-
Dating someone unattractive
I don't mean completely unfortunate but someone just ok maybe they have a belly or a idk slight bald spot. I had a discussion with a friend and she wants someone who is "cute" tall and makes 7 figures. Yeah she maybe alone awhile. On the other hand I'm not big on looks, but need a decent career and I've been alone for a while now. Anyway what are your preferences in dating? If they have a great personality but looked like "yikes" would they have a chance? They would with me as long as that personality doesn't flip burgers. Does that make me desperate or in her words " settling "?
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
Men with pleasant personalities tend to get more attractive as I get to know them. Looks fade but who you are inside is usually something that lasts.
With that said though, there should be at least some physical attraction or my interest will fade, but not necessarily what Hollywood would find attractive.
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
I'm met plenty of ugly guys with ugly personalities. IMO life experiences form a good personality.
Also beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When I was a teenager I didn't like Steve McQueen's looks at all & after my mid 20s he was the hottest guy to me. Tastes change, attractiveness can be very subjective.
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
I mean could you date someone that you find not hot? To me I don't know any of my friends that I find their man attractive. Not that they're ugly just not my type. However if the personality is right I'd be willing to accept a man that is not my type. (Not that I would mess with a friends man)
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
Sexual attraction is really important to me when dating. So I need to find the guy attractive. I can't fuck someone I find ugly or unattractive, sorry. However, a guy can be unconventionally attractive or sexy. It's kind of hard to explain, but, he may not be really "hot" by conventional standards, but still have sex appeal.
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
Quote:
Originally Posted by
SnuffleUffleGrass
I'm met plenty of ugly guys with ugly personalities. IMO life experiences form a good personality.
Also beauty is in the eye of the beholder. When I was a teenager I didn't like Steve McQueen's looks at all & after my mid 20s he was the hottest guy to me. Tastes change, attractiveness can be very subjective.
I agree. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. My most recent ex was not someone most people found attractive. He is very nerdy, wears glasses and even has the whole nerdy look. He is very tall and more on the slim side but not toned or muscular at all. Most women don't find him very attractive, but I found him to be super cute. I was very attracted to him physically and personality wise. The main thing that made me so attracted to him was his intelligence. He is probably one of if not the smartest person I have ever met, his intelligence type was perfectly in sync with mine. I loved him cause I could "take a break" from working my brain if I didn't feel like doing something and he'd be able to completely take over whatever I was working on with no questions asked. It was awesome. After some months of us being together he turned into an ass and I'm pretty sure he's a sociopath, just my luck, so thats over. The bond I had with him when we were together still hurts though, in a different way than it ever has so it really sucks he had to end up being a jerk. Oh well.
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
Money makes people more attractive. ::)
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
Some very beautiful celebrities have married men that most people wouldn't consider very attractive. Celine Dione and Shania Twain married much older men. Christie Brinkley married Billy Joel. I guess he's not bad looking, but not someone I would expect to see with Christie Brinkley. He's also 4 or 5 inches shorter than her.
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
^^ Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett, which confounded many.
And it's the short thing that's going to doom me, isn't it? I'm around the same height as Tom Cruise, and he's still very popular, for some reason.
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
Quote:
Originally Posted by
wish
I don't mean completely unfortunate but someone just ok maybe they have a belly or a idk slight bald spot. I had a discussion with a friend and she wants someone who is "cute" tall and makes 7 figures. Yeah she maybe alone awhile. On the other hand I'm not big on looks, but need a decent career and I've been alone for a while now. Anyway what are your preferences in dating? If they have a great personality but looked like "yikes" would they have a chance? They would with me as long as that personality doesn't flip burgers. Does that make me desperate or in her words " settling "?
This post reminds me how I almost got involved with a married woman because her husband was unattractive.
Story short, I met this really hot 40ish woman who was big into salsa dancing and working out who was also married to a wealthy man. I don't believe she married for money, and she really did love her husband but grew very angry and upset that her husband let himself go.
She desired to be taken by a fit healthy man but I couldn't do it knowing that she was married.
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
^So what happened? You didn't bone her?
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ScarletKitten
^So what happened? You didn't bone her?
No. I don't mess with girls who are taken.
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Luckyguy09
No. I don't mess with girls who are taken.
Aw. Well, you're an upstanding guy.
This is just another reason I'm not getting married. It's a trap! lol
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Luckyguy09
This post reminds me how I almost got involved with a married woman because her husband was unattractive.
Story short, I met this really hot 40ish woman who was big into salsa dancing and working out who was also married to a wealthy man. I don't believe she married for money, and she really did love her husband but grew very angry and upset that her husband let himself go.
She desired to be taken by a fit healthy man but I couldn't do it knowing that she was married.
Smart move. TBH just avoiding the amount of drama that a married mistress can generate is reason enough to feel good about saying no.
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
Subscribing to read later!
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
I stand by the concept that some unique looks on people are so homely as to be endearing. For example when I was in my early 20s I discovered me & a female co-worker had girlhood crushes on the character Hoss on "Bonanaza" (a Western TV show.) The actor was not handsome & overweight to boot but he had the je ne sai quoi.
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
My ideas of attractiveness change with experience. I thought I was beyond attracted to my most recent ex. He is conventionally attractive and my friends all cooed over his looks.
Now that I'm dating my current partner, even two years in, I am more attracted to him than I ever was even in the "honeymoon" stage of my previous relationship. My current partner is not conventionally attractive and all my friends coo over his humor and his intelligence, and I love that they have so much more to judge him positively on than his looks.
A few years back my idea of attractiveness would have made me reject my current partner. Today there is no one that I am more physically attracted to than him.
Physical attraction matters, but for me I had to grow up more to learn exactly what a physical attraction means to me, and it has nothing to do with how society conditioned me to perceive it.
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
We constantly hear this & it's TRUE- a lot of attraction is mental.
Also side note- as a teen I found certain "conventionally attractive" actors unappealing because they were so good at playing jerks on TV & movies- my bratty disposition colored my atttitude about looks.... In short a person's views on this topic can be influenced by their phase of life or the values they hold (come on, strippers are so used to meeting guys & having the guy quit pursuing as soon as he discovers her job at the club.) Men are painted as sex crazed animals but a lot of men can resist the appeal of short term sex in order to find a mate they WANT in all ways.
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
Man is ugly?!? No problem - I'm trying to see what that wallet do???
Must have more money to overlook ugliness and the higher possibility our kids inherit his ugly genes. Society favors pretty unless you have money it's a cold harsh world but that's the way it is.
Sex with ugly dude - no problem - turn off all lights or close eyes and fantasize hot celebrity
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
I know I'm oversharing but my mom is living proof that you can be born incredibly attractive but be as crazy as a shithouse rat & your crazy will negate any gain you get from your looks.
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
I won't date ugly, but I'm definitely more attracted to intelligence, personality, and sense of humor. I tend to date people who aren't conventionally super attractive - my niche = the decent-looking folks who become more attractive as you get to know them. . I only date people who are in shape though. Definite preference for blue eyes as well. I'm more picky with women than with men. I need people who are as intelligent as i am (even better if it's a different type of intelligence than my own) and who can challenge me. Pushovers need not apply..
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
I have definitely dated, even seriously dated, guys who not conventionally attractive. They weren't ugly by any means, (I've honestly met very few people in this world who I consider just straight up "damn, you ugly"), but yeah, I've been with slightly chubby, balding, lanky, pasty, short - sometimes a combination. But I ended up being sexually attracted to them through getting to know them better, and the more I like someone mentally, the hotter they are.
I have reached a point later in life where certain aspects of physical attractiveness are more important to me - like dental hygiene. An ex of mine had the nastiest teeth that I couldn't even look at when he smiled. I ignored it, but that was one thing I never really got used to. When I started seeing a new guy and realized his teeth were even worse.... It wasn't the only reason, but I knew there was no future. It really bugs me now.
I wouldn't want to be with someone long term who just straight up obviously doesn't take care of themselves. There's a difference between kinda chubby by genetics or just a little out of shape from not hitting the gym every day, but yet eating well, good hygiene, can be fairly active - and just being a slob who treats their body like shit (eats crap, drugs/smoking, sits on couch all day every day) - and you can definitely tell the difference. At that point, the way they behave in life, physically projected on their body, is what makes them the most unattractive. But other unconventionally attractive traits on an otherwise normal, fairly healthy, nice guy? Absolutely. They can be hot to me. However, there are guys who are not necessarily ugly, but who I just don't find super attractive - maybe as part of their personality or whatever it is. If no attraction ever develops, then no... I can't just deal with never being sexually aroused by someone I'm dating. But that has more to do with the mental thing again.
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Aurora_Sunset
I have reached a point later in life where certain aspects of physical attractiveness are more important to me - like dental hygiene. An ex of mine had the nastiest teeth that I couldn't even look at when he smiled. I ignored it, but that was one thing I never really got used to. When I started seeing a new guy and realized his teeth were even worse.... It wasn't the only reason, but I knew there was no future. It really bugs me now.
YES. Dental hygiene is one of the most important things. He must have nice, clean, white teeth. That is one of the things I wonder about when I see a guy I might be interested in, "what does his teeth look like?" lol
Plus, the thought of making out with a guy who has bad dental hygiene makes me sick. Just, no.
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
I'm sorry but why in the world would you date someone you didn't find attractive?
If he's rich, I understand but if he isn't, ummmm...
My dating requirements are simple
1. Rich
2. Attractive to me.
3. Has decent manners
-
Re: Dating someone unattractive
Quote:
Originally Posted by
ScarletKitten
Plus, the thought of making out with a guy who has bad dental hygiene makes me sick. Just, no.
Right? It really started bugging me when my mom, who works at a dentist office, chimed in one day on my ex's teeth, telling me that "you know, bad dental hygiene could give you a yeast infection... if you catch my drift."
Not something I thought about before, but YUCK. That's always on my mind when I see a guy's bad teeth now - I don't want them anywhere near "down there." :stop: