if you have one foot out in the real world so you don't feel like a freak.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
BTW i'm a member of a local mommy group, most of those women are miserable LOL.
Most moms/housewives aren't out having HUGE social lives. They're home taking care of their children, cooking, cleaning, making sure dinner is ready by the time hubby gets back home and yes they throw in a lunch meeting at the local library with one or two of their mommy friends every now and then but they're definitely not social butterflies.
Ever met a recently divorced mother in her 40s?... their lives aren't all hunky dory either. They struggle with the same things we do - depression, anxiety..etc and worse (think financial issues). As you know all women do.
If you're a attractive 20-something year old trying to befriend other married women/housewives/divorced moms, good luck. Get ready for all sorts of assumptions and the 40-something year old clutching their husbands for dear life around you. I can't avoid this because I have a child in grade school.
Yeahhhh I definitely don't want to be a housewife ever. If nothing else, mingling with people in the rw has made me realize that I'm not that bad.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
ugh i hear you. im the farthest thing from being a people person....but i just picture my conscience calling me a whiny bitch ...that may be something that only works for me lol fighting with my own head that i am not a bitch and even if i am burnt out i have enough willpower in me to suck it up and make it through. doesnt always work but luckily saturday it did!
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
Working while you are burnt out can lead to serious problems if you are not able to find a managing balance. Especially if you are unable to leave the work.
I went through burn out to the point of psychosis which had me in and out of treatment. 2014 was my last burn out episode at least when it comes to escorting. Working with burn out when I was camming is a different ball game but definitely less stressors then being an escort.
The balance is figuring out where the burn out is being trigger from the most. It could be financial worries, self image and self esteem, or the overall constant up and down of being available as an escort and dealing with clients, hobbyist opinions and even drama and possible threats from agencies.
Break when you can, save as much as you can when you are working. or hopefully you are able to find a different line of work that you can do until you can recover and recharge to do the work again. Honestly being in burn out to long can cause some serious damage in the long run.
I added more after I've read everyone's post so far.
Yes it's a must to have a plan lined up of what you will do after sex work or when you are burnt out. so wish I knew this when I was in my first episode of burn out. well maybe I did figure it out when I got myself call centre jobs, and was in them for about 2 months then I risked outing myself or being outed as these jobs but for those 2 months I was healing myself so I could decide if I want to return to sex work. Then of course mental breaks are hard to even talk about let ago figure out how I went through them. but I did I got into programs and treatments and medications, and got myself into their employment support programs. and it's something I've always had on hand.
I leaned all on my government services I could qualify for. and I also kept myself available to webcam so that way those checks could give me a sense of relief. I am lucky my expenses are low and Ia m not into the brand name stuff.
Now I am working on leaving the business for good that is becoming more of a real thing then a talking thing. I am connected to a support group, I am constantly connecting with people in that industry I want to be involved in and I am making sure I am putting myself in a position where sex work would be stories for my memoirs.
Multiple streams of income outside of sex work is the way to go , sex work is great but when you really have those skillsets and you are building the right mindset you can make yourself unstoppable.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
I used to experience burnout about every three months when I first started. I started to learn the things that would trigger burnout and take a 'prevantative measures" approach. The factors that trigger your burnout may be different from mine but I'll post mine and the solutions in case they are helpful.
Working too much. This could be seeing too many clients in a day, working too many hours, starting too early and/or finishing too late, working too many days in a week etc. It can take some time to figure out but knowing your limit, creating your work schedule based on that and sticking to it is a huge factor in preventing burnout.
Feeling insecure, low self-esteem. When feeling insecure I dread clients' judgments and have a hard time working. I now accept part of my job is being proactive in taking care of myself and looking/feeling good. I eat healthy, work out regularly, and do my best to feel my best. I don't concern myself with being better than others, I only try to be the best I can be. Obviously this one is not solved overnight and easier said than done but taking this approach has helped me immensely.
Dealing with disrespectful clients, clients that push your boundaries, clients that are manipulative etc. Best solution is to drop them like a hot potato. You will have instant relief. Make up for it by advertising a little more, perhaps work on rebranding or advertising elsewhere if it's a pattern.
Not taking care of your own sexual needs. We spend a lot of time taking care of other's sexual needs and may end up neglecting our own. Finding ways to please yourself is so important or you can end up feeling resentful - I know I can! This could be finding the best toy/porn for yourself, finding a respectul NSA friend, going to swinger's clubs etc. Obviously be safe and responsible.
Not enjoying sex work. Personally, I gain a lot of personal fulfillment from being a sex worker but I know there are a lot of ladies in the biz only for the money. If the work itself is extremely unappealing to you, you'll want to create an exit plan. Decide on a lucrative career path and let money be your motivation to save for an education or to start your own business and start planning a new trajectory.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Ad_Astra
I used to experience burnout about every three months when I first started. I started to learn the things that would trigger burnout and take a 'prevantative measures" approach. The factors that trigger your burnout may be different from mine but I'll post mine and the solutions in case they are helpful.
Working too much. This could be seeing too many clients in a day, working too many hours, starting too early and/or finishing too late, working too many days in a week etc. It can take some time to figure out but knowing your limit, creating your work schedule based on that and sticking to it is a huge factor in preventing burnout.
Feeling insecure, low self-esteem. When feeling insecure I dread clients' judgments and have a hard time working. I now accept part of my job is being proactive in taking care of myself and looking/feeling good. I eat healthy, work out regularly, and do my best to feel my best. I don't concern myself with being better than others, I only try to be the best I can be. Obviously this one is not solved overnight and easier said than done but taking this approach has helped me immensely.
Dealing with disrespectful clients, clients that push your boundaries, clients that are manipulative etc. Best solution is to drop them like a hot potato. You will have instant relief. Make up for it by advertising a little more, perhaps work on rebranding or advertising elsewhere if it's a pattern.
Not taking care of your own sexual needs. We spend a lot of time taking care of other's sexual needs and may end up neglecting our own. Finding ways to please yourself is so important or you can end up feeling resentful - I know I can! This could be finding the best toy/porn for yourself, finding a respectul NSA friend, going to swinger's clubs etc. Obviously be safe and responsible.
Not enjoying sex work. Personally, I gain a lot of personal fulfillment from being a sex worker but I know there are a lot of ladies in the biz only for the money. If the work itself is extremely unappealing to you, you'll want to create an exit plan. Decide on a lucrative career path and let money be your motivation to save for an education or to start your own business and start planning a new trajectory.
I'm in the process of creating an exit plan. I am ready to be done since i've been in the industry for a long time (Since 19, so approaching 8 years). However, my 2 businesses I created are slow at creating money and will likely expand over 2 years time to the point I can retire and survive financially with advertising for roommates. Needing some motivation to keep me excited before appointments still. I'm like that with female friends too I realized. They ask to go for a movie and food after with me on a particular date, I feel exhausted beforehand like I need to entertain them and be fun while we're out, and I cancel because it sounds exhausting.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
If you're feeling that way about your friends, maybe make new ones. I've had this problem as well and Started reaching out to old friends/making new ones who were more relaxed and laid back, calmer, and not needing to be entertained with constant chatter. I just changed and so did my friendships.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
Changing locations made me very good money and I loved the experience. However it was time to come back home, I guess I get bored easily. Tried touring and advertising for tours but no bookings. :(.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Shannon.
If you're feeling that way about your friends, maybe make new ones. I've had this problem as well and Started reaching out to old friends/making new ones who were more relaxed and laid back, calmer, and not needing to be entertained with constant chatter. I just changed and so did my friendships.
I have no friends anymore due to the industry and my embarrassment towards it. :(. Everyone has work friends, kids, husband, and jobs now. It stinks when you get older. I'm researching meetup.com for like minded people.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
SO I've recently created here a group about creating exit strategies and career changes.
I know the name says Career Transition for Cam girls, but right now I Am currently working as a cam girl, and I am completely done working as an escort and other forms of sex work.
The goal is to make the group supportive, and have some career exploration exercises and accountability. I know the biggest thing for me when I was considering exiting the industry was finding support many people weren't supportive and on top of it organizations that claim to help sex workers leave the industry where just a basket of bull and judgement.
So now I am on a path of creating my own career change, counseling support group.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
Wow...right up my alley!!!! I am QUEEN of hiatus! I live in a constant state of fuck all of this! and damn, Ive got bills to pay...but fuck all this anyway lol *sigh*
I have an anxiety disorder and clinical depression...one of those people youd never guess it cause when Im on IM ON and when Im not I disappear into a dark hole. Its a constant struggle to keep my motivation up to work...doesnt matter what type of work it is... I have found though what is very important is that when I feel it coming on, I need to just stop. For the longest, I felt like I need to dust myself off, keep moving, get myself to keep on keeping on...and in the end I would burn out so completely that I was totally useless. So instead, now I drop it and give myself time to decompress... I find that when I allow myself to take a break, I am able to get right back up and out there a lot faster than if I grind myself hard to the point of no return.
In other words, make peace with it that its going to happen..even for people without any issues at all, once they reach a certain stress level they burn out too. Knowing you have a very low tolerance for it is all the more reason to not make it worse by trying to push through it...its perfectly FINE to give yourself a break. Yes, money is a factor, but way better to deal with a loss of a few days to a week, than a loss of months and still cant pull together the mental energy to get started again...with everything falling apart around you making a bad situation even worse. Been there, done that.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
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Originally Posted by
indiegirl
I burn out more than the average girl. I need the money for food, bills, etc. as everyone and I could picture myself taking a few months off. [snip]
OK, this is going to seem self-serving (check out my sig), but I fully understand burnout, having worked more than a decade in adult entertainment. Here goes: Have you considered a texting service, where you can make a bit of money whenever you like throughout the day? Payoff isn't as big, but it's a nice constant and can take the edge off of bills while giving you something to do during your down-time (after you spend some time relaxing: you owe it to yourself and it's important to do!). It can also take your mind off of the real world for a while. Try it out for a bit while you recharge your batteries -- at least you'll have a little $omething coming in.
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Re: When you need the cash but are burnt the eff out
Yesterday on the way I just was repeating to myself that even though I wasn't feeling well ...... that being short on cash was NOT going to make me feel better.
I was talking myself into just choosing the less bad option ( being very low on energy but not as tight on money ) and just has to keep that mental repetition in my mind.