Asking for compensation for a date?
I have a regular who is interested in taking me out. I'm doing the "girlfriend" hustle on him, he gets VIPs every time he comes to see me, and I gave him my number to let him know when I am working, etc.
So, now this mf is wanting to take me out and I'm not sure how to tell him I need money if I'm going to go out with him? I think he genuinely thinks that I am interested in going out with him for the fun of it. He has made no mention of financial compensation.
I'm thinking of phrasing it something like, "I'd love to go out with you, but unfortunately due to my busy schedule I simply can't unless I am financially compensated." But is that too cold? I'm not too worried about losing him as a customer, but I would like some advice on how to navigate a situation like this so they understand that I do not work for free and that this is strictly a business relationship.
Re: Asking for compensation for a date?
Ugh, it looks a bit dodgy to say yes to going out with him and THEN saying you need to be paid for it. And there's no reason why he would suggest paying you unless you mentioned it first.
Re: Asking for compensation for a date?
tell him you are really stressed cause you are behind on your rent and ask him to pay it if he doesn't get the hint
Re: Asking for compensation for a date?
Yeah every date/time he proposed Id say hey Bob I'd love to hang out with you but I have to work at the club because I'm earning money for tuition/new laptop/holiday travel/etc during all the days you suggested.
If he heard you right he will offer some money so you won't have to work and can spend time with him.
If he is not hearing your message then you can either be blunt or just ignore his requests.
Re: Asking for compensation for a date?
Ugh these are sticky spots. These kind of guys seem to think that the only time they have to spend money is when you are literally in the club building.
I generally am trying to get *rid* of guys like this, but I say "I wish! I can't though... I have to be here, tuition/rent/whatever is due soon... I mean unless you wanna pay my rent for me, teehee" It at least gets the point across that I am not going to hang out with them without pay, without being super rude, and it leaves the door wiiiiiiide open for them to jump in and say "Hey I can take care of that for you!"
Re: Asking for compensation for a date?
Yes, the 2 posts directly above mine are pretty much spot on. I am sorry, but I simply can not afford to miss the night of work. If you can not get your whole rent off him, unless get what you would have made at the club.
Re: Asking for compensation for a date?
Honestly I do not waste my time with this kind of hustle anymore. I think my first year dancing I had more patience for it or trying to keep a regular in this way; even tho I would almost never speak to them unless it was like *send sexy pic* "Hey I'm working tonight!" or if they invite me out to dinner.. "aw darn I have to work that night!"... but I just don't have the emotional energy for it anymore. It's such a slippery slope that always ends badly.
When you factor in the amount of time, energy and effort you put into guys like this for the GFE ; you honestly aren't making shit for money... unless they are giving you 5k every time they see you. So, I am pretty cold with guys these days and cut them off quickly. But if you must, just know you can prob. only keep up the paid dinner date thing maybe 3-5 times before he will want more and you will need to block him. So get what you can out of it without doing too much psychological damage to him.
I honestly keep my hustle very very straight forward and professional these days, and surprise my money is the same as feeling like I "need regulars" to make money when it's slow. You just gotta have faith that there will always be another guy will to pay you; and not give more of your time or energy than is necessary.
Re: Asking for compensation for a date?
What I was going to say was already posted. I just wanted to add that I have no patience for these guys anymore either! I had this customer who I know had a lot of money, but kept trying to take me out for free. I tried the whole 'I have to work *hint *hint' and all he would say is 'it would be so much easier if you dated me!' Like HELLO maybe I would 'date' you if you actually gave me some money jackass! I don't trust these customers anymore and I think they just try to get the most they can out of you for free. Honestly save the headache and try to keep the guy in the club for as long as you can.
Re: Asking for compensation for a date?
Tell him you planned on working, what you average on a nightly basis & ask if he could cover it or close to it so you guys can go out & you won't have to worry about making up for missing work. I'm sure he'll say yes ;)
Re: Asking for compensation for a date?
Guys always thinking something is for free. Annoying.
Re: Asking for compensation for a date?
Seen lots of girls try this hustle back when I danced. Once he got what he wanted, he moved onto the next challenge. Now, I didnt make as much at one time from these guys, but they still tipped me & bought dances from me for YEARS. Over all I made more money off of them but just being a stripper & keeping it all professional.
Cause they can come back to the club & start seeing the next challenge & cause problems with your co-workers & play you off of each other. They may come in & throw a fit if they see you dancing for another guy. He will always tip & get dances from a gal who he may want & still thinks he can close for years to come if she is aloof & never plays that game with him.
These guys are older than you are & have way more years in at playing this game. You aren't going to play him, he has already played you & is trying to close the deal with sex.
Now when you are older & been through the game a bit more & don't fall for this crap. Player will recognize player & have some respect for you once you call them out on it & have a good laugh over it. Every once in a while a young gal will come along & out play them. If you are coming here to ask , you aren't one of them.
He's getting tired of spending all that money & now is ready to close the deal. Whether he takes you out or doesn't, that well is about to run dry. Best to move onto the next just like he is already.
Re: Asking for compensation for a date?
He doesn't think it is something for free. He considers what he has tipped & paid to her an investment on getting what he wants in the long run.
If he wanted to pay for pussy straight up then he'd seen an escort. It's about the chase for this type. This type doesn't give girls money for a dinner date or to cover their bills, way to crude & crass for them. He doesn't want to play sugar daddy or pay for companionship for a dinner date.
Now, going into the club, buying a few dances & drinks. Waving all that money around so that she thinks if she goes out on a date or has sex with him there will be more. Now, that makes it all a sport, a chase. Minute she ask for money for going to dinner he will flip the script on her & say she really never liked him. She only liked his money & start shaming her & guilt tripping her.
Only money you are going to get out of most men is at the club. Cause they love the chase, once they get what they want the chase is over for them. They move onto the next conquest.
Re: Asking for compensation for a date?
Sam38g I don't play that game lol. I'm not going anywhere with these dudes without being compensated. I don't care what they have spent in the past. But I get what you're saying.
Re: Asking for compensation for a date?
I second what all the other girls said but I'd like to add my own spin on it. First, before you say "I have to work" because honestly that's a really transparent hustle (no offense to you ladies) be reluctant. Make him want it even more. If he asks you out on a date be like "ooooh I don't knowww" with a shy giggle. Be coy. If he's been your regular for a while, make him work til he's practically begging you. Say "I don't know" "I'll think about it" "maybe" "I'm not sure" and give him the impression that you just need him to sweeten the deal just a tiiiiny bit more. Either he'll drop the idea completely or he'll start considering a negotiation. After this, when he says "can I take you to dinner on friday" you say "oh darn! I'm already scheduled for work that night. I'd call out, but I really need to make (x amount of dollars)." I don't recommend saying you need money for rent/bills cos it makes you look like you can't manage your money well enough to even take ONE night off work which looks kinda pathetic. If he offers you the cash make sure you are both CLEAR on the amount. I've made the mistake of taking off a shift for a customer that said he'd "help me out" which meant fifty bucks cash and a dinner at a fucking chain restaurant and then his friends just ~happened~ to show up to see me with him. what a fucking nightmare.
Re: Asking for compensation for a date?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
babb
I have a regular who is interested in taking me out. I'm doing the "girlfriend" hustle on him, he gets VIPs every time he comes to see me, and I gave him my number to let him know when I am working, etc.
So, now this mf is wanting to take me out and I'm not sure how to tell him I need money if I'm going to go out with him? I think he genuinely thinks that I am interested in going out with him for the fun of it. He has made no mention of financial compensation.
I'm thinking of phrasing it something like, "I'd love to go out with you, but unfortunately due to my busy schedule I simply can't unless I am financially compensated." But is that too cold? I'm not too worried about losing him as a customer, but I would like some advice on how to navigate a situation like this so they understand that I do not work for free and that this is strictly a business relationship.
Just ask for what you want - a purse, funds to take a class... And if he says no, ask how much is he willing to put toward (it).
Re: Asking for compensation for a date?
Just don't do it. There is no happy ending here. He thinks he has a real chance, you ain't dating him. Oh well. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Re: Asking for compensation for a date?
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sam38g
He doesn't think it is something for free. He considers what he has tipped & paid to her an investment on getting what he wants in the long run.
If he wanted to pay for pussy straight up then he'd seen an escort. It's about the chase for this type. This type doesn't give girls money for a dinner date or to cover their bills, way to crude & crass for them. He doesn't want to play sugar daddy or pay for companionship for a dinner date.
Now, going into the club, buying a few dances & drinks. Waving all that money around so that she thinks if she goes out on a date or has sex with him there will be more. Now, that makes it all a sport, a chase. Minute she ask for money for going to dinner he will flip the script on her & say she really never liked him. She only liked his money & start shaming her & guilt tripping her.
Only money you are going to get out of most men is at the club. Cause they love the chase, once they get what they want the chase is over for them. They move onto the next conquest.
I agree. I’ve never played those games; I don’t want a stalker. It usually ends up in drama. If there’s someone who good at it without ending up with a stalker or actually sleeping with the guy Id like to know. I did it once and i regretted it. They want more and more until they weren’t even worth the stress anymore. I like to have strict boundaries between my work life or home life. Most of the dancers I know who “dated” customers were on another level and had so much drama from it. There might be a few rich guys who want a legit date for a business dinner? Then he’ll come to club tell everyone that so and so went out on a date...