Is the car in your name or his?, you don't want him to be able to report it as stolen if its his. Also if its yours I would sell it. You say hes rich, you don't want him to be able to trace you thru the car.
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Is the car in your name or his?, you don't want him to be able to report it as stolen if its his. Also if its yours I would sell it. You say hes rich, you don't want him to be able to trace you thru the car.
I checked out the gas lighting thread and that sounds spot on. I haven't replied because I have been in the process of leaving him and my apartment doesn't have internet. The car..? Had an engine problem...(I wonder if he did that on purpose) the title was still coming and i had no doubt he would put it in my name but it was a fcked car. Fuck the car and fuck him. My old ass honda civic will take me places i swear. I am ashamed because I am a smart woman but wow to have let this gone on for so long. Its just a huge wake up call when everyone is literally like WTF. This community is really a group of angles though. He keeps trying to say sorry but I am not going to let it happen. I really hope I can post in a month or two an update on life WITHOUT him and my independence back again, i know it will feel so nice.
Ok.
1st, of all I (& can safely say all the ladies that posted here) am proud of you! Good for you!
Please do not feel any shame about this, I know I've been involved in this (more than once) so..
You will get past this, & I'm so happy for you!
It can be easy to get sucked back in with the "sorries" and "I will change, I know I was bad", don't fall for it. That's another manipulation tactic. If you get roped in, there will be a honey moon period where it might really seemed like he changed, but that won't last for very long.
Good I'm so glad you're leaving!! That takes a strong person to get out of an abusive manipulative relationship , but I know you can do it !! Please keep us updated
So glad you updated and that you're getting out. Get a restraining order!
Quoted for truth!! And after the honeymoon period, it will be even WORSE than before!
That's great you are getting out. Stay strong and don't look back. Don't be ashamed...be proud of yourself for knowing your worth and not settling for this bullshit!!! You deserve better! Be safe and be careful and keep us updated.
We are rooting for you, please let us know how it goes, get out safely, don't let him know what your up 2, he will prob act nice , just act as normal as possible.
In her defense, most abused women are good at hiding the fact that they're abused so her friends might not know the whole story........ They probably only see the glamorous side where she's driving a beemer and is being taken care of.. Amen to everything else though.
<3
I am so glad and happy that you left this abusive asshole! A good book that helped me heal and understand why abusive relationships happened to me is Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. Once you're safe and out of his sight, please update us and let us know that you're ok. A lot of times, when the woman tries to leave (and thus no longer under his control) is when the abusive man gets the most violent. Not saying this to scare you, but to remind you to take extra precautions and not believe his sweet words. You deserve agency, safety, and respect and I have nothing but admiration for you for deciding to leave him.
Again, please let us know how you're doing just so we know you're safe! If you need local help google local domestic violence shelters. Many have numbers where you can call and can provide you help or connect you to resources that can.
^^True. When I left my ex, he tried to attack me. Please be careful, and maybe find a safe house to help you safely escape him.
He keeps saying he's going to kill himself if I leave. I'm trying to play it cool and be low key. Now I know why everyone said quietly leave. This is why I feel like I have to leave town and dance.
My ex tried to pull the "I'll kill myself line" ... you know what, he won't. I guarantee it.
I'm so proud of you for leaving. You're going to be fine and I promise you'll start to regain your happiness and independence.
I guarantee all his crying of "suicide" and "I'll change" will be bullshit. It's just a tactic.
Who does he think he is, Romeo? Only Romeo can get away with that! lol
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It's always the same thing with these guys, it's like a broken record.
My ex was emotionally abusive and just a terrible person in general, so when I broke up with him and maintained no contact, he would blow up my phone with text messages and phone calls for weeks. When he saw it wasn't working, he one day stated that he would kill himself. He had a history of depression and being on antidepressants, so I fell for it and sent him a message back, which sent a whole barrage of new messages and harassment for weeks.
He basically admit "Aha! I sent that message to get you to respond." And that is basically it, just to get a rise out of someone/elicit some type of response. When they see it is working, they realize that's all it takes to get some kind of attention and can put the victim several steps back.
^^^ yes 100% they send endless messages, it's kinda draining, but you don't want to block them just to you can see where there head is at ... i.e. if they're threatening anything like coming to find you or coming to your house etc ... but it's exhausting ...
I wouldn't have blinked if my ex killed himself - wouldn't wish him on anyone.
I reallly wouldn't recommend a restraining order right away. In my state at least if the courts smell dv they will press charges against your man no matter what you have to say. You will be supbeonad and have to testify against him and be involved in the case as it crawls towards court. Of course do what you need to do to be safe though!!! Xo good luck
Girl leave him asap! But be smart about it, take most of the expensive things he gave you and pawn them for cash or just start getting cash from him so you can deposit it into a secret bank account. If you can't get him to give you heaps of cash upfront then just have him buy super expensive things then return them for the cash later. Basically save up all monies possible, find you a cheap but safe place to live and start setting it up while your still with him. Have him buy the furniture and everything and just say it's for your parents or a gift for a friend or something. Little by little build it up until you can leave without being completely broke. Either way you need to get away from him so start asap with saving and looking for everything you need in advance. Even if u fill up a amazon cart of household things then just have him pay the bill. Work fast girl and leave ASAP!
I recently read in a book that restraining orders can sometimes make matters worse. It depends on how invested the man has been in the relationship. Apparently it's a lot easier to use a restraining order on a man who was a brief boyfriend vs a long term boyfriend or spouse. A brief fling who won't leave a woman alone might get a scare from the restraining order and back off and focus his energies on something else. But a man who had been involved for years who gets affronted with a restraining order can provoke them more. If they're truly violent with nothing to lose, a restraining order won't help.