Getting your regular to spend more on you in or OTC
So I have this regular who pretty much fell in love with me and is going through a divorce.
He came to the club 3 times a week and spent 200-300 dollars on me for the first week or two.
We exchanged numbers since I wanted to tell him when I work and he and I meet up for lunch or
dinner every now and then, but I noticed that now he doesn't come to the club as much. ugh.
He also bought me a few outfits worth about $200 from VS, but other than that he doesn't really
offer to help me out here and there or give me anything for going out and listening to him vent about his problems.
I've jokingly said things like, normally psychiatrists charge 200/hr to listen to people and give advice ;)
He didn't really get the hint and just laughed it off. Last time we went out he was serious and told me
he loved me before I went back home (he did have a few glasses of wine) but I think he was serious.
What's crazy is he's even told his 3 kids about me and wants me to go to on trips with his kids and stuff, it just seems weird.
I know he makes money, too. He's a Doctor at a hospital and all of his kids are in high school with brand new cars.
All I really want is like $100 even to go out since that's my time and I know I'm going to have to hear his corny jokes and
marriage problems, but I feel tacky asking for that. Anyone have experience with this. I feel like I fucked up by going out
with him instead of letting him just be my regular and keep it in the club. :'(
Re: Getting your regular to spend more on you in or OTC
This sounds more like you're dating him and he doesn't sound like a customer anymore. Next time he wants to take you out tell him you need to work and see if he offers to give you money. If he doesn't offer then just tell him you would be willing to go out with him if he made up for what you'd be missing out at work. If he tells you to just go to work then find a new regular.
I'm pretty much strictly ITC though so I'm sure other girls have some better advice lol but that's what I would do.
ETA: Also.. you should get more than $100 from him. You can make that in 15 minutes in the club. Spending hours with a customer over dinner and drinks for $100 is a total waste of time.
Re: Getting your regular to spend more on you in or OTC
Girl, if he is a Dr. he is probably pissing out dumb money between his insurance, over head and his kid's school, cars and car insurance coupled with the divorce. Unless his wife was also a Dr. or lawyer or some other very high paying job he is likely paying her legal bills too.
I agree with 22ligm he probably thinks he is dating you now. To be honest, this guy seems kind of normal to me and coming in may have been something to do with the divorce. You need to be a little more direct with him; if you want your OTC encounters to be paid you need to say so. If you want to see him in the club and want more money, you also need to say so. Otherwise, just move on.
Re: Getting your regular to spend more on you in or OTC
At this point, don't beat around the bush. Tell him you love going out with him, but things are tight. Say you'd rather go out with him than go to work & ask if he will help you out. If he says yes right away, go for it. If he says no or to go to the club, say bye.
Re: Getting your regular to spend more on you in or OTC
How many days of work does he give up for you?
Re: Getting your regular to spend more on you in or OTC
Words are cheap.
He is getting exactly what he wants out of this relationship & you are not.
Be unavailable for dates because you have to work to pay bills. Dates with him over working is a mistake. You are putting your financial future at risk for WHAT?
When he calls to dump all his problems, cut those calls short. You have to go to work or on a date with someone else. You are NOT a couple, there isn't a ring on your finger. You are a secret & he can be lying about telling his kids about you.
He isn't the love of your life. If there is more than one strip club in town, bet he is spending the money he used to on you there. Developing the same thing with another dancer for when this goes sour.
Cut your losses & develop another good regular instead of being wrapped into something that ins't a formal relationship with a real future.
Re: Getting your regular to spend more on you in or OTC
Go put a nice watch on lay-a-way at a jewelry store. Then on the way to lunch with him, ask to stop by there so you can make a payment on it. See if he goes into the store with you. See if he buys it for you.
Gold & good watches increase in value over time. Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend after all. Sorry, but $200 on VS for lingerie is nothing. It's worth nothing in less than a week.
If he does buy it, then next time you go out. Talk about a ring you just adored there, something in the $300 price range. Actually solid gold bracelets are a wonderful investment. Gold is always valuable & can be hawked in an emergency.
It is partly your fault that you let him show up to your door empty handed. Asking for cash makes at this point, is a mistake. He will then throw it in your face that you are only after his money & flip the script on you. He knows there is a price to pay, right now, he is doing it with promises of a future but without any real commitment to it aka stringing you along.
Who wants to go on vacation with kids? Nothing romantic about it, but you get to play Mom/Wifey without the ring or credit cards in both names. You get to put in all the work & effort to impress him....... Psshhh! As if his kids are just going to welcome you into their family with open arms........... you know that isn't how it works.
You are the stripper rebound, get him through the divorce gal. You are a patch for his ego & his unpaid therapist. Try the jewelry store lay-a-way & get some real jewelry out of this situation.