Falling in Love with a Customer
Hi ladies, I'm using a new burner account because this post is a little too personal for my regular account (I'm not a troll!). So...
I met this phenomenal customer last fall and he quickly became my regular ITC. Shortly after I started going to dinner w/ him, because he was so monetarily generous (the best I have had in 9 yrs of dancing). We would go out and have tons of fun (plus he paid me 1k), he still also visited me at the club. He started asking about my feelings and if I would consider sleeping w/ him (we had already crossed my boundaries inside the club). I told him I would consider it, but did not want to get attached emotionally.
Eventually we slept together and it has become pretty normal now. We went on a rockstar VIP vacation together, he has bought me expensive jewelry (~7k?), designer clothes and Choo's, aftermarket upgrades to my vehicle (~5k), etc! He is very generous (with cash too)!
So now we hang at each other's houses, text a bunch, and go out a little w/out making a "date". He still is very generous and visits me ITC and makes a weekly date. I find myself having feelings for him. I find myself thinking about him and wanting to hang out. Here is the hard part; he is 64 yrs old (I'm in my late 30's). I wouldn't normally date somebody that much older and am scared I am only infatuated w/ him because of the money/lifestyle. We do have so much fun together and I find his presence relaxing. I mean, there is also all the other weird customer/dancer dynamic stuff to get over too. I also do NOT want to lose him as a customer! I am thinking of asking him for an allowance (kinda like a SB thing) and continuing our relationship OTC and taking a hiatus from dancing. Am I being a greedy bitch who doesn't really have true feelings for him? I'm so confused.
What r your thoughts?
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
i don't see the problem here at all? lol sounds like an awesome setup, especially if you're not head over heels for him emotionally but do enjoy his company. i had something like this with a guy i met at the club and it was a great experience, he was a great guy, we traveled and had fun and he bought my boobs. i made the mistake of getting a little to invested though so i guess just be wary with that. as long as he isn't married or anything i say go for it BUT if you ever decide to date someone else seriously or try to go back to only seeing in the club... just know that might not happen and you'll likely lose him as a customer. but for now i'd say enjoy it while it lasts
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
Getting too invested is kinda what I'm scared about when I think about entertaining my feelings for him. I can play it safe and continue to have him as a good customer (until it ends) or I can make a leap into an unknown...
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
Sounds better than my choices. My on again off again that I've been with for 6 years is 10 years younger than me and definitely not in a position to give me "rock star vacations". Keep him. You won't be the first or the last to do this.
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
I would turn him into a sugar daddy or become his spoiled girlfriend etc and keep dancing on the side or have some sort of additional income coming in just in case he leaves you high and dry. I dated a client of mine for two years while I was working and he broke my heart and I regret not turning him into a sugar daddy etc. I lost so much money being unable to work during the break up. Just have a plan in place should things go sour :)
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
Having sex & a good time with someone does lead to deeper emotional feelings. His age isn't an issue while having sex, shopping, dinner & such. So is it really an issue? No
Can't turn it into a Sugar Baby/Daddy situation & the feelings disappear.
Ya'll are having a great time, let things progress as they are without fretting about everything & where it is going. Love can be a wonderful thing, after all.
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
I think this sounds like a great arrangement. He seems to be a decent person, from what you told us. If you like his company, and the money, keep doing what you're doing. I will say that changing the status of the relationship might bring other unwanted things with it... the dancer/customer relationship is going to give you more power and more distance. Since you don't seem fully invested in him right now as a lover/boyfriend, I'd avoid thinking of it as a "love" relationship... just let this keep going and see what happens.
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
If you guys are both having fun and nobody is getting hurt, I say just relax and enjoy the relationship. Save your money and keep working though. Don't ever depend on anyone for money other than yourself.
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
If he is this old & not married, more than likely he isn't the marrying type & this isn't an issue. He is also old enough & knows the game. He is having a blast & so are you. Live, love & laugh, enjoy it.
Spoiling you this way is cheaper than marrying you & giving you half in a divorce. He might have kids & wants to leave the fortune to them, by not marrying he avoids any complications for his will & heirs.
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
also be wise and invest the money.
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
Yes girl!!!! Get it!!! I would personally ask for an allowance on top of the other things, but I don't know your situation that well.
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
I would just go with the flow, don't try and put a label on it or tell him how you feel, he might run, he's probably loving the dating the stripper,just carry on and get as much as you can enjoy yourself.
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
Quote:
Originally Posted by
chanzep
I would just go with the flow, don't try and put a label on it or tell him how you feel, he might run, he's probably loving the dating the stripper,just carry on and get as much as you can enjoy yourself.
He actually has asked me several times how I feel about us. I have been honest (age difference worries me, and I don't want to be emotionally invested in anybody now because I just ended a LT relationship last fall too). He asked me again last night (that's the 3rd time, though I don't feel annoyed/pressured). I added in that I didn't want to loose him as a customer, because he has been so generous. I think he appreciates the truth. I think he has been a little lonely for a while and enjoys my company. I think he enjoys my youth and that I make sure I look good when we go out, rather than "dating a stripper". He is going through a devorce right now, so I have told him that is a deal breaker for me to invest emotionally (or define our relationship) until it's finalized.
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Jessebel
He actually has asked me several times how I feel about us. I have been honest (age difference worries me, and I don't want to be emotionally invested in anybody now because I just ended a LT relationship last fall too). He asked me again last night (that's the 3rd time, though I don't feel annoyed/pressured). I added in that I didn't want to loose him as a customer, because he has been so generous. I think he appreciates the truth. I think he has been a little lonely for a while and enjoys my company. I think he enjoys my youth and that I make sure I look good when we go out, rather than "dating a stripper". He is going through a devorce right now, so I have told him that is a deal breaker for me to invest emotionally (or define our relationship) until it's finalized.
I think you're handling this very well! :)
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
Quote:
Originally Posted by
KALIN
I think you're handling this very well! :)
Thanks Kalin!
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
He is vulnerable right now. And isn't in the right state of mind to make a commitment no matter what the other stuff is. You are wise with your honesty & this situation.
Divorces are rough. You aren't misleading him and a good person.
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
I also want to add, if you were just infatuated with the money and lifestyle and did not have genuine feelings for him you would know it.
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
This reminds me a lot of my relationship with my boyfriend of like 4 months. Im 31 and he is 63. He is a doctor, very handsome, funny, fit, nice, attentive, generous, and affectionate. He met me at my club, and after months of him wanting to take me out to dinner, I finally agreed and we really hit it off. I can now say that this is the best thing that has happened to me in a long time.
In the beginning the age gap was a concern to me, but I dont even notice it anymore. I just feel thankful he is in my life. I notice a lot of the BS I dealt with with younger guys is non existent with him. I really think if you were into this guy just for $, you wouldnt even be questioning your feelings for him.
In the very beginning with my guy, I told myself to just "go with it." You have to let life surprise you sometimes. The $ is nice, as you know. But being with someone so generous, fun, and relaxing for you to be with is so important too.
I know having feelings for a much older man seems complicated at times, but I think overall this sounds like an awesome situation. ☺
Re: Falling in Love with a Customer
Enjoy it. But yes -keep working and perhaps save/invest some money. Also, if you are too scared to get attached to that guy -have another boyfriend at the same time.